Kimberly felt the other’s gaze, but kept her eyes locked upon the ceiling above, shaking her head slowly from side to side. “No, Hyun, just like you, I have absolutely no clue. I was just taking a stroll through the mall with a very cool guy, who wasn’t a drug addict or an alcoholic, who would never hit me or hurt me, and all I could do was watch him disappear right before my eyes. There was nothing I could do about it. We reach out for each other and our hands met. I held onto him so tightly, so different from the way I like to hold hands. I looked into his astonished eyes as he began to fade. With every beat of my heart, he became less real, more like mist. Until the third blast of sound came, I couldn’t hold onto him any longer. I had to throw-up so bad. I let go. When I finished, I looked for him, but he was gone. I think I fell to the floor then, crying, all crumpled up with pain in my stomach until I blacked out.
“I woke-up just like you guys, still here in the mall, but nowhere near home, nowhere near Shawn.” Kimberly hadn’t noticed the tears were streaming down her face as she spoke, her nose running. Her chest heaving now and again as the key unlocking those innermost memories turned.
Next to her, Hyun sat more erect, staring at her intently, grimacing at the anguish she was going through, but was unsure how to react. At one time, she would’ve known what to do. At one time, Kimberly would’ve been in her arms balling her eyes out, but not anymore, no way, too much had changed between them.
In a hoarse whisper, Kimberly heard Hyun muttered a tentative question. “When are you going to tell me what happened to you? Between us? When, Kimberly?”
Kimberly didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer, not now, not here, with Derek so close and everything else around them so fucked up. She sniffled and let the tears flow quietly.
After a time, Hyun got up, obviously angry with her. She stalked out of the store, uttering nasty things under her breath.
I will tell you, my old friend, just not now… but I promise… I will…
She cried with hushed sobs for some time thereafter.
A sleeping Derek never had a clue.
…Someday… I will tell you…
~~~~~~~~<<<<<<{ ☼ }>>>>>>~~~~~~~~
~ 68 ~
Old Friends, New Friends
Day Two, Friday, 7:59 pm…
Jason Fong lounged at one end of the makeshift bedding Kenai had gathered for them over the course of her long, lonely stay within the Melded World. He stared across at his longtime friend, who sat mirroring him, lying across the furniture pads, speaking hushed tones. The subject they had broached was of the up close and personal sort. Jason could tell his friend wanted to keep some of his innermost thoughts just between them for the time being. At least until he got to know the others a little better, could trust them with the central workings of his mind. Jason was listening, his attention one-hundred-percent riveted to the other boys’ words, struggling to comprehend their meaning. He lay there frowning at some of the unexpected tidbits ebbing from between Joaquin’s lips.
“…really, I didn’t have all that much time with her, you know. After our date last Sunday, which seems like a million years ago, there just wasn’t enough time,” Joaquin’s was saying, picking at the heavy blanket before him. He shook his head from side to side, slowly. “Just two dates, three days of hanging out at school, and five or six phone calls was all I was able to have with her… before all of this,” he began again, looking about the cave. His eyes were moist. She’d meant something to him. Moreso, than Jason had ever remembered seeing when he spoke of a girl. “It doesn’t seem fair, Jay. The more I think about it, it just doesn’t seem fair.”
Jason watched his best friend swallow hard and a dubious quiet stretched. He could only stare back at him, too shocked to do more than gape.
About them, the rest of their companions had clumped into small groups at various points about the cave. They had eaten dinner and changed back into their newly cleaned - and dry - clothing. Now, it was the towels that hung from the clothesline Anthony and Andrew had strung about the stalactites.
Elena and Mikalah had taken up with Louis. They were playing toward the back of the cave, near the large woodpile. They were stacking logs of indeterminate sizes, building some sort of structure they were excited about, talking and commenting with varying pitch as they went about whatever it was they were doing.
