“You're not my girlfriend,” he corrected. “Neither is Brenda. However, if you were, Brenda would not be here.”
Mariss stopped soaping her leg to look at him. His eyes were sincere and just a little cloudy. She narrowed her own eyes in thought. There had been a way to keep Brenda off of this trip after all? She'd beat herself up for that later.
“Why are you still standing there? Were you waiting for me to start sexy bathing?”
Mariss squeezed soap out of her louffa and let it run down her chest and between her breasts. She lowered her lids and let her lips pucker. Sebastian's eyes widened and his mouth went slack. For the first time, she saw him undone before her. Speechless and braindead.
Sebastian coughed to clear his throat. “I'll bring you back a bagel.”
“There had better be bacon, cheese, and egg on that bagel,” she called after him. His seductive chuckle was cut off by the sound of the door closing.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
THE PHALL-ACY
Mariss stepped onto the deck, resisting the urge to pull her bikini bottom down over her ass one more time. She forced her arms down by her sides instead of wrapping them around her stomach. She had nothing to hide really, except some scars from her time in the gang, but they weren't prominent and weren't likely to draw unwanted attention. Her back piece might cause some talk, though. It would give the men on the boat a chance to stare at her ass without getting in too much trouble. She worked hard to make sure her body was in good shape. Still, it was strange to be in a situation like this and not have Holden's protective gaze to keep the other men's hands off.
Heads turned when she came into view. Mariss ignored the stares, but she couldn't help but check Sebastian's. And he was staring. They hadn't had much time alone since her little porno move in the shower that morning. Brenda made sure of that. His eyes raked her body like those of a man who'd never seen a woman before.
“My god, Red.” Sebastian pulled her into the circle of his body as if trying to protect her from prying eyes.
Mariss cocked an eyebrow. “You've seen it all before. Recently.”
“Yes, well.” He knocked back his drink as Brenda sauntered over, but didn't relinquish his hold on her until Maris stepped away. Brenda took in Mariss with those aged eyes of hers and unwrapped her sheer cover up from her narrow hips.
“Mariss,” Brenda said. She could cover her skin wrinkles with plastic surgery, but not the ones in her voice.
“Brenda. Lovely day.” They'd avoided each other as best they could all morning. Mariss had taken a separate car to the dock and shut herself in the room Sebastian designated for her as soon as they were onboard.
“Indeed.” The woman dragged a hand down her chest, between her tiny breasts, and over her stomach.
“Have an itch?”
“What?” Brenda frowned.
“You're scratching yourself like you itch.” Mariss took the drink Sebastian handed her.
“No, I don't… I wasn't scratching.” She huffed and turned away.
“You need to leave her alone,” Sebastian growled low in her ear, but there was enough humor in his voice to suggest that he was fighting laughter.
“Your mum would be proud.” Mariss took a drink of the strong liquid in her glass.
“Yeah? Why's that?”
“You're clearly drawn to women who remind you of her. How old is she? Fifty-five? Sixty?”
Sebastian snorted. “Mariss, that's enough.”
“I'm just pointing out the obvious. I think it's kind of cute. When her arthritis gets the better of her you can wipe her arse and pick her bunions.”
“That's wrong.” Sebastian took the whiskey from her and handed her a glass of red wine. “They're heel spurs. No picking required. Why are you being so mean?”
“You know why.”
“Are you jealous, sweetheart?” His voice was taunting.
Mariss looked up into his smug face and had the sudden urge to slap him, simply because she wanted to see him shocked speechless once more.
“I don't need to be jealous of that,” Mariss boasted. “My success and power intimidate her. I've either published her or someone she knows.” She shrugged. “Which is it?”
Sebastian regarded her a moment. His eyes flared with something akin to fascination and she reminded herself that they didn't know each other very well, even after all the time they'd spent together.
“Her friend's sister,” he eventually answered.
Mariss smiled in triumph. “Knew it.”
“Stop smiling like that. You look evil.”
“Who told you I wasn't?” She finally took a sip of the wine, pleased that it had a nice fruity zing to it.
