He could hear her; she knew he could. He understood exactly what he was doing.
And he didn’t care.
She woke up screaming.
Pela was there in an instant, sitting beside her on the bed, trying to soothe her. “It’s all right, Princess, it’s all right, just a dream. You’re here and safe with me now, do you see?”
Meg didn’t respond; she reached out for Jakl, terrified but needing to know how much of the dream had been real. Was he raging again, as he’d been that day he came for her in the garden? No . . . she didn’t think so. He was angry, but she thought he’d been dreaming, too. He seemed more confused and afraid than anything else. She forced herself not to flinch from him as he reached back toward her. It’s all right, she thought at him. We’re going to find a way to make this stop — I promise.
He seemed to be struggling with something; she waited to feel him accept her reassurance, to relax, to let go of his fear, but he didn’t seem able to do so. Instead she felt the confusion growing again, and the anger along with it. Suddenly he wrenched himself away from her, screaming in rage and pain.
“No!” she cried aloud, feeling him slip back into that frightening place where she couldn’t reach him.
She became aware of Pela’s fingers digging into her arm. “Princess!” she was shouting. “Princess, what is it? What’s happening?”
“Pela, I’m — I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you. I have to go —”
“What is it? That sound, is it your dragon?”
Meg realized she wasn’t just feeling Jakl’s screams through the link; she could hear him with her ears as well. He was closer than she’d thought.
“Oh, no, no,” Meg whispered, pushing herself from the bed and stuffing her feet into her boots. She burst through the door and down the hall.
Pela followed after her, still shouting. “Princess, come back! Where are you going?”
Meg couldn’t stop to explain. She had to get to him before something happened. “Get Calen!” she shouted back over her shoulder. Pela dashed off at once, without another word.
Already Meg could hear other voices in the castle, people crying out in alarm and confusion.
Jakl, please, she thought, stop this, I’m coming, please, listen to me. It was a dream, just a dream, you’re fine, we’re both fine. . . .
She let the flow of thought continue, barely even aware of the words she was forming in her head, just trying to reassure him that everything was going to be all right. Unfortunately, she wasn’t at all certain that it was going to be all right. This was more than just the nightmare. Something was happening to him. To both of them. She was losing him somehow, but she didn’t know to what, or how, or why.
It seemed to take forever to reach the garden entrance. Meg ran out into the night and looked up. He was there, circling, screaming into the night sky. With horror, she realized the castle guard was already outside. They had crossbowmen with them. She knew they’d all been instructed never to harm the dragon, but they hadn’t been told why. She didn’t know how faithfully they’d keep to the order if Jakl looked as though he were going to attack.
She ran out to the field she and Jakl often used for takeoffs and landings and general lounging and screamed at him through the link to follow her. She couldn’t tell if he was even aware of her right now. He reminded her abruptly of a horse she’d seen once who had trampled a wasps’ nest and been stung so many times that it drove him mad. The horse had broken a fence, wounded two guards, and killed a stableboy who tried to stop him before he was brought down with arrows. He had screamed until the last, kicking and writhing in his pain until he finally died. Meg swallowed and tried to push the image from her mind. That was not going to happen to her dragon.
She stood in the center of the field and stared up at the sky, watching him. She reached for him again through the link, trying to push past the swirl of confusing emotions that seemed to block her way. Jakl, listen to me! Nothing is wrong! Come down here and let me try to help you!
She felt a glimmer of response and pushed harder. He was in there, some part of him wanted to come to her, she could feel it. She had to help him find his way through the anger and fear. I’m right here, she thought. I’m waiting for you, I’m not going anywhere. Come down. Please come down.
A flicker of motion caught her eye, and she saw several guards approaching her, some fixed on her position, others looking warily upward. She pointed at them and shouted, “No! You stay back! I have to take care of this.” The guard nearest to her hesitated, and he was close enough that she could see him trying to decide whether to listen to her. For a moment, she opened herself up to Jakl’s anger and willed some of it to flow through her, adding to what she was already feeling on her own. She lowered her voice slightly and spoke just to the closest guard. “If you do anything to make him worse, I swear I will make you very, very sorry.”
Something in her expression must have convinced him. With a wave of his hand, he started back and beckoned the other guards to follow.
Siphoning off that bit of Jakl’s anger had seemed to help. There was more of him trying to reach back to her. She wondered suddenly why she had even had to try to take on his anger; it should have come through relentlessly, overwhelming her, whether she wanted to feel it or not. What he was feeling now was far too strong for her to try to block, even if she had dared to consider it — and she couldn’t have; she needed the link wide open for her to be able to try and help him right now. So she should have been feeling all of his anger, but she wasn’t. Somehow he was experiencing all of it, alone, as if the link had become one-way, taking her dream-emotions and sending them through to Jakl and not letting him release them back to her.
Could that be what was happening? Could Sen Eva — if the nightmares were truly her doing — be directly affecting the link, interfering with the way it worked? The thought made her sick inside. It was like having a traitor inside her own heart. Jakl needed that link to reach back to her. If he couldn’t . . . gods, no wonder he was going crazy.