Sophie, Anthony and Andrew sat near the fire, conversing, smiling now and again, while they all took turns stoking the fire. The goal was to keep it from weakening, insuring its’ much needed warmth continued spread throughout their meager living space.
Mugzy and Mr. Patas had positioned themselves nearer the smaller children, occasionally making a comment, nodding in agreement, as they watched the youngest of their group at play.
Garfield had moved, since they’d all eaten. He was curled up asleep, his body positioned in between the fire and the entrance. Even at leisure, Garfield was defending them, should anyone, or anything, breach the portal, he would be the first to hear it and the first to retaliate.
Meanwhile, the bear-dogs sat on all fours, facing each other, talking near where they had left the shopping carts, obviously catching up on lost time, reacquainting themselves after such a prolonged separation.
Jason continued to stare at his friend, even when the other boy looked up from the furniture pad and into his eyes. He wasn’t entirely sure of how he would respond to the others comments.
“Does it kinda wig you out that I’m talking about Clarisse like this, Jay? Is that why you’re looking at me like a deer in the headlights right now?” asked Joaquin, saving him momentarily from trying to understand what he’d been talking about before.
This was terra-firma by comparison.
“No, man, I told you. I’m over her,” replied Jason, exhaling forcibly. “The girl I had liked, or I thought I liked, was more of a figment from a time I hardly think about anymore. To me, she’s like a character in a book, frozen in time and not really the same person you went out with or talked with on the phone. The girl you are talking about now, I don’t know, let alone understand.”
“Cool, just making sure, because some of the things I feel for her run sorta deep and I really don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything. I would hate for something like a girl to come between us, especially now… when we kinda need each other,” explained his friend, the deep rumble of a chortle resounding in his wide chest.
“Dude, I would never let a skirt get between us, bro, you know that,” admonished Jason adamantly.
Hadn’t it always been that way?
“I have to make sure, Jay. I have too. Though you ignored the girl, after she dumped you, you pined after her for quite a while. It sort of pissed me off after a while. It dragged on for so long. You remember, right?” Joaquin resumed picking at the thick material he was laying upon.
Jason let out a semi-exasperated sigh and looked away. “Yeah, I remember…” He fell silent for a second or two. An old memory popped into his head and he sat up a little higher, a smile spreading across his face. “Dude, do you remember when you set me up with that loon Lena Mendez? I think that was your pathetic attempt to get my mind off Clarisse. You remember, right?”
Joaquin laughed aloud, his head tilting back toward the ceiling, his mouth open wide as he bounced up and down. “What a FUBAR, in the exact meaning of the phrase! How long had the date lasted?”
Jason paused to consider the question. “I think about an hour, maybe less, that was all I could stand.” Jason ran his hand through his hair. It was no longer standing on end, the fashion he normally styled it. He had let it dry out naturally, since they hadn’t thought to gather hair products at the supermarket when they had the chance. So, it poked up from his head in a myriad of directions, giving him the purposely disheveled look that had come into popularity of the past few years, only it hadn’t been by choice. “All she kept talking about was her ex-boyfriend and how he had messed up on her with this girl and that girl, and how he’d hit up on on
e of her cousins at a family party or something. She kept going on and on and on about how much she’d sacrificed for the dude, how much she took care of him, how much she had tried to make him happy.
“After twenty minutes of the same crap, it was agony having to sit across the table from her and listen as she literally told the story of how she shredded every ounce of dignity and self-respect for this guy.”
Joaquin was chuckling again.
“Dude, I felt like those people on the movie Airplane . You know, the passengers who kept hanging themselves or setting themselves on fire every time the navy pilot guy told his life story! I literally wanted to set myself on fire too, man, the way she kept talking about her old homeboy…”
“Man, Jay, I am sooo sorry for doing that to you. Really, I am, but, Sandra -, you remember her, right? She was the girl from that beach party a few summers back, the one I had talked to for a while.” Jason nodded. “Anyway she kept telling me how much her friend, Lena, needed to get out and get her mind off her ex-boyfriend. We both thought you guys kinda needed each other, you know. Both of you were hung up in the past. I mean, I thought it was perfect,” outlined Joaquin through gurgling fits of laughter.
