The thought did little to improve his already fragile temper and he glowered at the other man. ‘Don’t tell me we have another problem on our hands.’
‘No. Despite what you may have thought, it’s good news this time.’ Thankfully, Matthias took the hint and didn’t pursue the subject. ‘I have just received a message to say that your equipment has arrived. It’s being unloaded at this very moment, in fact, so I shall send a truck to the airfield to collect it. It would be helpful if the driver had a list so he can check that it’s all there.’
‘I can let you have a copy of the inventory,’ Adam offered immediately. ‘The last thing we want is for half of it to go missing. There’s a lot of valuable equipment in that consignment.’
‘Indeed.’ Matthias drank some of his coffee and shuddered. Picking up a handful of sugar packets, he tore them open and tipped the contents into his mug.
Adam chuckled. ‘I see you still have a sweet tooth. Remember those Belgian chocolates one of the French guys brought with him?’
‘Do I?’ Matthias groaned. ‘I still dream about those chocolates, my friend. Their richness, the smoothness of the chocolate as it melted on one’s tongue…I tell you, eating them was a truly orgasmic experience.’
‘I’m sure your wife would appreciate hearing you say that,’ he said dryly.
‘Ah, but Sarah knows how much I love her.’ Matthias laughed softly. ‘She wouldn’t mind me finding pleasure elsewhere so long as it was only with a box of chocolates. Passion is something we should all enjoy, no matter what form it takes.’
‘I’m afraid I can’t agree with you there. In my experience, passion is the most dangerous emotion of all because it makes fools of us all.’
Unbidden, his eyes skimmed across the room again and his heart contracted when he saw Kasey laughing at something Daniel had said to her. He’d never experienced real passion until he’d met her, never known what it was like to physically ache for a woman. Every time he’d been with her his heart had leapt, his breathing had grown shallow, his brain had gone fuzzy. He’d barely been able to function while he’d been in her thrall and yet at the same time he’d felt more alive than he’d felt either before or since. The passion he’d felt for Kasey had consumed him utterly, so that he’d felt like a shell when she’d left him, and the memory was more than he could stand. Pushing back his chair, he strode across the room.
‘I hate to interrupt your little tête-à-tête but we’re here to work, not fool around. Why are you both in here? I thought David was operating this morning so one of you should be in Theatre and the other should be assessing patients ready for the afternoon list.’
‘The cleaners are in Theatre, sorting everything out after our last stint,’ Daniel explained, looking somewhat taken aback. ‘I thought I’d take a break while I had the chance.’
‘And I felt like a cup of coffee, although I didn’t realise that I needed to ask your permission first, Adam. Perhaps you’d be kind enough to give it to me retrospectively.’
Kasey stared up at him, the chill in her deep blue eyes such a contrast to the warmth he’d seen in them when she’d been talking to Daniel that his anger soared to new heights. He glared back at her, bending so that their faces were mere inches apart.
‘Coffee-breaks are normally taken after all the work is done.’
‘Which is why I’m taking my break now.’ She didn’t back down but held his gaze. ‘I’ve seen everyone who’s scheduled for Theatre today. If you don’t believe me, you can check.’
‘Including Amelia Undobe?’
‘No.’ Her lids flickered down for a moment before she looked at him again. ‘Obviously, I made a mistake and missed her out. I apologise. I’ll get right onto it.’
She pushed back her chair and stood up. Adam stepped back as she brushed past him, curbing the sudden urge he felt to call her back and apologise. He knew that he’d had no right to speak to her like that when she hadn’t known that Amelia had been brought into the hospital, and was suddenly filled with self-loathing for the way he was behaving. He would have to try and make amends somehow so when Daniel stood up as well, he turned to him and shrugged.
‘Sorry. I was out of order for saying that.’
‘You were.’ Daniel’s normally cheerful expression was subdued now. ‘I’m not so bothered for myself but it really isn’t on to have a go at Kasey. She certainly isn’t a shirker when it comes to work. In fact, she volunteered to work last night when we had an emergency rushed in, and turned up bang on time this morning to do her own shift.’
