*
I pull up to Ellie’s, and we get out of my car and make our way up to the front porch. The chief sits on the swing. Ellie says, “Hey, Dad.”
“Hey, kids.” He nods before we walk inside.
“Want something to drink?” she asks me as she walks into the kitchen.
“No,” I say, checking her out.
“Want to come up to my room?” She lifts her brow.
“Yep.”
She laughs as I chase her up the stairs. I shut the door behind us and lift her up, taking over her lips as she tightens her legs around my waist. Her hands move up the back of my neck, and then she lifts my hat off.
“Tommy,” she says softly. I swallow and open my eyes. She gives me a small smile. “You’re going to make leaving hard.”
“Good.” I kiss her again and push her into the back of the door. I want more with her, but I’m only going to take what she gives. We always make out; it never goes any farther, and I leave her house with blue balls every fucking time.
After I leave her room, I head downstairs and step out onto the porch. The chief still sits on the swing.
“I’ll see ya, chief.” I nod and start to walk.
“Tommy, let me talk to you for a minute,” he says, causing me to stop.
“What’s up?” I shrug. He takes his hat off and rubs down the side of his face.
“What are your plans here?” he asks, looking back at me.
“Plans, sir?” I question.
“With Ellie. What are your plans with her?”
I kinda laugh. “Just taking it one day at a time.”
He nods and moves the toothpick in his mouth.
“She’s told you she’s leaving?”
“Yes, sir.”
“So, you understand that?” He narrows his eyes.
“Yes, sir.”
“You okay with that?”
“No, but it’s what she wants so…” I stuff my hands into my pockets.
“You’re not going to get in the way of her trying to make a better life for herself?”
“No. I’d never do that to her.”
“Good,” he says, taking the toothpick out and twisting it between his fingers. He looks over at me as he rubs under his chin. “Can I ask you why you’re putting yourself through this?”
I exhale and turn my eyes out toward the yard.
“I love her.” Twisting back around, I look over at him and step forward, kicking my foot and sliding it against the wooden boards of the porch. “I know it’s going to hurt like hell when she leaves. I know she isn’t planning on coming back. But truthfully, I’m hoping she’ll change her mind about the last part. Maybe she will.” I shrug. “Maybe she won’t, but I’d rather have these last few weeks with her than have nothing at all.” I pause and take my hands out of my pockets. “Ellie’s told me about her mom and you. Wouldn’t you have done the same as me?”
He smirks. “Yeah, I would have.”
I nod and clear my throat.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Tommy.”
“Good night, chief,” I say before I walk to my car. I look up to see Ellie’s light on before I grab the door handle and head to the house.
*
I unlock the door and see Ronnie passed out with a lit smoke hanging loosely between his fingers. Walking over, I take it from his hand, putting it out in the overfilled ashtray. The sound of the record spinning is the only noise in the house. I switch it off and pull the light string on the ceiling fan.
A butt falls out of the ashtray when I grab it. I scoop it up before making my way into the kitchen, dumping it into the overflowing trash bag beside the trashcan. Tying it off, I take it out and toss it into the bin. I grab my smokes from my pocket as I walk back to the porch. Leaning against it, I cover the end of my cigarette to light it and exhale.
Hudson pulls up and gets out of his car with takeout boxes.
“Yo, you bring me some food?” I yell over to him.
“Hell no, I didn’t bring you any food,” he says with a grin on his face. He puts the boxes down and reaches for my smoke. I hand it over.
“Ronnie passed out?”
“Yep.”
He nods as he hits the cigarette.
“He was so drunk earlier, he tried to dance with Rose when we went to leave. She pushed him off, and he fell back on his ass.” Hudson laughs, and I chuckle.
“Where’d you stop?” I ask, looking down at the boxes.
“I went by Billy’s after I dropped Rose off.”
“Taking advantage of that employee discount?” I ask.
“Hell yeah.” He grins, handing me back my smoke. I hit it again as the neighbor’s wind chimes ding from the shifting wind. Then I toss my cigarette down and stomp it out.
“Ellie get home okay?” Hudson asks me as we walk inside.
“Yeah.”
“What’s up with you and her, anyway?” he asks, shutting the door harder than he normally does to piss off Ronnie. He jumps when it slams.
“You shits can’t be a little quieter?” he grumbles as he shifts and crosses his arms.
“You got a fucking room, Ronnie,” Hudson says, kicking his foot as he walks by, but he’s already asleep again. Hudson puts the boxes down, and I flip one open.
“Ribs. Nice.”
“They’re left over from yesterday, but I made them so they’re fine.” He grabs us two beers, and we sit down in the mismatched chairs that surround the table.
“So?” he asks.
“They’re good.”
“Not asking about the food, dummy. You and Ellie. What’s going on there?”
“We’re together.” I lick the tip of my thumb and take another bite.
“I can see that. Isn’t she leaving, though?”
“Yeah,” I say in between chewing.
“Are you going to do long distance?”
“That’s my plan.” I toss the bone down and stand to get a dishtowel, finding none in the drawer.
“There are some in the dryer. Just haven’t folded them. There should be a napkin in the bag, though,” Hudson says. “So, what do you mean your plan?”
