“Baby, you’re alive! I thought I’d lost you, too.” My father clung to the fencing.
The words “lost you too” stung me so quickly that worry for where I was headed faded, and the memories of my mother reappeared.
I eyed a bandage around his bicep. “Are you hurt?”
“No. No, little girl. Are you?”
I lied too. “No. I’m okay.”
I tried to get closer to my father, but the young man stopped me. “Sorry, we’re here.” He gestured for me to enter a big white tent.
My father lurched to the fence. “No! Please don’t take her in there!”
He must’ve seen what went in and how they came out.
The young man looked around then quietly said, “Only blood work, Everett. Please stop drawing attention to yourself.”
Knowing I was about to disappear again, my father frantically asked, “Where’s Romy?”
“A cage next to mine. They’re letting me stay with him at night for warmth.”
My father’s shoulders sagged in relief. He looked at me with his heart exposed. “I’m glad you have him. He loves you.” As I was taken into the tent, he yelled, “I’m not mad you didn’t tell me, Marlena. She wouldn’t have been mad either. His secret is sacred.”
My father telling me he wasn’t angry that my mother had been killed because of my lie had me on the verge of hysterics. My chest heaved as I looked over my shoulder, not wanting to lose sight of him. “I love you.”
With a despairing expression, he told me, “I love you, little girl.”
That was when the cage next to my father’s caught my attention. This wolf was huge, almost as big as Romy, and black, but he looked mean, and he was staring directly at me. My blood went cold.
In the tent were stainless steel tables big enough to hold big wolves with shackles and restraints of all different sizes. I could practically smell death. One table had a smaller, unconscious wolf strapped down. My heart bled for him. He was hooked up to a drip full of yellow fluid and a heart monitor. Machines beeping with data and portable chalk boards reading “subject: negative reaction to acid test…” confirmed that experiments were taking place.
Other stainless steel tables had disturbing tools, including saws and large syringes, along with items I did not recognize. There were cages, some occupied by sickly wolves with pus running from their noses and ears and bald patches in their fur. One cage held a gorgeous ivory wolf, sleeping on his side.
A man with a white doctor’s coat almost covering his black clothes examined his chart. He looked at another man dressed the same way. “Deceased. Need another removal.”
I gasped. The bastards had killed him.
At my noise, the man with the chart glared at me. “Ah, the female controlling our troublemaker.” To the young man holding my upper arm, he said, “Sit her over there.”
Hopeless wolf eyes watched me through bars as I was guided to a chair.
Putting the chart in a holder with the other charts, the first man asked, “Count?”
“Forty-seven changed successfully. Seventeen of those have survived testing. Six originals still existing and one contamination to do.”
The man who’d nonchalantly spoken of another wolf’s passing walked to me with a different chart. “Only blood? Damn, I’m waiting to get my hands on you to see what makes ya tick and how you’ll react.”
My voice trembled. “React to what?”
He grabbed an alcohol swab. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
True to their word, only blood was drawn. I tried to stand afterward but became extremely woozy.
My kind guard helped me sit back down. “You should eat that apple.”
I nodded timidly and ate. I wanted to become invisible and find a key to release all the captives.
When I exited the tent, my father was waiting. “Are you hurt? I didn’t hear you scream.” His face was stricken with worry.
I didn’t envy my father’s front-row seat to the hell taking place in the white tent. “Just took blood. Dad, who’s next to you?”
My father weighed the questionable wolf snarling with a critical squint. “Just an angry old bastard.”
The wolf snapped his teeth at my father.
I was ushered away. My father clung to his fencing, his gaze following me. His eyes were trying to tell me so much. “Listen to my words carefully. Stay. With. Romy. No matter what. No matter what you see, little girl.”
Pain stabbed my stomach. I sensed his words were a warning of sorts. I began to fight the young man restraining me. “Wait! Dad, what do you mean?”
“No, don’t fight John.” My father looked at the young man who was nervously glancing around, checking for witnesses. I nodded and stopped pulling on him. With such a heavy heart, my father told me, “Choose Romy. It’s what I want.”
I said nothing. I felt disloyal without knowing why.
My father yelled, “Promise me!”
My father yelling at me told me the severity of his words. Even though I didn’t understand them, I understood what he needed to hear. Losing sight of my father as I was taken back around the bend, I told him, “Okay, Daddy. I promise.”
I chose the word Daddy, so Dad knew I would be the obedient child he was asking for. His tender smile told me he got the message. I’ll never forget that smile. Never.
Whimpering wolves seemed to want me. Remembering the dead wolf and the ones suffering in unit six made me reach out and try to touch each and every caged wolf I passed. In return, I received licks of encouragement, licks of strength that woke the woman in me, the fight I needed to no longer be afraid.
A need to take care of these beautiful creatures awakened the mother in me.
These wolves had growled for me, had attacked their cages for me, and were starving for Romy. One had died for me. I looked into many different shades of eyes as I took the walk that changed my perception on life and gave silent promises to do all I could to see them safe and free again.
