Chasing Ellie: A Chasing Fireflies Spin Off

by Paige P. Horne

  “You were dancing like a crazy person,” Maci says to her.

  “You looked like you were Richard Simmons doing the Party off the Pounds! Video,” Leigh says as she rubs her hand across the tablecloth to smooth out the wrinkles. They both burst out laughing.

  “How in the hell do you know the name of one of his videos?” Maci asks, letting out a snort, which makes them both laugh more.

  “My mom was obsessed with him. Before she died, she would make me sit in the living room with her as she worked out. It was horrible.” She goes quiet for a moment before clearing her throat. The laugh-fest is over. Sometimes I forget that Aunt Leigh lost her mom to suicide also, except she was much older than me when I lost mine.

  I look over as Anne puts small flowerpots in the center of the tables and a familiar face appears behind her. It’s Rose. Bright blonde mixed in with baby pink hair sits on top of her head and she wears the reddest lips.

  “Well, hey, college girl.” She walks over to me and gives me a hug, smelling like candy and the evening air.

  “How’s it been going?” I ask.

  “Good as rain. Hudson is at Billy’s preparing some potato salad and other things for the dinner tonight, so I came out here to see if I can help with anything.” She gives an all-teeth smile and links her fingers in front of her maroon dress.

  “Grab the other end of this tablecloth, Rose,” Aunt Maci says.

  “How’s Hudson been doing?” I ask as she takes hold of the other side.

  “He’s doing great. Billy’s been talking about letting him be manager of the kitchen. Says he’s ready to step back and relax.”

  “Oh, that’s good,” I say.

  She smiles, obviously proud of Hudson. Walking over, I pick up some decorative leaves for the centerpieces.

  “How are things at school? How much longer do you have?”

  “Forever,” I say, rolling my eyes. Aunt Leigh laughs. “No, really about three more years.”

  “Wow, that’s a lot of years.”

  “Who you telling? I’m questioning my choices in life,” I say. Rose laughs, but I’m serious. School is dragging.

  “What you’re going for is great, Ellie. You just keep at it,” Maci says.

  “You people need some help over here?” I swallow at the sound of his voice, and my heart starts beating rapidly. Tommy walks up with a smile on his face until his eyes land on me. The corners crest when he narrows them, and I don’t breathe. Three years. My palms grow sweaty, and I have a strong impulse to run, but I force myself to stay put. Good God, he looks good. His hair is short, and he’s wearing jeans and brown boots. The white shirt he has on under his brown leather jacket looks perfect against his tan skin, making my fingers shake slightly with the urge to touch him. His brown eyes look at me as though I’m nothing to him anymore, and this alone makes me finally look away.

  “You can help me set up some more tables,” Aunt Leigh says. “Mark’s no good because of his foot, and all the other men are either cooking or working.” Her eyes dart from me to him.

  Aunt Maci clears her throat and says, “There are some more chairs over by the gazebo also.”

  “I’ll grab them,” I say, breaking the tension and seriously wanting to walk away because I can’t handle his expression––cold and distant. He hates me. I hear footsteps behind me.

  “I’ll help.”

  I turn to see Aunt Leigh.

  “You okay?” she asks me as she catches up with my steps.

  “Fine.”

  “Say what you want, but that back there was not fine, kid.”

  I exhale and put my hand under the back of a chair, but stop and turn around to face her. I cross my arms and look down.

  “He hates me, and the thing is I don’t blame him.”

  “He doesn’t hate you, Ellie.”

  I scoff. “Aunt Leigh, you saw the look on his face. That was hate.”

  “He just needs some time. I mean, he hasn’t seen or spoken to you in over three years.”

  “Yeah, because I’m a messed-up asshole who just cut him out of my life.” I kick a nearby rock and turn back to grab the chair. “Oh well, right? I’m gonna be gone in a day or two anyway.”

  “You’re only staying for a few days?”

  “Well yeah, I need to get back to school.”

  “Don’t do that.”

  “Do what?” I ask as we make our way back over to the tables that Aunt Maci and Tommy put up.

  “Run.”

