“Are you alright?” Sebastian asked. He sipped some coffee, his piercing eyes intent on her. Though his tone made him sound intollerant, his face told a different story.
“Not feeling well,” she admitted. “It's probably just nerves.”
Mariss' mother watched her from the corner of the kitchen. Martha made a pass of the room, handing out mugs of real coffee this time. Katrina nodded her thanks and said, “Danke.”
Mariss shook her head. Her mother and Sebastian's had somehow become fast friends over night. The most hillarious part, was how Sebastian was obviously scared of her. She thought he might be more scared of her mother than Martha. Who knew his kryptonite was mothers?
“You'll do just fine,” Sebastian told her. His eyes hadn't left her face the whole time. As a matter of fact, Martha and Brenda were staring too. So were Brit, Juliet, and the other women from her office.
“What's wrong?” Mariss asked. “Why am I the center of attention?”
No one answered, but everyone looked away. Except for Sebastian.
“I'm going to go brush my teeth,” she said.
Mariss went to the bathroom and set to brushing her teeth.
Nausea doubled her over and she heaved over the sink. Fortunately, she had nothing in her stomach.
“Mariss, are you alright?” Sebastian asked from the doorway. His forehead was etched with concern, but he didn't venture much father into the room.
“Yeah, I'm fine,” she assured him, her voice much stronger than she'd expected. “I just stuck the toothbrush a little too far down my throat.” Mariss tried to laugh it off, but one glance at his face showed he was unconvinced.
“No worries,” she said. “I'll be fine to walk for you.”
Sebastian bit his lower lip and let it go. “That's not what I'm worried about. Are you sure you're alright?” he asked again. “Do I need to take you to a doctor?”
“No, why would I need a doctor? I told you it's just nerves. I haven't been modeling all my life like you have.”
“I haven't been modeling my whole life, either.”
Mariss didn't like the clinical, matter-of-fact feel to this conversation. After the night before, she'd assumed… Well, she wasn't sure what she assumed.
Juliet pranced into the bathroom. “Problem here?” she asked.
“Mariss is throwing up,” Sebastian announced. “You take care of her. She's being a spoiled brat.”
With that, he turned away and walked down the hall, disappearing into his bedroom. Mariss stared after him, confused at the change of his mood.
Juliet crossed her arms and huffed. “Are you sick?”
“No. I just gagged,” Mariss lied. “He's being an asshole.”
“When is that something new?”
Mariss shook her head. “I just want to brush my teeth and hair,” she snapped.
Juliet threw her hands up in supplication. “Alright. Martha wanted me to tell you that breakfast is getting cold, but if you aren't feeling well, I'll tell her you aren't eating.”
Juliet left with a slam of the door. Everyone was on edge today. Mariss braced her hands on the sink and took several slow, deep breaths to stave off the anxiety rising in her stomach, praying it was only because of the show today.
They sat in hair and makeup for what seemed like forever. Who knew it took so long to make a couple women look like convincing men? Mariss fiddled with her cell phone, checking emails and replying to a few, trying to keep her mind focused on the day ahead and not on the panic rising in her chest. She could deal with the panic attack, but it was what the panic attack meant that had her freaking out. And, of course, that didn't help to make her any calmer.
When she couldn't take it any longer, Mariss pushed herself out of her seat. She slipped into the restroom and locked herself in a stall. Slow, deep breaths. She kept herself focused on taking slow, deep breaths until the ringing in her ears went away.
Back in her chair, her hair and makeup woman was still waiting, looking a little dumbfounded.
“Sorry,” Mariss murmured. “I'm not feeling too well today.”
“That's understandable.”
In an extrodinary change of pace, before Mariss knew it, she was standing in line, waiting to go on stage. Sebastian came up beside her and put his hand on her back.
“Are you alright, sweetheart?” he asked. “I heard you had to slip out earlier. Were you sick?”
Mariss shook her head, trying to keep herself calm. “I'll be fine as long as you stop giving me whiplash with your mood swings. I'm not sure why I'm feeling like this, but I'll be okay.”
