by Marni Mann
Ones that I could never tell her.
And, with Jack gone, I’d never be talking about those secrets again.
“What do you want from me, Arin?”
“Anything.” She rubbed her finger across the tattoo. “You have to give me at least a little of something.”
I’d never give her what she was asking for.
However, there was something she could have.
Something that boiled in my chest as hard and as deep as the anger.
Releasing it would feel as good as taking a sip from the bottle that I kept in my desk drawer.
I wanted the relief that the alcohol could give me. I wanted it more as my stare dropped to her tits and the hardness of her nipples poked into her thin shirt.
I gave her no reason to expect it.
No warning.
I just reached forward and grabbed the sides of her face, knowing I was probably pushing against her bruises and cuts and hurting her more than she already was.
I didn’t care.
My need was more important than her pain.
“Hu—”
I cut her off with my lips, causing her to moan the rest of my name inside my mouth.
Now, all I could concentrate on was how she tasted. Her breath was as sweet as the honey from her skin, as erotic as the hint of lavender.
Jesus, she’s fucking delicious.
I tightly held her, my tongue sweeping around hers, swallowing her flavor so that I could savor every drop.
She didn’t squirm. Didn’t try to move or lift my hands off her. She didn’t even back away from me. Instead, she pushed herself against my chest, her nipples rubbing into me and my hard cock grinding into her.
I needed more.
I dropped a hand down to her waist and flattened it onto her ass, squeezing her cheek until she whimpered.
She was so little, so easy to break and maneuver just the way I wanted.
“Hold on to me,” I ordered.
When her hands gripped my shoulders, I lifted her into the air and wrapped her legs around me. Then, I carried her up the remaining stairs. Once we got to the top, I pushed her back into the wall and held her there with my weight.
“What are you going to do to me, Huck?”
Her eyes were wide. Hungry. Her lips were a little swollen.
Fuck, there was so much I wanted to do to her right now.
But I wouldn’t take the time to move her into a bedroom. Whatever went down would happen right here, right now, in this cold, dark hallway.
Arin
I’d asked Huck what he was going to do to me, and he still hadn’t answered. He really didn’t need to though. The look on his face told me everything I needed to know. He wanted to fuck me. And it surprised me. All of it did—the way he had lifted me into his arms, how he had held me against the wall, how he’d kissed me.
I hadn’t expected any of it or how much I’d like it.
But, really, I never knew what to expect from him. He was completely unpredictable. The only thing I knew for sure was the moments when his mind drifted away from me. It happened often enough that I recognized the behavior, partly because my mind caused me to do the same thing. I was just able to control it better than him.
As I continued to wait for his response, the fire in his eyes grew. And, slowly, a grin spread across his lips. Still not a full one—I hadn’t seen one of those from him yet—but enough that I found myself smiling in return.
“How far will you let me go?” he asked.
As I was about to reply, he kissed me again. It was rougher than the last one. More passionate, like he was holding himself back from showing me his own set of fangs.
I wished I didn’t enjoy it.
I wished I liked it soft and tender.
But, instead, everything Huck was giving me was making me wet. His hands seized me with such power that each pulse from his fingertips made me moan. I wanted to bury myself under his body, so the feeling of his strength would never leave me. And I wanted much more of his mouth, the way it tasted like citrus, which was so similar to the sexy scent of his cologne.
My mind was fighting with my pussy. One knew I shouldn’t be letting this happen, and the other was tingling and could only think about Huck. I should be stronger than this. I should know better than to ever let him touch me.
“Arin,” he groaned against my mouth.
His hand moved up my side and stopped just below my rib cage, the pad of his thumb brushing my nipple over my shirt. I wanted him to pinch it—and he did. He clenched that sensitive bud, and then he pulled on it, just the way I did it when I touched myself.
He was perfectly reading my body.
And I loved it.
“Tell me,” he whispered. It came out as a moan, and I came back with one even louder.
I couldn’t hide the way he made me feel. With his lips on mine, his fingers on my breast, his cock pressing into the crotch of my jeans, his weight still holding me against the wall, I felt as though I might explode.
I turned my face away just briefly to take a breath, and his mouth went to my neck, kissing and licking underneath my ear and down my jaw and across my entire throat. In certain spots, he nipped, pinching my skin between his teeth.
My vision went blurry.
I couldn’t think straight.
Tingles filled the rest of my body.
“Tell me,” he repeated.
My hands flattened against his chest. His muscles were so hard, so smooth, so fucking hot. I dropped down a little further and met his abs. They flexed under my touch, and I’d never felt anything that defined before, certainly not that ripped.
“Go lower,” he encouraged.
A belt held up his jeans, but there was enough room for my fingers to slip beneath. I wasn’t in more than an inch when I felt his dick. It was that large; it had stretched all the way up to the elastic band of his boxer briefs. My thumb slid across his tip, spreading a drop of his pre-cum. I was so tempted to stick my finger in my mouth and taste it.
“Tell me I can tear your clothes off,” he said.
