"We were having fun." Violet points to Ethan.
"After two years of a miserable separation." Mal shoots Ethan another meaningful look. It's pure sibling telepathy.
Violet and I don't have a clue. At least not if her expression is any indication.
"And three years of bliss before that." Ethan squeezes Violet's hand. "You know that was all bullshit, honey? I never wanted us to be casual."
"Not even for a minute?"
"I wanted to only want to fuck you." He leans in to press his forehead against hers. "But that was my ego talking. It couldn't take that you'd left. Every other fiber of my being wanted to be around you."
"Ethan," she murmurs.
He leans in for a kiss. A much too passionate for this nice restaurant kiss. But I guess that's what you get with a romantic atmosphere.
"Aw… I'm going to take a picture." That's Piper's bubbly voice.
Sure enough, it's followed by the click of a camera phone. And by Kit's deep chuckle.
Piper steps forward to show off her snapshot—it is a cute picture, what with the setting sun in the background. Piper isn't doing too bad on the cute front herself. Her rose-print midi dress has thin straps and a sweetheart neckline. With her Mary Jane heels, her chunky black purse, and her long blonde hair in a half updo, she's adorable. Somehow, she even makes visible roots look cute.
She leans in to hug me. "It's nice to see you, Lacey. You look pretty."
"Thanks." I'm not sure what I did to deserve this much of her affection. I guess she really does think Mal and I have a future. And, for some reason, she really wants that.
Because he's never with anyone?
Or because there's some reason why he should be with me?
She's a lot younger than Mal is. That must mean something, but I haven't got a clue what that is.
Kit pulls out Piper's chair for her then he takes a seat next to her. He's in all black-collared shirt, slacks, dress shoes. His hair is that same mass of curls and he's still rocking the eyebrow piercing.
She pushes their chairs closer together. Her blue eyes—they're just like Mal's, but a little lighter—take in the room. "Mom and Dad are running late. How unusual."
Mal shoots her a stern look.
She folds her arms, and turns to face me. "Kit told me all about the video. It sounds really fun. And you're organizing that whole thing?"
"Some of it. The producer is dealing with a lot of the practical details," I say.
"Tell me the truth. You came up with that entire concept to get the guys naked," she says.
I laugh. It doesn't do enough to diffuse the tension. "Just Mal, but I figured while I was there…"
"I saw your other video." Her face scrunches with distaste. "Sorry, that's my ew, that's my brother reflex. You look good in it. All sweet and innocent. Just like the kind of girl who would break Mal's heart."
"Does Mal's heart break?" I ask.
"I think so." Her eyes get sympathetic as she takes in her older brother's expression. "But never from a woman." She looks back to me. "Do you need any extra background people? I'm an actress. I know a lot of people."
"No, but… well, we were going to cast the first person we found as the bride." I should really clear this idea with several people, but I don't care. "Do you want to do it?"
"Really?" Her eyes light up. She turns to Kit. "You don't mind?"
"Depends who the groom is," he mumbles.
"Oooh, can Bella do it!" Piper smiles.
"I'll ask." Mal pulls out his cell and taps a text. There's no emotion in his voice. "You do realize you'll never hear the end of it if you kiss Joel's wife."
"It's a stage kiss," Piper says.
"Still." Mal's voice lifts. "Fuck, I don't want to think about the shit he's going to say. I'd put good money on him inviting you to a threesome."
"Over my dead body," Kit says.
"Over Bella's dead body," Violet says. "But I'm guessing he'd just offer to watch you and Bella… which, I don't see that happening. And I don't want to."
"It's acting. You're all perverts." Piper looks to me. "If you need someone. If not, I have plenty of Netflix to watch."
"Baby, you make your plans sound so exciting," Kit teases.
"Netflix is exciting." Piper looks to me. "You must agree, Lacey. All those movies and TV shows at your fingertips—what could be better than that?"
Finally, Mal's eyes light up.
He looks to me with a smile that screams I know exactly what could be better than an infinite supply of entertainment.
My cheeks flush.
Piper makes that ew face.
Violet laughs.
Then all that joy falls from Mal's face. I turn to follow his gaze. A couple in their 50s steps into the restaurant. The woman is wearing a printed maxi dress. The man is in khakis and one of those Tommy Bahama kinds of shirts.
They have the same blue eyes that all the Strongs do.
Those most be Mal's parents.
He gets up to help them to the table.
Slowly, his mom looks over the table. "Violet, nice to see you." She looks to Kit. "And you too, Christopher." Her gaze goes to me. "You must be Malcolm's girlfriend, Lacey." She offers her hand. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Shirley."
"You too." I shake.
No one corrects her about how I'm not Mal's girlfriend.
Slowly, she goes around the table, hugging each of her kids. Despite the pained expression on her usually bubbly face, Piper hugs back. Ethan too.
Mal hugs his mom then takes his seat.
Then his dad takes his turn welcoming us with handshakes. His name is Cameron.