“If you need to sit it out, I'll understand.”
Mariss looked up at him. “And miss being part of your big debut?” She shook her head again and pulled her hat down over her eyes. “Never.”
Sebastian pushed it back up. “In the off chance that anyone actually recognizes you,” he said.
“Maybe I should whip my hat off and fling my hair around when I get to the end.” She could feel her anxiety lessening as Sebastian started to relax. He chuckled.
“Maybe you should.” He was non-committal about it, but Mariss knew he liked the idea by the way his lips twitched.
Juliet was the first down the runway since she was the tallest. She disappeared around the corner. Mindy followed, then Stacia, Janette and Amanda. Brit and Mariss were the last two. Brit was a little shorter, but Sebastian wanted Mariss last.
Brit turned around and grinned. She bounced a little on the balls of her feet and said, “I'm so putting this on my resume. Model extaordinaire.”
Mariss smiled, but it was hard with the panic rising up again. She took a couple deep breaths and let them out slowly. Hopefully, that would get her down the runway.
Brit disappeared around the corner and Mariss started counting to ten.
“Are you going to be alright?” Sebastian asked.
Mariss nodded, not wanting to lose count. Sebastian gave her a little nudge when it was time for her to go and she stepped up and around the corner. She was glad she wasn't wearing heels. She was unsteady enough that she knew that she would have fallen on her face if she had been.
The lights dazzled and hid everyone from sight. As she made her way down, the panic subsided and her confidence rose a notch. Modeling wasn't something she'd ever considered, nor was it an experience she expected to repeat, but she found that she was enjoying herself.
When she got to the end, Mariss stopped and smiled. Clapping arose from the crowd she couldn't see. She reached up and jerked the hat off her head and the pin that held her hair back. Her dark waves fell over her shoulder, pulling a gasp from the crowd. Mariss turned and walked back up the catwalk. When she was in the back, Sebastian grinned.
“Hair down, ladies,” he said.
Everyone took a look at her and the hats and hair came down. Brit scrubbed her fingers through her super short locks.
“That's a good look, Brit,” Sebastian teased with a wink.
“It's her normal look,” Mariss chimed in. Brit gave her a frown.
They walked back out, single file. The crowd cheered as they did, but they didn't cheer half as loud as when Sebastian came out on stage for his bow. He caught Mariss as she walked past him, and pulled her in against his side, waving to his adoring fans. She waved too, and melted a little when he leaned in and kissed her on the mouth in front of everyone. She couldn't help but grin when the cheers and clapping faultered momentarily, before starting back up with a roar.
“You know what this means?” Mariss asked on their way back to the dressing room. “Everyone thinks we're dating now.”
Sebastian kept his arm around her hips. “That was my intent.”
“And when you go back out there with Brenda on your arm?”
“The world knows what kind of man I am, even if Brenda refuses to accept it. If she gets her feelings hurt or her heart broken, she has no one to blame but herself.”
“That's a little cold, Bassy.”
&n
bsp; “Yes, well.” He held the door to the dressing room open for her. “She knew who I was when she came to me. Although,” he said, leaning into her ear, “if you'd joined me at dinner the night you had me and your husband at the Convention, I wouldn't have met her.”
Mariss frowned. “It's my fault your fucking Granny Cockgobbler?”
Sebastian stopped her with a fiery look. “You're starting to talk like Juliet. I don't like it.”
Mariss smirked. “Let me get changed. I'll see you later.”
Mariss found her clothes and changed into them quickly.
Elise found her a moment later and said, “You want me to fix your hair?”
She nodded and sat in the nearest chair. Elise spritzed some product on her hair and ran a towel through it like she was toweling it dry.
“I found this natural product that works like shampoo, but for dry hair. You just spray it on, and towel off the hairspray or gel, or whatever.”
