Ruining Me

by Nicole Reed

  “I’ve worked with him a couple of times and he seems super nice. He just moved to town to work for his family. It seems his brother owns a construction company and he has a daytime job with him, but with the economy being what it is, he supplements his income with bartending on the side. He’s twenty-three and never been married and no kids. Seems he is from somewhere in the Midwest originally and get this, he’s currently single,” she sings single. I started to say how he just didn’t sound like my type, considering his age, when the door opened behind the bar.

  When he walked through the doors he looked up and smiled at Jill and just said, “Hi.” I knew instantly who he was. Jill had described him perfectly. He glanced around and finally noticed me. We stare at each other for a split second and then he grins and nods his head toward me and turns away asking Jill something about his work shifts.

  Now I know most guys consider me good looking. I admit that I never lacked for attention in school, but to be honest I never understood what guys saw in me. I didn’t have the beautiful hair or curvy body like Molly does. My eyes aren’t a vibrant blue, but more of a dull gray. I’m not saying that I’m not cute. I just don’t consider myself gorgeous. However, in this moment I wanted him to notice me. Lust almost doubled me over, but there was something else too. Something I would have sworn that also passed through his eyes a moment ago.

  My eyes took him all in with his black shaved head and shiny emerald eyes. He has a strong nose and nice full lips. His tight black t-shirt hugs his huge biceps and he has black swirls that go down his left arm while on his right there was a total tattoo sleeve. He has some black writing on the side of his neck that I couldn’t read yet. Blue jeans mold his behind and Jill totally got that part right. I can see why he was making good tips now.

  I finally allowed my eyes to travel back up to his face and oh my goodness, he is smiling at me and wouldn’t you know he has not one, but two dimples. He turns completely from Jill towards me.

  “Like what you see, Sweetheart?” His voice sounded hoarse and super sexy.

  It takes a moment for my brain to catch up and when it did for some reason what he said pissed me off. What a conceited jackass which is a total turn off for me. I should have known with his looks he couldn’t possibly have a good personality too.

  “Not anymore, Sweetie,” I reply snidely back. I took a swig of my drink and look back toward Jill. He burst out laughing and takes a step toward me to lean on the bar directly across from me.

  “Okay, that was fair. Can I say that I like what I see?” His voice pulled at something deep down in me. I know his type and all they want is for girls to pet their oversized egos and other things that were lower. I so wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

  “That depends. What is it that you see?” I gave him my evil smile.

  “Now that could be the trickiest question a woman has ever asked me. So I guess I will stick with the truth and say that I see a dark haired beauty with eyes the color of a stormy sea sitting in front of me.” My heart melted for just a second until he continued to speak, “or I could be honest with us both and tell you how a minute ago I saw those same stormy eyes devouring me from head to toe.”

  I couldn’t control my next words that flew out of my mouth. “What a conceited ass. I like eye candy as much as the next girl, but you soon learn the truth about candy.” He laughs louder that time.

  “What that it melts in your mouth and not in your hand?” Damn it, that sexy smile and voice is getting to me.

  “You wish,” I reply and laugh. I can’t believe he just said that and shake my head no.

  “I have to fucking ask then just what is the truth about candy?”

  I lean in closer to him like I am going to whisper my answer and he leans in. Our mouths are only inches away from each other and his gaze breaks from mine drifting down to my mouth. I intentionally lick my lips and answer him. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  His eyes return to mine and we stare at each other. He finally blinks and grins at me.

  “That was so lame. I mean really, that’s all you got?”

  I shrug my shoulders and glance back to Jill. Her eyes have been volleying back and forth between us during our conversation. She finally laughs and nudges his shoulder.

  “I guess I’ll do the introductions. Kane this is my friend Jay. Jay this is the new bartender Kane. Both of you need to play nice while I go back and get the schedule worked out.”

  I look down at my Sprite and realize it’s gone.

  “Can I get you a refill?”

  “No thanks, I’m good,” I answer. I try looking everywhere, but at him. I can feel his eyes on me and it’s driving me crazy.

  “Would you like to go out sometime?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “What? You afraid of going cross eyed from staring at me all night.” I shoot him my mean look. He laughs again. “I’m just kidding. Really I would like to take you out. Don’t make me beg.” He tilts his head and waits for my answer.

  “I don’t think I’m your type.”

  “Ok, this is going to be good. Go ahead and tell me what my type is.”

  He’s still grinning at me. “I would bet that your last two girlfriends were blond and big breasted.” His eye brows go up in question.

  “You got something against blond and big breasted? And good guess, but I’m not confirming or denying it.” He leans back to stand up. He looks me up and down this time. “However, I’m finding out all of the sudden though that I like them dark haired and sassy.”

  My heart rate suddenly spikes and I wonder if he can hear the loud thumping. Any other guy with his looks and I would be trying to take him home for the night. Conceited ass or not, but something in me tells me Kane is different. One night wouldn’t be enough for either of us. Where did that thought come from? I need to get out of here.