‘I had no idea—’ Adam began.
‘No. I didn’t think you had. You’re too busy finding fault to realise what a first-rate worker she is.’ Daniel pushed his chair under the table. ‘And for your information, I was the one who suggested she take a coffee-break. So if you want to come down heavy on anyone, it should be me.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Adam repeated, but the damage had been done. Daniel was right, too, because it had been grossly unfair of him to lay into Kasey like that. There was no excuse and he certainly couldn’t absolve himself by admitting that it had been seeing them together that had made him behave that way. He had no right to be jealous because Kasey enjoyed Daniel’s company, no right to be jealous if she enjoyed more than that, in fact.
The thought of what that ‘more’ might entail was too difficult to deal with. Adam swung round and headed for the door. He needed to concentrate on work instead of letting all these other issues distract him.
‘Don’t forget that inventory, Adam. You were going to let me have a copy.’
Matthias followed him from the canteen and he stopped. ‘Yes, of course. Sorry. It’s in the office. I’ll fetch it for you,’ he said shortly because it wasn’t like him to forget something as important as that. It just seemed to prove how distracted he was, and it had to stop.
He made his way to the tiny space beneath the stairs that he’d commandeered for his office and unlocked the door. The papers were on his desk and he handed them to Matthias. ‘That’s the full list. Each packing case is labelled so it should be easy enough to check everything off.’
‘I just need one copy.’ Matthias peeled apart the sheets and handed back the rest. ‘I shall despatch a driver immediately to collect the consignment. Do you want it brought here or taken to the hostel.’
‘Here…No, the hostel…I’m not sure.’ Adam took a deep breath to clear the fug from his head. He had to get a grip if he was to avoid making a fool of himself again. ‘Bring everything here. And tell the driver to come and find me when he arrives. I’ll get one of the team to sort out the best place to store everything until we can get set up.’
‘Fine.’ Matthias folded the paper and tucked it into his pocket but his expression was grave when he looked up. ‘I may be speaking out of turn but you need to resolve this problem you have with Dr Harris. You are both under enough stress without making your lives even more difficult.’
Adam sighed after Matthias left. He knew that in other circumstances he would have advocated the same course of action. Talking about a problem was usually the best way to resolve it, but he really couldn’t see it helping in this instance. The last thing he wanted was to rake up his past mistakes so he would just have to start thinking and acting like the team leader again—put aside his personal feelings and make sure he got the best out of everyone. He’d had enough practice over the years, so it shouldn’t be that difficult.
Kasey was in the treatment room when he went back to check on Amelia. She was talking to the little girl so he waited by the door, not wanting to interrupt her. Not surprisingly, the child had been very traumatised when she’d been brought in. She’d lost a lot of blood and had been in a great deal of pain, too, but the fluids and pain relief had kicked in now. He saw Amelia smile shyly when Kasey bent to tenderly stroke her hair and felt a rush of longing suddenly hit him. He would give ten years of his life if only he could have her touch him that way!
Kasey suddenly looked up
and saw him standing by the door, and his heart ached when he saw the warmth immediately disappear from her eyes to be replaced by wariness. She was on her guard now she knew he was there and he found it unbearably painful to know that. He didn’t want to fight with her. He wanted to feel the way he’d done five years ago, happy and exhilarated, filled with his love for her…
His breath caught when it struck him what he was doing. He really couldn’t believe that he’d thought such a thing! There was no going back and no way he would want to do so either. Kasey had played him for a fool once already and he wasn’t going to give her a second chance to destroy his life. Maybe he was still attracted to her but that was all it was—physical attraction, the most basic of all human emotions, and he would get over it. Eventually. He had to, because there was no place in his life or his heart for a woman like Kasey Harris.