Elise flipped on a blow dryer and fanned through Mariss' hair. She watched in the mirror with fascination as her hair went from crispy, to clean in five minutes. Next, Elise used a flat iron to pull Mariss' hair straight. The whole process took maybe twenty-five minutes.
“Elise, do you have any funding for your product line?” Mariss asked. She ran her fingers through her hair, amazed at how soft and clean it felt.
“Only what my ex and I put into it and sales from my clients and my website.”
“I'm going to call you when I get back to the states and set up an appointment so we can talk. This stuff is amazing. I might have to steal you from Sebastian. He'd kill me.”
Elise laughed. “I have a feeling he'd get over it. Plus, I have a line for men and women.”
Mariss shook her head. “It's a done deal. You work for me now. I'll match the amount Sebastian is paying you for today if you want to perk up everyone else while I get all of this cake-up off my face.”
Elise slipped a small, shiny bottle over Mariss' shoulder. “Makeup remover. A small dab on a sponge and it comes right off. Even waterproof. And it's gentle on your skin.”
Mariss took the bottle and squeezed a small dab on a makeup sponge. She had the makeup off in just a few minutes and was reapplying as Elise made her way through the other girls, fixing their hair.
Sebastian met them an hour later. He looked Mariss up and down, his eyes taking in her perfect hair and new, feminine face.
“You look marvelous,” he said.
“You can thank Elise and her wonder products. Where are we off to now?”
“You can go back to the house, if you'd like,” he said, “or you can stay here with me.”
He sounded like he wanted her to stay. Now that the panic had subsided, Mariss was sure it was related to her catwalk and nothing else.
“I'll let the girls know, but I'd like to stay. I think a few of them have flights to catch this evening.”
Mariss looked up to a pretty woman eyeing her with resentment. She smiled and the woman turned away.
“Sebastian?”
Mariss knew Brenda's voice, even over the din of voices. Today, she didn't look bad, though she wore enough makeup to make a model jealous. She wound her way through the crowd and into Sebastian's arms. He didn't let go of Mariss to hug her and give her a kiss on the cheek instead of the lips. Brenda obviously wasn't happy about it, but she kept her disappointment to herself, except for the bitch face she gave Mariss.
The two of them spent the day on either side of Sebastian - without talking to each other - while he basked in the praise lavished on him by his peers. It was interesting to watch him play at humble. He never mentioned that his models quit or that he couldn't get anyone to work with him to salvage his line, though it was hinted at a few times. He rolled with the punches, played it close to the vest, and kept that charming smile in place for the rest of the day. He spoke to Mariss and Brenda in turn, but never forced them to speak to each other. He was the perfect date, the perfect entreprenuer, the perfect celebrity. In almost everything he did, Sebastian was the perfect man.
Except when it came to relationships and feelings.
Mariss let the day pass around her, taking in the important parts and discarding the unimportant, like the looks she got from women Sebastian had obviously slept with, and the looks from the ones who thought they should have been on his arm. She had no disillusion that people wouldn't hate her for being with him nor that he felt and treated her differently than the others. She knew it was the price she paid for the man, and she could accept that. She already had.
“Excuse me.”
Mariss smiled at a woman she'd bumped into, but the woman didn't smile back. Her hair and eyes were brown, but the face was unmistakable. Alina. Mariss froze as a malicious smile spread over Alina's features before she turned away. Her mind went back to the day her husband was killed. It was the same woman who'd poisoned him.
Without thinking, Mariss broke away from Sebastian and dove into the throng of people, searching for the woman. She had no idea what she'd do if she found her, but it didn't matter. She'd figure it out when she got there.
Mariss pushed her way through the people obstructing her. Spotting her, she reached Alina, and with a hand on her shoulder, turned her so they were facing each other.
“What do you want?”
It wasn't Alina. The face was too small and round. Mariss shook her head and backed away. Panic rose up in her chest, the bitter taste of it on the back of her tongue. The woman frowned.
“Are you alright?”