  “Um, can you please tell Jill I had to run,” I say as I stand and grab my bag. I take a five dollar bill out of my purse and lay it on the bar. Geez, my freaking hand was shaking. Glancing one more time into his eyes I notice he looks confused. I gather not many girls brush him off.

  “Hey, don’t leave. I’m not actually working tonight and was just going to hang out and play some pool. Why don’t you stay a little while longer and you can tell me all about my type and I can find out the truth about candy?”

  His question really throws me off. I look at him and he still has that look on his face like he’s trying to figure me out.

  “Sorry I’ve got places to be. Nice meeting you,” I say and turn to flee out of the bar. My escape would have been okay if I had seen the stool that was standing in front of me, however, I trip over the bottom rung and the seat catches me mid stomach. My breath whooshes out and I fall to my knees. I think he actually jumped over the bar to get to me.

  “Are you okay?” He asked as he leans down and places his arm on my back. His touch makes my breathing much more shallow and I glance into his face when I hear the quick intake of his. My eyes go to his plump bottom lip just inches from mine. Staring at them as they move. He is asking again if I am okay. Holy shit, am I okay? I shake my head no at first, but then I remember to answer him.

  “Yes.” It was a whisper, but I know he heard me. His eyes flew to my lips and I couldn’t help pulling in my bottom lip and sucking on it. I’m pretty sure he groaned. The sound startles me and I jump up. It breaks his touch from mine. His eyes look dazed and confused and I jumped at my chance to start walking away, thanking God he didn’t follow.

  My thoughts were scattered all the way home. I had never felt that pull with anyone else. Not even with JT. Just the thought of him made my cheeks flush. Dear Jesus, he was hot as Hades. He has the longest black eye lashes that go with those pretty eyes. Since JT, I really don’t do relationships. Well other than Rhye, but that was totally different.

  Most people at school think that I have become a slut, but I’m not. I’m very selective which is why I have Jill helping me. Plus it
is not every night and not even close to every month. It’s just when I have that need and to clarify it’s not a need to have sex. It’s more of a need to have control. To control who I give my body to. I subscribe to the whole love them and leave them philosophy. That’s more my style and I really do not like these feelings I am having about Kane. It already feels like more and I’ve only known him for about five seconds. I want to stop thinking about the stupid conceited jackass.

  My phone was buzzing when I pulled into my drive way signaling that I had a text. I quickly noticed that it was from Jill.

  Jill - He wants your #. BAD. Do you want me to give it to him? He’s asking 20 million ?’s. Not sure what you want me to say.

  I decide to ignore her, because my mind is spinning and my day just keeps getting better because as I open my car door a black 4x4 truck pulls in behind me. Cal practically jumps out before his truck even comes to a complete stop.

  “Jay, I’m really sorry about today. I left football practice early because I was worried you were mad at me. I shouldn’t have said what I did.” Cal looked upset and he kept talking as he walked right up to me. “I know whatever shit made you like you are, is none of my business. I’ve just been really worried about you and I can’t explain it, but I wanted to come and talk to you tonight.”

  He actually looked sick. What is it about this guy that I couldn’t stay mad at him?

  “Listen Cal, we are good.” I put my hands up because he looked like he was going to hug me. “But for the future, stay out of my business and we’ll be fine”. I look toward my dark empty house and realize that I didn’t want to be alone right now. “Want to come in and have dinner with me?” Cal’s face lights up.

  “Have I ever turned you down when you offered me food? I would even eat that nasty cafeteria spaghetti in fourth grade because I didn’t want you to get in trouble for not eating your lunch.”

  “I never knew that. I thought you either really loved that stuff or you were starving.”

  “No way Jay, that shit was nasty. I would only eat it for you,” he says and grins at me, I can’t help but smile back.

  Chapter 2

  The sun was starting to set as Cal and I walked into the house and straight through to the kitchen. My parents and I live in an upper middle class neighborhood. It wasn’t gated, but it was a golf community. Our house is a two story monstrosity that over looks a golf-hole and large pond with the kitchen looking like it is straight out of a high end restaurant. Not that I ever cook anything. We have a lady comes in twice a week to clean and she usually cooks and freezes dinners for the week. I set my iPhone in the dock and turn on some music while I pull out a pan of lasagna to unthaw in the microwave. The acoustic version of Scream by Chris Cornell fills the quiet. Cal stood behind me.

  “What can I do to help you with dinner, Jay?”

  “Thanks Cal, but I’ve got it. Just have a seat on one of the bar stools.” He plopped down on a seat.

  “So, where did you go after school,” Cal asked? Ignoring him at first, I grabbed the lettuce and salad dressing from the fridge and laid them on the counter. Finally looking at him I wanted to tell him that it was none of his business, but I was tired of being snappy to him. I’ve had my limit today.