“Prefect my ass… perfectly horrible you mean. I think by the time we finished eating she was on the verge of tears and I’d had enough, bro. I was done with her. We didn’t even talk about ourselves or get a chance to get to know one another. It was all about her and her ex-boyfriend, whatever his name was. It was a total waste of time, and, not to sound like a douche, but money too.” The strain in his voice emphasized his frustration with the whole incident.
Joaquin’s brow furled with curiosity. “Where did you take her by the way?”
“Dude, I took her to the Nightwatch.”
Joaquin shook his head, even more sorrowful than before. “Ah, man, that’s the place up by Avenue 64 and Colorado, right?”
“Yup.”
“Damn, Jay, that place is nice, but, shit, it can be expensive too.” Joaquin’s face looked pained for a moment, but the hilarity of the event was too strong and eventually his expression reformed as the absurdity of Lena’s behavior resurfaced. He couldn’t help but smile once again.
“Tell me about it,” mumbled Jason.
“Did you take her home after you guys ate?”
“Hell yeah, I told myself ‘fuck dessert, we are outta of here’. I asked for the check when I was like two-thirds finished with my dinner and was headed for the door when she finished her last bite. I couldn’t stand another minute of ‘oh, he was nice at first and caring, and… man, was he ever a good kisser. I really fell hard for him’. Blah, blah, blah! I was done, like I said. I drove her straight home, dropped her off and vowed to myself I was going to kick the shit out of you when I saw you next.”
Joaquin laughed again.
“I did, man. I was pissed!”
“I can imagine. Well, for what it’s worth, I am sorry,” Joaquin said apologetically.
It was sincere and genuine enough that he accepted the apology, though Joaquin’s grin made him grimace. Whatever. “It was a long time ago, so don’t sweat it,” he responded with a dismissive wave of his hand.
Once more, the silence returned as each of them mulled over the past.
“So,” began Jason, shattering the others’ thoughts, “how are you going to deal with your feelings for Clarisse?”
Joaquin lay down on his back, letting his arms spread wide upon the bed of leaves and twigs, bushy brambles and tufts of moss. His eyes searched the uneven rock above him. “I don’t know actually, being totally honest. I miss her, there’s no denying that. I liked the way she talked to me, the way she said my name and how her eyes would twinkle mischievously when she did so. She was always so easygoing and so non-judgmental about everything around her. She could just sit back, be herself, and not feel like she had to put up some kind of front to shield herself from what she really was. That was refreshing for me. It was cool. She was cool.” He stopped to breathe in and out, measuring the movement in his chest as if he were attempting to control himself. “She was unafraid of me, you know, like she really trusted me. I don’t usually get that from girls, because I’m so… you know, big. They usually kinda shy away for a time until they get to know me, realize I’m not gonna bum-rush them or anything.
“Clarisse was never like that. In fact, she made the first move. She just turned around… and kissed me… it was… was…” He turned his head to look Jason in the eyes. This time there was no doubting the tears he saw in his friend’s orbs.
“Do you think you’re in love with her?” asked Jason, his tone half-laced with outrage and half-laced with awe.
Jason watched as Joaquin moved his head, looking once again at the ceiling. He was able to guess at the answer when a tear trickled down the side of his friends face and onto the blanket.
Holy Freakin’ Shit!
“I think if we’d had more time, she could’ve been the one. What I was beginning to feel was more intense than anything I’d ever felt for a girl. At the same time, though, it was comforting and warm. All of it together would’ve rendered me helpless with time. Yeah, I think I would’ve fallen in love with her. She would’ve captured my heart and held it hostage. I would’ve been very willing to give it to her, if she’d give hers to me…”
It was the most honest thing Joaquin had ever said to him. Jason, honored the other felt confident enough about their relationship to share it with him, felt a lump rise in his own throat.