  “I’m not running. I have school.”

  “Little Miss,” she gives me a doubtful look, “your whole school is out for Thanksgiving break.”

  I sigh and stop walking, taking a quick sideways glance over at Tommy to make sure he can't hear. “He wrote me a letter a few months back.”

  She looks down.

  “Did you give him my address?” I ask, eyeballing her.

  She looks back up and bites her lip. “Maybe,” she says, wincing.

  “Aunt Leigh,” I scold.

  “I just couldn’t take it anymore, Ellie. The boy was miserable.”

  “He clearly isn’t anymore.”

  “Well, appearances can be deceiving.” We both look over at him, and then I peer down at the ground.

  “You can’t say you don’t want to be with him.”

  I look up and over at her, noticing she’s got her eyes on me now.

  “Look,” I say, sighing. “I’m not going to stand here and pretend like this doesn’t hurt, but I made my choice all those years ago. I left Tommy. I left this whole town behind. I know what this seems like, but I didn’t plan on staying that long. I need to get back. Tommy has a girlfriend now, and I’ve moved on too. I’ve met a few guys…”

  “You have?” She waggles her eyebrows at me, and I roll my eyes.

  “I’m not a nun, Aunt Leigh, and it’s college.” I grin as I lean the chairs in my hands up against the table before I unfold them.

  “Well, good. I’m glad you’re not just stuck in a book. You need to be enjoying yourself. Just be careful. College guys don’t bathe as much as…” She scrunches her face as though she’s thinking.

  “As much as what?” I giggle, like she’s crazy.

  “I don’t know. Just be careful.” She grins, dismissing me with a wave of her hand.

  “Done.” My eyes look over at Tommy who is talking with Anne, Maci, and Rose. He looks different. I can’t put my finger on it, but it’s a good different. He glances over, and I catch his gaze. That same scowl appears on his face before he looks away. Yep, he hates me.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ellie

  I stretch up and put the hammer in Dad’s hand. Folding my arms with a string of lights wrapped around my fingers, I roam my eyes around the park as he hits the nail into the tree.

  “You’re quiet,” he says, reaching his hand down for the lights. “You okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I reply, giving them to him.

  After he places them over the nail, he grips onto the edges of the ladder and steps down.

  “Don’t seem fine.” Folding the ladder up, he makes his way over to another tree as I follow. The wind blows and brown, red, and bright green leaves fall around us, settling into the dying grass. “Anne says you saw Tommy earlier.”

  I roll my eyes. “Leave it to Anne,” I grumble.

  “Hey now, don’t get mad at her. She was just concerned for you. Says you two didn’t even speak.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. We didn’t speak.” I sigh and look down, lightly hitting a fallen acorn with the tip of my boot.

  He props the ladder against the tree, climbs up, and asks, “Why not? Hand me the hammer, please.” I do and he takes a nail out of his pocket.

  “Why would we?” I shrug.

  “Because you used to be best friends.”

  “Not anymore.”

  The nail goes into the tree, and we repeat the process from earlier.

  “That’s a shame.”

  “It’s life.�
��

  “No, it’s a choice.” He steps down and folds the ladder again. “I think that looks good, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” I agree, looking around at the town square. Lights are hung and tables are set with decorative pieces. It’s festive. He nods and we walk over to his truck.

  “If you want to talk to him, then talk to him. What’s the worst that could happen?” He lifts the tailgate handle and slides the ladder in.

  “He could ignore me like I’ve done him.”

  “True, but you won’t know until you try.” We hop into the truck, and Dad starts it up.

  “We’ll just see how the night goes,” I reply as we head back to the house.

  *

  The evening has grown cooler, so I trade out my shirt for a cream cable knit sweater. My long curls are wild today because my straightener died on me. The crowd is moving in, and after we set up all the food, everyone sits and Anne says a blessing. We each hold hands and bow our heads, but as she is praying my eyes roam and I look for Tommy.

