If I pretend to be her, I get to keep Jay and Kate and even my father, in a way. The loss won’t be too great. Of course, I’ll lose Lyla. That in itself, might be too much.
Jay slows his steps, approaching cautiously. With his right hand tucked into the pocket of his jeans, his head bent slightly, he looks at me with his dark chocolate eyes. There is so much love, so much intensity in his expression. It is in complete contrast to his unruly curls that fall this way and that, carefree and loose. Looking at him I know that I can’t pretend to be Lyla. I can’t do that to him. I can’t do that to her.
I have to tell him the truth.
Rising to my feet, I dust myself off. Jay bridges the gap between us, takes my hands in his and holds them to his chest as he leans his forehead into mine. My throat constricts as my pulse quickens. Can he feel the hesitation coursing through me?
“I’m really sorry, Ly.” His voice catches. “I get it,” he continues. “This is a lot to deal with and I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”
You can trust him. Just tell him. Repeating this chant to myself, I try to work up the nerve. But what if he doesn’t believe me? What will I do then? Standing this close to him, heat radiating from his chest, the comfort of it makes me falter, gives me time to reconsider. Is it so wrong to want this feeling of safety to last a bit longer?
There’s a moment before two people kiss when the world stops. Breathing is put on hold, eyes close and lips part in anticipation. Truthfully, I like it better than the actual kissing, that brief second before the lips meet.
That delicious moment is happening to me.
Jay’s eyes close as he tilts his head. My body, Lyla’s body, reacts before my brain can stop it. The first brush of his lips is timid, patient. But before I know it our lips tangle in a delightful dance of push and pull.
Suddenly, abruptly, I shove him back, and without thinking I hear myself blurt out, “I’m not Lyla! I’m Mercy!”
Jay steps back, shaking his head in disbelief. Before he can speak, I keep going.
“I know this sounds crazy and I know you’ll think I’m insane, but it’s true. I’m Mercy. I don’t know how it happened or why it happened, but you have to believe me! When I woke up, you kept calling me Lyla and you tried to give me coffee, I thought there was something wrong with you. But then I went to the bathroom to change and I saw me, her. I’m in her, Jay, I’m in her body, but I’m me. I’m Mercy.” By the end, the hysteria in my voice is unmistakable. “Please, please believe me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” The tears start and I don’t bother to wipe them off.
“I don’t know why you’re saying this, Ly, but you need to stop. Just stop.”
“I can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t. When I woke up I was her. And I wanted to tell you, but then everything just happened. Kate was there and then my dad and then that stupid doctor came in and told everyone I’m dead. And I lost it. I mean you’re not supposed to be around to watch what happens when your family finds out you’re dead. But I did. And it fucking sucks. But I’m not dead, Jay. I’m still here. I’m right here. I’m Mercy.”
“We should go back inside, maybe talk to the doctors.” He tries to usher me toward the hospital, but I shove him off.
“NO! There has to be something I can say to convince you. Ask me anything. Anything about me, Mercy, and I’ll tell you.”
For a brief second his expression changes and I think maybe, just maybe he’s beginning to believe. But then he yells, “Stop!” and turns from me.
I go around to face him. Grabbing him by the arms I plead with him. “You know what I’m talking about. You know. But I’ll say it if that’s what it takes.”
He breaks free of my grasp and strides a few paces away. He’s cracking. I’m getting to him.
“It was the night your parents told you they were getting divorced.” Jay’s shoulders tense as I speak. “You climbed through my window with a half empty bottle of tequila. We talked all night. I held you while you cried. You were so upset and I was trying to make you feel better. Neither one of us meant for it to happen.”
“Stop,” he whispers. “Don’t say anymore.” He doesn’t turn around, but I can tell he’s processing what I’ve said.
“You were so drunk that I wasn’t even sure you’d remember kissing me. But when you woke up the next morning you started freaking out and you begged me. You begged me not to say anything to Lyla. And I didn’t, Jay. I swear I didn’t.”
