When she handed Haley the glass, she hefted it in her hand for a second. “I guess that’s why they call it lead crystal, huh?”
“Don’t ask. Charlie had to pay her decorator a percentage of the total. She still doesn’t see how that encourages him to jack up the bill with stuff she doesn’t need. My wine glasses are from Target, and I don’t feel like I’ve committed murder when I break one.”
“These are nice, though,” Haley said, gazing at the graceful curve of the bowl, which sat upon a thin stem and an incongruously heavy base.
“I’ve changed my mind,” Piper said. “An expensive glass looks great in your hand. Worth it,” she decided, using a sing-song voice.
“I think it makes Charlie happy to buy you things. As long as she’s not spending more than she should, you might as well enjoy it.”
Piper shrugged. “Even though I help her out a lot, I don’t really know her finances. I write checks when she’s away and a bill comes in, but I never look at her statements. At least I don’t now. I stopped when she moved out.”
“When was that?”
“Not that long ago. She was twenty.”
“Didn’t you break up with Nina right about then?”
“Mmm…” She thought for a minute, timelines not always coming easily for her. “Charlie was still at home when we broke up, since that was an issue.”
“Because…” Haley led.
Piper hesitated, knowing she was going to sound like a helicopter parent. But she’d started down this road, and she had to keep going. “Nina wanted to move in, or to have me move in with her, but I wouldn’t budge.” She let out a sigh when she allowed herself to really think about that time. “In retrospect, Nina had every right to get on my case about Charlie. She was twenty years old, staying over at different guy’s apartments, and was earning four times more than I was. But I wouldn’t let Nina move in because I didn’t want Charlie to be uncomfortable.”
“Would she have been?” Haley asked, a fair eyebrow rising.
“Don’t know. I never asked her.”
“Ooh… I hope you’ve changed, Piper, because I wouldn’t be happy with that. Giving up things you want based on a guess about what would make your sister happy is pretty…” She shook her head slowly. “Let’s just say, that wouldn’t go over well with me.”
“I wouldn’t even try that with you. And I wouldn’t have done it then,” she admitted, “but I wasn’t ready to make that kind of commitment with Nina. Full disclosure, I think I used Charlie as an excuse. Not consciously, but still.”
Haley’s penetrating gaze never faltered. “That wouldn’t go over big, either. I want a partner who tells me the truth, even when she knows I won’t like it.”
Piper sat up tall and looked Haley in the eye. “I think I’m better at that now. I know I haven’t proven it, but I want to be in a relationship where we talk about difficult things. God knows, enough of them come up in a partnership.”
“I learned that from my parents,” Haley said. “When I’d hear them fighting, I’d ask my mom what was going on. I’m not sure she wanted to tell me, but I was persistent,” she said, smirking. “But I learned that they had to work through things. My fantasy of having a perfect relationship was just that—a fantasy.”
“I didn’t have that,” Piper admitted. “By the time Charlie was a year old, my mom and Frank were fighting all the time. Well, I call it fighting, but it was more her yelling at him and him ignoring her. They weren’t great role models.”
“You can learn,” Haley said, leaning her head on Piper’s shoulder. “We’ll just hang in there and learn to trust each other. Once we’re sure it’s safe to talk about tough things, we’ll just do it, right?”
“Yeah,” she said, thinking that sounded so logical, it was surprising she hadn’t done it before. “I’m sure I won’t be good at this at first, but we’ll work on it.”
“That’s all I need, Piper,” she said, caressing her cheek with her fingertips. “Work with me to be open, and honest, and vulnerable.”
“I promise I’ll do my best,” Piper said, closing her eyes as waves of sensation rolled down her back from Haley’s gentle touch. “I like that,” she purred.
“You’re more cat than human,” Haley teased. “All I have to do is touch you gently, and you’re boneless. But I like that,” she added. “The last woman I was with just wanted to get down to business. Foreplay for her was taking off her clothes.”
“Mmm,” Piper murmured. She forced her eyes open and said, “The woman who moved up north? To Seattle or someplace?”
