Although maybe he could have tried harder to find a solution to Keiran’s problems, offered him more support, tried to counsel him. At the time he’d believed he’d been doing the right thing but, with hindsight, had he?
His mouth compressed as he let himself out of the front door because he wasn’t used to analysing his actions and having all these doubts. He knew there was little hope of him sleeping while he was in this frame of mind so he climbed into the Jeep and drove back to the hospital. Work was the best thing for him at the present time and there was always plenty of that.
David Preston was just crossing the foyer when Adam arrived and he looked at him in surprise. ‘How did you know we needed you here? Do you have second sight or something?’
‘Must do,’ he replied lightly, not wanting to go into the ins and outs of how he happened to be there. ‘What’s happened?’
‘There’s been some sort of fracas in town. I’m not sure exactly what happened but we’ve got three people injured. Two of them have serious stab wounds and the third looks as though he’s been badly beaten,’ David explained. ‘We’re going to have to operate on all three so I was just about to send someone to fetch you.’
‘We’re going to need some more staff as well,’ Adam decided. ‘There’s just Lorraine and Katie on tonight, plus a couple of the local nurses, isn’t there? So I’ll send someone over to the hostel. Is Tony in the treatment room?’
‘Yes. He’s trying to stabilise the chap who was beaten up. Looks like he could have a ruptured spleen.’
‘That will definitely need sorting out pronto.’
Adam made straight for the treatment room. Tony Bridges was putting a third line into the young man who was lying on the examination couch and he glanced round when Adam appeared.
‘I see the cavalry’s arrived. That was quick.’
‘I was already on my way back here,’ he explained briefly, checking the monitor readings. BP was way down and pulse rate wasn’t much better—both pointing towards massive internal bleeding and shock. ‘The sooner he’s in Theatre the better.’
‘Amen to that,’ Tony declared succinctly, opening the line and squeezing through the fluid. One of the local nurses, Florence, was helping him and Adam drew her aside.
‘I need someone to go to the hostel and fetch some of our staff back here. Do you know of anyone who could take a message for me?’
‘My son will go, Doctor. He is a good boy and he will be very quick.’
‘That would be great. Thanks.’
He found a pad, quickly wrote the message and handed it to her. She hurried away as he turned back to Tony again. ‘I’ll get everything set up. Bring him through as soon as you’re ready.’
‘Will do.’
Tony waved a languid hand, his eyes never leaving his patient as he continued pushing through the fluids. Adam smiled to himself as he made his way out of the building and into the theatre tent. Tony might give the impression of being half-asleep most of the time but he was a first-rate doctor for all that.
He unzipped the outer flap of the tent and let himself in, flicking on the generator as he went so that within seconds the whole place was lit up. The mobile theatre unit was really three tents in one: the first section—the entrance—was the least sterile area so he kicked off his boots and left them there before moving through to the next area which was where they showered and scrubbed up.
Stripping down to his underpants, he grabbed a towel and headed for the showers. He towelled himself dry afterwards and was just fastening the draw cord on a pair of green cotton scrub trousers when someone else came into the tent. Adam paused, the top he’d been about to pull over his head dangling from his hand as he waited for Daniel to join him. He knew that he owed the anaesthetist an apology for the way he’d spoken to him at dinner and there was no time like the present to get it over with. The words were actually forming on his lips when the tent flap lifted and Kasey appeared.
‘Where’s Daniel?’ he demanded, looking past her.
‘I asked him to swop with me.’
She let the flap drop back into place and walked over to the bench. Facilities in the mobile unit were, by necessity, communal and he felt a rush of heat in his groin when she turned her back to him and stripped off her T-shirt.
‘Was there a particular reason why you wanted to trade places with him tonight?’ he ground out, doing his damnedest to prevent the inevitable happening. He failed—miserably—and cursed his treacherous body when he felt it quicken with desire.
‘I didn’t think it was fair to put him in the firing line again.’ She glanced over her shoulder and he could see the reproach in her eyes. ‘Your quarrel is with me, Adam, not Daniel or anyone else on this team. It isn’t fair to get at them because they are being supportive of me.’
‘It isn’t fair to be made to feel like the villain either,’ he snapped back, and saw her eyes widen.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Nothing. Forget it. We have more important things to worry about.’ He dragged the top of the scrub suit over his head then jumped when he emerged and discovered that she was standing in front of him.
‘I have never tried to make out that you are the bad guy.’
‘I didn’t say you had,’ he countered, because he desperately needed to stay focused. All she had on now was a bra and a pair of trousers, and it was far too little for his personal comfort.
‘The last thing I want is folk taking sides,’ she persisted, seemingly oblivious to his dilemma. ‘I would never forgive myself if that happened.’
‘Fine.’ He swung round but she caught hold of his arm.
‘You do believe me, don’t you? I know we’ve had our differences in the past but I would never do or say anything to undermine you in any way, Adam.’
‘Yes, I do believe you. Now, if you’ve quite finished…’
‘I don’t know why I bother! You won’t even try to accept that I genuinely mean what I say.’ She spun round on her heel and marched back to the bench.