Slowly, Jay spins on his heels. When he faces me again his eyes are wide. He studies me, like he’s seeing me for the first time. Not Lyla, me.
“Mercy?”
Chapter Four
Gage
Once I reach the parking lot, Lyla and Jay come into view. I think for a second that maybe I’m wrong, maybe it didn’t happen. When Jay leans forward and kisses her, hope floods through me. But when she shoves him away I know.
She isn’t Lyla. She’s Mercy. The worst has happened.
My fingers latch onto fistfuls of hair and I kick a rock, sending it soaring into the hubcap of a car.
“Son of a bitch!”
A surge of guilt and regret rocks my insides. The one thing I’ve been trying to prevent, Mercy breaching a body, is the one thing I’ve failed to keep from happening. Things are such a mess now. Facing the others, telling them of my colossal screw up, is only one of the many problems I face. Rae will say I told you so. Maybe not out loud, but she’ll think it and she’ll give me that look, the one that says, you should have listened to me.
Zee will be furious, but of all of them, he’ll have the most empathy for me. Jinx, of course, will side with Rae. Jinx follows everything to the letter of the law, he only sees in black and white, no shades of gray.
Rae will mostly be pissed. I let a Breacher cloud my judgment. But she doesn’t understand. None of them do. Mercy isn’t like any of the other cases we’ve dealt with.
“You’ve fucked this up royally.” Rae’s icy voice makes all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. “We have to end this now, Gage, before it goes any farther.”
Slowly, I turn to face her. Clad in black skinny jeans, motorcycle boots, and a leather jacket that looks as though it was beaten, she stands with her arms folded across her chest. Her right foot is popped out like a dancer’s, her standard stance whenever she’s feeling superior.
“What do you propose, Rae? That I waltz over there and slit her throat?”
“If you’d rather I do the wet work, that’s fine with me.”
I let out a quick puff of air before saying, “Just go home. You’re making this worse.”
Her amber eyes narrow as she scowls. “I’m making this worse?” She scoffs. “That’s laughable. You had one job to do, Gage, and you failed.”
“You make it sound like this is so easy.”
“It is easy. Find Breachers. Kill them. Simple. It’s what we do. It’s who we are.”
“Stop with the guilt,” I groan.
“We are Hunters, Gage. We have a duty to protect people. Why can’t you understand that?”
“It’s not that simple and you know it, Rae.”
She steps toward me. “Why this girl? What makes her any better than the rest?”
Unable to hold her gaze, my eyes drift beyond her to where Jay and Mercy are standing. Jay looks frozen, almost paralyzed. Mercy must be trying to tell him what happened.
Shit. This is getting out of control. I need to get rid of Rae and find a way to talk to Mercy without being seen.
Rae puts her hand on my shoulder. “You’re not going to answer my question are you?”
“What question?”
“Jesus Christ, Gage. You need to pull your head out of your ass and focus. Nathaniel is still out there somewhere. He’s already murdered one human tonight. What if he’s taken another body? Did you think of that, or is your precious Mercy all you think a
bout anymore?”
“I don’t have time for your judgment, Rae. She doesn’t know what’s happening to her. She didn’t ask for this!”
Mercy and Jay retreat to the hospital just as a police cruiser pulls into the parking lot.
“I have to go, Rae. You can yell at me all you want later, but right now, I have to help her.”
“She’s a Breacher. Not some charity case. You need to do your job. Kill her, and all of our problems with Nathaniel are over.”
“Rae, listen to yourself. Do you hear what you’re saying? You act as if murdering an innocent person is … ”
She cuts me off. “Not innocent, Gage. She’s a soul-sucking, body-snatching Breacher. Do you know what will happen to you if The Assembled finds out about this? For all we know they’re on their way here now.”
I wave her off. “I’m not worried about them.”
“They’ll take your powers, Gage. They’ll turn you into a human. You’ll be mortal. Is that what you want? To die?” She takes a breath and softens her stance. “You’ll end up like Nathaniel.”