As he spoke, his lips moved over my throat, and his hand went to my ass. Unlike how he’d grabbed it earlier, he was squeezing it with a force I hadn’t felt from him before.
God, those fingers were so long and beautiful. I could only imagine how it would feel to have one of them inside me.
Twisting.
Thrusting.
I wanted that.
Right now.
I straightened my neck to look at Huck’s face, to tell him to carry me to the nearest bed, but as my stare moved up his chest, I caught a glance at his tattoo. It was the tail of the snake. It curled around the bottom of his collarbone and more of it peeked out from his shirt.
“Arin…”
Our eyes connected, the snake still part of my vision, and suddenly, everything inside me came to a screeching halt.
What the fuck am I doing?
I shook my head, trying to find my voice. It was there; I just had to dig deep to find it.
“Tell me I can have this pussy.” He reached past my ass and rubbed around my entrance. “That I can fuck you against this wall.” He went higher, touching the part of my jeans that rested over my clit.
It felt so good; it got me out of my thoughts again.
My hips rocked back and forth, the heat and lust completely taking over my body until my gaze fell and I saw his tattoo again.
I had to make it stop.
His touching.
His kissing.
The sensations he was stirring inside me.
All of it.
I needed Huck’s safety. His room and board. I needed to make some phone calls.
And then I needed to return to the States.
Sex couldn’t be part of that plan.
It couldn’t.
“Huck…”
Before I had a chance to say any more, my back was sliding down the wall, and he was setting me on my feet. His hands left my bo
dy but not before they touched my face.
“It’s too bad,” he said, the tone of his voice telling me he’d read my mind. “You would have really liked the way I ate your pussy.” He swiped my bottom lip, pulling it down just a little, his eyes zooming into it like he was stopping himself from biting it.
Why does his tattoo have to be of a snake?
“Huck,” I called out as he stepped away from me.
He didn’t turn around. He didn’t even glance over his shoulder. He just kept on walking until he reached the end of the hall, and then I heard a door slam.
“Huck!” I shouted again.
It was no use.
He was gone.
I’d waited all night for Huck to return. I couldn’t have slept more than a few hours. I had been too afraid to shut my eyes in fear I wouldn’t hear him knocking on the door. I’d figured that was all I’d get from him, and if I missed the sound, he wouldn’t come back.
But there hadn’t been a knock or twist of the doorknob.
There had been only silence.
And loneliness.
The next morning, Lawan visited and brought me food and clothes and checked to see if I was doing all right. Huck didn’t stop in after her or that afternoon or evening. And he didn’t come the following day either.
This was the longest I’d gone without seeing him.
I hated it.
On day three of still no Huck, Lawan came in while I was doing some yoga on the floor, trying anything to get my body feeling normal again and rehabilitated. She was holding clothes that looked similar to nursing scrubs, the same kind I’d seen the helper wear downstairs.
“Time to work, Arin,” she said.
I reached up from my pose and took the clothes from her, unfolding them in the air to check their size. I knew they’d fit. “I’ll be assisting the girls?”
She shook her head. “No. Me. I give you tasks; you complete them.”
“So, I won’t be with the men?”
Just because I had been off-limits a few days ago didn’t mean that still applied. What had happened in the hallway could have easily caused Huck to change his mind.
“No. Sir wants you with me.” She was also holding a pair of sneakers, which she set on the floor in front of me. “Change your clothes. I’ll wait outside.”
Once she left the room, I stripped out of the pajamas I’d been wearing and put on the scrubs. There was a pair of socks inside the sneakers, so I slipped those on first, and then I tied the laces. The outfit was comfortable, not restricting at all, a softer fabric than I’d worn the whole time I’d been here. It also wasn’t flattering. I wondered if Huck had done that on purpose since he could have had Lawan dress me in anything.
I grabbed my cell phone on the way out and met her in the hallway.
“Elevator is on the next floor,” she said as we walked to the stairs. “You only have to make it down one flight.”
Huck had never mentioned that. Not that he’d needed to. I hadn’t even gotten to the seventh stair. Had I made it further, I was sure he would have brought me to the elevator. All the other times I’d been on the stairs, he’d carried me. I wasn’t surprised by that. With his kind of muscle, he didn’t seem like the type who took the elevator often.
But, now, he was nowhere to be found. It was just Lawan and me and a whole bunch of stairs to descend.
She held my arm while I inched the toe of my sneaker to the end of the first step. It was slow going down, but I had a little more energy than the last time I’d tried it. Lawan stayed by my side, gripping me for support, encouraging me every time I lifted my foot. If I fell, there was no way she’d catch me. She was as small as me, maybe even tinier, and she didn’t feel all that strong.
It didn’t matter. I didn’t need her strength, I was determined to get down these steps and be around people and do my job because I couldn’t stand another second of loneliness.
And I did.
I made it.
Inside the elevator, I took a deep breath and pushed my back against the wall as I thanked my body for not giving out on me. I was getting better, which meant my time in Bangkok was coming to an end.