“No,” Haley said, looking a little cagey, “that was Kim. This was…someone else.”
Piper took Haley’s hand to stop the distraction. She smiled, mostly to make it clear this was a lighthearted question. “I have a feeling you have a longer, more interesting sexual history than I do. Want to tell me about it?”
“Do you really want to know?” Haley asked, looking very wary. “In my experience, no good can come of this.”
Piper sat up tall and gazed at Haley for a few seconds. “I was kidding, but now I think I want to know. If you’ve been with a few hundred people…”
“What if I have?” Haley’s expression was completely blank, not even letting Piper guess what she was thinking.
“Um…” She sat back against the sectional and took a few sips of her wine, really thinking this through. When you were just getting to know someone, every conversation had landmines in it. That was clearly part of the fun, but you could easily step on one and hurt yourself badly. “I guess that would be okay…” She stopped when she realized she was lying. “No, that wouldn’t be okay, unless you’d just gone through a phase that you’re out of now.”
“Because…?”
“Because I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t attach some emotional meaning to sex. Damn, Haley, if you’d started when you were sixteen and had two hundred under your belt, that’s like…” She tried to do the math, then shrugged. “Huh. That’s like one a month. That’s a lot fewer than I thought.”
“So, one a month wouldn’t make me damaged goods? What would?”
“Damaged goods?” Stunned, she grasped Haley by the shoulders and stared at her, with her mind trying to catch up to her racing heart. “I don’t think that at all! I just want to make sure you’re able to connect to me, and I worry you wouldn’t be able to if you treat sex like shaking hands. That would worry me.”
“But why? This is important, Piper. Think about it.”
“I guess because it means a lot to me. If you don’t feel the same way, I’d be worried that we’d have a disconnect there.”
“But why? Maybe I have a higher sex drive. Maybe I had more opportunities. How does that impact us now?” She shifted until they were face to face. “I want a monogamous relationship with you, Piper. I’ve successfully been with one person, and that’s the only part of my sexual history you should care about.” Haley didn’t seem angry, exactly. But she clearly had a point she wasn’t afraid to make. For just a second, Piper mused that being with someone who never challenged her hadn’t been so bad after all, but that truly only lasted for a moment. This was what she wanted. A person who had strong opinions and wasn’t afraid to defend them.
“You’re right,” she said. “You’re a hundred percent right. I guess…” She tried hard to take down her defensive barriers to let the truth of her reaction out. “It really is important that we attach kind of the same meaning to sex. If we have that, the numbers are bullshit. You’re right, and I promise I won’t ever bring them up again.”
Haley’s entire demeanor changed as a smile bloomed on her lovely face. She leaned close again, and reached up to gently stroke the back of Piper’s neck. “You’re right, too. We need to feel the same about sex. Tell me what it means to you.”
Piper grasped her hand so she could concentrate, holding it in her lap. “I’m not sure how to put this in words, but I only have sex with people I’m sure I want to be in
a relationship with. None of them have worked out long term, but I felt they all could have. All signs have to point to ‘go’ before I’ll be intimate with someone.”
“That’s not meaning,” Haley said, shaking her head a few times. “Those are rules.”
“Meaning’s harder,” Piper complained, but she gave it another try. “I think it’s kind of scary to have sex with someone. It’s embarrassing, if nothing else. You’re naked, you make weird faces, you make funny sounds. I can only do it if I’m sure my partner will be vulnerable.”
“What does that mean?”
Piper nearly rolled her eyes, feeling like Haley was trying to get into her head with a crowbar, but this little bout of torture was obviously going to continue until she made herself clear. “Okay. How’s this? I want to make sure my partner’s taking sex seriously, since I am. I’m trying to show her something important about myself, and I want to make sure she’s as invested as I am.” Nodding decisively, she said, “That’s it. I want to make sure I’m not exposing my heart if she’s not doing the same.”