Kasey felt a shiver skip down her spine when she saw the way Adam was looking at her. Since the night they’d operated on the man with the gunshot wounds, she’d deliberately kept out of his way. Maybe it was silly to be so chary, but hearing him state that he wouldn’t put her life at risk had made her feel incredibly defenseless, so she’d made up her mind to spend as little time as possible around him.
Fortunately, she’d found herself rostered to work with David Preston most of the time. David had been a little terse with her at first and she’d guessed that he’d taken note of Adam’s remarks and had been worried in case she couldn’t do her job properly. However, after a couple of stints in Theatre together he’d started to relax, and last night he’d seemed more than happy when she’d volunteered to help him with that emergency case. Slowly but surely she was being accepted by the team and if it weren’t for Adam’s continued hostility, everything would be fine. However, he seemed determined to think the worst of her.
‘How’s she doing?’ he asked, coming over to the bed.
‘Fine. BP is levelling off and her sats are greatly improved.’ She rattled off the figures—pulse, BP, oxygen saturation levels—because it was easier to focus on their patient than his inability to accept her as part of the team.
‘The fluids and pain relief have obviously helped, so are you happy for me to go ahead and operate,’ he asked with punctilious politeness.
‘Yes, sir.’ Kasey smiled at the girl, ignoring the way his brows drew together when she addressed him as ‘sir’. If he wanted professionalism, that’s what he’d get from now on. In spades! ‘That’s what you want, too, isn’t it, Amelia?’
‘Yes.’ The girl smiled shyly at them. ‘I want my feet made better.’
Adam’s expression was set as he bent and looked at the girl. ‘I shall do everything I can, Amelia, but you have to be really brave. I won’t be able to make your right foot better again and your left foot is very badly hurt, I’m afraid.’
Kasey saw tears well into Amelia’s eyes. Reaching over the bed, she plucked a tissue from the dispenser and wiped her eyes, wondering why he’d told her that. To her mind, it had been little short of cruel to have dashed the child’s hopes that way. Something of what she was thinking must have shown on her face because Adam drew her aside.
‘I know what you’re thinking but it’s best not to make promises you can’t possibly keep,’ he said flatly. ‘She has to understand that I can’t make her whole again, otherwise she’ll never come to terms with what has happened to her.’
‘But she’s only a child!’ Kasey protested. ‘Couldn’t you at least have tried to explain it to her a bit more gently?’
‘No. Her right foot is gone. That’s a fact. Her left one is so badly damaged that I won’t even rate my chances of putting it back together, let alone lay odds on her being able to walk on it in the future.’
His eyes held hers fast and she saw the pain they held and realised with a start that he was nowhere near as detached as he was pretending to be. ‘I wish I could perform miracles, Kasey, but I can’t. I can only do my best and in a case like this it falls far short of what any of us would like to do for the poor child.’
‘You’re right. And I’m sorry.’ She sighed when his brows rose. ‘You’d think I’d have got over this desire to cure everyone by now, wouldn’t you?’
‘Don’t apologise because you want what is best for your patients,’ he said gruffly. ‘If you don’t aim high then you’ll never achieve anything worthwhile.’
‘But there’s no point aiming for the impossible, is there? Amelia’s right foot is gone and the other is in a mess. You were right to make sure she understood that.’
‘Maybe. Maybe not.’ He shrugged. ‘Just because I think it’s the best approach, it doesn’t mean it’s right in this instance. As you pointed out, she’s only a child so maybe I should have tried to soften the blow.’
She stared at him in amazement. ‘You’re not saying that you think you might have been wrong?’
‘It has been known.’ A wash of colour ran up his face. ‘I was wrong to berate you earlier for taking a break and I apologise for it. Daniel told me that you’d been working last night and yet you still turned up on time this morning to do your shift.’
‘Of course I did,’ she said crisply, trying not to let him see how stunned she was by his apology. It had sounded sincere enough, so what had made him take her to task in the first place if all it had needed were a few words from Daniel to straighten things out?
