Carrie, however, felt so comfortable, so relaxed around this kind stranger that she couldn’t seem to keep her mouth shut. Willie Charles and his nonsense seemed a million miles away. And even her own life, where she was unemployed once again without one single prospect on the horizon, seemed unimportant. What was important to her right here and now was being with this man, this strange man who had a way, by his presence alone, of putting butterflies in her stomach and an odd, caressing sensation in her heart.
She looked around the office that had a window as large as a wall, a window that overlooked the beautiful Jacksonville skyline and made Carrie feel as if she was on top of the world. Then she looked at Robert, who seemed to be studying her. “So what exactly does a CEO do?” she asked him nervously, as she wondered if he liked what he couldn’t seem to stop looking at. “No, let me guess. A CEO does anything he wants to do, right?”
Robert laughed. Again he couldn’t help it. This young woman had a way of cutting to the chase in such an honest, sincere way that some in his profession would find threatening. “Yes,” he said. “That’s exactly it.”
“I didn’t have to serve.”
Robert hesitated. “Pardon?”
“As head cashier at that diner I told you about, I didn’t have to serve the food to the customers. All the other cashiers had to pull double duty like that. But as the head person I didn’t have to. But the manager, he was like our CEO, he didn’t have to ring up or serve or do any of that. He just had to tell us what to do.”
“There you go,” Robert said, suddenly feeling too relaxed to make a move. But when Carrie leaned back on the sofa to where her small arm accidentally pressed against his big arm, as if, in her naive seductiveness, she missed that closeness they shared in the elevator, he knew he had to get away from that. But he couldn’t. To his own astonishment, and to everybody else’s who knew what kind of dour mood he’d been in lately, he seemed to enjoy being close to her too.
“What was your greatest day?” he asked her.
She looked at him with those soulful eyes ready to ask him what did he mean, but they were too close, causing her to suddenly feel queasy and to almost swallow her words. “My greatest day?” she finally asked in response to his question, although she said it nearly breathless.
Her reaction was not lost on Robert, either, who tempered his own response by looking away from her. “You said becoming head cashier was the second greatest day of your life,” he said. “What day had that day beat?”
“Oh,” she said with a smile, relaxing again. “Getting saved, of course. Accepting Christ as my personal Savior. Now that day beat all.” She paused. “What about you?” she asked him.
“What about me?”
“Are you saved?”
There was a hesitation in Robert’s response. Carrie didn’t know if it was because the answer was no, or because he just preferred to keep such matters private. Either way, she was very concerned about his hesitation.
“Yes,” he finally said, although he knew he was a long way from where he used to be in the faith. Sometimes he even wondered if he was still there at all.
“What’s your name?” she asked him, and then looked at him once again. She knew they were too close. She knew she was practically sitting on the man’s lap as if she was some hot mama from way back, but the way he held her in that elevator still gripped her. She was starved for affection. She was dying to find somebody in this world who would be on her side. She needed kindness in her life right now, and somebody who cared. She didn’t believe for a second, however, that this stranger was that person.
“Robert,” he said.
“Robert Kincaid, right?”
He looked at her. They were so close that their mouths were mere inches away. And hers was a beautiful mouth, he thought. “That’s right,” he said as he looked from that mouth to her chest. “How did you know my last name?”
“Willie Charles called you Mr. Kincaid in the elevator. Remember?”
He nodded. He remembered.
“My name is Carrie.”
“Yeah, you told me.”
“Not exactly.”
Robert looked at her. “Excuse me?”
“Carrie is more like a nickname. My middle name is Caroline. Thus Carrie. I’ll tell you my full name if you promise not to laugh.”
Robert almost laughed as soon as she said that. He went from having dinner with one of the most successful females in Jacksonville, not to mention one of the most desirable women period, to sitting in his office playing cross my heart and hope to die games with a former head cashier who was comfortable enough in her own skin to not be intimidated by him. And he was too intrigued with her to not play along. “I promise,” he said.