“Ah, you like that.” It was Sebastian's turn to smile. “I thought you would.”
“Why did you take my whiskey?”
“With the way you're talking to me, I don't need you hiting the hard stuff. You'll make her cry.”
“Wine does crazy things to me, Bassy.”
“That so?” There was a feral glint in his eyes that made Mariss' stomach flutter.
“We're not going there,” she insisted, looking away.
“Why not?”
“You have a girlfriend and I'm grieving.” She'd have thought that was clear enough.
“I don't do girlfriends, Red. You know that. She's a woman to have on my arm. That's all.”
“Is that all I am?” As much as it chaffed to admit it, Mariss wanted to be so much more than that to him, but he wasn't that kind of man.
“I would hope you know better than that. If that's all you were to me you would have been gone a long time ago.”
“Oh, thanks. That makes me feel so much better.” Still, despite the ridiculousness of his comment, she smiled. “I'm glad though.”
Mariss stepped away from him before he could comment and found one of the sunblock boys to rub her down. He was tall and skinny with narrow, long-fingered hands. She sat on the end of one of the lounges and pulled her hair out of the way so he could lather her back. But the hands that started to work on her weren't the ones she'd expected.
“Nice try.” Sebastian's deeply accented voice was thicker as he hummed in her ear. “You mean much more to me than a woman to look nice on my arm. I hope you believe that.”
His strong, wide hands rubbed the sunblock into her skin. He didn't knead her muscles or try to give her a back rub. He knew that it would cause a scene and those weren't things he easily forgot. He simply applied the block to her back, then started on her shoulders.
“I don't know how you came to mean so much to me,” he mused and there was a smile in his voice, “but you did.”
“Does that bother you?” Mariss thought that if he started rubbing her shoulders she might fall asleep instead of be ready to jump the first man who crossed her path.
“It used to, but it doesn't anymore.”
“How do you know?”
“I can't stand the thought of one of these men touching you, even if it is to rub sunblock on your back. I don't understand my possessiveness, but I don't think it bothers me. I just have to learn how to handle it.”
“Like sabotaging some poor kid out of his tip?”
Sebastian chuckled. She really loved the way he laughed. It was a low, humored sound that always made her want to smile.
“I'll give him a tip.”
“That being to keep his hands off me?” She laughed when he didn't reply. “You're an arse.”
“When did you start saying arse?”
“I don't know. You bring out the British in me.”
He laughed then. Loud enough to cause several people to turn and look. Brenda was one of them and she didn't like seeing him rubbing on her. Truthfully, he could have stopped, but she didn't think either one of them wanted that just yet.
“I can be the British in you,” he said low and seductive in her ear.
“Oh, my god.” Mariss couldn't help but chuckle at the cheesiness of his line. “Bassy, that w
as terrible.”
“Yes, but you laughed. Worth it in my book.”
“Don't get sentimental on me now. We've come so far.”
“Not me. Never.” He caressed her neck with his knuckles before he stood, setting her skin on fire. Maybe she wouldn't fall asleep after all.
Mariss applied the block to the rest of her exposed skin. Her wine had grown warm so she carried it down below to put it in the fridge in the galley.
Brenda was wrapped around Sebastian when Mariss got back outside. With one leg thrown over his hip, she stroked his hair, her long, red nails looking like blood dripping through the dark locks. It hung in waves across his forehead and over his ears again. It might have been the sexiest look she'd seen on him yet.
Mariss shook her head and gave a little chuckle. Climbing up and over the railing, she turned to give Sebastian a little wink and dove into the water. It was cool and refreshing. Before she surfaced there was another splash and Mariss came up facing Sebastian.
“I didn't know you swam.”
Sebastian grinned that slow sexy grin that made Mariss' heart stop and her thighs clench. “I used to be on the swim team. I'm actually a very good swimmer. Juliet didn't tell you?”
Mariss shook her head as his arms slid around her waist and pulled her flush against him. He was still in his jeans and t-shirt.