Everything she says is like a new bullet to an already hole-ridden target. I’m hanging on by a thread and I know it. Facing The Assembled won’t be easy. If they turn me human, cast me out, I don’t know what I’ll do or what I’ll become. But as much as that terrifies me, I can’t turn my back on Mercy.
“Rae, I’m sorry. I truly am. I know I can’t make you see, can’t make you understand why I need to do this, so I’m asking you to trust me.”
“I have trusted you. And that led us here. You think she’s different, or that you can change her, but you’re wrong. Look what she did! The first chance she got she took her best friend’s body. Are you even considering that?”
“It was an accident and you know it.” I meet her glare with full force. “Rae, you know it. Nathaniel grabbed her in the alley and he forced her out of her body. She never meant for this to happen.”
“This is all on you now,” she spits. “I’m out. If you want to go down, you’re not taking us with you. You’re on your own.”
Though I want this to be one of Rae’s many empty threats, her set jaw tells me that she’s dead serious.
“Rae, I know I’m asking a lot and I know that I’ve already made you risk so much, but please, just give me some more time. Let me try and help her.”
“No matter what happens,” Rae starts, “I’ll never understand why her. After everything we’ve seen and everything we know … ” she trails off. Composing herself, she clears her throat and says flatly, “This isn’t going to end the way you want. She’s a Breacher, Gage. By sheer design she follows only her emotions, her desires. It will overtake her, just as it did for all the others. She’ll disappoint you.”
“She won’t.”
Rae rolls her eyes. “Oh, Jesus! You didn’t! You’re in love with her? Really?” She puts her fingers to her temples. “You’re going to get us all killed. The Assembled will come, and they won’t just take it out on you, Gage. There will be consequences for all of us.”
“I can’t talk about this now. I can’t say … I don’t know …” I huff out an exasperated breath. “Please help me, Rae. Find Nathaniel before he does any more damage. Give me a chance to help Mercy.”
Rae kicks at the ground, scuffing the toe of her boot. “Fine,” she says through clenched teeth.
I grab Rae by the forearms, lean forward and kiss her cheek. “Thank you.” Leaving her, I tear through the parking lot toward the hospital.
Chapter Five
Rae is right. I am breaking all the rules. Falling for a human is beyond forbidden. But I’m not even sure that’s what happened. I don’t know what love is exactly, or what it feels like. All I know is that I have to help Mercy. I have to try. And again, Rae is right. Because of the mess I’ve made, things are out of control.
Mercy’s case was assigned to me six years ago, after her mother died. The Assembled thought maybe the trauma of it would trigger a breach. When it didn’t, I went into a holding pattern, watching her from afar. Everything was going according to procedure. I kept my distance. But as I watched her something inside me shifted. I wanted to watch her. I wanted to be near her. It was more than obligation, but I had it under control. Everything was fine. Until Nathaniel showed up.
Nathaniel Black is one of the oldest and most notorious Breachers ever. He’s always one step away from our grasp. He infiltrated Mercy’s life a year ago, taking the body of one of her teachers, Mr. Andreas. But he didn’t act, he didn’t confront her, tell her who she was or what she could do. He sat back and watched. And I needed to know why.
It’s become an obsession for me, watching him watch her. Recently, I could feel his impatience growing and I knew he was going to strike. That’s why I stepped in. It wasn’t because of how I felt about Mercy. I thought maybe if I could get to her first, learn more about her, then maybe I could figure out Nathaniel’s plan.
It was in the school library, just after lunch when my opportunity presented itself. The bell rang and Mercy rose from her chair to repack her bag. A stack of note cards slid through her fingers and fell to the floor.
“Let me help you,” I said to her.
“Thanks.” She looked up at me, wide brown eyes circled by a ring of dark green.
I extended my hand and introduced myself, “Gage.” The corner of her lips pulled into a playful smile and instantly I knew the handshake was a stupid idea.
She shook my hand anyway and said, “Mercy.”
