The blood pulsing through his ears made it difficult for him to hear anything. His fingers caressed her smooth skin as he moved his hand further up under her dress. He touched against her panties, pleased to find that they were already damp as he rubbed against her through the satiny material. His body was throbbing with the need to possess her, to have her. He forgot about everyone around them; he simply had to be inside of her, to consume her. He was pushing her underwear to the side when she jerked away from him.
Reality was like a slap in the face as it crashed back over her. "Wait! Stop!" She heaved in heaping gulps of air as she braced her hands against his chest and her gaze latched onto his. Emma remained immobile as she waited to see what he was going to do.
Disappointment crashed through him but he dropped his hand away when she glanced anxiously around them. Heat flooded her face, her lashes lowered over her eyes as she adjusted her dress. "Emma..."
Shaking her head, she turned her face away when he tried to grasp hold of her chin. She couldn't look at him again; she couldn't stand to see in his eyes what he probably thought of her right now. She didn't know what she thought of herself. It was one thing to get swept up in a man; it was an entirely different thing to be about ready to screw him in public. And she didn't even know him. What was wrong with her? What had she been thinking?
Ethan moved his other hand away from her hip and rested both of his palms on the wall beside her head. He may have released her but he wasn't ready to let her go anywhere right now, he was nervous she would run and never come back if he did. "You must think... I'm not... This isn't something I do," she muttered.
He stopped her with his hand against her waist when she went to move away from him. "Emma, look at me," he coaxed. She threw her shoulders back, took a deep breath, and finally met his gaze. "We didn't do anything wrong."
"I don't behave like this. I don't almost have sex with people I don't know in public places," she retorted defensively.
The fire in her eyes dared him to disagree with her, to say something different. "I didn't think you did." She was still the color of a Maraschino cherry as her gaze went away from him again. "Really Emma, I didn't. We both just got a little carried away, there's nothing to be ashamed of."
"Yeah." Though she was having a difficult time looking at him and she wasn't completely convinced.
Ethan leaned forward and kissed her forehead in an attempt to soothe her a little more. His erection was still pressing uncomfortably against his jeans, he shifted as he tried to find a more relaxed position but he didn't think that was going to be possible until he was inside of her. Something he had every intention of being before he left this island, but that wasn't going to happen tonight. Right now he had to ease her embarrassment, not make her feel even more pressured.
"Let's go back to the table," he suggested.
"I think I've had enough for tonight."
"I'll walk you home." She opened her mouth to protest but he continued before she could do so. "I'm only going to make sure you get there safely. I'll keep my hands to myself, I promise."
He held his hands up innocently beside his head and smiled at her. She couldn't help but smile back at him as she brushed the hair back from her forehead. Embarrassment over her actions remained but his tone and demeanor helped to ease it. "Ok."
"Let me just tell Issy and Stefan that we're leaving."
He took hold of her hand and turned away from the wall. A few people glanced at them as he led her through the crowd but thankfully most barely noticed them. Mandy and Jill had joined Stefan and Isabelle at the table when they returned. "I'm going to head back to the house," Emma told them.
"I'm ready to go too," Mandy said.
Jill looked at her drink before shrugging; she chugged down the rest of it, and put it on the table. "Let's go then."
Emma turned to Ethan, she was still a little unnerved about what had just transpired between them but she wasn't ready to say goodbye to him just yet. "You don't have to walk with us."
"I've had enough for the night too." There was no way he was going to let her walk around unprotected at night when there were other vampires on this island.
"I think we all have," Isabelle said and rose to her feet.
Ethan had been hoping to have some time alone with Emma, but it didn't look like that was going to happen. Isabelle's eyes focused on their joined hands, she frowned at them before her gaze shot up to his. He could practically see the questions racing through her mind but he had no answers for her and he wasn't ready to search for them just yet either.
CHAPTER 6
Emma stretched and opened her eyes to the sunlight filtering around the edges of the blue curtains she had pulled over the glass patio doors last night. She stared at the material as the events of the night came crashing back over her. Embarrassment curled through her, her face heated at the memory of the wanton way she had behaved, but fresh excitement also spread through her belly as desire pooled inside of her.
She had stopped him last night before it had gone too far but if they hadn't been in that club, she would have given herself to him, of that much she was certain. She shook her head as she sat up in the bed and pulled the sheet off of her. Slipping out of bed, she pondered what was going on with her as she gathered towels for a shower. She'd never been sexually aggressive; in fact, she had been with Tristan for almost six months before they'd had sex. He'd been her first and things had gone so horribly wrong in the end that she'd stayed far away from men for the last year since their relationship had ended.
Never once though had she had the urge to rip Tristan's clothes off of him and have sex in a public place, never once had she'd lost control of herself in such a way. At one point she'd thought that she could love Tristan, she knew now that she'd simply been blinded by his good looks, charm, and the fact that he was the first serious boyfriend she'd ever had. Her parents hadn't been overprotective of her, and though she'd been allowed to date in high school, she'd never really met someone that she liked enough to date for any length of time, let alone sleep with them.