“Okay. My name is, never to be repeated again, Sojourner Caroline Banks. That’s my real, full name.”
Robert smiled. “Sojourner?”
Carrie sat up and hit him playfully on his arm. “You said you wouldn’t laugh,” she said.
“I didn’t laugh.”
“You smiled.”
“That’s not laughing.”
Carrie smiled too and leaned back against the sofa. Only this time Robert found himself moving closer against her.
“Yep,” she said, “that’s what my mama named me. Sojourner Banks. After Sojourner Truth. The liberator. She helped to free the slaves, you know.” Robert smiled. “Yes, I know.”
“So,” she said, “what do you think?”
Robert swallowed hard. “I think you should be proud of your name, Sojourner,” he said.
Carrie hesitated. That name she hated all her life suddenly sounded sweet when Robert spoke it. “Maybe one day I will,” she said.
There was a long pause, as both Robert and Carrie could feel the heat rising between them. But Carrie just wanted the closeness, she knew she wasn’t about to go any further than this. She, in fact, was amazed that she’d gone this far. But there was something so decent about Robert Kincaid, so spiritual about the man, that she felt completely safe with him.
Robert leaned his head back on the sofa and closed his eyes. He was tired, it had been a long day, but he was also fighting a powerful urge to pull Carrie into his arms. He’d never in his life experienced such a strong tug of emotion just by being with someone, especially someone he hardly even knew. But that was exactly what he was feeling with Carrie. Even her smell, which was a combination of soap and some cheap perfume, had him wanting her. Wanting her? he said to himself. What in the world was he going to do with her if he got her? Then he shook his head. First Tyler breaks up with him, now this. There must be a full moon tonight, he thought.
“So you don’t think Sojourner is a silly name?” she asked him.
“Of course not,” he said, his eyes still closed, his heart thumping just at the sound of her soft, sweet voice.
“My mama picked out that name for me herself.”
“Your mother sounds like a very sharp lady.”
Carrie laughed. “She used to be. Before my daddy put a whipping on her.”
Robert opened his eyes and looked at Carrie, causing her to turn her face up to him. “He beat her?” he asked her.
“Not physically, no. My mama wouldn’t allow no man to be hitting on her, trust me. I mean an emotional whipping. He cheated on her and lied to her and broke her heart. Now she’s real bitter about him and her life in general and why she had to have a stroke when she was in the prime of her life and she just refuses to be comforted. She has wounds that need to be healed, but they won’t heal because she won’t stop feeling the pain.”
Robert hesitated. “It’s not easy to stop feeling pain, Carrie,” he said.
“I didn’t say it was easy. But you have to make a start.”
Robert stared into her eyes. God, she was beautiful, he thought, and so very perceptive. But knowing what to do, and doing it, were two different things. She needed to live a little longer, he decided, then she’ll change her tune too.
He leaned his hea
d back and closed his eyes again. He also found himself, almost as if he couldn’t help himself, putting his arm around her. She snuggled against him, which was what he wanted, and he had to ramp down a sudden and powerful urge to kiss her. That was why he kept his eyes closed.
“Are you originally from Jacksonville?” she asked him.
“No,” he said. “Maryland.”
“Maryland? Goodness. You’re a long way from home.”
In more ways than one, he thought.
“Are you married?” Carrie asked this slowly, but she just had to know. What she didn’t know, however, was that she had just asked the absolute wrong question.
Robert opened his eyes and then moved quickly to get on his feet.
“What’s the matter?” she asked him, stunned by his sudden movement.
“I’d better get to work,” he said.
Carrie felt confused as she stood up too. “I don’t understand—”
“Nothing to understand, I promise you. I just realized why I came up here in the first place. I’ve got a ton of work to do.”
Carrie just stood there, horrified that she’d said something wrong. Robert’s heart ached watching her, and he wanted to reassure her, to make it clear that his apprehension had nothing whatsoever to do with her, but he didn’t do it. It would be better if she believed him to be the uncaring fink he was, he decided.