“Pleasure.” Holding onto her hand too long, I quickly dropped it and tried to act normal.
“You’re new? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.” She tucked the note cards into her backpack.
“Yes. Just started here, you?” Another stupid move. Christ, Gage. Stop being such an idiot.
She laughed, smiled again and said, “Not quite.”
The bell rang.
“Thanks again for the help,” she said.
As she started to turn, she paused. Her eyes closed, her face contorted, and she swallowed hard. As she swayed, I rushed forward and braced her. She leaned into me and I supported her as her hair fell across her face.
Guiding her toward the table, I slid a chair back with my foot and eased her into it. Like a rag doll, she slumped forward a bit.
Kneeling in front of her I brushed the hair from her eyes and asked, “Are you all right?”
Sluggishly, she nodded. From my backpack I withdrew a water bottle and handed it to her. “Here, drink this.”
Her lips parted just enough to swallow a tiny sip. When she finished she said, “I feel dizzy.”
“It’ll pass,” I assured her.
The second bell rang. She looked up at the clock on the wall and frowned. She whispered, her words slurring slightly, “I’m late for class. You’re late too. Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” I pulled another chair over and sat across from her. “Do you want me to take you to the nurse?”
She shook her head. “I have a test. I have to go to class.”
“What class?”
“Mr. Andreas. World Lit.” Her words were slow and drawn out.
Nathaniel. He couldn’t see her like this. Mercy’s hold on her body was weakening as the Breacher part of her clawed its way to the surface. I didn’t know how much longer she had left. Days? Hours?
“Maybe you should skip that one today.”
“Mercy!” A tall, strikingly beautiful girl with dark hair and blue eyes called from across the room. The librarian at the desk shushed her. The girl responded by rolling her eyes.
“Lyla.” Mercy’s speech was still breathy, as if her brain was having trouble processing thought.
“What’s wrong? You look terrible,” Lyla said.
“Dizzy.” Mercy’s head popped up for a second then quickly flopped forward.
“Are you drunk?” Lyla asked sarcastically. “’Cause that would be funny.”
&
nbsp; “She fainted. Sort of. I mean, I caught her before she fully went out,” I told Lyla.
She eyed me. “And you are?”
“Gage.”
“Well, thanks for helping. I can take it from here.” She reached around Mercy’s waist and pulled her to her feet. “Come on, birthday girl, up we go.” She propped Mercy against herself and pulled her to her feet.
For a second, I thought Lyla had her, but Mercy’s legs buckled. I jumped to my feet and threw Mercy’s arm over my shoulder. Together, Lyla and I held her up.
“The nurse’s office is just down the hall.” Lyla nodded to the left. “You better recover by tonight, Mercy. Or I’m seriously going to be pissed.”
Surprised by Lyla’s statement I said, “You’re being a little harsh, don’t you think?”
“Maybe.” She laughed, which caught me off guard. Continuing, she said, “But she promised me she was going to enjoy this birthday and I’m holding her to it.”
“I don’t think she’s in any condition to celebrate. She can barely stand.”
“I’m sure it’s just low blood sugar or something, right, Mercy?”
Mercy’s head lolled to the side and rested against my shoulder.
“Has this happened before?” I asked, my voice more urgent than I would’ve liked.
Lyla readjusted Mercy’s weight and said with exasperation, “She gets like this around her birthday. She goes all Girl Interrupted on me, which I think is just an excuse to sit around and wallow. But not this year. She’s going to have fun even if it kills her.”
We reached the nurse’s office. I forced the door open with my shoulder. Lyla followed, sideways, as we carried Mercy over the threshold. It was just a few more feet to the cot where we carefully laid Mercy on her back.
“Well, what do we have here?” the nurse asked.
I was about to explain how she fainted, but Lyla spoke first. “Low blood sugar.”
“You know where the crackers are, Lyla. I’ll get her some juice.” The nurse disappeared around the corner while Lyla walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a box of Saltines.
Into the Dark Page 2