by T. S. Joyce
“You want me to go with you?” he asked immediately, his protective instincts blaring.
“I wouldn’t,” Rowan murmured softly.
She wasn’t all smiley and supportive today. In fact, she looked about as green as Dustin right now.
“What’s wrong?” Logan asked.
“I’m disappointed.”
“About the fight at the corral?” Emma asked. “They didn’t mean to. It’s just their natures. The horses weren’t cooperating, Dustin got hurt, and then Beast wanted to kill him, but it was like…soft murder, and we fixed it. I mean, Logan and Beast beat the everlovin’ shit out of each other, but nobody died.” Emma shrugged. “So that’s good.”
“I don’t care about the fight,” Rowan said. “I care about Kane.” Her eyes had gone hard on Logan, as if he’d done something wrong. But when he opened his mouth to ask, Winter came back out of the office looking completely dazed.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. And why did he feel like Changing? She didn’t seem to be in danger, but his bear wanted to protect her from what? Dust bunnies and Dustin’s dry-heave germs? Get a grip.
Winter lifted a small stack of papers and dragged those pretty gray eyes to his. They were full of some emotion he didn’t understand. “I was invited to register with the Blackwing Crew.”
“Great!” Dustin said, hugging his trashcan to his chest. “Blackwing invites. I’ll go next.”
“No, you won’t,” Kane ground out from where he leaned on the wall at the lip of the hallway. “No more invites are being offered.”
Rowan wouldn’t meet their eyes, and neither would Winter.
“I don’t understand.” Dustin stood. “Are you inviting the A-Team then?”
“No, I’m good with one crew member at this time,” Kane said, as his eyes flashed with some deep anger at Dustin. “I know who you are.” He arced his inhumanly bright gaze to Beast. “And you.” He did the same to Emma and then to Logan. “And now I know who you are.”
“From one grainy video of a fight?” Dustin asked.
Kane’s eyes hadn’t left Logan yet, and now he had the urge to back to the door or fight. His bear was having trouble settling on one.
“Kannon Dayton,” Kane clipped out. The last name tapered into a snarl, but Logan had understood him well enough. The name felt like a fist to the stomach.
He shook his head, backed up a few steps. He didn’t understand what was happening, but he sure as fuck understood Kane was angry. With him.
Kane stalked him slowly. “Kannon Dayton, Logan. Tell me how you knew him. Fucking tell me!” he roared.
Logan flashed a look at Winter who was moving to stand between Logan and Kane. He shook his head in warning. God, he didn’t want to do this. Not in front of her. Not in front of anyone. Kannon Dayton was the reason he broke.
“My alpha gave me a job. A quiet one. There wasn’t much money involved, but he told me it was important.”
“Who hired you?” Kane gritted out.
Logan ignored the question because he hadn’t said enough to make him understand yet. “When I got out there, to this rundown cabin in the middle of nowhere, I was confused. It wasn’t how I usually did things. Kannon was alone, unregistered, and he felt like a wolf, but said he couldn’t shift.”
“Who hired you?”
“Kane, stop!” Logan held out his hand to keep the approaching dragon back. His bear was clawing at his insides now, chanting kill him, kill him, kill him.
“It’s not the kind of job I did, but Kannon was bad off. Kept talking to himself, crying, smelled sick, told me he wanted to kill anyone in his territory and had almost taken a hiker’s life. Told me he’d lost his animal, and he pleaded with me… Fuck… Kane, I don’t want to do this.”
“Who hired you?” he bellowed in Logan’s face.
Kill him, kill him. Kill him for challenging you.
Logan closed his eyes against the pain of his bear trying to force a Change. “He did.”
“What?” Kane shook his head, stumbled back a step.