Meg closed her eyes and tried to draw off more of the dragon’s anger. If she could take more of it, maybe he’d be able to calm down enough to come back to himself. Whatever was wrong with the link, it wasn’t blocked entirely. She could pull some of Jakl’s emotions back to her if she thought consciously about it. He hadn’t been able to share with her on his own, but she could help him, now that she knew what was going on.
It’s all right, she thought at him again. I see what to do. I’m going to help you. It was maddening, that someone should intrude upon their private connection in this way. Jakl was hers, they were each other’s, and for someone else to touch that, to interfere in the way they were joined together, to hurt her and especially to hurt him . . . She thought she already hated Sen Eva as much as it was possible to hate another person, but the woman kept finding new ways to be loathsome. When Meg found her again, she would not miss her opportunity a second time. She was going to make her pay, to hurt her for everything she had done, for everything she was trying to do. The woman was evil; she was barely even human. She deserved to suffer, to be in pain and torment and to die horribly, and if Meg had the chance, she would — she would —
The rage inside her became too much for rational thought, and she opened her mouth and screamed up at the stars, hating them for shining down as though nothing were wrong, as though nothing were happening. She hated them — she hated everything. She —
She heard something, but she couldn’t seem to focus. It felt like someone was touching her, but she didn’t . . . she couldn’t . . . she felt —
“Meg!”
There it was again. Her name — someone was calling her. . . . In that moment of realization, she felt Jakl suddenly there again, back to himself and trying to reach her as well. She shook her head, trying to clear it. She felt . . . she was so angry, she didn’t know what to do with it, how to stand here without bursting into flames of rage. Like the dream — oh, gods . . .
“Meg, can you hear me?”
She turned, and there was Calen, standing beside her, his hand on her arm. His face was bleeding.
“Calen?”
“Yes, I’m here.” He seemed immensely relieved to have her attention. She noticed the guards standing back several yards behind him, all of them watching her.
“What happened to your face?” She reached out toward him and then froze, staring at her outstretched hand. Her fingernails were bloody.
“Did I . . . ? Oh, gods, oh, Calen, did I do that?” Her voice was a whisper. She couldn’t seem to look away from her fingers.
“It’s all right,” he said. “Don’t worry about that now.”
The ground shook as Jakl landed as close as he dared. He was next to her instantly, his head pressing against her side. She reached down to touch him, reassured by his warm presence, both here and in her mind again, clearly, no longer muddled and distant.
“What happened, Meg?” Calen asked gently. “What happened?”
“I think . . .” Her voice hurt from screaming. She swallowed and tried again. “I think it’s Sen Eva. Through my dreams. She did something to the link, Calen. Or was doing something. The link wasn’t working. Jakl was trapped, alone with all that anger . . .” She could still feel the remnants of it inside her, embers waiting to be fanned back into flame. She tried to take deep breaths and calm herself down.
“It’s all right,” Calen said. “We’ll figure out how to stop it. Serek is here, and Anders, and we can go with them right now and explain, okay?”
“No,” she said. “No, I need to stay here for a little while.”
Calen’s eyes went to Jakl and then back to her face. “Of course,” he said. “Whatever you need. That’s fine.”
Serek came up behind him then. Meg wasn’t sure how much he had heard, if anything. She saw Pela standing nearby, as well, looking worried. And then her parents were there, too. Her mother knelt in front of her and looked searchingly at her face.
“Are you all right, Meg?”
“Yes, I think so,” she said. The fear in her mother’s eyes made her want to cry. “I’m sorry,” she said miserably. “It wasn’t our fault. She did this to us. Jakl couldn’t help it.”
Her father came forward and hugged her tightly, making a valiant effort to pretend he didn’t notice the way Jakl refused to move and therefore made the mechanics of the hug a little awkward. “It’s all right. We just want you to be safe, that’s all. We’ll . . . figure out the rest somehow, don’t worry.”
Meg closed her eyes for a moment, losing herself in the comfort of her father’s strong arms. He hadn’t hugged her like that in a long time. Not even when she’d come back from Lourin. Perhaps especially not then. Neither of her parents had seemed inclined to want to hug her then.
A shout from Nan Vera made them all turn, and then Maurel was there, darting past everyone to throw her arms around Meg, too. It ended up being a bit of a mess of arms and Meg and dragon, but Meg didn’t mind one bit. This was good, having these important pieces of her family here around her. This helped her remember who she was, too.
Her father stepped back, picking up Maurel, and Meg repeated her wishes about staying outside for a bit longer. Serek murmured something to the king that she couldn’t hear, and her father nodded reluctantly and let himself be led back inside. The queen squeezed Meg’s hand once and then followed. Serek left, too, and Pela, and the guards, and everyone, except Calen.
“Can I stay out here with you?” he asked.
“Yes. Yes, please.”
They sat down in the damp, dew-covered grass. Meg leaned back against Jakl, and the dragon curled around her so that the tip of his nose was resting beside her lap. Calen arranged himself to face her. She saw Jakl’s tail twitch across to Calen and twine itself loosely around his body. Yes, she thought at him. That’s right. Calen’s here with us, too. We’re not alone.