  She thanks God for all of us being in one place as I spot the man pulling me in his direction like a strong current forcing me out to sea. He looks up like he knows, and my eyes land on his hand that’s in another girl's. I peer back up at him. He doesn’t flinch as we stare into each other’s eyes. He looks away before I do, leaving me wishing I’d looked away first. I inhale a slow, shaky breath and drop my head.

  “And finally, thank you for this wonderful food. Amen.”

  “Amen,” everyone says in unison.

  *

  I giggle at Aunt Leigh and Uncle Mark. She literally has waited on him hand and foot, and from the grin on his face, I’m assuming he’s loving it. I sit back in my chair and bend my knee, propping my foot up and wrapping my hands around my shin.

  “You’re milking this, ain’t you?” Banner says to him.

  I grin over at Uncle Mark.

  “Sure am. I’ve been working hard for that woman for more years than I can keep track. It’s nice to relax for a change.” He winks playfully at me.

  “Too bad you had to twist your foot to do it,” Ben throws in.

  Banner laughs. “You’d almost think he did it on purpose.”

  Mark scoffs. “I can assure you I didn’t. It was pretty damn painful.”

  Aunt Leigh and Aunt Maci walk up.

  “Here’s your refilled drink,” Leigh says to Mark as she sets it in front of him.

  “Thanks, baby.” He smiles and she grins too but rolls her eyes. She’s no fool. She knows her husband is eating this up. But she loves him, so she lets it slide.

  “You wanna go fishing down at the old creek tomorrow?” Dad asks. I look over at the chief who is at the head of the table.

  “Sure.” I smile.

  He nods and I pick up my drink, looking over the rim at Tommy and Hudson’s table. He’s eating while listening to something Hudson is saying. Ronnie’s smiling and looking more cleaned up than usual. Which just means he doesn’t have dirt on his face. I put my drink down and rub a finger over my top lip. Tommy stands and grabs his plate from the table. He says something to the girl beside him, and then she pushes her chair out and stands too. I see Tommy put his hand in the girl’s. It’s simple, but a big show of affection coming from him.

  Maci grabs my attention as she sits beside Banner. Banner is one of those tough men. You never know what they're feeling or thinking. Dad tells me he’s owned the bar across the street longer than I’ve been around. The two seem perfectly content with how things are between them. They’re not married and have no children, but seem to have a very full, happy life.

  I put my foot down and stand up.

  “You aren’t going home, are you?” Aunt Leigh asks.

  “Nah, just gonna take a walk. I ate too much.”

  She nods and I pat my dad’s shoulder as I walk by. I find the trash and toss my plate. Crossing my arms and pulling my sweater sleeves over my hands, I slowly make my way through the park and pass by the gazebo.

  I hear laughing and look up to see Tommy and apparently his new girlfriend. For some reason my legs have stopped and I’m staring. The smile on his face sends a pain to my chest I can’t stand. His smiles used to belong to me, but I can’t be upset about all that now. I made my choice, and I’ll make it again when I leave. Just as I’m about to walk away, he looks over at me. Our eyes lock and I swallow.

  “Why you standing over there staring?” he asks.

  I feel my cheeks turn red as I watch him stand up while the woman beside him looks my way. She’s pretty and I feel extremely creepy for watching them. Shit.

  “Josie, this used to be my best friend. I’d like you to meet her.” He holds out his hand for her to take. She stands slowly, looking perplexed as he links their fingers, and I can’t help but watch. My eyes shoot back to him.

  “This is Ellie Williams,” he says.

  She peers over at Tommy, and I see something come across her face. Recognition?

  “Nice to meet you.” I bite my lip and clear my throat. This is awkward.

  “You too,” she says quietly.

  Tommy, seeming to be cool as a cucumber, slides his hands into his pockets and looks me over.

  “How’s school?” he asks as though nothing is weird or uncomfortable.

  “Fine,” I reply.

  He nods. “You see, Josie. Ellie took off about… What is it now? A little over two years?” he asks.

  “Three.” I dig my nails into my sweater because he knows how long.