‘I do believe you!’ he ground out, his blood pressure reaching danger level as he forced himself to stay where he was and not to go after her. Heat fizzed along his veins as his body made a very positive statement about what might happen if he followed her and he shifted uncomfortably to ease the growing pressure in his loins. ‘I do believe you,’ he repeated more quietly, but she refused to be mollified.
‘You’ve a funny way of showing it.’
‘For pity’s sake, Kasey, how do you expect us to have a rational conversation with you in that state!’ He swept a hand towards her and saw the colour rush up her cheeks when she realised what he meant.
‘Oh!’
‘Oh, indeed,’ he replied dryly, then chuckled when it struck him how ridiculous the situation was. He shook his head when she looked at him in surprise. ‘Crazy, isn’t it? I know you hate my guts for what I did to your brother, but I still want you.’
‘I don’t hate you, Adam.’
‘No? Then maybe you should.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘That perhaps I should have shown more compassion.’ He sighed wearily. ‘All I can say in my own defence is that I did what I thought was right at the time, and if I got it wrong then I’m sorry.’
‘Thank you.’ Her voice was choked with tears but she waved him away when he took a step towards her. ‘No, please, don’t. I shouldn’t be getting upset when we have a patient to worry about.’
She quickly made her way into one of the shower stalls and drew the curtain. Adam ran his hands through his hair, wishing he could do something but not sure what. In the end, he followed her example and got ready—scrubbing up and putting on a gown—so that by the time the patient arrived he was fully prepared.
Kasey joined him a few minutes later and set about her job with a precision that hinted that she, too, was making a determined effort not to think about anything apart from her job. Maybe she felt as unsure as he did and he was grateful that she didn�
��t let it show because he didn’t think he could have coped with much more that night. It was easier to focus on work than think about all the what-ifs that were trying to invade his mind: what if they managed to resolve their differences; what if she decided he wasn’t to blame; what if…?
No! They didn’t help. They just made him feel more confused. He needed to stick to the facts and not get sidetracked by wishful thinking, and the fact that Kasey had pretended to be in love with him was something he couldn’t ignore. All the time they’d been together she had been pretending and she’d been very good at it, too, because he’d never once doubted her sincerity and that led him to fact number two.
How could he ever trust her again? If she’d lied to him once, she might do it a second time—and that led him on to fact number three.
He really and truly couldn’t face having his heart broken all over again.
‘Urine output’s dropped.’
Adam glanced up as Kasey updated him on their patient’s status. ‘He’s lost so much blood that kidney failure was almost inevitable. Have we managed to cross-match yet?’
‘Joan is still working on it. I’ll give him another litre of O-neg for now.’
‘And let me know if his urine output drops any further,’ he instructed, returning his attention to the task of removing the patient’s ruptured spleen. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d performed the operation but he also couldn’t recall seeing a spleen that had been so badly damaged before. The organ had been literally pulverised and removing it took time, care and patience.
An alarm suddenly sounded on the monitoring equipment and he looked up. Kasey was breaking open a vial of drugs and drawing the contents up into a syringe. She slid the needle into the catheter inserted into the back of the patient’s hand, her forehead creasing into a frown as she studied the monitor screen.
‘He’s asystolic,’ she said, moving aside the drapes and reaching for the paddles of the defibrilator. She charged the machine then looked round. ‘Clear!’
Adam stepped away from the table as did Lorraine who’d been assisting them. They both waited in silence to see if an output had been established but the monitor showed that the patient still didn’t have a heartbeat. Kasey tried twice more to establish a heart rhythm but it was no good. The patient had died from a combination of blood loss and shock, and no amount of hi-tech equipment would bring him back.
‘Sorry,’ she said, switching off the machines.
‘It wasn’t your fault,’ Adam said bluntly. ‘Blame the folk who did this to him because they’re the ones who killed him.’
‘I guess so.’
Her tone was flat as she began disconnecting all the tubes and leads. Lorraine gave her a commiserating smile as she loaded their instruments onto the trolley and wheeled it away. Kasey smiled back but he could tell that she was genuinely upset. As soon as they were on their own, he moved around the table and stood in front of her.
‘There was nothing else you could have done, Kasey. His spleen was in a real mess and heaven knows what other injuries he had as well.’
‘I know. It’s just hard when you get this far and lose someone, isn’t it?’
‘It is, but it’s also the nature of the job. If people weren’t very sick, we wouldn’t be trying to help them.’
She gave him a tentative smile. ‘You always did have a way of making sense of what happened.’
‘Did I? It’s nice to know that I have some good points.’
He turned away but she put her hand on his arm and her eyes were troubled when they met his. ‘You have a lot of good points, Adam. More good ones than bad, in fact.’
‘It doesn’t feel that way from where I’m standing,’ he said honestly. ‘I seem to have done nothing but upset folk recently.’
‘And that’s all because of me.’ She shook her head when he went to speak. ‘It’s true. I should never have come, should I? I’ve just ended up making a bad situation worse, and that wasn’t what I wanted to do.’