My incredibly brave mother had died protecting me. I would show that her strength did not die with her. It was passed on to me, and I was willing to make the same sacrifice for those I considered my new family, including the alone, unconscious Sebastian who was still in the same position as when I left, limply hanging from his restraints attached to his cage. I swallowed my anger, hiding it in a special place for when I was ready to release it.
I was surprised when John stopped in front of Sebastian’s cage and began unlocking his gate. I walked through the opening. As John locked me in, I quietly asked, “Can you please un-cuff him now?”
The young man looked at the keys in his palm, thinking, then back at me while going to Sebastian. His eyes were trying to talk to me the way my father’s had. As before, I didn’t understand, but I knew it didn’t matter. A connection was forged between John and me, and when his message needed to be clearer, it would be.
Dried blood told me how a guard had hit Sebastian in the head, knocking him out. Had they untied him, Sebastian could have transformed back to Romy and healed again. I knelt next to my love and gently touched his beautiful face. Released, his body slumped over and fell to me. I sat on the ground, leaned my back to the wall of our prison, and stretched out my legs as I rested his head in my lap. I ripped off a piece of my dirty shirt, dipped it in his water, and softly wiped the dried blood from his skin. After cleansing him the best I could, I ran my fingers slowly through his thick, dark hair. There wasn’t anything else I could do for him. I could only hold and watch over him until he or Romy returned to me.
Sebastian did not stir until the afternoon. He seemed to be struggling in a nightmare, calling for me. “Marley…”
I kept rubbing his hair and touching his face. “I’m here. I’m here, Sebastian.”
Sebastian was l
ucky. He woke in a blissful mood, completing forgetting where he was and the nightmare he’d just experienced. With his face in my lap, facing my belly, he inhaled and smiled when his eyes opened. His arm strongly wrapped around my waist. “Marley, waking up with you is my most favorite way to open my eyes.”
I tried to smile, waiting for him to remember. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
His eyes closed as he nuzzled me. “Because I’m in love with you.”
I’m in love with you, too.
“Marley?”
“Yes?”
His eyes opened again, and he smiled so genuinely that my heart broke. My eyes brimmed at the sight of what joy I brought him, even in such madness. His mouth opened, closed, opened. “Will you marry me?”
“What is marriage?” asked Sebastian as we sat in my living room with the shadows of the muted TV shining across our faces.
I looked at the pictures on my living room wall. Some were of when I was younger. In one picture in particular, my mother was kissing my father’s cheek with such affection it melted my young heart.
“It is love, being given a promise of commitment for life. Some say even longer.”
Tears fell.
I could barely speak because of the memory of the love my parents had and because the happiest moment of my life was going to be tainted once Sebastian remembered where we were. “Yes, Sebastian,” I softly answered. “I will marry you.”
Sebastian got a seductive look in his eyes. I knew what he wanted and so desperately wished I could offer it to him. He pushed off the ground, getting to his knees. His lips looked ready to kiss mine, but when his eyes caught sight of the cages, he froze. Recognition replaced his bliss. His eyes found mine. My eyes apologized to him for allowing him to believe he was free.
I rose to my knees and faced him.
From the happiest to the worst.
My breath was stolen as he grabbed my face and placed a deep kiss on my lips. He moaned as he ravaged and conquered more of my mouth. The fact that the only TLC my teeth had received was my finger and a dirty water bowl should have revolted him, but I guess life and death make these little things, well, not so important.
In a breathy voice, he said, “I meant every word. Don’t you ever doubt me or my words to you.” He kissed me again.
We were on our knees in a powerful embrace during the worst time of our lives, and I swear I touched a place in heaven that beautiful, miserable day.
Chapter Seventeen:
Inheriting Essence
Sebastian sat in the back corner of our cell. I sat between his legs, leaning on his warm chest. As he played with my dirty blond hair, he asked, “What did they do to you?”
“Drew blood. Nothing else.”
His head leaned affectionately against mine. “Why did I get you back before night time?”
“I don’t know. Maybe Boss felt guilty for the concussion? Sebastian, have you ever seen the… mean wolf over there?”
He kissed my cheek. “Yes. Why?”
“He was in the cage next to my dad. He scared me.”
His body tensed. “Did he hurt you?”
“No, but… he wanted to, I think.”
“But your dad is okay?”
“Besides having a view of the devil’s tent?”
He shivered. “Horrid view. Hearing it is bad enough.”
I’d forgotten about his sensitive hearing. I looked around at all the sensitive ears. More anger built inside me as I realized these wolves were forced to hear their kind tortured. I wanted someone to pay for it.
I felt Sebastian look over his shoulder, so I peeked around his big bicep. A wolf I hadn’t seen before was being led by poled nooses. I understood why I’d been put back in Romy’s cage when the new wolf was placed in mine. Boss and his docs were running out of room.
When the wolf was left alone, his hunched body trembled, tail tucked between his hind legs. I left Sebastian’s lap and crawled toward the timid wolf. “It’s okay. You’re not alone. My name is Marl—”
His wolf form spasmed, stopping me on my knees, and then he fell to the ground, violently turning into a human. Young green eyes opened. He seemed to be only around fourteen.