“It was nice meeting you, Carrie,” he said as he began heading for his office door, to let her out.
Carrie nervously followed him. She felt a little disjointed by this abrupt ending, and she couldn’t help but wonder why it had to end like this. But he seemed so different now, so determined to get her out of his way, that she didn’t even attempt to question the change.
“Goodnight,” she said with a forced but cheerful smile and wave when it was apparent to her that he wasn’t even going to shake her hand.
“Goodbye, Carrie,” Robert replied, and without watching her leave, or offering her an experienced word of caution about men like Willie Charles, he closed his door behind her.
Ten minutes later, after he had rounded up his paperwork and should have headed for home, he couldn’t seem to get a move on. He couldn’t stop thinking about Carrie. Her big, innocent green eyes still haunted him. And when the thought of how Willie Charles had terrified her still riled him, still angered him, he pressed the intercom button for the guard station downstairs. “Hank?”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Kincaid,” the strong, clear voice of the building’s security guard chimed on.
“Find Willie Payton and bring him to my office.”
The Guard did not hesitate or question the request in any way. “Yes, sir, Mr. Kincaid,” he replied.
EIGHT
Tired wasn’t the word by the time Carrie sat down on the city bus. She was exhausted. She’d waited nearly an hour for the bus to arrive, and during that entire time she was terrified that Willie Charles would see her and try to come after her again. Now that she was safely away from the Dyson building and everything (and everybody) associated with that building, she was just beginning to feel relieved. She was also, however, beginning to feel very disappointed. This was supposed to be the job opportunity that would launch her life. This was supposed to be the springboard to her independence. But now she was unemployed again, with little money left from the paycheck she received before she left Georgia, and all of her once high hopes seemed dashed beneath her feet.
The bus rolled on in stops and starts and she looked out of the window at busy downtown Jacksonville. So beautiful it was at night, she thought. So serene. People who lived in their fancy condominiums along the river, people who worked in the fancy office buildings along the strip, all coming and going and living out the American dream as if it was their birthright. They tossed around a hundred dollar bill on one night out, when Carrie didn’t even know where her next meal was coming from.
She thought she could rely on Popena. She thought her big sister would have her back until she could get on her feet and make her own way. But Popena was still bitter, still nursing the wounds from her own hard life, and she had no ability to prop up a kid sister.
Carrie leaned her head back and tried hard not to think any more about her life, or Popena, or what in the world was she going to do next. It was easy, at first, because she couldn’t stop thinking about Robert. Robert Kincaid. The stranger who had held her in his big arms. If there was ever anybody nicer than that man, she’d like to see him. And talk about good looking. His cool good looks made her want to swoon. And although everything about him reeked of authority and snobbishness, there was still something very good and decent about him, she felt, as if he was somebody who’d stay in her corner. It was laughable, she knew, given that she didn’t even really know the man, but that was how she felt.
Carrie also felt, however, that she couldn’t count on Robert Kincaid or anybody or anything else she had no control over. She had to find a job. That was her immediate concern. She therefore began to concentrate on her strategy, on how she was going to search the want ads first thing tomorrow morning; how she was going to visit hotels and motels, office buildings and grocery stores, and every fast food place in town until somebody, somewhere offered her employment. Although Popena had let her down, and her mother and Dale and everybody else had disturbed her sense of triumph, she knew the Lord would stand with her. She therefore decided, as the bus headed out of downtown toward the eastside, to her side, to stop being so driven by faithlessness and put her hopes in Him.
“Excuse me,” a voice said and she turned to find an obese woman with a wide, smiling face and small, cat eyes, in the seat just behind her.
“Yes?”
“You Mona’s sister, ain’t you?”
Carrie hesitated. She was still trying to get used to Popena’s “stage” name. “Yes,” she said.
