"So, what can I get you off this baby? A leg? I hope it tastes as good as it looks," Kathy continued without waiting for me to respond. "What should I do? I've never carved a turkey before. Should I get someone up here to do it?"
"What do you mean you hope it tastes as good as it looks?" I asked, not sure which of the questions I should respond to first. "You have never tasted the turkey from your hotel before?"
"No. I always had Thanksgiving dinner with my family. This is my first time not being with them."
"What's your reason again?" I asked as I got up from the chair and reached for the carving knife to get a few slices off the breast for us.
"The whole thing with the trial and the pity faces, the questions, the jokes, the comments. I just didn't want to face that today with everybody."
"I see," I replied as I placed a thin slice on her plate.
"Thank you," she said and opened the lids of all the silver warmers to reveal mouth-watering dishes that I should be so excited to delve into, however, I was more interested in the woman across from me.
"This is amazing," I said as I chewed on a piece of the turkey.
"I think so too. It would have been really embarrassing if I hauled you here to have Thanksgiving turkey that sucked."
"It would," I laughed.
"So, tell me what happened at your grandmother's. Why did you have to leave?"
I realized that I have to talk about it and it was very depressing for me, but I knew she was saving the questions for the appropriate moment, and I guessed that moment was when I was enjoying my meal.
"My parents were just all over me about not calling to say whether or not I was on the flight and how long it would be…"
"Why didn't you?"
"I was...I didn't expect to see you on the plane and it threw me off…"
"So I'm responsible for messing up your dinner with Grandma?" she asked but didn't really seem sorry.
"No. My boss is."
"What do you do?"
"I'm the head of human resources for a manufacturing company," I told her. "My boss called an emergency meeting, and I had to be there because the emergency was within my department."
"Did you explain to your parents?"
"Yes, but they weren't the ones who threw me out; my grandmother did. I didn't get a chance to explain because she walked into the living room just as I was telling my mother how stupid the Thanksgiving dinner was."
"What?" she asked, her mouth freezing mid-chew.
"I didn't mean it, of course. I was just explaining to my annoying parents that I had no choice but to be there for the meeting because the job is how I provide for myself, therefore, it takes priority over the dinner."
"But you didn't use those words."
"I threw in the word stupid... and a lot angrier."
"Oh boy," she said and put roasted asparagus into her mouth before asking. "Will she forgive you?"
"I hope so. I think she was just embarrassed because she made such a big deal about me coming, then I referred to the dinner in that way. This has been in our family for generations so I know how much it means to her. Besides, I'm her favorite. I'm so…," I stopped as a knot climbed up to my throat at the thought of hurting my grandmother so badly.
"It's OK," Kathy said. "She will forgive you, especially when she has time to think and realize that your parents got you riled up."
"You think so?"
"Absolutely," she said reassuringly and I believed her. I just wished my grandmother's had the Thanksgiving Day she deserved.
Chapter 5
We were able to enjoy the rest of our meal without too many questions and answers, but I knew it was temporary and more would be coming once dinner was over. I was right. Kathy called to have the table cleared and the uneaten food taken away. As soon as she poured us a glass of champagne and we sat on the plush sofa of her living room, the questions started again.
"River Callaway," she said as if she was verbally reminding herself of my name. "Tell me, if you had gone home instead of coming here with me, who would you have dinner with?"
"Myself. Or I would be too sad to eat," I said and took a sip of the dry liquid.
"No romantic partners?" she asked.
"I have never heard that question before. People usually ask if there is a guy, if I have a boyfriend... something like that. The only reason why you would frame your question like that is because you want to know if I have a girlfriend as well. Which basically tells me you are gay," I said staring her down in a challenge to deny it.
"You get that from me asking if you have a romantic partner?"
"Yes, I did. Do you deny it?"
"Yes. I used the word 'partner' to cover both sexes…"
"Why not ask if I have a boyfriend?"
"Because you might have a girlfriend," she said, and I could not read her blank expression.
"But straight people don't say both. They start with boyfriend."
"Then I guess I'm gay."
"You guess?" I asked.
"I am," she said then sat up. "Now, do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?"
"I have."
"A boyfriend or a girlfriend?"
"Both."
"You’re such a liar!" she laughed out, and I joined her.
"Just kidding," I said. "I ended a relationship eight months ago."
"Why?"
"I found out that while I was locked away at your trial, he was cheating with his ex."
"Oh my God," she sighed. "See? This is the reason I rather stay alone. I can't take it."
"So you’re saying you have no one at the moment?"
"Haven't had one since I was arrested. My girlfriend ran for the hills."
"I'm sorry," was all I could say.
"No. It was a very superficial relationship so it couldn't withstand the pressure."
"And you haven't dated since?"
"I was too scared to date anyone because I didn't want to be rejected if they were to find out about the case," she said and looked down in her glass.
"You were acquitted."