“Your girlfriend is watching.”
The corners of his mouth tipped down in dismissal. “I'm not worried about her.”
She chuckled. “Why did you jump in after me? I can swim just fine.”
“I wanted to get wet with you.”
Mariss dropped her head back and laughed. “You should have taken your shirt off.”
“I could have stripped,” he nodded. “It's not beneath me to get naked in front of people. Would you have liked that?”
Mariss smirked. “No, please keep your clothes on.”
“Too much of a distraction for you?”
She didn't answer. Instead, she pushed away from him and swam back to the yacht. “I'm going to rinse the salt water out of my hair,” she said as she felt him swim up behind her.
Sebastian pulled her off the ladder and back into the water. His arms pressed her to his body as his lips found hers. He tasted of whiskey and the spicy scent of his cinnamon body wash lingered on his skin, mixing with the salty ocean water. He kissed her tenderly like a man in love, savoring and sweet. Mariss returned the kiss and couldn't help the tears that slipped down her cheeks. She hoped that he would think them just water dripping from her now kinky hair, but then she sobbed against his lips.
Sebastian sighed. His fingers danced across her cheek, wiping at the tears. “Don't cry. You weren't supposed to cry.”
“Let me go,” she almost begged. Sebastian did as she asked, but he reached into her hair to finger the tightly curled ends.
“I wish I could take this pain from you.” His tender words shocked her.
Mariss shook her head. “You can't.” She turned away and climbed out of the water. One of the boys was there with a towel. She held it to her face to hide the tears, then wrapped up in it as she disappeared into the cabin. When she had the shower going, Mariss got under the spray, swim suit and all.
She touched her lips, her mind stuck on the kiss from moments before. He'd never kissed her like that; gentle, almost loving. Their kisses were always frenzied and lustful, though full of desire. This was a new depth she'd never known from him before. She liked it, but she hated it. Mariss hated herself for betraying her husband. She hated herself for letting her lustful feelings get the better of her. She wasn't the kind of woman who stepped out on her husband.
But she was, wasn't she? Because that was exactly what she'd done. She'd cheated on her husband, then lied about it by not saying anything.
Mariss hated herself, because now that Holden was gone, her feelings for Sebastian were starting to become more than just feelings. She hated seeing Brenda touching on him, all hugged up with him. It was all she could do to keep from strangling the bitch when she saw them together. Mariss had no right to indulge murderous fantasies about the woman Sebastian was with. He wasn't her man. No matter what he said, he was not a one woman kind of man. Even if something happened between them, there would always be other women. Mariss was under no delusions that she could change him, nor would she bother to try. It would just frustrate them both.
Yet, the kiss lingered at the forefront of her mind. Her lips tingled with it and she could still smell and taste him. The longer she thought about it, the deeper her heart fell into despair until the pain of loss and guilt was so great that she could hardly breathe. Mariss sobbed. It felt like her chest would cave in and she felt the beginnings of a panic attack take hold. Her head became light and her knees wobbled. She reached out to the wall, but couldn't see where she was grabbing as lights started to popped in her vision.
“Mariss?”
She looked up, but couldn't make out Sebastian's face. She heard the shower door open and he stepped in. Sebastian caught her around the waist as she fell.
“Stop.” He turned off the water that steamed up the bathroom and hoisted her up, but she couldn't get her feet underneath her. Under her weight, he slipped on the wet tiles and they both went down. Mariss landed on her backside between his legs. He grunted as his ass hit the floor too.
“I can't breathe,” she gasped.
“You're fine, Red. Bend down.”
He pushed her head between her knees and she took huge gulps of air. It took several moments for her to catch her breath. Mariss leaned into Sebastian and he took her weight without complaint. His arms wrapped around her and one hand stroked her hair.
“Alright now?” he asked.
When she shook her head, he sucked his teeth and reached up to turn the water back on. When it hit her, she realized she was shivering.
“I'm a bad person,” she mumbled. “I was a horrible wife.”