“Just a few hours today,” she said as the door opened to the first floor. We stepped out, heading into the hallway. “More tomorrow.”
I followed her into the room where Huck had brought me to see his snake pit. Once again, I couldn’t take my eyes off of it or the snake that was sunning on the bottom, near the plants. It looked so much like the picture that hung in my room. Its eyes told me it was unpredictable, cunning.
Just like Huck.
“Sit here,” Lawan said, dragging my attention away from the pit.
She pointed to a bench that was near the makeup stations, not far from the bathroom, and I made my way over there. Next to the bench, she placed two baskets—one that was full of freshly laundered towels, their smell reminding me of home, and a second that was empty.
“Fold. I’ll give you more when you’re done.”
She left the room, and I took out a towel from the basket, placed it on my lap, and continued to tuck it until it was a perfect rectangle. Then, I set it in the other basket and repeated the whole process.
There were a handful of girls in the room with me. I watched as they came in to get ready. Some left when they were all done, and others appeared to be on break. I couldn’t understand anything they said, but they smiled at me and nodded their heads in my direction. I returned the gesture, wishing I could communicate with them. I wanted to ask questions about Huck—if he’d saved them or bought them, if they’d lived in my room at some point.
“More,” Lawan said, getting me out of my thoughts while she set two additional baskets in front of me. “When you finish, I’ll take you outside.”
I hadn’t been outside since I arrived at the brothel. I hadn’t even opened the windows to get a whiff of the air. Still, I saw the sun every morning. I’d stand next to the window and feel it on my skin. And, when I closed my eyes, I would be back at home, in the park where I always drank my coffee.
I wondered if that life would feel the same when I returned to it.
Would I get satisfaction from the normal I had at home, or after everything that happened, would I need something more?
I sat behind the brothel in a spot close to where Lawan had found me on the night I arrived here. My skin was warm and a little red. The sides of my hair had curled from the humidity. There was a tiny bit of sweat on my lower back. The view wasn’t pretty. I was staring at the back of several buildings, and there was no one out here to talk to, but the air and sunshine still felt great.
I lasted about thirty minutes before I became too tired to stay outside any longer. The muscles in my abdomen were bothering me, and I knew I needed to lie down.
I texted Lawan to tell her I was ready, and she brought me back to the elevator. We rode it together, and then she walked me to the base of the stairs.
I crossed my arms over my stomach and stared at each one. There were so many. They would require much more energy, as up was harder than down.
“I don’t know—” My voice cut off when I saw that Lawan was gone.
She’d been standing behind me, and I’d been so focused on the climb that I hadn’t even heard her leave.
Goddamn it, Lawan.
How could she have done this to me? Abandon me when she knew the shape I was in?
I didn’t know if I could get up the stairs. All I knew was that I had to at least try.
I didn’t want to, but I also didn’t want to sleep on the bottom step. I needed a soft bed, and pretty soon, I’d need a bathroom.
I wrapped my hand around the banister and lifted my foot. Oh God, it killed my stomach. The muscles deep within felt like I was putting them through a meat grinder. And I didn’t even have both feet on the step. I only had one. As I lifted my other foot, a set of hands gripped my waist from behind me, and a pair of lips pressed just below my ear.
I gasped.
>
“I’m here,” Huck said.
“Huck…” It came out as a whisper as relief flooded through me to the point where I almost wanted to cry.
“You really thought I’d leave you?”
The whiskers from his beard brushed against me. They were harsh on my skin, and I liked it.
“I…I don’t know.”
His arms felt so good around me. His fingers spread wide, covering my sides and part of my navel. He was warm, like the sun had been, and I just wanted to close my eyes and fall against him.
“You never came back to my room. It’s been days since I’ve seen you.”
His face dipped into my neck, and he breathed me in. “You wanted me to come to you?”
My eyes closed on their own. “Yes.”
“What made you change your mind?”
I’d missed him. More than I was willing to admit to myself.
And my entire body was tingling from his return.
But what had changed?
Maybe it was the tingles that wanted his touch.
Maybe it was the loneliness that lusted for his voice.
All I knew was that I wanted this man.
“Time,” I answered. “It was what I needed, and you gave it to me.”
He slowly turned me toward him, so the movement wouldn’t cause me any pain, and my eyes opened.
“Tell me what you want, Arin.”
I reached for his face, my hand pressing on his cheek, a finger dipping until it brushed across his lips. They were so full and a little wet from him just licking them. I knew I shouldn’t be touching him. I knew I shouldn’t be enjoying it.
But I was.
I wanted more.
“Your mouth,” I told him.
Not even a second passed before he gave it to me.
The Kid
Before
I’m the quiet one at school. I do more observing than speaking. I’m not just watching; I’m paying attention. So, I catch things most people don’t. The ones who talk nonstop definitely don’t see everything that I do. They annoy me, too, but that’s beside the point. Because of my quietness, some kids call me stupid. Even some of the teachers have said that to me.