"Doesn't matter. I'm conscious of it," she said then continued. "What are you looking for in a relationship?"
"Ahm...I've never thought of it," I replied and started to think. "Someone who loves and respects me, someone who is faithful, kind…"
"What about children?" she interrupted me, and that seemed to be most important to her.
"I would love to have children...maybe two," I said and her face lit up.
I was starting to feel very uncomfortable like I was being recruited to be the mother of her children. I needed a moment to myself so that I could think about what the hell was happening to me. I mean time was running out, and if Kathy wanted a partner and kids, and she would want that with me, then that would be a good thing, right? But she was a woman. How could I present her to my family? What would happen if they were to find out that she was the one on trial? Were we even allowed to be together? I was so confused.
"Hey," she said and rested her hand on my leg. "Are you alright?"
Her hand burned my skin and my walls contracted. Never in my life had I been attracted to a woman, but something was happening with Kathy Poland. I was so turned on and if she made her move right now, I would be hers to keep.
"I...I ah...I'm very tired. I would love to take a shower and get out of these clothes."
"Of course!" she replied, getting to her feet. "There’s a guest room with a bathroom...but you could use mine. It's bigger and has a Jacuzzi and…"
"No...the guest bathroom would be fine. What time is it?" I asked instead of looking at the watch on my wrist.
"It's now eight p.m. Please don't tell me you are going to bed after you shower. I would love for us to watch a movie," she begged with pouty lips.
"Sure...I'll watch a...what are you doing?" I said, getting to my feet.
"What am I doing?"
"Are you...why did you keep looking at me in the courthouse?" I asked, not hiding the fru
stration and confusion that came over me.
"You need to calm down, River. Go shower and we can talk afterward. You’re getting upset, and I don't understand why," she said and took my bag that was left at the doorway and pulled it in the direction of the guest room.
"You don't understand why?"
"I don't understand why you are getting upset," she said calmly.
"I’m not upset, but I also don't want to pretend that I have no clue what's going on here."
"What's going on, River?"
"So you are going to pretend that you don't know?"
"I don't know what you know, but I know that you standing here in my hotel suite is not a coincidence. You may not have all the pieces to put this whole thing together, River; at least, not as much as I do."
"Then tell me," I said, my voice coming down to a soft whisper.
"I sat in a courtroom with the possibility of going to prison. You have no idea what that's like unless you have been in that situation. You may have some idea, but you can’t fully understand the depth of fear when you know you are innocent but not sure if the jurors would see that. Do you know what kept me going? What stopped me from fainting in that room as the prosecutor painted me as a monster? You."
"How...how did I do that?" I asked as my hands began to shake.
"I looked at all of you sitting there and wondered who would make the decision to send me to prison, but my eyes could not focus on the others because they kept going back to you," she said and sighed. "I wondered about you. Who you were, and if you had a family. I wondered who your friends were and what kind of job you had. I wondered if you were a strict mother and if your parents were more caring and loving than mine. You were so beautiful and looked so intelligent like you didn't belong there. I wondered what you thought when you were selected. There was nothing I didn't think about, including if you thought I was guilty."
"Did you believe I thought that?"
"No," she replied and started to cry. "I felt in my heart that you would save me. I felt like I knew you, and I was depending on you to not send me to prison. You were my only hope and the only thing that got me through. I was able to block out most of what was happening in the courtroom because I was focused on you."
"Why did you keep looking away every time I made eye contact?"
"Because I didn't want you to think I was creepy or anything...and I was also ashamed that you were seeing me so broken and desperate," she said and hung her head the way she did in court. "Despite my fear, I eagerly made my way to court because I wanted to see you. I wanted to continue to pretend...to imagine that you knew me and you would protect me from all that was happening in there. When it was over and I was acquitted, I was still lost in my imagination that you made it happen. I left the courtroom feeling happy and free, but so sad that I would never see you again…"
"Then this morning happened," I added.
"What are the odds of that?" she asked between cries and laughter. "You were sitting right there beside me in first class."
"A place I would never be if my boss hadn't booked it."
"Even that adds to the mystery. Riv, for one whole year I thought about the woman who got me through such a difficult time without having any idea what she did for me by just being there among the twelve. I thought of you, but did not expect to see you again. The first time I missed my family Thanksgiving dinner, and the first time you were late for yours, was to bring us to this moment. When I saw you sitting next to me on the plane, I knew. I knew it was fate, Riv. Your grandmother chased you away, and I had to come and get you because no cab was available," she said. "You can deny it...or fight it if you want, but I'm letting you know that I see and I believe that we were meant to be in each other's lives."
"Yes...that maybe so, but not necessarily...as lovers," I fought back.
"So you're telling me that you are not the least bit attracted to me?"
"I...I never...I don't…"
"That's what I thought. Enjoy your shower and you can join me for a movie if you want," Kathy said and was out of the room, leaving me standing with my head spinning from all that she had said.