A luminous smile made the tiny dimples in Haley’s cheeks appear, then she leaned over to nuzzle against Piper’s neck for a minute. “That’s such a nice thing to hear. I feel exactly the same. I want to show you what’s in my heart, Piper. Such a simple wish, but it can be hard to do.”
“Yeah, it can,” she said, placing a gentle kiss on Haley’s cheek as she started to sit up. “But it’s worth it, isn’t it?”
“It really is.” She held Piper’s hand in hers, then brought it to her lips to place several soft kisses to it. “So, when you say you’ve had three serious girlfriends, does that mean you’ve only had three sex partners?”
“Four,” Piper said, sure of the number. “I had sex with a girl in high school just because she was willing, then I found out she was kind of a jerk. That made me rethink my rules.”
“They sound like good ones,” Haley said, once again moving her hand to tuck her arm around Piper and pull her close for a kiss. As they broke apart, she said, “I’m not that strict, but I’m not far from there. I usually don’t have sex with someone who doesn’t have potential for a long term thing, but I’ll admit my standards have gotten a little shaky when it’s been a long time.” She pulled Piper around so they were face to face, then she kissed her, holding on tightly while her tongue slid into Piper’s mouth and teased her for a long time. Piper was almost panting when Haley released her, getting chills all over when Haley’s warm tongue licked her ear. “I really like sex,” she whispered.
“Oh, so do I,” Piper sighed. “But I’ve had some very long dry spells.”
“Maybe you’ve just passed through your last desert,” Haley murmured. “Wouldn’t that be nice?”
“The nicest,” Piper said, closing her eyes as she imagined the two of them, settled into her home, probably with full custody of a cute little white dog.
“My number isn’t much higher than yours,” Haley said, pulling Piper from her daydream. “I’m only skittish about exchanging details because one of my exes harped on the fact that I’d slept with two more people than she had. Two!” She started to laugh, dropping her hand to tickle Piper’s ribs. “Next time I tell you to be careful of what you ask, will you listen?”
“Probably not,” she said, giggling and squirming as she tried to get away, “but I won’t be able to say I hadn’t been warned.”
***
When Piper got up to get more wine, she opened the cabinet next to the sink and stared inside for a few seconds. “I’ve got almost nothing, but I could make you some pasta. You’ve got to be hungry,” she added.
“Not very,” Haley said. “I had lunch late today. I was starving, and I went to a nearby place that has a salad bar where you pay by the pound. Found myself handing over twelve bucks!”
“I could do that easily,” Piper said, carrying the wine bottle back with her. “Especially if they have stuff I like. Potato salad’s heavy.”
Haley waited until she was sitting next to her to lean over and whisper, “Potato salad isn’t really a salad. I was talking about vegetables. I emptied my wallet buying red peppers, broccoli, and artichoke hearts.”
“I could get by with six cents worth of that,” Piper joked. “It’s becoming clear we don’t like the same foods.”
“Yeah, we do. I just don’t eat most of them six days a week. You’re able to take my ‘fuck it’ day and make it your normal diet. I’ve got to keep an eye on things.”
Piper slowly and teasingly grasped the hem of her blouse and started to lift it. When she’d exposed Haley’s belly, she leaned over and blew a raspberry on it. “That’s because you’re trying to show off this flat belly,” she said. “Which you have every right to do. I’d like to see you in a bikini,” she said thoughtfully, her gaze losing its focus. “Yeah,” she added quietly, “I’d really like to see that.”
“We’ll go to the beach when I get back. How’s that?”
Piper was still leaning over, and when she tilted her head to meet Haley’s eyes, her expression was filled with impish charm. “We can go swimming right in the back yard. Then I can see how hot you look and not have to drive all the way home to give it to you good.”
“Give it to me good,” Haley said, finding Piper’s playful bravado awfully cute. “You sound like…I don’t even know who you sound like.” She grasped Piper’s ear gently and tugged on it. “Come up here and give me a good kiss. You’ve already proven your skills there.”
Piper rose, but she placed her hand on Haley’s belly and left it there, letting her fingers wander across bare skin as her lips took up the challenge.