Jakl responded with a gentle reflection of her own feelings, and she finally felt the last of the anger and fear slip away into nothingness. They sat together that way for a long time. No one came out to bother them, and Calen never once seemed the slightest bit impatient to bring her inside.
They did go inside eventually. It was chilly out there in the field, and Meg was still only wearing her nightgown and boots. Jakl’s warm body helped, but not quite enough. And they had to go in and figure out what could be done to stop the dreams. This could not happen again.
Jakl did not want her to go, but he seemed to understand the necessity. She hugged him tightly around the neck one more time, and then she and Calen walked slowly back toward the castle. A guard posted at the door let them know that Serek and the king were waiting for them in Serek’s study.
When they got there, Anders opened the door and ushered them inside. Meg explained again what she thought had happened, repeating what she’d told Calen out in the field.
“He didn’t . . . no one else was hurt, were they?” Meg asked when she was through. She thought she would know if Jakl had harmed anyone, but with all the confusion inside them both, she wasn’t entirely sure.
“No one was hurt, Meg,” her father said. “Just frightened.”
“I’m sorry,” Meg said. “I should have told you what was happening. I just — you were already so uneasy about the dragon, and I — well, I was just afraid to tell you. I know it was wrong. Cowardly. I know I haven’t been behaving as I should be. I will do better, Father. I promise.”
“Don’t worry about any of that now, Meg,” he said. “Let’s just see what Mage Serek can do to help.” Meg couldn’t quite read her father’s expression. She suspected he wasn’t entirely sure how he was feeling right now, either. All of this was so confusing. For all of them.
She looked at Serek. “I should have let Calen tell you how bad it was getting, too. We shouldn’t have waited this long.”
“Yes, well,” Serek said, “let’s see what we can do, now that we know.”
“How is any of this even possible?” Calen asked abruptly. “Dragons are resistant to magic. Sen Eva shouldn’t be able to hurt Jakl.”
“We’ve been discussing that,” Serek said. “We think the problem is that she’s attacking Meg and, through her, the link, and since Meg is not protected in the same way Jakl is, she is vulnerable. And then Jakl becomes vulnerable, through her.”
“Oh,” Calen said. “I . . . guess that makes sense.”
“Will I have to go to sleep again, for you to stop her?” Meg asked. That seemed like a very bad idea, but if it was the only way . . .
Serek and Anders exchanged a look. “We’ve been talking about that, too,” Serek said. “We do need you to be sleeping in order for the spell to work. But since we’ve done it once already, we think we can do it more quickly this time. You might only need to be asleep for a minute.”
“The trickier question is whether your link to the dragon is going to affect the spell somehow,” Anders said. “We don’t want to accidentally cause some other kind of trouble while trying to protect you from Sen Eva.”
“Wait,” Calen said. “How do you . . . ?”
“Serek explained about the link to me,” Anders said. He turned to Meg. “I understand it is very privileged information, Princess. I will keep your secret.”
“Unfortunately, Sen Eva seems to understand even more than we do about the link,” Serek said. “We know she realized there was some kind of connection between you and the dragon during the fight on the tower, but it seems she has since figured out a great deal more. Which we have to assume means Mage Krelig also knows about the link, and perhaps is the source of Sen Eva’s greater understanding.”
“Oh,” Meg said. “But . . . you’re still going to try, aren’t you? You have to try!”
“Yes,” Serek said. “But Calen is going to be conducting the main part of the spell.”
“What?” said Calen.
“You’re the only one of us who has any experience with the link,” Serek explai
ned calmly. “You’ve used magic involving the link before.”
“But I didn’t know what I was doing! And I won’t now, either! I could hurt them —”
“He just needs to argue and tell us how dangerous it’s going to be first,” Meg broke in. “I’ve seen it before. Don’t worry — he’ll come around.”
“Meg!” Calen shouted, not sounding the least bit amused.
“You have to do this, Calen,” she told him. “You know you can, and you know that it will be even more dangerous not to try, so stop stalling and let’s just get it over with, all right?”
He stared at her, opened his mouth, then closed it again.
“Oh, fine,” he said grumpily. He turned back to Serek. “What do I need to do?”
“It’s going to be the same spell you watched us perform on Wilem,” Serek said. “I’ll talk you through it as we go. Anders and I will be with you, but you’ll need to lead the way.”
Calen nodded, and Meg could see him leaving his objections behind and focusing on the task ahead. She trusted him to do this for her. He just needed a push sometimes — that was all.
Meg lay down on the floor in the center of the room. It seemed silly to march up to her bedroom, especially if she wasn’t going to be asleep for very long. Calen ran into his room for a moment and came back with a pillow, which he tucked gently under her head. She smiled up at him, and he gave her a quick smile in return. And then he was all business, as he and the two mages prepared to cast the spell.
“Ready?” Calen asked her when he and the mages had finished discussing the logistics among themselves.
“Yes.”
“All right. Anders is going to put you to sleep. And then . . . I don’t know how much you’ll be aware of. Wilem didn’t seem to know that we were there.”
The Princess of Trelian Page 19