“I’m trying to get her to change her mind on the whole never coming back thing.”
“Why does she wanna leave so bad, anyway?”
“I don’t know. Says she wants to get away from everyone who knows her.” I shrug, wishing I understood it myself. She’s surrounded by people who love her. I don’t get why she wants to leave that.
“What if she doesn’t change her mind? Where does that leave you?” He lifts his brow as I wipe my hands and mouth off.
“Fucked,” I say, tossing the napkin into the trash.
“Well, I hope it works out in your favor. I know how you feel about the girl.”
“’Preciate it.”
Ronnie stumbles in with his hair all over his head. “You bring some food?”
“Not for you,” Hudson answers.
“I swear, you two forget who kept food in your mouths when you were pissing in your pants.”
I look over at Hudson and smirk.
“Give me a smoke then,” he says to me.
“Help yourself.” I take a sip of my beer. “So, how’s the job hunting going?” I ask Ronnie.
“Can’t find a decent job in this small ass town.”
“We did,” Hudson says. “So you can, and you better or you’ll be living on the street.”
Ronnie throws the lighter down and walks out of the room, mumbling about spoiled kids, which makes me laugh. I hear the front door shut, and the picture frame falls off the wall this time.
“How’s your work going?” my brother asks me.
“Good. Dan let me take my own crew out last week.”
“No shit?”
“Yeah.”
“Damn. Good job. I’m sure you’re pissing some of the old guys off.”
I shrug. “Ain’t my fault they don’t wanna step up. I’m thinking about taking some classes to be a cons
truction manager.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I wanna be somebody when I grow up too,” I say, smirking over at him.
“That’s good, man.”
“I’m heading up to take a shower.” I pick up my smokes, then walk by him and pat his shoulder. “Thanks for the food, brother.”
*
Sometime later, I hear Ronnie walking up the stairs. He passes by my open door.
“You kids need to remember your place,” he slurs when he talks, and I can hardly see the color in his eyes, his pupils are so big.
“What the hell are you on?” I ask, tossing the basket of folded towels onto the floor.
“You both think you’re big shots because you have good jobs and girlfriends. Well, let me tell you something. It can all be taken away from you! All of it. And we already know yours doesn’t want to stick around. She’s just using you for a good time until she runs off to her big fancy college. Then she’ll find someone better, someone worthy.”
I don’t think before I jump up and slam my fist into the side of his face. He falls back into the hall wall, and I lunge after him.
“You piece of shit.” I rare back and hit him again.
“Tommy!” Hudson runs over from the stairs and grabs me under my arms, but I kick and fight back. “Tommy, stop!”
“Take it back you, motherfucker!” I scream at my dad.
“Damn ungrateful kids.” He rubs the side of his jaw.
“Get out of here, Ronnie,” Hudson says.
Ronnie tries to lift himself off the floor. My breathing is out of control, and I feel like my teeth are going to crack.
“Go!” Hudson yells.
Ronnie stumbles down the hall, and I shut my eyes.
“What the hell happened?” my brother asks, looking at me with wide eyes.
“He’s right, you know. She’s gonna leave and find someone better.”
“Who? Ellie?” Hudson questions with concern.
I shrug out of his arms. “Just forget it.”
Chapter Fourteen
Ellie
I help lift a big flowerpot and carry it to Anne’s porch.
“You have everything you need for school?” she asks me as she pulls her garden gloves off one finger at a time. “Put that one over by the table, dear.”
I lug the thing over by her wicker table and chairs as Piper walks out with a tray of lemonade.
“Almost. Just got a few more things to grab.” I exhale loudly and stand up straight after I put the pot down.
“Heavy?” Anne asks, smiling at me.
“Yes, I’m getting old,” I answer, and Piper and Anne laugh.
“Old is not being able to pick the thing up at all,” the flower whisperer says as she takes a seat.
“I said getting, not there yet.” I smile as I dust off some of the small flowers that got on my shirt.
“Would you like to go tomorrow and get the rest of the things off your list?” Piper asks. “I can go with you.”
“I’ve promised Aunt Leigh I’d help her bathe some dogs at the shelter, but the next day should be good.”
“Okay, we’ll plan on that.” She smiles as she hands me a glass. I take it and drink it happily.
“It’s not going to be the same without you around, Ellie, Your dad’s not going to know what to do with himself.”
“Yeah, it’s going to be a big change. I hope you two will keep him busy.”
“Of course, we will,” Piper says. I nod and finish my drink before I get the rest of the flowers Anne bought at the hardware store.
*
“Thanks for helping me today,” Leigh says as she squirts some dog shampoo onto her palm.
“Well, you’re paying me so…” I smirk as she nudges my shoulder. I rub behind the super furry dog’s ears I’m bathing.
“How’s your dad doing? Mark has been so busy with his side jobs he hasn’t had a chance to catch up with him.”
“He’s doing well. He and Piper are still together. Taking things super slow though, and I know it’s probably Dad’s idea.”
“How do you feel about him and Piper?”
I shrug. “I just want him to be happy. Piper’s sweet, caring, and patient.” The dog shakes, and I move my face away. “Gross, you big ol’ dog!”
