How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household

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How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household Page 44

by Blu Greenberg


  MAGGID

  telling the Passover story

  RACHTZAH

  washing the hands

  MOTZI MATZAH

  blessings over the matzah

  MAROR

  eating the bitter herb

  KORECH

  the sandwich

  SHULCHAN ORECH

  the festival meal

  TZAFUN

  eating the afikoman

  BARECH

  Grace After Meals

  HALLEL

  Hallel

  NIRTZAH

  conclusion

  We “introduce” the seder by singing out the order in Hebrew, in rhymed verse—a mnemonic device.

  1. Kadesh: Cups of wine are filled, and then the Kiddush is sung. In some homes, only the leader of the seder recites the Kiddush, while the others answer Amen. In other homes, all sing the Kiddush together. The most common custom is to stand for Kiddush and to sit for drinking. A sip will not do: one must drink at least a rov-kos, at least half the cup. This is so for each of the four/five cups of wine. Although pillows are at our seats, it is difficult to actually recline throughout the entire service, when one is sitting erect at a table. While drinking the four cups, however, we do recline leftwise against a pillow. Why to the left? Ritual often has practical meaning: (a) Because the esophagus is to the left. Were we to lean to the right, there would be danger of food going down the windpipe. (b) To the left, so that we can hold a cup steady with our right hand.

  2. U’rechatz: Next, the ritual washing of the hands. Since no bread will be eaten, no blessing over handwashing is recited. The Talmud tells us that the eating of any food dipped in liquid requires a prior washing of the hands. This is done by filling a cup with water and pouring it over each hand, two or three times, alternating hands.

  3. Karpas: Thus, we are ready to dip the vegetable in salt water. This is the first dipping ritual. Why dipping? So the children should ask, as they will a moment later, in the Ma Nishtana. One answer: salt water is like the sweat and tears of a people in bondage.

  Some people say only a small amount of vegetable should be eaten; others say half or a whole potato per person. We follow the latter custom, which makes much more sense. I’m sure this was thoughtfully introduced by the Rabbis to stave off light-headedness from half a cup of wine on an empty stomach; also, to enable us to concentrate on the epic-telling part of the seder and not on what otherwise would be a growling stomach.

  4. Yachatz: Taking out the middle of the three matzot, the seder leader breaks it into uneven halves. He wraps the larger part in a napkin and squirrels it away for afikoman. This ingenious device, probably more than any other part of the seder, has been single-handedly responsible for keeping children alert throughout. From the moment the seder leader wraps the half matzah in a napkin, the children keep their eye on it. At the first opportunity, they “steal” this afikoman and then hide it. Ransomed, it might be worth a king’s fortune. Experienced parents of young children offer this advice: To prevent youthful tears, intrigue, power plays, and manipulation, simply announce at the outset that the afikoman is a collective enterprise. It belongs to the whole pack and not to any one child.

  5. Maggid: The seder plate is lifted for an instant, and the matzot are uncovered. This signifies the beginning of the hag-gadah, the telling of the story. After the opening passage of ha lachma anya, the matzot are again covered, the wine cups refilled, and the youngest child proceeds to recite the Ma Nishtanah, the four questions:

  How different is this night from all other nights? On all other nights we may eat either chametz or matzah; why on this night only matzah? On all other nights we eat other kinds of herbs; why on this night bitter herbs? On all other nights we do not even dip the herbs once; why on this night do we dip twice? On all other nights we eat either sitting or reclining; why on this night do we all recline?

  The matzot are again uncovered and remain in view as we begin to answer these questions by reciting the haggadah. These are verses from the Torah and Talmud, tales, allegories, commentaries, psalms of praise, plagues, miracles, songs, and rituals. Cut and dried, the whole section can be read in half an hour, but no one ever does it cut and dried. It is designed to invite questions, reflections, comments, interpretations—old ones, as well as those inspired on the spot. Unlike other forms of prayer, which should not be interrupted, seder participants are encouraged to explain, interpret, and otherwise comment on the events of the Exodus, interrupting at any point to do so. In some families, all read the haggadah aloud together; in others, individual members take turns reading solo while the others follow. Any combination is fine, as long as the story gets told. A good Maggid can take upwards of two hours. Maggid concludes with the second cup of wine.