Tristan had broken down her defenses, had woven a spell with his smile, his gifts, and his constant, caring attentiveness. After a year together, she had walked in on him having sex with another woman. That slap in the face had been bad enough, but his dogged persistence at trying to get her back afterward had spiraled into stalker-ish levels that had frightened her enough she'd looked into getting a restraining order against him. Then one day it had suddenly all stopped. She hadn't heard from him in a year, she didn't even know if he was dead or alive. Though she wished him no ill will, she was glad that she was finally rid of him.
Looking back, she knew now that she'd never been in love with him; she'd just liked the idea of finally having a boyfriend. She'd been beguiled by him but more than that she'd always felt like there was something wrong with her. All of her friends dated with ease but she'd never really clicked with a man before, never really had a big crush on someone. Then Tristan started asking her out, and worried that she just might be some kind of a freak, she'd agreed to go out with him after a month of his persistent pursuit.
There had never been any ease to their relationship, at least not on her end, she'd always felt like she was forcing herself through it just so she could be more normal. She hadn't been heartbroken when she'd found him cheating on her, she'd been angry and felt betrayed, but more than anything she'd felt relieved. She finally had a reason to end it with him that wouldn't make her seem as if she was crazy. Tristan had been the whole package on the outside, good looking, pre-law, intelligent and caring. And she'd always had a feeling of unhappiness while with him. Walking in on him with another woman had actually been so freeing that she'd almost given the girl a high-five. Instead, she'd simply closed the door and smiled as she walked away from the room.
Yes, she was definitely a freak, she decided as she shut the water off. A man she'd known for two days had more pull over her than a man she'd spent a year of her
life with. It was crazy, but she found that she was ok with this kind of crazy if it meant she would get a chance to talk to Ethan again, to kiss him, and touch him.
Stepping from the shower, she grabbed the towel and dried off before starting to dress. After Tristan she'd decided to take a break from men. She'd taken some time to salvage her beaten pride and to wash away the bad taste of Tristan's endless phone calls, text messages, gifts, emails, random visits to her dorm room and even her classes. Emma shuddered at the reminder of him sitting in the back of her classes, watching her. The feeling of his eyes on her was so vivid that she had to glance at the window to make sure he wasn't standing there, watching her all over again.
It had gotten so bad in the end that Jill and Mandy wouldn't let her go anywhere alone, and though she had resented the fact that he'd made it that way, she had welcomed their presence. His final gift, a dozen black roses on her doorstep and a note that said he would always love her and that she would always be his, had convinced her it was time to get the police involved. The paperwork for the restraining order was already in the works when everything stopped, Tristan's room was cleared out, and his roommate said he'd just packed up and left. At first she'd been doubtful about that but over the months she had begun to relax again and her life had gradually returned to normal.
And now her life seemed to have just been thrown into chaos all over again. She'd never met anyone that made her feel as unsettled, excited, and turned on as Ethan did. She'd known Tristan for a while before she'd discovered his secrets and mental issues. She barely knew Ethan and yet she was already acting reckless and he was making her forget about her decision to stay away from men for the time being. She had to be careful and tread lightly here but she didn't know how to do that around him. He made her feel as if someone had just thrown her into the deep end of the ocean.
Emma stepped out of the room and hurried down the hall to the kitchen but Mandy and Jill weren't there. Seeing that the door to the balcony was open, she grabbed a cup of coffee and poked her head out the sliding door to find Mandy lounging in one of the chairs reading a book. "Hey," she greeted. Mandy placed her finger in the book and smiled at her as Emma settled into the chair next to her. Mandy's prosthetic leg was propped against the chair beside her. "Jill still sleeping?"
"No, she went for a run on the beach."
Emma shook her head. "That girl has way too much energy."
"Far more than me," Mandy agreed. Emma settled back in the chair and watched the people walking up and down the street. "We didn't get a chance to talk last night."
"About what?" Emma asked as she took a sip of her coffee.
Mandy gave her an, 'oh come on,' look. "Don't think I didn't see you two steaming up the dance floor."
Emma was really beginning to hate her Irish skin as she felt a blush creeping into her cheeks again. She hadn't blushed this much since Kirby Jackson had pulled her skirt down in front of everyone during the fifth grade dance. "Mandy..."
Mandy held up her hand to stop her words. "No judgments. Just want to make sure you're ok."
"I am, I think," she muttered.
"He seems nice enough, but..."
"So did Tristan."
"So did Tristan," Mandy agreed. "You can't spend the rest of your life being afraid of relationships, or having that shithead hanging over you, but I also don't want to see you get hurt again."
Emma blew on her coffee and twisted the mug in her hands. "Neither do I."
"Where does he live?"
"Oregon."
"Not even close to you."
"Not even a little," Emma agreed.
"Would you be ok with only having a month? I know we kid you about doing something casual to help shed the memories of Tristan but you're not that person Emma."
"I know."
And truth be told she didn't think a month would be enough time. At the end of the month, she knew she would want more and more. Ugh, she would end up becoming like Tristan if she wasn't careful. She sat forward and placed her coffee on the table before getting to her feet and walking over to the balcony railing. Maybe she could hide out in this tropical paradise forever, never return home, and just pretend she knew what it was that she wanted from her life.