Leigh laughs and hands me a clean towel.
“But she isn’t your mom,” Leigh says what I’m thinking as I wipe down my face.
“No, she isn’t. Truthfully, I hope she doesn’t get hurt because Dad can’t open up.”
She sighs. “Yeah, I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes. Trying to love a man whose heart already belongs to someone else…”
I put the towel down, but keep it bunched up in my hand.
“Why do you think my parents were so good together?” I ask, running the purple cotton over stainless steel. Her soapy dog flops down as she leans back and crosses her arms. The old T-shirt Leigh wears has water spots and soapsuds on it. She bites the inside of her cheek and gazes at the cement floor.
“I don’t know, Ellie. Maybe some people’s souls were made as one and then broken off and placed into two separate people. When your mom walked into a room, you could see it on your dad’s face and vice versa.” She shrugs before grabbing the water hose. “They were star-crossed lovers, and unfortunately, their relationship wasn’t meant to last. There was a time I didn’t think your dad would survive her death.” Her expression turns sober. “You saved him, Ellie.” The lady, who’s more than my mom’s best friend to me, smiles sweetly before rinsing the dog off.
I swallow the unwelcome lump in my throat and grab the other water hose. Twisting the knob, I let the cool water run over my hand until it turns warm.
“Maybe I did, but love almost killed him.”
“How can you say that? His love for you is what kept him going.” She adjusts her sunnies on her head and reaches for her dog’s paw.
“But the love he had for my mom damaged him.” I run my hand across soap-filled fur as bubbles foam over onto the ground and onto my purple toes. “You couldn’t be more right about the star-crossed lovers’ part, Aunt Leigh. Their relationship was doomed by the stars, for sure.”
Leigh turns the water off and grabs another towel. She eyes me, and I feel her scrutiny.
“Are you letting what happened between your parents scare you from love? Is that why you’re not going to make this thing with you and Tommy work?”
I turn the water off too and grab myself a few towels. “What happened with my parents has nothing to do with my situation with Tommy,” I state, trying to make her believe it. Because I now know, it is the reason.
“Bullshit. You can lie to yourself about that, but I know you, Ellie Williams. Remember, I’ve been there since you were born. I know you want to go to school for good reasons, and for that I’m proud of you, but the Ellie I know isn’t a chicken.”
I don’t respond, because just like Tommy she’s right. But neither of them knows what I had to go through with the chief. Six years doesn’t fly by when you’re having to help a grown man up off the floor because he’s too piss drunk to stand on his own.
Loaded guns don’t load themselves. People do it, and my father loaded his more than a few times. Suicide was on the tip of his tongue, in the back of his mind more nights than not because to him it was easier than the pain of her absence. You take a fully cocked 9mm Glock from a broken heart, and you learn two things: it’s dying and it wants to die.
Maybe I’m fearless. Perhaps I’m reckless and audacious like Anne said, but when it comes to the love my parents shared, I’m not a chicken. I’m fucking terrified. I’ve seen firsthand the mess it leaves when it’s over. I don’t say any of this out loud, though, because I would never want to ruin my dad’s good name. He’s the chief of this town. He’s well respected, and I wouldn’t want people to think any differently of him.
“Ellie, I remember what your dad was like after she died.” She surprises me.
“You do?
” I ask, facing her.
“Yes, I know he struggled. A lot. Cash was not in a good place, and only a handful of us knew it.” She dries her hands and tosses the towel into the hamper. “Do you remember when you came to stay with us for a little while?”
“Bits and pieces,” I say, intrigued on what she is about to say.
“Well, one day, your dad forgot to pick you up from school. They called me after they couldn’t reach him, so I went and picked you up. I dropped you off with Mark, and then I went over to your house.” Shaking her head slightly, she chews her bottom lip. “He was a mess. The house was a mess.” She looks down as if remembering moments from that day. “It wasn’t a pretty sight to see a strong man like your dad broken.”
“What did you do?” I mindlessly continue to dry Mr. Fluffy.
“I told him to get his shit together. That we were all devastated over losing Sara. I know his pain didn’t have a comparison, but regardless, you were still here and you needed him. He seemed to have straightened up after that.”
Knowing better, I regard the dog in front of me, drying his ears and under his chin.
“Yeah,” I mumble. I exhale and toss the towels into the bin, then walk over to wash my hands.
“Just don’t let what happened to them scare you.” She unhooks her dog’s leash from the post. “Tommy’s a good kid, and he didn’t have a great role model, so that’s saying something.” She gives me a smile. “I’m going to grab us another set.”
“Okay.” I nod as I walk back over to my dog. “The chief had everyone fooled, didn’t he, boy?”
*
Grabbing the tape, I run it along the top of the cardboard box and bite it with my teeth before smoothing it down. This is the last of what I’ll be taking with me to school, and my room looks empty. With only a few days left until I leave and a bare room, it’s all starting to hit me. Soon, I’ll be headed to a big city, to a big school away from everyone that knows me. To say I’m not nervous would be a lie. It’s a big deal and a big change.
Chasing Ellie: A Chasing Fireflies Spin Off Page 11