  6. Rachtzah: The ritual washing of the hands, with its blessing.

  7. Motzi matzah: The two whole squares and one-half square of matzah are now held up by the leader of the seder, and the hamotzi blessing is recited. Then, the bottom matzah is put down. While still holding the top and half of the middle matzah, the seder leader recites the special matzah blessing “… Who has commanded us to eat matzah.” Each person receives a piece of the top whole matzah (a symbol of freedom) and a piece of the broken middle matzah (a symbol of slavery). These are to be eaten together while reclining to the left.

  8. Maror: The bitter herb is taken and dipped into the charoset; the blessing over eating maror is recited. This is the second act of dipping.

  9. Korech: A sandwich is made out of pieces from the bottom matzah, with maror in between. We are instructed: “Matzot and bitter herbs shall you eat.” In rabbinic times, there was a difference of opinion as to whether this meant matzah and maror should be eaten separately, or eaten together. The latter interpretation was offered by Hillel, the first century rabbi who lived while the Temple still stood. Although the majority rabbinic opinion concluded that the mitzvah—or, rather, mitzvot—is to eat matzah and maror separately (as we did a moment ago), we nevertheless also acknowledge Hillel’s custom by reciting a description of it and then eating the “Hillel sandwich.”

  10. Shulchan Orech: The meal. A regular festive meal is served. Some begin with the eggs dipped in salt water. Chicken soup and matzah balls are a standard treat at the seder meal. It is a custom not to serve roast meat at the seder because of its similarity to the roasted lamb that was used for the Paschal sacrifice which is forbidden to us since the Churban. While it is hardly likely that anyone would misconstrue or mistake a slice of roast beef for the Paschal sacrifice, nevertheless, cooking in a different way for this night does remind us of the life of Jews in Temple times. In our house, we serve a pan-braised brisket, simmered in water and spices; also, boiled chicken, which is delicious once a year.

  11. Tzafun: Means hidden. After a search that is more show than search, parents negotiate to ransom the afikoman, which the children have hidden. The afikoman is the final part of the meal, the halachic dessert which follows the culinary dessert. It commemorates the Paschal lamb which was the last item to be eaten at the seder meal in Temple times. The children know we cannot conclude the seder without the afikoman, so they bargain for a game, a toy, a bicycle, a sweater—whatever the market will bear. A piece of afikoman is distributed to everyone, and the meal has concluded. There is no more eating that night after the afikoman.

  12. Barech: The Grace. A third cup of wine is filled and the Birkat Hamazon is recited. Grace concludes with the blessing and drinking of the third cup of wine.

  Immediately, the cups are again filled, as is the large goblet set aside for Elijah. Someone goes to open the door for Elijah. A brief prayer is recited. It is a hymn that was entered late into the haggadah during the Middle Ages. It was at the time of the blood libels when Jews were accused of mixing Gentile blood into their matzah. Jews were sorely victimized as a result of the blood libels, and this prayer, in essence, asks God for revenge against our enemies.

  The overall tone of the haggadah service is one of compassi
on, even for the Egyptians. For example, in the Maggid section, when we tell the story of the ten plagues, we remove a drop of wine from our cups at the mention of each plague, to symbolize that our joy is not complete, our cup runneth not over; for even though the Egyptians deserved that punishment, we feel some remorse that our redemption was brought about through the suffering of others.

  But here, at the cup of Elijah, who will ultimately herald the messenger of redemption, we ask forthrightly for revenge against our enemies. In some homes, it has been a custom to insert a memorialization to the victims of the Holocaust who collectively suffered more than slaves and more than blood libel victims.

  Opening the door represents not only a welcome to Elijah through the front door, it also makes the statement that we are not afraid, despite the dangers we face as Jews—because we have faith in the Ultimate Redeemer and in a final redemption.