“I think you are lucky, Joaquin,” he said after settling himself down.
“Why?” asked the other boy, even though Jason couldn’t see his face directly. He knew his friend was scowling deeply.
“Because, man, I’ve never felt that strongly about another person. I can only imagine at what it must feel like to know you can love… I mean truly.”
“It’s a two way street, my friend. It feels great and it hurts like a son of a bitch too. I’m not just Joaquin Barrientos anymore, just as you aren’t Jason Fong either,” quantified Joaquin through a tired expression.
“Do you think our Gifts, our responsibilities will make too much of a difference to ever go back to being just Jason and Joaquin? Say after all of this shit is done, say we make it back home. Do you think you’ll try and make a life with her?” queried Jason, not liking his friends’ train of thought.
“It makes too much of a difference, Jay,” began the large teen, his voice woefully sad. “Because, I have this nagging sensation that in order for us to get, ‘all of this shit done’, the process of doing so will extract a tremendous toll on each and every one of us, even the ones we have yet to find.”
“You think being a Guardian of the World of Man will change us that much?”
“Yes. One way or another, it will. I can only see huge change in store for us. There is nothing else, but change on the horizon, especially if we fail…” The volume of his voice disappeared to nothing.
We die, thought Jason, chewing on the notion for a while, then he realized to whom he was speaking. He sat up, gazing over at his friend with serious eyes. “What is it you know that you haven’t told the rest of us?”
“Something I cannot explain at the moment,” was all Joaquin would say. His tone echoed with the sort of finality Jason knew he couldn’t squeak around.
“Why?” he probed out of habit.
“Because, bud, the time isn’t right for me to reveal it, not yet, at least,” he mumbled. “There’s a lot of planning we have to do, in advance, before such knowledge can be disseminated to the others,” his attempt at clarification, then added as an afterthought, “They aren’t ready.”
Jason felt his eyebrows come together in consternation, trying to digest the logic he clearly didn’t think was sound. It seemed wrong to him. His eyes automatically scanned over their companions, trying to gauge Joaquin’s assessment of them, though he knew there was no way he could. Besides, Joaquin possessed the Gift of Knowledge, he had a clear
advantage over the rest of them. He could see things the rest of them simply couldn’t. How could Jason tell if they were ready or not? He didn’t even have a clue what they had to ready for in the first place. Still, it felt wrong for his friend to withhold information, especially in a time like this when knowledge was just about the only thing keeping them alive. In a life or death situation, it might well prove the only advantage available.
“What makes you think they’re not ready,” Jason prodded again. He wasn’t going to let this lie easily.
“You all are not ready, Jay, every one of you,” stated Joaquin as a matter of fact, his tone level and devoid of emotion.
Jason’s frowned deepened, but he didn’t turn his head toward his friend, opting to continue to watch the others, clearly disliking the idea he too was bunched with the others.
“Too much has happened in such a short amount of time, complete disclosure might be the straw that broke the camel’s back… as the old saying goes.” Joaquin went abruptly silent, as if someone had turned down an invisible volume knob stuck to the back of his neck or something.
“But, you will tell us when the time is right, won’t you?” Jason wanted at least something promised before he let the subject drop.
“Some of you, yes,” was the other’s startling retort.
Jason grunted and did twist his head back to gaze upon Joaquin. “You think this is the wise thing to do? I mean with all of this crap going on around us, is this the prudent option?”
He replied almost at once, a slight edge to his tone. “It might very well be the only course of action available to us. I don’t know enough myself to make a valid determination, too many variables, too much of it is surrounded by the unknown. My Gift only works in the present. At times, that aspect really limits my usefulness.”
The Unwanted Winter - Volume One of the Saga of the Twelves Page 61