Cameron pulls out Shirley's chair for her. It's kind of sweet, how the two of them are clearly in love. But then I can't say I'm inclined to like these people. They've obviously caused Mal a lot of pain.
She turns to Mal. "Sweetie, you look tired. You're too young to be so tired."
His eyes turn down, but he says nothing.
"Yes, almost like he spent the last nine years doing all the things parents do." Piper folds her arms. "How was your flight?"
"Long." Shirley's voice is low. Drawn out.
Her eyes are weary the way Mal's are. Slowly, she turns to her daughter. "You look beautiful, Piper. How is school?"
"It's August," she says. "We're not back in session for another month."
"Your transcripts were good," Shirley says.
Piper bites her tongue. "It's fine, I guess. I have to study a lot and practice a lot, but I get by."
"Mal tells me you were in a show," she says.
Piper frowns.
Violet jumps in. "She was great. She always is. You really raised a family of entertainers."
Shirley nods.
Cameron just sits there, staring at her like he's worried she's about to break.
Thankfully, the waiter saves us from the awkward silence. He drops off a round of waters and takes everyone's orders. It goes surprisingly quickly what with none of us having looked at our menus.
I can't even bring myself to tease Mal about ordering the entree of grilled fish and sautéed vegetables. That joy in his expression is gone.
And I think I know why.
I hope I'm wrong.
Mom leans back in her chair with a soft smile. She looks to Violet and Ethan. "Do you have plans for the wedding?"
Ethan's expression screams why, it's not like you're going to show up.
Violet squeezes his hand back. "We found a place, this castle in San Bernardino. We haven't set a date yet. Maybe this fall. Maybe next. Or… I guess it doesn't have to be fall as long as it's sunset and it's cooler. It gets hot in the hills in the summer."
Ethan smiles at her. "And you'll melt under twenty pounds of black satin."
She blushes. "It has nothing to do with that."
"Uh-huh." He leans in to press his forehead against hers again.
They kiss, again.
For a second, all the tension at the table melts. It's like w
e really are here to celebrate Violet and Ethan's engagement. Even Mal looks happy about it.
Well, he doesn't look miserable.
I lean in to whisper in his ear. "You need a breather?"
He shakes his head.
Mom leans back into her seat. "We have some news too."
Cameron shakes his head. "We should wait, Shirley."
"No. We can't wait." She looks to Piper. To Ethan. To Mal. "I'm not well."
All chatter ceases.
"It's my heart," she says. "We saw a doctor but we weren't in the city. He didn't have good equipment to say how much it's a problem."
"But…" Piper's voice breaks. "You're going to be okay."
"Maybe." Shirley's voice is steady.
"What do you mean maybe?" Ethan asks.
"It might be treatable. But with this onset, at my age." Shirley's voice is even, matter-of-fact. "Most likely, it's terminal."
25
Mal
The world goes quiet.
Everyone's questions run together.
What the hell do you mean terminal?
We watch medical shows together, Pipes. You know what it means.
But—
You're dying?
But—
How long?
But you—
We have an appointment this week with the best cardiologist in the state.
And that's going to help?
It might… Or…
And you're telling us now?
We didn't know until now.
Mal, are you listening?
Are you okay?
Mal…
Mal…
I don't absorb another word of conversation. We get through appetizers, dinner, and dessert, and I don't absorb a single thing.
I walk Mom and Dad to their car and close with a hug.
Mom whispers something about how I'm the strong one, the one who holds the family together.
Dad shoots me that stoic paternal look. He shakes his head. This isn't good, but you can handle it.
I watch them drive away. Back to the house. My house. But it's their house. I don't have a place that's mine. I don't have a place where I can scream that this is fucking bullshit.
Piper is leaning against my car, her arms folded over her chest. Her expression is more angry than sad.
Kit is next to her. Not quite next to her. It's at least a foot. He's giving her space.
She looks at me. "This doesn't change anything."
"Piper—" It's all I can say. Piper isn't going to change her feelings about this. But I can't let her leave things this ugly if Mom really is…
"Who the fuck does she think she is to walk out of my life for the better part of a decade then come back for my sympathy now?" Piper pushes off the car. "I love you, Mal, but you're a sucker if you let her play you."
"Play me how?" I ask.
Piper shakes her head. "You think this is going to change things? That she's going to spend her last few years or months or days going to your shows and asking about your life and actually being a mother?"
Deep down, I know she's right.
But my heart is holding on to that possibility.
"Where's Ethan?" I ask.
"He took Vi home. She's more upset than he is." She looks to the restaurant door.
That's Lacey, coming down the steps.
Looking at me like I'm about to break.
Like she wants to put me back together.
Kit leans in to whisper something in Piper's ear.
She shakes her head. "No."
"Baby—"
"No!" She takes a step forward. Her heel catches on a rock but she steadies herself. "Your family is your family. Mine is mine. And I don't want to hear shit about how I'm supposed to love Mom because her time is limited. If she wants my forgiveness, she should apologize."
Lacey moves down the stairs. She moves towards me. She slides her arms around me and pulls me into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah." It feels too good being in her arms. Right now, that's wrong. No, it's always wrong.