  In some haggadot, this ceremony of Elijah’s cup is bracketed as part of the Hallel section; in others, it is the concluding part of barech. Whichever, the front door is closed, the fourth cup of wine is poured, and the mood shifts, as we now turn to Hallel.

  13. Hallel: Songs of praise. Actually, half of the Hallel was recited earlier, as part of the Maggid recitation, so only the remaining half is recited now, plus several additional psalms of praise and thanksgiving. There are many melodies that developed around the particular verses of Hallel, and the family sings these together.

  14. Nirtzah: This is the concluding part of the seder. As we call out the word, our minds fly momentarily to Yom Kippur, at the end of Ne’ilah—the only other time of year when we call out the same word. The words mean acceptance, which we now request. Technically, as after Ne’ilah, our formal prayer requirements for the seder service have been completed, and we ask that our prayers and praises be acceptable; we also ask that we be privileged to celebrate the seder service again next year and the years thereafter. Like all of Jewish prayer, we never end at the ending. We add a few more songs, a few more hymns, a few more memories. Some of the favorite seder songs, such as “Ehad Mi Yo’deah” (“Who Knows One?”) and “Chad Gadya” (“One Kid”), are part of the concluding Nirtzah section. These songs motivate the children to stay awake until the very end. The final song is the song that has symbolized the ultimate redemption for Jews for two thousand years—“L’Shana Ha’ba’ah Be’Yerushalayim,” “Next Year in Jerusalem.”

  For one who is not familiar with the melodies and words of the seder, there are now tapes and records of the seder service that can be played any number of times before the holiday. The seder, in great measure, is designed to hold the interest of children throughout, and it helps if they have familiarity with its song and verse.

  THE SECOND SEDER

  In the Diaspora, a second seder is celebrated on the eve of the second day. With some very minor exceptions, the two sedarim are exactly the same. Or, as a friend says to his father each year before the second seder begins, “Do it again, Dad, until you get it right!” To some extent, the second seder is anticlimactic. Certain distaff members of my extended family claim that one of the bonuses of settling in Israel is having only one seder.

  LITURGY

  The regular festival liturgy is followed, including Hallel recited every day, and the Yizkor memorial service recited on the eighth day. There are some special additions to the holiday liturgy, most notably: Tefilat Tal, the prayer for dew, recited during Mussaf of the first day; and the counting of the Omer, beginning with the second night. There are also special Torah readings, such as the entire eight chapters of Song of Songs, read on the intermediate Shabbat; the Vision of the Dry Bones in the Book of Ezekiel; and the story of the crossing of the Red Sea, which took place on the seventh day of the Exodus and is read on the seventh day of Pesach, as is the song of thanksgiving that Moses sang.

  Moreover, during Pesach, we switch over to our “summer wardrobe” of prayers. At Minchah, on the first day, we drop the verse, “Who brings the winds and brings down the rains.” We substitute for it, “Who brings the dew.” And beginning with the first Maariv of Chol Hamoed—which starts the third day of Pesach—and until winter rolls around again, the ninth of the eighteen benedictions is slightly reworded to adapt to our needs in nature. We ask God to give us blessings on the earth rather than to give us rain.

  THE COUNTING OF THE OMER

  The Omer count is a prime example of the layering that can take place when a religion is both ancient and modern. Through successive generations and events in history, new layers of meaning have been attached to this particular ritual. In thinking about the Omer and its sweep through history, I feel a sensation that must be similar to that experienced by an archaeologist as he/she examines a cross section of a geological formation and breathtakingly considers its strata.

  But first, what is the Omer? It is a simple counting ritual. We count one day and then two, all the way up to forty-nine. Starting with the second night of Pesach, which is one on the Omer count, we count each day until we reach Shavuot, seven weeks later. That’s all it is: a benediction on the mitzvah of counting, and a one-line count. Often it is concluded with a very brief (nine-word) recitation, and some people add a short introductory verse. With everything, it still takes no more than sixty seconds, and yet it summons up several of the most crucial periods of Jewish history.