My heart instantly bled for him. “You’re okay. Just try real hard not to fight it.”
“Wh—Why are they doing this to me?” he asked with an extremely shaky voice. He contorted with agony on his face and then shifted right back to wolf form. He seemed to have no control over the transitions.
I froze in fear when the new wolf now lunged at his own fencing to get to me. But I didn’t even have time to scream. My gray wolf stood over me, viciously growling his warning. I had never witnessed his transformation at lightning speed before. It was beyond amazing.
After looking above my shoulder at the massive, rumbling chest above me, I saw the now-cowering wolf, pitifully urinating on himself as he backed away. When he jolted and switched into a human, something seemed off about his transition. It wasn’t fluid—it didn’t look natural.
The teenager appeared lost and confused. “What is happening to me?”
Romy stopped growling, my back to his chest. With my fingers grasping the chain links, I said, “Try to embrace your—”
Slamming back into wolf form, the teenager launched at me again. This time, neither Romy or I reacted because it was too shocking. We both froze as this poor, tortured soul violently switched back and forth in between forms, sometimes stuck in an agonizing mixture of the two. It was as if his body couldn’t properly conform to its new shape or reason. Nature and an abomination fought for control.
In sweaty human form, he reached out to us. “Help me.”
My skinny hand reached through the hole, but he was too weak for us to connect—for him to touch one more caring person before he passed. No, the last touch he would know was to be from cruel creators who ultimately killed him. Slowly, I withdrew my hand and rested it over my saddened heart.
Sebastian’s hands gently touched my shoulders. Still on my knees, I quietly pivoted and sat back into the lap and arms waiting to comfort me. The male wolf next to our cage sat on his hind legs. He inhaled deeply as guards approached his kennel with nooses. I heard the female wolf, imprisoned next to my old cage that now housed death, behind me pacing. Sebastian and I could only sit silently as we watched another wolf be led away to meet his fate.
A couple of hours later, the metal wagon came around, feeding wolves. The man in the bloody white clothes with the meal cart did not appear to be a guard. He pushed a tray of raw treats into our cage. My stomach turned.
“Damn it. I should have bargained for you to be fed,” Sebastian complained over my shoulder. But then a tray with baked chicken, salad, bread, and a glass of milk was pushed in. I leapt from Sebastian’s lap and grabbed the links restraining me, telling the wolves, “He has food. Please, don’t refuse to eat any longer.”
Exasperated because the wolves didn’t move to eat, I looked back at Sebastian, who… smiled. I told him, “Now eat, so they will.”
Sebastian became Romy, tearing into the meat on the tray. He was starving! But I froze when no other wolf touched his or her food. “Please! He’s eating now!” I was beyond upset with the dead wolf in the cage next to me and the rest going hungry.
The wolves just stared at me. Romy sat next to his tray, chewing and watching.
Completely frustrated, I sat heavily next to my food. Too upset to eat, I numbly poked at my plate. From the corner of my eye, I saw some movement. The female wolf one cage over crept closer to her tray while watching me. It started making sense to me. I picked up my chicken, and she got even closer. I shoved chicken in my mouth. I spoke around the poultry, “Nah wah ya eut?”
Raw meat was suddenly being devoured with a vengeance by all the surrounding wolves. They were
finally not refusing their meals. If I hadn’t been so hungry myself, I was sure I could’ve cried again, but instead, I did some devouring of my own. Romy rubbed his body against my back before following suit, eating more of his food. Huge wolves crunching through dead animals would deter some appetites, but I grew up with Romy, and his eating habits deterred me not at all.
Two nights later, John approached our cage with a blanket and a barrel of wood for a fire because it had snowed and snowed. The sun was still setting far too early, causing long, cold evenings and nights. Romy lifted his head to observe the activity. All guards were on deck, ready to deal with a hostile wolf. I peeked out from my Romy cocoon. “If no one touches me, this wolf will not move. John, I assure you, you will be unharmed, and these men can get out of the snow.”
All the guards shifted from one foot to the other, trying to stay warm. It was bloody cold, a freak snowstorm as winter’s goodbye present.
Boss shivered violently. “I believe her. Good luck, John. We’ll be watching your back from, uh, inside.” He didn’t believe me, but he left one of his own behind out of selfishness.
John’s jaw dropped as the other guards followed their leader, leaving him in the freezing cold to deal with hell on paws by himself.
Shivering, I said, “It’s okay. I give you my word, John.”
Romy laid his head back in the snow to continue to rest and confirm my promise.
“See? He’s a big ol’ pussy cat.”
Romy growled.
I laughed. “Big ol’ dog?”
Another growl.
“How about a big bad wolf?”
Silence.
I winked at John with snow on my eyelashes. “Even wolves have egos, I suppose.”
John’s cold, trembling hands shook as he went through his keys. “I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I’m too frozen to stop and think about what a horrible mistake this is.” He unlocked the cage. “Please have pity on me, and keep him from eating me alive.”
My Wolf and me Page 17