I can't give her more.
Which means I can't take more.
It's not fair.
She pulls back and looks to Kit and Piper. "I'm sorry about your mom."
Piper purses her lips. "I'm sorry you had to be here for this. I…" She looks back to Kit with a frustrated sigh.
He looks back at her. "Piper, it's okay you're sad about this."
She sends him a death glare then she turns back to Lacey. "Do you want to go home with Mal or should I?" She clears her throat. "Obviously, that could end very differently."
Lacey's eyes meet mine. They're a plea, but for what? I only know that it's something I can't give her.
"I will." She stares back into my eyes. "Your parents are at your place?"
"Yeah."
"Let's go to mine."
"I don't know."
"I'll drive."
I just stare at her.
She reaches up to run her fingers through my hair. Her touch is soft and sweet, with every ounce of affection in the world. "It will make me feel good to take care of you."
"But I—"
She leans in to whisper. "We can do whatever you want, Mal. Sex, talking, cuddling. You can sleep on the floor and ignore me." Her fingertips press into the back of my neck. "I can't let you be alone right now."
I'm in no state to dominate her. I'm in no state to see fucking human beings.
But the look in her eyes calls me.
I want all the comfort she can give me.
It's selfish, taking it.
But right now, I don't care.
26
Mal
As soon as we get into Lacey's car, she turns on the radio. It's playing some familiar song, one I've heard a million times.
The chorus is this string of words that used to mean something.
The riff is heavy and the singer's voice is that mumble of grunge.
I know this song.
Everyone knows this song.
It's supposed to make me feel something. At the very least, it's supposed to make me feel that tiny comfort of familiarity.
But it doesn't.
The next song is worse. The notes don't even make it to my ears.
Lacey keeps most of her attention on the road. Every minute or two, she looks to me. Concern fills her brown eyes.
I catch her staring.
She forces an it's going to be okay smile.
I sink back into my seat.
It goes like that for the entire drive. Even as we park in front of her apartment complex.
She keeps her eyes on the spot in front of her. "Did you want to stop somewhere? Pick anything up?"
I shake my head.
"Are you hungry or thirsty or anything? I have a few snacks, but my selection is pretty minimal."
"No."
"Okay." She turns off the ignition and plays with her keychain. Slowly, she undoes her seat belt and gets out of the car.
I wait until her door slams shut to slide off my seat belt and step out of the car. I'm moving half speed. I don't know why. I know what's going on but not how to handle it.
This isn't how it's supposed to go.
Lacey takes my hand and leads me up the stone steps. Her palm is soft. Warm. She's not bouncy or bubbly or effervescent right now. She isn't bursting with passion the way she is when she's talking about movies or music.
I'm tempted to ask her some random question about the video. I need a taste of her enthusiasm. I need the jolt of her smile to wake up my heart and get my blood pumping through my veins.
But then I can't take the possibility that it will fail. What if she manages to muster up that enthusiasm and I still feel this lifeless?
She unlocks the door and pulls it open for me. "After you." Her voice is soft, but I can't make out any other inflection.
I step inside the apartment.
She follows, locking the door behind us.
Slowly, she wraps her arms around me.
It's more than a hug, more than an embrace. It's like she's holding me up. Like she's holding me together.
That isn't right.
I hold me together.
I can't let someone else do it.
I can't let anyone else get close enough to tear my heart out again and again.
I…
I can't do anything but pull her closer.
"You were so happy when you said your parents would be back, and now this…" She rests her head against my chest. She runs her fingers over my back, pressing the soft fabric of my shirt into my skin. "Is there anything I can do?"
"No." My voice is a whisper. It's not like me.
This whole fucking thing… it's not like me.
Lacey looks up at me. "You want a drink? I think I have some tequila somewhere. And I have tea. Chamomile might be good. It's soothing. Or… just water." She doesn't wait for a response. She breaks out of the embrace, moves to the kitchen, and pours two glasses of water.
Her hands are shaking.
Even now, I want to soothe her a million times more than I want her soothing me.
She steps out of her heels and kicks them to the corner. Her eyes follow the shoes, even as she turns and hands me the water.
It's a tiny apartment. There isn't much room for space between us, but it's still there.
No, that's how it's supposed to be. How it always is. Violet was right at dinner. I don't invite women into my life. I don't want intimacy beyond a fuck. Even tying someone up is too much a lot of the time.
But this… I don't like the space between me and Lacey.
I don't like that I don't like it.
I bring the glass to my lips and down half of it.
Lacey drinks slowly. Her eyes flit from the ground to me. "I want to help, Mal. Tell me something I can do to help. Anything."
"You are."
"Yeah?"
I nod. She is and that's nearly as terrifying as the rest of this. I down what remains of my water and set my glass on the counter.
Lacey does the same.
She places her body behind mine and wraps her arms around my waist. Her chin nudges against my upper back. "My shower is a little small, but we can make it work."
Dangerous Fling: A Rock Star Romance (Dangerous Noise Book 4) Page 20