  “Well, I’ve gotten to be friends with one of the bartenders at O’Malley’s so I went to talk with her.”

  Cal looked at me and said, “I had heard that you were hanging out there a lot.”

  “Yeah, you and everyone else,” I snapped. He seemed hurt by my attitude. Saved by the bell of the microwave I took the lasagna out. I figured we would just eat at the counter and handed Cal a plate and silverware.

  “Soda okay?” I ask and grab a can from the refrigerator.

  “Actually do you have any milk?”

  “Sure,” I reply and pour him a glass. We both eat pretty much in silence for a while. Even though I had wanted company, I kept thinking about Kane.

  “Penny for your thoughts,” Cal said.

  I’m not sure why, but all the sudden I begin talking about meeting Kane.

  “So was it love at first sight?” Cal’s question throws me off.

  “I don’t know that I believe in that, however, I do believe in lust at first sight. I would definitely say there was some serious lusting going on,” I say laughingly.

  Cal must have choked on his food when I said that. After a couple of minutes of coughing he finally looks at me and said, “Not sure what to say to that Jay.” His face was flushed and he took a large drink of his milk.

  When I look up at him I notice he has a milk mustache. I caught his eye between bites of food and winked saying, “Milk does a body good, huh.” His expression was priceless and his face turned beet red. Geez, does he think I’m hitting on him? I laugh.

  “Cal, you have a milk mustache.” He grabs his napkin and wipes his mouth while he laughs for a second.

  “For a moment there I thought I was going to have to fight you off girl. I didn’t know if all this lust talk was getting to you.” We smile at each other and continue eating. “Not that I would fight you off you know.” He wagged his eyebrows at me and we both laugh.

  When we finished, I begin putting the food away and finally Cal spoke again.

  “So, were good huh?” He stood and grabbed our plates to put them in the dishwasher. Leaning against the counter he crosses his arms and looks at me.

  The overhead light shines on his surfer blond hair and his face still has that baby look to it. I moved to stand across from him as he clears his throat.

  “I just want to say one more thing before I leave. You know that a lot of people miss you. Miss seeing that smiling face every morning and not just students. I know that several of the football coaches even have mentioned they missed seeing you on the sidelines. During football season, even when we lost a game, you kept everyone’s spirits up. You were there all the way up until our junior year. I never played one football game, even little league, that you weren’t on the sidelines. Hell, even Coach Branch last year told us all to keep an eye on you. You just don’t know,” Cal stops talking as I glare at him.

  “What do you mean Coach Branch told you to keep an eye on me?”

  Cal looked at me and continued, “He just asked the linemen to keep an eye on you last year. He said he noticed that you were having a hard time. You know how he cares about his students. Coach B and his wife had twins this summer and he still took his own time to help us seniors get ready for the college scouts. He just cares what happens to all of us. There are guys on the football and baseball team that wouldn’t be going to college if it weren’t for him helping them to get scholarships.”

  “Well, that is nice, but I don’t need anyone looking out for me. Please make sure you tell all of the guys that I said that,” I replied heavy with sarcasm. “Look Cal, it’s getting late. I’m okay, really. I just don’t need everyone up in my business.” I smile and start to walk out of the kitchen to the front door letting him silently know that this conversation and dinner were over.

  Cal stops as he walks out through the front door and turns back around. “I’m always going to be here. Just know that okay? Thanks for dinner.” He leans in and kisses my cheek and turns to leave.

  Closing the door as he leaves I hear my phone vibrating. It had done that all through dinner and since it had been a long day I decide to continue to ignore my messages. I turn the house alarm on and walk upstairs. It was still pretty early, but I showered and then fell asleep on my bed.

  Opening my eyes I glance around me. I was sitting in a room with four walls and no doors. All the walls were white and scratched to hell. White metal chairs lined the walls and in all the chairs sat women of different ages, sizes and color. We all had on white hospital gowns and our protruding bellies were grotesquely round. Almost as if we swallowed a basketball. The women all had empty black sockets where their eyes should be. Their lips were sewn shut with what looked like twine.

  I heard a metal chair screech as someo
ne plopped down next to me. Knowing who I would see as I turn my head, I look at him. He is always so beautiful. Wavy black ink hair and the darkest eyes I have ever seen with thick black lashes. He has high cheekbones and a square jaw. His body is trim and he is dressed to the nines in what I would guess is an Armani suit. He’s always bare foot, but even his feet are beautiful.

  Smiling at me he props his arm across the back of my seat and his voice, when he spoke, is deep, “Yea, they sacrificed their sons and daughter unto devils, And shed innocent blood, even the blood of their sons and of their daughters, whom they sacrificed unto the idols of Canann; and the land was polluted with blood. Thus were they defiled with their own works, and went a whoring with their own inventions. Pretty much sums it up doesn’t it Babe?” I stare back at him.