She rested her elbow on the railing and propped her chin on her hand as she watched the people strolling the streets. It was much more peaceful now but she knew in a few hours music from the bars would be going and the party would be starting again. She'd drifted to sleep last night listening to the music, laughter and shouts from the people still enjoying themselves.
"You could come out to California to live with us. Jill is still considering moving closer to Stanford or trying to find a job in that area," Mandy suggested.
"I've actually been thinking about it a lot," Emma told her. "And not because of him," she rushed to get out.
"I didn't think it was," Mandy said with a chuckle.
"It might be good to move out to the west coast, at least for a little while. I'd like to do something different."
"You might be able to find a teaching job," Mandy suggested. Emma wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "Or something else. You'd at least have us though."
"That I would. For now I'm not going to overthink everything and just roll with it when it comes to him," Emma said as she watched a child dart in and out of the crowd toward one of the stores. "Maybe it will all end badly again, or it will just end, but I'm willing to take that chance."
Mandy dropped her book on the table. "Well let's hope that doesn't happen."
"He can't end up being like Tristan can he? I mean I can't find two stalkers in life can I?"
"I don't know Emma, but I think the odds are against it happening again, hopefully. Unless you're a psycho magnet."
Emma released a small chuckle. "That wouldn't surprise me."
"Me either," Mandy said with laugh. "I can say that I barely know the guy and I already like him more than I ever liked Tristan."
That was easy enough to believe, neither Mandy nor Jill had ever really liked Tristan. They'd thought him fake and slimy, they'd thought he was overbearing even before he'd started following her everywhere and leaving creepy gifts on her doorstep, on her desk, and at her work. She should have listened to her friends but she'd been a moron and determined to try to prove to herself that she could have a normal relationship with a man.
Emma shook her head; she stepped away from the railing as the front door opened. Jill's excited chatter made her frown as she craned her head to peer around the doorway. "Who is she talking to?" Mandy inquired in a whisper.
"I have no idea," Emma told her as she searched for Jill and whomever it was that she was speaking to.
"Come on in," Jill called over her shoulder as she skipped down the steps. "Would you like a drink? I'm sure Emma is probably up by now. I'll go get her."
Emma almost fell over when Ethan appeared at the top of the stairs. He ran a hand through his sweat-slicked hair, pushing it back from the broad angles of his face. The loose fitting shorts he wore hung low on his hips, but it was his broad, well-muscled chest that kept her eyes riveted. Her mouth watered, literally watered, as her eyes ran over the carved muscles of his abs. He didn't have a six-pack; oh no it was more like an eighteen case. Muscles she hadn't even known existed bunched and flexed as he descended the steps.
"I'll take some water," he answered.
Emma jerked back from the doorway and her gaze shot to Mandy. "Who is it?" Mandy asked again.
Emma tried to calm the racing of her heart as she placed her finger against her lips in a shushing gesture. 'It's him,' she mouthed.
'Him who?' Mandy mouthed back.
'Him,' Emma said and forced herself not to stomp her foot as she jerked her head at the doorway.
Mandy's mouth dropped before she broke into a grin that showed all of her teeth. Grabbing the arm of the chair, the muscles in her forearms flexed as she lifted herself up. She hopped over to the doorframe and poked her head around it.
Emma hated the unreasonable jealousy that filled her as Mandy's mouth dropped open. She didn't like the idea of either of her friends seeing Ethan in this state or lusting after him. Never, in four years, had any of them ever fought over a guy. Not even when Jill and Mandy had disliked Tristan had they been nasty or catty about their feelings for him. They'd made their opinions known, but they had never been mean and they'd never said, 'I told you so,' after. There had only been unwavering support.
Mandy and Jill both had more experience with men than she did. Mandy didn't have much more as she spent most of her time buried in her books, and though Jill liked to bounce through different guys, she would never go after someone that Emma or Mandy liked. Jill was a flirt but she would never hurt her friends. Even still, Emma had to take a deep breath to steady herself and lock the green-eyed monster back in its cage as Mandy's gaze remained riveted upon Ethan.
Mandy leaned back from the door and rested against it as she fanned herself with her hand. 'Holy hotness,' she mouthed.
Jill reappeared and handed a glass of water to Ethan. "I'll go get Emma."
"You don't have to bother her if she's still sleeping," he told her.
Jill just waved a hand at him before disappearing down the hall. "Get in there," Mandy hissed at her.
Emma looked at her helplessly; she was paralyzed by her uncertainty and apprehension. If she stepped out there now there would be no turning back. She'd barely been able to separate herself from him last night. It was all moving too fast and yet even as that thought swirled through her mind, she yearned to go in there, to touch him again, to kiss him again. Heat coiled in her belly at the thought of his kiss, her breasts tingled as she recalled the feel of him against her.
No there would be no going back if she walked in there now. She may very well end up with the broken heart that Tristan hadn't been able to inflict upon her, but she so wanted to take the plunge. If only her feet would move.
Untamed (Vampire Awakenings, Book 3) Page 5