“He hired me. Kannon did, but I didn’t take the money. I couldn’t. He hired me to take his life because he’d tried twice and failed, and he wanted it over with. He couldn’t Change, didn’t have the wolf, so I couldn’t kill him the way I wanted. I took his life because he fell to his knees in the dirt and clung to my jeans and begged me to.” Logan slammed his head back against the door three times to rattle the bear out of control. He didn’t even recognize his voice right now. Kill him. “And then I wasn’t okay to keep going because I took a fucking human’s life. He was basically a human, right? He smelled like a wolf, but his eyes were stuck glowing like a demon’s, and he couldn’t Change. He was empty. A shell without his animal, and I couldn’t say no. I couldn’t just leave him there like that, alone, dead inside but not on the outside.” His eyes blurred and burned. Fuck! Everything hurt. His head, his heart, every muscle as he strained not to let the monster loose in a house full of people he actually gave a shit about.
“Was it Kannon’s death that broke your bear?” Kane said, eyes narrowed with hatred.
“Yes,” Logan gritted out, clenching his fists against the urge to Change and kill everyone.
“Good. He was my friend. He was in Apex. They cut his wolf from his body like he was some fucking science experiment. He had a chance—”
“He didn’t,” Logan said. “You didn’t see him, Kane. Didn’t feel what he was like at the end. There was no recovery for him.”
“You killed my friend!” Kane barked out. “And then you had the balls to come to my territory and ask the same goddamned favor he asked of you? You want to end it, Logan? You want that quick death? You want it over with? You’ve got it.”
“No, no, no,” Winter said, pulling at Kane’s arm.
“Tomorrow night, six sharp, be here for your end, or I’ll hunt you down like the animal you are. Everyone get out.” Kane jerked out of Winter’s grasp and strode for the back door.
It slammed so hard the house rattled.
Rowan murmured low, “He really loved the people he was in Apex with. Really loved them. They’re experience bonded them in a way you or I or anyone can’t understand.” She dragged dragon-gold eyes to Logan and shook her head as twin tears spilled down her cheeks. “I don’t want this, and I wish you hadn’t asked for it. I wish you wouldn’t have come to us. I wanted you in the crew, not to be a black mark on Kane’s heart.” She dashed her hand under her cheeks quickly and made her way into the hallway, shoulders shaking in silent sobs.
A prehistoric roar shook the house so hard a trio of decorative plates fell off their wall stands and shattered on the floor.
Feeling completely numb, Logan followed the others out of the house. Kane had said yes. He was going to give Logan his wish, but now something inside of Logan wanted to flee. A pathetic part of him clung to the idea that he could change eventually, improve, and be worthy of Winter.
Winter slid her arms around his waist and sobbed against his shirt. She was getting tears everywhere. The sun was too bright, too harsh. Logan’s head was splitting in two. In the clearing beyond, Kane’s dragon stood much taller than the cabin. He stretched his gargoyle wings and lifted off the ground with powerful strokes. The wind under his wings was like a tornado, and Logan struggled to keep Winter upright. Dark Kane was a true monster—hideous and terrifying. The spikes down his back shone like weapons, and his black scales were matted and scarred as if he’d battled for centuries to survive. Long, black horns arched out of his face, and his claws were monstrous.
Kane was true to his nickname—the End of Days.
At six o’clock tomorrow, Dark Kane was going to be the end of Logan’s days.
Logan tightened his arms around Winter’s shaking shoulders as he watched the massive dragon break through the cloud layer above and disappear from sight.
Now, after working toward the end for so long, Logan suddenly wasn’t ready.
Chapter Fifteen
“
There will be no pulling Kane off this, Winter,” Ben said in a gruff voice. “Don’t yank the tail of the dragon. Live.”
Winter rested her cheek on the chain of the playground swing and swayed back and forth slowly. She’d thought Brody had broken her heart, but if Kane killed Logan, something inside of her said she would never be okay again.
“Ben, I care for him.” Her voice came out tear-soaked and pathetic, but she was past caring right now.
“Winter, I know. I can tell, but you don’t want a war with the End of Days. Trust me. I was in Apex for eight months with him. He was a friend, but one of the few people who ever really scared me. Not the human parts of him. The Blackwing Dragon parts. He’s giving Logan what he asked for. He’s giving him what he wants.”
“But it’s not what I want!”