“Perfect,” Haley breathed when Piper pulled away. “Your lips are so addictive.” With a finger, she traced their curves. “I honestly thought about you all day. Mostly about these,” she added. “They’re deadly.”
In the blink of an eye, Piper’s arms were around her, holding her tenderly. “I thought about you, too,” she said quietly. “I kept thinking about how much fun it is when you’re just getting to know someone you’re sure is filled with potential.”
“I’m sure about you, too,” Haley said, forcing herself to say, rather than just think the words. “I know I was harsh on Sunday morning, but I’ve let that go, Piper. I really have.”
“Is that…usually hard to do?” she asked, head cocked.
“I’m more cautious than I should be,” Haley admitted. “Even though it’s been years, I’ve still got scars from Alicia hurting me. It’s not hard to make me feel like those scars are still fresh. When that happens…” She looked into Piper’s empathetic eyes and said, “Sometimes I don’t give women enough chances. I turn tail and run after one big mistake.” Her hand went to Piper’s cheek, and she caressed it until she closed her eyes and leaned into the pressure. “That’s not a good trait, so I’ve been trying hard to stop that. I’m doing my best to assume you’re honest and true and loyal and all of the other good traits I want in a girlfriend.
“I am,” Piper said, eyes wide.
“And if you’re not, I’ll be hurt again, but that’s just life.” She closed her eyes for a second, quietly adding, “I’m finished with making a woman prove herself before I trust her. I’ve got a really good feeling about you, Piper. I think you’re a good person.”
“I’ve got my faults, but I’m not a user.”
“I’m not, either. I just hope you’re patient with me while I try to stop my knee-jerk reactions to things that seem like they might hurt me. Are you patient?” she asked, looking into those clear blue eyes that could sometimes appear as warm as a tender hug.
“Isn’t the fact that I’ve let an hour go by without taking your clothes off enough evidence of that?” She snuck that warm hand under Haley’s blouse again, letting it roam as her grin grew.
“You should be rewarded for your patience,” Haley said as she rested her arms atop Piper’s shoulders and gazed into her eyes. “Wanna take another tour of your apartment? I’d like to tak
e another peek at that bedroom of yours.”
Piper was standing before Haley had finished the sentence, looking down expectantly. “You’ve got the best ideas,” she said, her grin devastatingly attractive.
Just to see those strong arms in action, Haley extended her hands. “How about a lift?”
Grasping her by the elbows, Piper effortlessly lifted Haley to her feet, then caught her by the hips and held her still as their mouths met. It obviously didn’t take long for Piper to get into the mood, wrapping her arms around Haley so firmly that she felt like she was in a cocoon. A cocoon of warmth that suffused her senses with Piper’s clean scent and the power of her sturdy body.
“I could melt into a puddle,” Haley murmured. “On my checklist of sexy traits, you hit them all.”
“Really good to know. If you think of any I don’t know, tell me, and I’ll figure out a way to get them.”
“You think you already know what’s on my current list?”
“I kind of do,” she said, showing a cocky grin. “And the fact that I do, is on that list.”
“Wish I could argue,” Haley said, “but you’ve got me dead to rights.”
Piper released her snug hold to take Haley’s hand, leading her to the bedroom. This room also had a number of large candles, and Piper moved around the space, lighting each. “You looked so pretty in the candlelight the other night that I can’t resist,” she said.
But when Piper turned off the overhead lamp, she was the one whose skin took on a warm, golden hue in the flattering light. “You’re so pretty,” Haley breathed, taking her in. “I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.”
Piper’s arms encircled her again, with an indulgent smirk covering her face. “I love how you make it sound like I’m some knockout. That’s really cute.”
“You are,” Haley said, gazing up into her eyes. “Your face, your body… All perfect. I’ve never been with a woman I’m more attracted to, Piper. That’s the simple truth.”
Piper dipped her head and placed a gentle, lingering kiss to Haley’s lips. “I feel the same,” she whispered. “Exactly the same.”
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