  It all starts with a commandment from the Torah: “And from the day after the Sabbath [Pesach], the day on which you bring the omer [a measure of barley] of wave offering, you shall count seven full weeks.”

  Thus, on the sixteenth of Nissan, the day after Pesach began, a measure of barley was brought to the Temple. It was offered as a symbol of thanksgiving and as a plea to God to protect the harvest from injurious winds, a matter of great consequence in an agricultural society. The forty-nine days of consecutive counting came to be known as Sefirat Ha’Omer or simply “Sefirah,” the counting.

  But why count for forty-nine days? They could have marked Shavuot on their ancient calendars, as they did other holidays, and celebrated it in its proper time. The Rabbis explained that this was in order that the people not lose sight of the connection between the physical redemption and revelation. The counting of days links one to the other, with Shavuot providing closure to Pesach.

  After the destruction of the Temple, when there was no more barley offering, the Omer count served as a reminder of yearning for redemption and return to the land. It is then that the concluding Harachaman verse was added, a plea that the Temple worship be restored. … It is by means of that continuous longing that the Jewish people managed to keep the dream of redemption alive.

  During the post-Churban era, symbols and expressions of mourning were attached to the Sefirah period: marriages were prohibited, musical instruments were not used, the cutting of hair was not permitted. There are a number of medieval sources that associate this particular period of mourning with the plague which, the Talmud describes, decimated the school of Rabbi Akiva, killing many thousands of his disciples. Some sources explain that on the thirty-third day of the Omer, the plague was miraculously interrupted, and no more of Akiva’s students died. Another tradition connects the days of the Omer to Bar Kochba, the Jewish general thought by Akiva to be the political messiah. Bar Kochba led the revolt against Roman Emperor Hadrian who persecuted the Jews, in particular scholars such as Akiva. On the thirty-third day of the Omer (Lag B’Omer), the persecutions momentarily stopped; the revolt had a change of fortune. Although it was ultimately defeated, the glorious moment was not forgotten. Thus, today, on the thirty-third day of Omer, there is a pause in the mourning restrictions: weddings are performed, music, haircuts—all are permitted. Yeshiva day schools and Jewish youth organizations often schedule outings or picnics on Lag B’Omer.

  In modern times, the Sefirah period coincides with the season of the Warsaw Ghetto Revolt and the days set aside for Holocaust Commemoration—when the mood of mourning is altogether appropriate. However, also during this Sefirah period,
we celebrate the rebirth of Israel and the reunification of Jerusalem. Thus, after so many years of the Omer count, there are two additional days that interrupt the mourning: Yom Ha’Atzmaut and Yom Yerushalayim. Hallel is recited; some rabbis perform weddings on both days; some only on Yom Yerushalayim.

  Procedure. The counting ritual is performed at night, preferably right after nightfall following Maariv.

  The blessing:

  Baruch ata Adonai Elohainu melech ha’olam asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu al sefirat ha-omer.

  Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Who has sanctified us with His commandments, and commanded us regarding the counting of the Omer.

  Then immediately we state what day of the count it is. For example:

  Hayom yom revi’i laomer.

  Today is the fourth day of the Omer.

  After seven days, we state both the number of days and its equivalent in weeks. For example:

  Today is the thirtieth day of the Omer, which is four weeks and two days of Omer.

  Or

  Today is the forty-sixth day of the Omer, which is six weeks and four days of Omer.

  The reason for this double count is that the Torah states in one place:

  And you shall count fifty days.

  And in another:

  And you shall count seven full weeks.

  So to be properly correct, we do both.

  After the declaration of day, many Jews recite the prayer:

  Harachaman hu yachazir lanu et avodat bet hamikdosh limkomah.

  May the Merciful One restore to us the service of the Temple in its place.

  The Omer should be recited standing and at night after dark. If you should forget at night, there is still the next day in which to count—but without the blessing: only the declaration of days is made. The next night, you may resume the count with the blessing again. If, however, you’ve missed an entire day, it is as if you’ve broken the continuous thread of counting and, therefore, while you may—and should—resume declaring the days until Shavuot, you do so without the b’racha.

 

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