“That’s right, so I think we need to revisit that because I remember sitting down with you while we were drying you out, while you were detoxing and so sick and we didn’t know if you were even going to make it. And I asked you what you wanted because I thought it would give you a reason to stay in this world, and do you remember what you said?”
Winter sniffed. “That I wanted a family who wanted me back. A family who stayed.”
“Exactly. You pick the wrong people, Winter. You can see they’re not right for you, deep down you can tell, but you cling to them anyway.”
“You think Logan is a bad bet?”
“I think you’ve seen a different side of Logan than the rest of the world has seen. And I applaud you for trying to see the best in everyone. But I knew about Logan Furrow long before he went to Kane. I’d heard about him. An assassin for hire who had been trained to feel nothing. He was the back-up plan for every alpha who accepted problem shifters. He’s famous for his skillset, but that skill is killing.”
“Killing killers, Ben. Killing shifters who can’t be saved and are murdering humans to fill some dark need. There’s a difference between a serial killer and a man who was the arm of hard justice for our people. I thought you, of all people, would understand. You went through the shit, Ben. You lost your panther for years, lost your brother in Apex, lost your friends there, and you spiraled. I know that’s why you picked me up and pushed me where I needed to be. You saw yourself in me. I see that in Logan. He’s savable.” She dragged in a long, shaking breath. “He’s mine to save, do you understand?”
“Winter, maybe you should come home.”
Warm tears streaked her cheeks. She shook her head. “Ben, he is home, and he’s about to be annihilated by the dark dragon. I’ll never have a home again.”
She hung up the phone in a rush and dropped it in the grass. She couldn’t take another second of him trying to convince her she was better off without the incredible feeling of safety Logan gave her.
He’d promised her day by day, and now the choice was being taken away from both of them. And what could she do? She’d asked Ben to talk to Kane, but he’d refused to get on the wrong side of the dragon. And who was she? A submissive panther in a world of fire-breathers.
“You gonna join the crew?” Logan asked from right behind her.
Winter startled hard, gasping.
“Shhh,” he said, trailing his fingers down the back of her bare neck. His eyes were the silver color of a minnow in the sun, and they were full of bottomless sorrow. Slowly, he drew the chains of the swing back, then released her and pushed her gently on her lower back.
Winter rested her cheek on the chain again and sighed, helped by kicking her legs. “I don’t want you to go.”
“Running won’t do me any good. I did my research on Kane before I came here. He’s ex special forces, survived God knows what on an elite team of shifters, and that was when he didn’t even have his dragon. He has surveillance capabilities you wouldn’t believe. In a matter of days, he found out about a kill that no one knew about but me and my old alpha. I wouldn’t be able to crawl out from my rock for a single second for the rest of my life. That’s a long time to live without making a mistake, and what kind of life would that be anyway? It wouldn’t give me you.”
“I could hide with you.”
Logan huffed a breath. “Beauty,” he murmured. “That’s what you gave my life at the end, and I can’t repay that gift by putting you in Kane’s line of fire. The best way for me to protect you is to let you go.”
Winter bit her lip hard so the sobbing sounds that crawled up the back of her throat wouldn’t escape. “No,” she whispered. “I can’t join the Blackwing Crew.”
“Why not?”
“You mean besides the fact the alpha is about to take the life of the man I love?”
“Don’t say that. Don’t talk about love, or it makes this harder.”
“You’re giving up. I didn’t take you for a quitter.”
“I quit a long time ago,” Logan gritted out. He stopped pushing her and paced away like he would walk back up the street to the hotel. Running his hands through his hair, he circled back. “I hurt you. I hurt everyone who gets close. That’s what I am, Winter. You just aren’t seeing me for what I am. Kane’s doing a good thing. For the wrong reasons maybe, but this is what I’ve been asking for. I spent years trying to end it, and he’s going to do it so I can go down fighting. I wish…”
“Say it.”
A long snarl rattled his chest. “I wish I would’ve never met you so this could hurt less.”
His words stole her breath away. Such poignant pain slashed through her heart that she nearly doubled over. “Take it back.”