After a moment, I took a deep breath and walked around the guest room, pulling my bag with me. My phone had been going non-stop, and I knew that my family was trying to find out where I was. As I looked around the exquisitely decorated bedroom, I wondered if I should return their calls, but too much had been happening to deal with more headaches. I would contact them as soon as I got out of the shower, providing the water was able to settle me a bit.
I walked into the bathroom and wondered what hers looked like, if this one was so spectacular. After looking around for a while, I locked the door, got undressed and stepped into the shower. I looked around for the faucet to turn the water on, but there was none. There were buttons, but I could not understand which would do what. I took a chance and pressed one and cold water came down on me. I screamed out and tried to find out how to make it hotter but the jets of freezing cold water was making it impossible. I hurried out of the shower, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around me as cold water dripped from my hair. I exited the bathroom to ask Kathy for help.
"Kathy! Kat!"
"Yes! What's wrong?" She asked and sounded like she was making her way to me.
"I need help!"
"Coming!"
She ran out of the room with a worried look on her face then burst out laughing when she saw me.
"It's not funny. You gave me the killer shower."
"I'm sorry. I forgot to show you how to turn it on."
"It is on…"
"Oh my God...everywhere is wet. What happened to you," she laughed.
"Ice-cold water came out of the shower onto my head."
"Sorry," she said and demonstrated how to select the temperature. "You might want to do this before you get in next time."
"Next time?" I asked because she said it so naturally and nonchalantly that I had to know more about what is going on in her head.
"What?" she asked, pretending not to know what I was talking about.
"What do you mean ‘next time’? I expect to be at the airport first thing in the morning."
The smile left her face and she looked me over. I expected her to respond, and she started to, but she seemed to have gotten distracted because her eyes were betraying her. I held my towel tighter as I suddenly felt exposed. The water droplets were still on my shoulders and my wet blonde hair was curled on the side of my face. I could tell that she wanted me, and the pressure between my legs told me that my body wanted her too. I slowly squeezed my legs together, hoping she would not notice how badly she was affecting me. I wished I wasn't such a cautious person and I could just drag her into the shower with me.
She licked and bit her lower lip then her eyes found mine. I could see a hint of smile playing at the corners of her mouth as she knew she got me. She knew that it was impossible to walk away from this and put her at the back of my mind. To her...why was I delaying the inevitable?
"I thought you would want to stay a couple of days...you know...hang out...do stuff together," she said.
"Because, unlike you, I have a job. I don't get money pumped into my bank account unless I work," I said harshly to redirect my focus from the throbbing between my legs.
"Being mean seems to be your signature move. Anyway, enjoy your shower," she said and turned around and left.
I stepped into the shower that was at the perfect temperature. I closed my eyes and went under as I tried to wash away the confusion in my mind. How did this happen? This was just day one, and I felt like Kathy and I knew each other for months...well I knew her for a year...not personally, but I knew of her. It felt like she walked out of the courtroom, then I picked her up and drove her home, and she had been in my life ever since.
It would be impossible to sleep in the next room with her a few steps away. I wished I was attracted to her, and she had no idea. I wished she hadn't made that speech earlier that made perfect sens
e to me. We were not together by coincidence. We were meant to be together, so why run away from it now, only to find myself in her arms at a later date? I knew this was just sex talking. I had not made love to anyone in a long time, so the idea that Kathy wanted to fuck me was throwing me off balance and I could not think straight. If I just touch myself and...if I could just make myself cum, then I would be more clear-headed.
I put my fingers between my legs and slowly caressed my clit. The feeling of my soft flesh slipping through my fingers sent shivers throughout my body. I brought my free hand to my breasts, and my nipples were so sensitive that a slight moan left my lips. I opened my eyes to get soap so that I could get some lather on my breasts...oh my God!
"Kat!"
I was stunned frozen. She was just standing there looking at me motionless. I did not hear her come in over the sound of the water, and my eyes were closed as I caressed myself. I impulsively wrapped one hand across my breasts and the other between my legs as I hid them from her view, but it seemed as if she was able to see through them. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out, and I did not have the natural reaction that most people would and chase her out of the bathroom.
"Kat…," I said but not sure if she could hear me over the sound of the water.
"I'm...I'm s-sorry. I came to show you the shampoo dispenser...I didn't…"
I was happy that she didn't continue because I was sure she was going to say that she didn't expect to see me masturbating. She seemed very shy and very embarrassed that she walked in on me, but the longer she stood there, the more my embarrassment wore away. I opened the shower door and held out my hand to her, and she hesitantly walked over to me. Kathy took my wet hand and was using all her strength to not look at my naked body. I smiled at her reassuringly and leaned against the frame of the shower door.
"That was all your fault," I said to her and she smiled, relieved that I was not mad at her.
The Juror Page 5