Mariss shook her head and turned away, hoping to find Sebastian, but he was nowhere in sight. Instead of looking for him, she staggared to the restroom. Mariss barely made it to a toilet before she heaved. A vice tightened around her chest and she gasped for air.
“Hey, are you alright?”
Mariss turned to the brown-haired, round-faced woman and shook her head.
“What can I do?”
“Sebastian,” she gasped. “Get Sebastian.”
The woman nodded, stared for a moment like she was afraid to leave her, then took off. Mariss sank to the floor, ignoring that she was in a bathroom. She leaned her head against the stall wall and tried to calm herself. Every breath felt like her last as her chest and throat constricted more and more. Her ears rang and black spots appeared in her vision. She was going to pass out.
Sebastian seemed like a figment of her delirious imagination when he appeared, glowing as if haloed by light.
“Mariss, sweetheart. Can you hear me?” His voice was so far away.
Mariss shook her head. She felt arms around her, and then she was floating, floating, floating away.
“Oh, god, he loves her,” she thought she heard someone gasp, but it could have been her mind playing tricks on her.
Before she passed out, Mariss thought she remembered looking up into Sebastian's concerned, beryl gaze.
“You're safe, May,” he promised, though she wasn't sure if he'd actually spoken or if she'd just heard the words in her head.
Mariss woke with Juliet staring down at her with a strange look in her eyes.
“What's wrong?” Mariss asked. Her first inclination was to assume she'd done something to hurt someone while she was unconscious. “What did I do? Is Brenda okay?”
Juliet frowned. “Yeah? You told me to get you this.” She handed her a small box wrapped in a plastic bag. “You made sure Sebastian didn't know. I'm a little worried, I won't lie. So, let's get this overwith. I'll be waiting in the kitchen so you can have some privacy.”
Mariss took the bag from Juliet and peeked inside. Her stomach did a flip flop and threatened to empty itself again if there had been anything there to lose in the first place. She took a deep breath and carried the bag to the bathroom with her.
Ten minutes later, Mariss wandered into the kitchen where everyone sat around the island talking animatedly about the fashion show. When she walked in, all conversation stopped and everyone turned to her.
Ma
riss blinked and caught her mother's gaze with her own. She already knew. Of course she did.
“I'm pregnant,” Mariss said softly. The kitchen was as quiet as could be as they all tried to process the information.
“It's not mine,” Sebastian said, his tone cold as ice.
“I didn't say it was yours.” Mariss shifted her weight to one foot as he become decidedly more hostile.
“That's fine. I just won't be taking responsibility for any children.”
Mariss felt her eyes widen. “No one is asking you to take responsibilty, Sebastian.” Her own tone cooled enough to freeze the Sahara.
Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest. “I didn't say you were. All I'm saying is-”
“Why the hell would I ask you to take care of my dead husband's baby?” Mariss growled without giving him a chance to speak. “Fuck you, Sebastian.”
She turned and marched back to the bedroom. Martha's voice rose above the others, her anger and disbelief with her heartless son ringing through the house.
“How dare you, Sebastian,” Martha shouted. “After everything that woman is going through because of you, and you can't even be bothered to help her? How could you say something like that?”
Mariss closed the bedroom door and locked it, shutting out the sounds from the other room. She was having Holden's baby. She shoved her clothes back into her bags, packing everything up so she could leave for the states immediately. She needed to see a doctor as soon as possible. She wasn't going to lose this one. Not this time.
She was having Holden's baby. Mariss smiled and didn't pay attention when Sebastian tried to get into the room.
Mariss unlocked her apartment door. After a month of disuse, it was still in perfect condition, if a little dusty. She made a mental note to have someone come clean it later in the week. Looking around the home she'd shared with Holden, it didn't feel so grim and empty now.
Mariss pressed her hand to her stomach, even though she wasn't showing yet, and smiled. The little piece of Holden growing inside her made everything feel like it was going to be okay.
The landline rang. Mariss dropped her suitcase in the doorway and sauntered over to the phone.
The Red Wife Page 25