Logan shook his head for a long time, churning silver eyes locked on hers.
Winter stood and rushed him, shoved him hard in the chest so he felt the hurt that she did. “Take it back!”
“It would’ve been better for both of us if—”
Winter slammed her fists down against his chest. He didn’t move, and it made her angrier so she did it again. Still no reaction, so she went to town beating on his torso, pushing him, sobbing until he slid his arms around her and pulled her against him. She struggled, but his body was a fortress. Sagging against him, Winter cried until the tears wouldn’t come anymore.
And when she was spent, he folded her into his arms and strode back toward the motel. His cheeks were damp, too, so she knew he felt this. Knew he hadn’t meant it, knew he was just trying to find a way to leave this world easier. But nothing inside her wanted to make this easy on him. She wanted to make it hard enough that he would come up with a way to save himself. Come up with a way to save her.
He didn’t slow until he reached her room, 1010. He shoved open the door and dumped her on the bed, followed her down, and then his lips were on hers before the door even clicked closed. This kiss was fire. It was heat and desire, urgency and goodbye. Goodbye. She closed her eyes tight against the reality because it was too much. Winter slid her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, pushed her tongue past his lips and held on as he rolled her on top of him. His fingers shook as he tugged at her shirt, so she held his hands for a moment to steady him.
“It’s okay to feel,” she whispered. She didn’t know why she said that, only that he needed to hear it. “Fuck the rest of the world, Logan. You can feel with me. I’ll keep you safe.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed in his muscular throat as he swallowed hard. And then he cupped her neck and eased her to him gently. His lips were soft and steady. He didn’t push his tongue in her mouth or suck her bottom lip. He just lay there under her, connected and frozen in this beautiful moment she wanted to stretch on forever and ever.
When he reached for her shirt again, his hands weren’t shaking any longer, and the fire in his eyes had dimmed. Now he looked at her—really looked at her as he pushed her shirt upward and over her head. He unsnapped her bra and slid the straps down her arms slowly. Hooking a finger between the cups, he eased it off and sat up, pulled her to him, hand on her lower back.
When she arched upward, he drew one of her nipples into his mouth. There was no biting this ti
me, only gentle, rhythmic sucking until she was rolling her hips with the pace he set. And then he moved to her other breast and gave it the same attention.
Needing to touch his skin, Winter pulled off his shirt and ran her hands down his chest. Logan stood, settled her feet on the floor, and then pushed her jeans down her legs, kneeling with them. He was unrushed, careful to put a steadying hand on her hip as he removed each shoe and sock, and then her jeans away from her ankles.
He kissed her stomach tenderly. Winter ran her fingers through his hair, angling his face up to hers. “You should say it once before you go.”
“It’ll make it harder on you.”
“It’ll make it harder if you leave me without saying it.”
Logan buried his face against her stomach, hugged her tightly, there on his knees as though worshipping her. For a second, she didn’t know if she could be strong enough to hear it. He felt it, though. She could tell by the way he looked at her, by the tears that had wet his cheeks earlier.
With a sigh, Logan tipped his chin up and trapped her in his gaze. “I love you, Winter Donovan. I take it back. I’m glad I met you. You were the best part of my life.”
Her eyes burned again, but he didn’t give her a chance to lose it. He stood, cupped her cheeks, and eased her backward, step by careful step toward the wall as he kissed her. It felt like dancing—another thing they would never get the chance to do.
When her back hit the wall, Logan slipped his tongue into her mouth, pressed his body along hers. His skin felt so good, as if he was made to hold her just like this.
This right here, in his arms, was her happy place.
Logan eased her panties down until they fell to her ankles. He unbuttoned his jeans and then kicked out of them as he continued kissing her soft, like saying I love you again but without words. He pulled the back of her knee up and settled her leg around him as he slid into her.
“Ooooh,” she groaned as he filled her slowly.
There was no scent of fur, no snarl in his chest, no weight of dominance pressing against her shoulders. There was only her and Logan, as if his bear had curled up deep inside him to give them this—their last night.