‘Why did you decide to come when you knew you’d be working with me?’ he asked curiously.
‘Stubbornness.’ Kasey sighed when he stared at her in surprise. ‘I decided that I’d made enough changes to my life because of you and that it was time I stopped running away.’
‘Running away? What do you mean by that?’
‘I took the job at St Edward’s because of you and I left it for the same reason. I didn’t want to leave because I enjoyed working there, but obviously I couldn’t have stayed after we split up. I found it very difficult to settle into another job after that so I took a series of short-term contracts and moved around a lot.’
She shrugged. ‘When I saw the ad for Worlds Together it seemed like the ideal solution. I’d be able to travel abroad and do the kind of work that I’d never done before yet still keep a toe-hold in the UK through my contract work. I was so geared up to doing it that it was a bolt from the blue when I found out you would be in charge of my first posting.’
‘It didn’t put you off, though.’
‘Oh, yes, it did!’ She laughed shortly. ‘I almost told Shiloh that I wouldn’t be able to go, but then I realised if I did that, you would have won.’
‘Won?’ His brows rose steeply because he couldn’t for the life of him imagine what she meant.
‘Yes. My aim was only ever to pay you back for what you’d done to Keiran, but it backfired on me. Big time.’
She stared up at him and he could see the pain that lit her eyes as well as the regret. He knew he really should say something but he couldn’t seem to find the right words and she carried on.
‘I know I hurt you, Adam, and I’m sorry for that. I just wanted to show you how awful it feels to have your whole life torn apart. I never intended to break your heart and certainly didn’t plan on having mine broken as well.’
She smiled sadly when he gasped. ‘I can tell that you’re shocked but it’s true. You see, the one thing I never allowed for was that I would fall in love with you as well.’
‘In love with me?’
Adam heard the shock in his voice but it was the very least of his worries. He stared into her face, wondering how it was possible to feel so elated yet so devastated at the same time. Kasey had loved him, really loved him, and the thought made him want to turn cartwheels for joy, but that was merely the upside. The downside was all too obvious and it sent him plummeting into the very depths of despair.
She might have loved him in her own way but she’d still put her brother first. He could never have done that—he would have put her interests above everything else, moved heaven and earth if it had meant they could stay together. So just how deep could her love have been if she’d been able to walk away and leave him?
‘Yes, but don’t worry. I don’t expect you to believe me.’
She gave him a sad little smile that tugged at his heartstrings. When she turned, Adam gripped her hand.
‘I want to believe you, Kasey,’ he bit out, his voice trembling with the force of his emotions.
‘Do you?’ She covered his hand with hers and he felt the tremor that passed through her.
‘Yes. It’s just…difficult.’
‘I know.’
Reaching up, she kissed him softly on the cheek. Adam closed his eyes as myriad feelings washed through him. Joy and happiness, pain and sadness, every kind of emotion from both ends of the spectrum. Turning his head, he captured her lips and kissed her back, gently and with a tenderness that he couldn’t have disguised even if he’d wanted to, which he didn’t. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do but he was past thinking about the rights and wrongs and was merely reacting.
Kasey’s lips clung to his for a second before she drew back, and there were tears in her eyes as she laid her hand against his cheek. ‘What we had was very special, Adam, and I shall never regret the time we spent together.’
Adam couldn’t speak, he was too choked. And in the end he didn’t need to say anything because it appeared that
she didn’t expect an answer from him.
He took a deep breath as she turned away, held it because if he didn’t there would be too much room inside him for all the pain that was waiting to rush in. He knew in his heart that they still hadn’t resolved the issues that lay between them but they’d talked, not argued, and that was something positive to hold onto. It was definitely better than believing that Kasey hated him.
CHAPTER NINE
MORNING light filtered through the windows and Kasey woke up, although it was a moment before she realised that she was in the sitting room instead of her bedroom.
She got up and made her way into the hall because falling asleep in odd places had become a habit lately. She’d been too keyed up to sleep when she’d got back to the hostel in the early hours of the morning so had gone into the sitting room while she’d calmed down. Tony Bridges had driven her back from the hospital after Adam had announced that he intended to stay there and would cover for him. Tony had been delighted to get an early finish and hadn’t questioned the decision, but she’d understood the reasoning behind it. Adam had needed some time on his own to think about that revelation she’d made.
She went into the kitchen and filled the kettle, taking care not to make too much noise. It was just gone five and everyone else was still asleep. She wasn’t on duty until eight that morning and she intended to have her act together by then. She might have made a fool of herself by telling Adam that she’d been in love with him but she didn’t intend to run away and hide. She would carry on as though nothing had happened…
If he would let her.
The thought of the repercussions her confession might have was a sobering one. Adam had been shocked when she’d told him that she’d loved him so what if he decided that he couldn’t carry on working with her? The thought of not being allowed to work throughout the rest of her stay in Mwuranda was more than she could bear. She would go mad if she was forced to sit in the hostel, thinking about what had happened! She had to make sure Adam understood that last night’s revelations weren’t going to change anything by never alluding to it again and simply getting on with her job.
The Forever Assignment Page 13