Mine for Ever

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by Barbara Cartland


  “He is so very busy in Parliament,” Lilliana said to her mother crossly, “and when he is at home he either has someone with him, or else he is shut up in his study. He never seems to have time for us anymore.”

  “You must not complain so, my dear, it is his work and we must accept it,” was her mother’s pragmatic reply.

  “But Papa used to always include us whenever he was entertaining,” she protested. “Now, he either shuts himself away or shuttles his visitors in and out before we even have a chance to make their acquaintance.”

  “Don’t trouble your head with it, Lilliana. It is not a personal slight upon either of us – it is just the way your father wishes to manage his life at present.”

  Turning away from her mother, Lilliana sat down on the sofa sighing and thinking again of Robert.

  After such a long time apart, she often believed she had dreamt everything that had happened in the garden.

  It was only the fact that she now had a photograph of him in his uniform that made it real.

  “Till St. Valentine’s Day,” it read on the reverse of the photograph.

  But would that day ever come?

  Her thoughts were interrupted by Holmes, bringing a letter for her on a silver salver.

  “Is it from India?” she asked, hopefully.

  “I believe so, miss,” he replied with a smile.

  She picked up the letter eagerly and turned it over. It smelled faintly of an exotic aroma she could not name, and the writing on it was so dear she almost kissed it.

  “From the Earl?” asked her mother, casually.

  “Yes, Mama.”

  “Then I shall leave you to read it in peace.”

  With a beating heart, Lilliana carefully opened it, delighted to see that it was a long letter on three sheets.

  “My dearest Lilliana,” it began.

  She read each word carefully – savouring every last one. The Earl told her how much he missed her and that his heart was hers for ever.

  “The campaign is taking longer than we could have anticipated,” it continued, “and I fear that now I will not be able to fulfil my promise of being home for Christmas.”

  ‘Oh!’ cried Lilliana, feeling alarmed. ‘Although I had suspected that might be the case, it is quite another thing to have one’s worst fears confirmed!’

  “Life is very hectic out here in Bombay,” the letter continued, “there are so many distractions from the routine of our task here. So far the threatened uprising is yet to materialise but we are aware that the current peaceful air is deceptive. One cannot tell what will happen next.

  I have attended many grand balls and have had to content myself with the fact that even though it might be another lady I dance with, in my heart it is always you!

  I recently attended a magnificent affair at the house of Lady Marlow, who is the epitome of hospitality. She has ensured that I have felt as much at home as possible and we have taken many rides in this strange country.”

  A cold creeping fear gripped Lilliana’s heart. Who was this woman who was obviously taking great trouble to entertain him?

  She scarcely took in the rest of the letter – she was horrified to find other mentions of Lady Marlow.

  Even though Robert wrote again that he loved her, she could only focus on the spectre of this woman who had suddenly sprung up between them.

  She mentioned it to her mother during luncheon.

  “Oh, I am certain she is just another well-meaning, bored woman,” was all she said, after Lilliana had told her what the Earl had written.

  But her tone belied that she was concerned too.

  After the meal Lilliana could not stand pacing the house any longer, so she rang for Antoinette and asked for the carriage to be made ready for her.

  “I now wish to visit Elizabeth,” she said, putting the letter carefully into a drawer.

  Fifteen minutes later she was into the carriage and heading for the other side of the village.

  The two girls had been friends since the days when they both attended Sunday school.

  ‘I have to tell someone,’ resolved Lilliana, as the carriage drew up at Elizabeth’s home. ‘I can trust her with my secret, but I have to tell someone!’

  The butler was waiting to greet her as she climbed down from the carriage.

  “Good afternoon, Miss Parker,” he intoned, “Miss Elizabeth is in the drawing room.”

  “Lilliana!” exclaimed Elizabeth, putting down her book and standing to embrace her.

  “Oh, Elizabeth! I am terrified that Robert has met someone else out in India!”

  Elizabeth took her gently by the hand and led her to the sofa and bade her sit down.

  “I cannot believe this has happened. Why do you think it to be true?”

  “I had a letter from him this morning – the contents of which disturbed me. He made several references to a Lady Marlow who was keeping him entertained with balls and parties. Oh, Elizabeth, what if he has fallen in love with her?”

  “Oh, you are a silly goose! He would not write and tell you about her if there was anything between them! In this letter did he say that he still loved you?”

  “Yes, more than once.”

  “And did he say that he misses you?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Then what are you worrying about? I know how hard it is for you to have the man you love so far away, but he does love you and Robert is not a cad.”

  “No, that is true, but you see, there is something I have not told you.”

  Elizabeth’s eyes widened a little as she waited for Lilliana to elaborate.

  “We are secretly engaged!”

  Elizabeth let out a gasp and threw her arms around her friend.

  “That is wonderful, but why did you not tell me?”

  “He has sworn me to secrecy. Even my Mama and Papa do not know, but oh, Elizabeth, I could not continue to keep it to myself! It has been difficult enough as it is, but then, when I received this latest letter – ”

  “You must not see things that are not there, but tell me, why did he ask you to keep it a secret? I must confess that is rather curious. You must wish you could shout it from the rooftops!”