The woman smiled even greater. “I’m Millie Rawlings. I live downstairs from y’all.” Before Carrie could say a word, the woman grabbed her large pocketbook and moved up and sat next to Carrie. She was an older woman, maybe as old as forty, and her big bulk caused her to grunt when she sat down.
“You just getting off work?” she asked Carrie. “ I am too. I work at Jetson’s. You ever hear tell of Jetson’s? It’s one of the nicest restaurants in town, yes it is. Where you work?” She said this as she looked at Carrie’s sweatshirt. “Myers Cleaning Service. I heard of y’all. A man name Willie Charles supervise the night crew, don’t he?”
“Yes,” Carrie said. Don’t remind her, she wanted to say.
“I don’t care for him at all.”
Carrie looked at her. “You don’t?”
“I sure don’t. He ain’t my cup of tea. Too fresh for me.”
Carrie smiled. “My name is Carrie,” she said. “Carrie Banks.”
“You ain’t from around here, are you, Carrie?”
“Nope. I’m from Georgia.”
“Georgia? Girl, me too. As if you couldn’t tell by my country behind. What part?”
“Attapulgus. It’s just outside of Bainbridge.”
“Now you ain’t got to tell me where no Attapulgus at. I’m from Clarkston, child, so you know I know where Attapulgus at.”
Carrie laughed. “Yeah, your town isn’t much bigger than mine.”
“Except we got a hospital.”
“Okay.”
“And don’t you worry about being the country girl around here. You gonna find real quick that many of these folks ‘round Jacksonville hail from Georgia or other down home places like that.”
“Is that right?”
“Goodness yes. They be trying to act like they don’t know what a backwater is, but they know better than you and me. What church you go to? You are a Christian, right?”
Carrie had to hesitate to slow Millie down. Then she nodded. “Yes, I am. But I just got in town yesterday. I haven’t had a chance to look for a church yet.”
“Good. You can come to mine. It’s just around the corner from Dr
esel Street, on Phoenix. Right in walking distance. You’ll love it.”
Carrie thanked her, telling her how she aimed to take her up on her offer, then silence ensued. Carrie began once again looking out of the window while Millie continued to look at her. Finally, Millie spoke again. “Okay,” she said. “What else is bothering you?”
Carrie looked down, then she looked at Millie. The look in her eyes, it seemed to Millie, said it all. “This new town, new life, ain’t been what you thought it was gonna be, has it, Carrie?”
Carrie shook her head. “It hasn’t been anything like I thought it would be.”
“God is able, girl. Don’t you worry about a thing. It’ll get better for you. It’ll get better before it gets worse.”
“It can’t get much worse. I got fired tonight.”
Millie’s small eyes suddenly widened with surprise. “Fired?” she said. “What happened?”
“Willie Charles was trying to get fresh with me and I just didn’t wanna have anything to do with that.”
Millie shook her head. “That’s a shame. That man oughta be ashamed of hisself. And because you wouldn’t fool around with him he out-and-out fired you?”
“He didn’t come out and say it, but I couldn’t work under those conditions.”
“‘Course not. You can report him, you know, maybe get his butt fired.”
Carrie quickly shook her head. “No. I’ll just find me another job, that’s all.”
“You better than me, girl,” Millie said, “‘cause if that was me? Hun! I’ll tell his boss and anybody else willing to listen. Let him know he picked the wrong one to mess with this time.”
Carrie didn’t say anything. She knew she should do exactly as Millie was suggesting, if for no other reason than to help other female employees who had to cross his path. But she just couldn’t muster the energy for that kind of fight. All she wanted was a job, a place of her own, a chance to make a start in life. She was twenty-four years old and was tired of setbacks, tired of putting her needs on hold for the sake of others when they never appreciated it anyway, tired of fighting other people’s battles when she couldn’t even fight her own. This sorry excuse for a life was all she had now. There was nothing back in Georgia. This was it.
A Special Relationship Page 6