“Why would you say something like that?” Sebastian asked, and he sounded a little pissed. “Any man would be lucky to have you for a wife. I've never met anyone as loyal as you.”
“Well, that's not saying much, is it? Seeing as you're the one I cheated on my husband with.” There was a long silence. He couldn't argue with her. “He knew. It was almost like he expected it. How twisted is that? He expected me to cheat with you. He expected me to be unfaithful and I was.” The tears started again. It had been at least a week since she'd reacted this strongly to Holden's death. One month wasn't enough to be over the grief, but the distance between her and the tragedy helped.
“Mariss. I thought we were past this.” Sebastian pulled her into him and she didn't fight, because what was the point? The two of them together was inevitable, even if it turned out to be a trainwreck and they both got run over.
“Don't. Don't try to rationalize it. It was wrong. I was so wrong.”
“I wasn't going to rationalize. I was going to say,” he paused and took a deep breath. “I'm sorry for chasing you.” The words sounded as if they caught in his throat and he had to force them past his lips. “You told me no and I should have left it at that.”
Mariss went so still she thought her heart might have stopped beating. Sebastian didn't apologize. Not to anyone for any reason. She held her breath, afraid she'd heard wrong, but she didn't dare ask him to repeat himself.
“Don't you dare say anything-”
Mariss threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard, bruising her lips on impact. It was the only reaction her mind could rationalize as suiting such a monumental occasion. Sebastian kissed her back, clearly taking advantage of the moment, but she let him. She didn't think he would ever know what it meant to her to hear those words. She didn't think he even understood what the words actually meant, but she knew he meant them and that was all that really mattered.
Mariss broke the kiss. She tried to convey her gratitude with just her eyes, because words failed her in that moment.
“What was that f
or?” he panted, a smile dancing across his lips.
“Thank you,” she breathed.
“I wasn't looking for accolades, Red.”
She shook her head. “I wasn't giving them.” Mariss stroked his cheek, running her thumb over the stubble there. “Brenda is going to wonder where you are.” As if she cared.
Sebastian shrugged and shook his head. “I told her you weren't feeling well.” A frown marred his perfect face and she wondered what he was thinking. “If you need me, I'll stay with you.”
“I'll be back up. You're going to need to change.”
He scraped his lower lip with his teeth and gave her the self-aware smirk. “I'd love for you to watch.” He winked at her and his eyes sparked with mischief.
Parts of Mariss began to throb down low, a reaction he took full advantage of when it suited him, which was all the time. There was nothing to stop him from coming onto her anymore and no real reason she couldn't enjoy it, aside from her guilt.
“So much for that apology,” she said, but she couldn't stop her smile. Mariss pressed his hand to her cheek. “Go be with your woman.”
“She's not my woman,” he said, raising his voice.
“Neither am I.”
“You could be.” His voice and face were tentative.
“I know,” she said after a moment. “But I'm not. Not right now anyway.”
Mariss stood and offered her hand to him, but he waved her away and pushed himself up. Sebastian reached around her and shut off the shower. His wet body pressed close to hers, his lips next to her ear.
“When you're ready,” he whispered. His breath was feathery light against her skin.
And then he was gone
CHAPTER TWENTY
THE RED WIDOW
Mariss pulled her hair back into a tight bun and towel-dried her bikini bottom as best she could before she slipped into a pair of cut off jean shorts. She reapplied her sunblock and climbed up into the cockpit. Sebastian stood on the deck in another pair of jeans and no shirt. This pair looked old and ragged like he used them for hard labor, which was ridiculous. The hardest labor he'd ever known was trying to convince her to sleep with him.
He was talking to the captain - because what sane person drove their own yacht in the Hamptons? - and the cook. Sebastian was pointing to the sky and gesturing. Both the cook and captain nodded, then slipped past her into the cockpit, the cook first. As the captain passed, he looked her up and down and grinned. He was attractive, though he didn't ooze sex like Sebastian did. He was a regular working man with slightly crooked teeth and hazel eyes that danced with mischief. He was trouble, she decided, though not nearly as much trouble as Sebastian.
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