‘There’s no “of course” about it. However, I don’t want you running yourself into the ground by doing more than your share. We have rotas for a reason so it would make more sense if you stuck to them in the future.’
Kasey immediately felt herself bridling. What was the point of him apologising if in the next breath he was telling her off? ‘I offered to assist David last night because I thought it would help to cement our working relationship. It was hard enough to gain his trust after what you said the other night so don’t you dare start telling me off.’
‘What I said?’ he repeated darkly. ‘Would you care to elaborate?’
‘You made it perfectly clear that you didn’t want me working with you when you operated on the man with the gunshot injury. Obviously, that put doubts in people’s minds about my ability, hence David’s initial wariness about working with me.’
‘I see. Then it looks like I owe you another apology, doesn’t it? Please, take it as read.’
He strode back to the bed, picking up Amelia’s chart and making a note on it. Kasey bit her lip. She hated being made to feel as though she’d been whining. She hadn’t told him that to drum up sympathy, certainly didn’t want him to think it had been a poor-little-me story, but that’s how he’d made her feel. She went back to the bed, determined that no matter what he said from now on, she wouldn’t react. Cool, calm and completely professional would be her maxim in the future, and if he didn’t like it, that was tough!
‘You can start the pre-med whenever you’re ready.’ Adam hung the clipboard on the end of the metal bedstead then glanced at her. ‘I’ll tell David that I need Theatre and take her straight there. It will disrupt the list but we can’t afford to wait any longer.’
‘Fine. When will our own equipment arrive, do you know?’ she asked, picking up the chart and noting down the pre-medication drugs she would use so they could keep an accurate record of the child’s treatment.
‘It’s already here. Matthias has sent a truck to the airfield to collect it. Once we have the theatre tent set up, we’ll be able to run two surgical teams—one in the hospital and the other under canvas. That should speed things up considerably.’
‘Good.’ She hung the notes back on the bed. ‘I’ll just have a word with Amelia’s parents and tell them what’s happening, then get her ready for you.’
‘Thank you.’ He half turned to leave then paused and she looked expectantly at him.
‘Yes?’
‘Nothing. I’ll see you in Theatre.’
He didn’t say anything else as he strode away. Kasey frowned as she watched the door close behind him. S
he’d had the distinct impression that he’d wanted to say something but had stopped at the last moment.
She sighed as it struck her that it had probably been another reprimand, only he’d thought better of it this time. As far as Adam was concerned she was more a liability than a help, so all she could do was ignore him and get on with her job. After all, she’d worked with other surgeons who’d been equally demanding and survived, although none of them had shared the kind of history she and Adam shared.
That’s what it all came down to, of course, not her ability or even the lack of it. It was what she’d done five years ago that had caused this rift and it would continue to cause problems until she managed to resolve the issue. The big question was, what could she do? Just how did you make amends for breaking someone’s heart?
CHAPTER FOUR
‘I’LL just tidy this up first. Hopefully, once the wound has healed, we’ll be able to see about getting her fitted with a prosthetic foot.’
Adam bent over the operating table and carefully removed some sharp splinters of bone which had broken off the end of the tibia. They were three hours into the operation to repair Amelia’s injuries and there was at least another hour’s work before he could finish off, but everyone seemed to be holding up.
He dropped the splinters into a dish, nodding his thanks when Lorraine moved it out of his way. It had made a huge difference having such a skilled team to work with and he appreciated the efforts everyone had made to remain focused despite the gruelling conditions they were working under. There was no air-conditioning in the hospital’s theatre and the heat was appalling, but there’d been no complaints. Everyone had just buckled down and got the job done, from the nursing staff to Kasey, who was acting as his anaesthetist. She’d been particularly alert to any possible problems and had maintained a constant vigil over the child. It made him feel incredibly guilty to know that he’d cast doubts in people’s minds about her ability. Kasey had always been a superb anaesthetist and he had to credit her for that if nothing else.
The Forever Assignment Page 5