  Lilliana suddenly felt rather foolish – she had not questioned the Earl’s request for secrecy, but now, she had the sneaking feeling that perhaps Elizabeth might be right.

  “It is his General. Apparently he does not like his Officers to be engaged. He prefers them to be single.”

  “How very odd!” remarked Elizabeth. “What if his Officers are already married?”

  “Then apparently he accepts it, but it is not quite as simple as all that, because Robert wishes to relinquish his Commission after this trip to India and he does not want to jeopardise his Army record.”

  “Then I can appreciate his reluctance to agree to a formal announcement, but surely, he could not object to your parents knowing? They would be delighted!”

  “I know and it grieves me to have to keep the news from them. But Papa is a Member of Parliament and the penny dreadfuls have a way of finding these things out.

  “Robert had hoped he would be home by now, but he says he may have to stay in India for some months yet. We had discussed getting married on St. Valentine’s Day.”

  “That is a pity, it would have been very romantic! But do not give up hope, Lilliana, things do change.”

  “No, it is far more likely that he will be detained even further. And the longer he is away from me and this Lady Marlow has the opportunity to get her claws into him, the more distant I feel he becomes!”

  “Nonsense, you must trust him! He loves you – he has asked you to marry him, why on earth should he look at another?”

  “I want to believe that is the case, but men can be so secretive.”

  “No more than women. Why do you say that?”

  “I was thinking of Papa. Oh, Elizabeth, I believe he may be caught up in something. He is never at home these days and when he is, there is a long
procession of shady gentlemen in the house and lots of closed doors.”

  “He is a Member of Parliament, I would imagine a lot of his dealings must be very secret.”

  “No, it is more than that, Elizabeth, I think he is involved in something illegal! I overheard a conversation in the study which I will not report in full – but it gave me every indication that something was afoot.”

  In spite of her resolution Lilliana began to cry.

  Elizabeth did all she could to comfort her, but even she felt worried at this latest development.

  ‘Robert is a man, after all, and men are vulnerable to the attentions of attractive women when they are so far from their sweethearts,’ she thought wisely. ‘And as for Lilliana’s Papa – well, it would not be the very first time he has been embroiled in a scandal!’

  She was thinking about the rumours of vote-rigging she had heard her parents discussing not long after Lilliana had turned eighteen.

  Elizabeth had never brought up the matter with her friend, as it had been rather embarrassing and, as the matter had not been proven, she thought it best not mention it.

  Lilliana was so innocent in the ways of the world – which was one of the reasons that the Earl loved her so and why Elizabeth felt protective of her friend.

  “Come, let’s not dwell on all this. We should now be planning Christmas celebrations. Will you be attending the Midnight service? I do so love it!”

  Lilliana brightened visibly.

  “Yes, of course. Mama will join us, but I fear that Papa will be too tired. He does work so very hard.”

  “And for Christmas Day?”

  “Relations will be arriving for dinner and then there will be some music. It would have been Robert’s and my first Christmas together.”

  “And you will have many more to look forward to! Now, come, I shall ring for tea.”

  Lilliana emerged an hour later feeling much better.

  It had been a huge relief to share her problems and to tell someone at last about her secret engagement.

  Not for the first time she wished that she had some outward token of the Earl’s intent. Foolish as it was, a ring would have made her feel so much more secure.

  *

  It was growing dark by the time Lilliana’s carriage returned home.

  Walking into the hall, she could hear the sound of laughter coming from the drawing room.

  ‘It sounds like Mama and Papa have company!’ she thought, excitedly, as Holmes took her coat and hat.

  She ran to the drawing room and opened the door.

  “Ah, here is my daughter, Lilliana,” said her father, beaming.

  Lilliana was surprised to see that the guest stood up and clicked his heels together in a rather military fashion.

  He was short and dark with a clipped moustache and a square jaw. Even before he spoke she could see that he was not English.

  “Charming, exquisite!” he smiled with a look that was unashamed in its appraisal of her.

  “Lilliana, this is a very good friend, Count Nicolai Vaslaski. He is from Russia.”

  Lilliana bobbed a curtsy.

  ‘Russian! Goodness! What would Robert say!’ she thought to herself, as she sat down on the sofa.

  “I was just telling the Count that a friend of yours is out in India,” added her father, setting down his teacup.

  “Darling, he is Lilliana’s sweetheart!” corrected her mother fondly, as if to remind him of his importance.

  “A sweetheart? Oh, I am so wounded!” said Count Nicolai with a smile that sickened Lilliana. “Where is he stationed?”

  “In Bombay,” replied Lilliana, accepting the glass of sherry that Holmes was proffering and wishing that she could have said that the Earl was her fiancé.

  “Ah, yes. I have not been fortunate enough to visit that particular city. I have been to Kabul and Delhi.”

  “Kabul is in Afghanistan, is it not?” asked her father.

  “Yes, the situation on the borders has been tense for many years.”

  “The Earl mentioned something about ‘The Great Game’,” added Lilliana, hoping to sound informed.