  “Oh damn, that long?” he says caustically. “Well, she decided she was too good for a small town like Green Ridge. She wanted to go live in the big city. Me, personally,” he says, removing his hand from his pocket and pointing it at himself, “I’ve done the big city thing. It’s not that great. Loud noises and a shitload of crime. Anyway, L, here,” he casts his eyes back to me, “she also wanted to get away from her reputation.” He cups the side of his mouth like he only wants her to hear his next words. “Her mom was a wrist cutter, and that’s how she went out.”

  Josie’s eyes grow wide and mine narrow. My heart starts pounding with anger, and a sick feeling rises in my throat. I want to cry. I want to scream at him to shut up, but I do neither.

  He looks over at her. “Her parents really loved each other, Josie. Like fairytale loved each other and her dad didn’t take it so well when Sara, Ellie’s mom, got tired of living. So, he went down a bad road and poor little Ellie here…”

  “Tommy,” I warn.

  He turns back to me. “What?” His eyes burn into mine. I can’t see it, though. I can’t find the Tommy I left three years ago. This person is a stranger, and he’s fucking heartless.

  “That’s enough. I think she gets it. Josie, it was nice to meet you. Good luck with this guy.” I turn to leave, wishing I could run, but I don’t want more eyes on us. Regardless, my steps are quick, and as I turn the corner into an alley away from the park, I lean back against the brick wall and close my eyes. Tears fall down my cheeks and my fingers shake.

  “Stupid girl,” I breathe out as I wipe my face. “Why did you come back?” I whisper.

  “Why did you come back?”

  I jerk my head over and see Tommy standing only a few feet away from me.

  “Leave me alone.” I sniff and push off the wall, walking away from him.

  “No!” he yells after me, quickly catching up and grabbing my arm. “You don’t get to walk away from me, L.”

  I furiously swipe another tear from my cheek as he turns me around.

  “After that?” I ask angrily.

  “Oh, that?” he says bitterly. “That was nothing compared to what you did to me!” He points to me before stabbing his finger into his chest. Red rises on his neck, and his veins protrude as he seethes at me. I shake my arm out of his hold, and he lets it drop.

  “I don’t even know who you are. I want nothing to do with you. Don’t follow me.” Anger mixed with sick sadness burns my chest. Turning, I walk away f
rom the boy I’ve missed for so long. He laughs, but there is no humor.

  “You made that very clear when you left three years ago, baby. You're nothing but a coward.”

  I turn around and walk back to him. “I hate you. I hate everything about you!” I say, shoving him.

  “You don’t hate me.”

  “Fuck you.” I shove him again, and he grabs my arms, stopping me from doing it once more.

  “Fuck me?” He holds my wrists, and I stand my ground. “The day you left, I went to your house. I was going to apologize for acting like a dick. I had to find out from the chief that you took off. I called and called, apparently to a phone that no longer worked. Hell, I even wrote you a letter because Leigh finally took pity on me and gave me your address.” He looks at me as though I make him sick.

  I cast my eyes to the side, thinking of the letter he sent me. I sniff and let a shaky breath leave my lips.

  “So no, Ellie. Fuck you.” He drops my hands, and I stand still as he backs away. He pulls his smokes from his front pocket and turns. I hear the flick of his lighter and then watch smoke rise from in front of him as he disappears around the corner. I sink to the ground, and this time I don’t stop the tears.

  *

  My mom’s clothes are still where she left them. I take them out of the closet and place them onto my dad’s bed. Climbing on top, I lie down and breathe in deeply, wishing her scent hadn’t disappeared along with her. Closing my eyes, I rub the soft cotton of her summertime dress. Blinking, I notice a book sitting on my dad’s nightstand.

  I sit up and reach over, blowing a stray curl out of my face. I flip over onto my back and run my hand across the words written on the front of what I now see is a journal.

  Sara Williams, pieces of my crazy mind.

  My mom had a journal? I open to the first page and read her words. Sitting up and crossing my legs, I flip through the book, seeing the dates each entry was written. I read how some days she didn’t want to get out of bed. She talks about Dad and how much she loves him and how she wishes she could be different. Tears fill my eyes, and I rub my chin as she tells me more about both her sad days and confused days. I get to know her through her words, and my heart tightens as I realize just how sad and lost she was.