  The Count laughed out loud and then apologised as he saw Lilliana’s horrified expression.

  “You must excuse me, but we Russians have a very similar name for it! We will soon win back the North – it is only a matter of time before we take the border lands and then we shall press forward.”

  “I don’t think it is right that Russia should seek to take what belongs to England,” retorted Lilliana, “how can it be? And so many innocents suffer in the process. I have heard tales of women and children being killed – ”

  “Lilliana! That is quite enough! The Count does not wish to hear your opinions on subjects you know very little about!” interrupted her father tersely.

  “I apologise, Papa,” said Lilliana, meekly with her face burning in embarrassment. She felt so strongly about the matter as she feared so for the safety of her loved one.

  The Count simply chuckled and shook his head.

  “No, don’t apologise. It is good that your daughter has opinions. I am always in admiration of women who are prepared to show that they have minds of their own! I am rather fond of spirited women!”

  He gave her a lingering look that made her blush.

  “I think that we should talk about something other than politics,” suggested her mother. “I don’t wish to have indigestion before I have even eaten!”

  Skilfully she changed the topic of conversation to something much less sensitive. Lady Parker hated to have any kind of confrontation or unpleasantness in her home.

  Just then, Holmes entered to announce that dinner was served and Lilliana was very pleased that she was not placed next to the Count.

  While he and her Papa sat at the top of the table, discussing politics, Lilliana and her mother said very little.

  Several times she looked up, only to see the Count staring at her.

  After the men retired for port and cigars, Lilliana feigned tiredness and retired upstairs.

  She felt most uncomfortable that her father should be entertaining a man she considered to be an enemy and wondered why her mother allowed it.

  ‘Surely, this cannot be right?’ she mused. ‘I cannot imagine anyone else would have Russians to dinner in the current climate! What can Papa be up to?’

  She was still pondering this conundrum as she blew out the candle next to her bed.

  *

  The next day Lilliana decided to go into Winchester to do some shopping. There were still one or two gifts that she needed to buy for Christmas and she wished to have a new gown made.

  After a couple of hours wandering around the town, she became tired and thirsty.

  She got into her carriage with her parcels and asked the coachman to take her to the Winchester Royal Hotel, which she knew served an excellent tea.

  By the time she arrived, there was a queue for the restaurant and the Head Waiter gave her a sorrowful look.

  “I am sorry, madam, the restaurant is full. If you can wait, I might be able to seat you in half an hour.”

  “Goodness! That long?” asked Lilliana, feeling as if she might faint if she was not able to sit down and have something to eat and drink very soon.

  “I am sorry, madam, but we are very busy today.

  Lilliana could have cried.

  She had set her heart on having tea there and could not face the long ride back home without sustenance!

  At that particular moment a good-looking elderly couple walked towards the restaurant.

  “Ah, my Lord, good afternoon! Your usual table?”

  “Only if this young lady, who is in front of us, has been looked after,” the man said, beaming at Lilliana.

  “I am afraid, my Lord, we are full. I have asked the young lady to wait until there is a free table available.”

  “That will never do! Just look at the poor girl – she looks ghastly white!”

  His wife hurried over to Lillia
na.

  “Are you feeling all right, my dear?” she asked.

  “I am afraid I have tired myself out this afternoon. That is all. I will be perfectly well in a moment.”

  A dark sea swam in front of Lilliana’s eyes and she swayed slightly.

  “You must have tea with us!”

  Lilliana was taken to a table and the elderly couple sat down and very soon there was a cup of tea before her and a plate of sandwiches.

  “Thank you very much, I think I might have fainted had you not come along when you did!”

  “We are always happy to have company, my dear. I am the Marchioness of Aldenham and this is my husband, the Marquis.”

  “I am very pleased to make your acquaintance, my name is Lilliana Parker.”

  “Are you the daughter of Sir William Parker MP?” asked the Marquis. “I have seen him at Westminster.”

  “Yes, that is correct,” answered Lilliana, “and we live in Downleigh.”

  “Why, that is not too far away from us!” replied the Marchioness. “Fancy us not having met before today!”

  “Yes, it is rather strange. But Hampshire is a large County and I must admit, I don’t come to Winchester very frequently. Papa spends so much time in London that we do not see him as often as we would like.”

  “That is the lot of a Member of Parliament!” said the Marquis.

  “Does your father have a home in London?” asked the Marchioness, as the cakes arrived at the table.

  “No, we do not. Mama says she has no wish to run two houses.”

  “I can understand. We have a home in Hyde Park, but it is a bit costly to maintain. I was born and bred in the country and like it better than Cities. Do you like London, Miss Parker?”

  “Oh, yes! But I would not want to live there. It is exciting to visit for a short while and then I always long for Hampshire. Is it not the most beautiful County?”

  “It is,” answered the Marquis, “and I am happy to have found a new friend in it! You must ask your father to call on me in London. We could dine at my Club.”

  The Marchioness was about to pour more tea when she noticed the slight figure of a man coming towards them.

  “Oh, dear,” she muttered, under her breath and then forced a smile in the man’s direction.

  Lilliana looked up as he came to a halt by the table.

 

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