She flinched, hurt, startled by his angry tone.
“Wait, Nev, honey—”
Before he could reach out and grab her hand and apologize, she sobbed and ran from the room.
He closed his eyes and swore. She deserved better than him. She deserved someone who had his shit together.
She deserved Tyler.
Chapter Sixteen
Thomas wanted space, he got it. Nevvie left for the office early the next morning, leaving Tyler at home with him and not returning until nearly dark. Tyler’s quiet, hurt looks all day tore at his heart, but what could he say to him?
Wednesday morning, Nevvie was already gone when Thomas got up. Tyler heard him and came in to help.
“Where’s Nev?” Thomas asked.
“Does it matter? Do you really care?” Tyler quietly asked, carefully helping him limp to the bathroom. “It’s not like you’ve taken a great interest in her in the past several weeks. There’s only so much she can take, love. She needs a break until you’re ready to let her back in. Getting rejected by you hurts her. She’s about ready to stop trying, I think.”
Thomas bit back a reply. Nothing he said to Tyler would be right or even fair and he damn well knew it.
Later, he sat at the kitchen table and watched Tyler feed Adam. He loved the little guy. Adam kept reaching for him, stretching and kicking and fussing until Tyler slid the high chair closer to Thomas.
He smiled, trying not to cry. This little guy loved him, would see him as his daddy as much as Tyler, no matter what the birth certificate said.
“He’s missed you, too,” Tyler said. “We all have.”
Thomas glared at Ty. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, if you haven’t noticed. I can’t with my leg fucked up anyway.”
“You don’t have to be gone to be absent,” he replied. Tyler glanced at the clock. “Can you sit with him while I go shower? Help him with his breakfast?”
Thomas nodded. Tyler left the room.
Adam gazed at him with those big blue eyes. Tyler’s big blue eyes, the same eyes he fell in love with so many years ago.
He knew it wasn’t fair to treat them like this. He hated himself for it. He also didn’t know how to find his way back to them. Tyler wasn’t stupid. Tyler had to know Adam was his biological child. The baby looked just like him, for chrissake. Yet he’d never staked a claim. When Tyler talked, he always referred to Adam as “our” son, not his.
Just like he called Nevvie “our” wife.
Another bolt of white-hot guilt shot through him. Nevvie and Tyler loved him. How long would they wait for him to get his fucking head on straight?
When the doorbell rang, Tom’s heart took off at a runaway pace.
Shit. “Come in!”
Jennifer walked in. “Oh, you’re babysitting today?”
His heart pounded, but now he wasn’t sure if it was eagerness or self-loathing.
The bedroom door opened down the hall, Ty’s voice calling to them. “Are you all right, Thomas?”
“We’re fine. It’s just Jennifer.”
“All right. I’ll be finished in a moment.” The door shut again. Tom’s stomach knotted as he realized what he’d been doing.
No, that wasn’t right. He knew damn well what he’d been doing, just not why he’d been doing it. And he needed to rectify it. Today.
He would set the record straight today, apologize for flirting.
He had to.
Jennifer reached out and tickled the baby’s chin. “He’s such a cutie pie. I cannot get over those eyes. Just like his father.”
Her words burned inside him. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Just like his old man.”
“Do you need help getting out to the living room? I can sit here with him.”
He handed her a damp towel. “If you could just wipe him off and bring him, he’ll be okay crawling around on the floor for a minute until Ty’s done.”
“Okay.”
He watched her with his son, knowing in his heart Nevvie would kill him if she knew what he was thinking, what he’d been doing. When Jennifer picked Adam up, part of him wanted to tell her to put his son down.
But he wasn’t his son. Not really. He was Tyler’s.
He turned and carefully limped out to the living room on his crutches.
Tyler appeared a few moments later. “Ah, I see you’ve got our little chub taken care of. Did he give you any trouble?”
Thomas knew Tyler’s comments were directed at Jennifer, but he quickly answered.
“None at all, Tyler.”
Jennifer scooped the baby up and handed him to Tyler. “He’s a cutie, Mr. Paulson.”
Tyler cast a loving look at Thomas. “We think so. We’ve been very blessed, haven’t we, Thomas?”
Thomas silently groaned as he nodded his agreement, hating himself. Tyler still wasn’t laying sole claim to Adam, but Jennifer wouldn’t understand his comment.
“Well, I shall leave the two of you alone. Call me if you need me.” To Tommy’s immense relief, Tyler took Adam into his study and closed the door behind him.
Jennifer smiled. “Happy to see me?”
“Yeah.” He hated himself. “Real happy.”
* * * *
Near the end of their appointment, his leg cramped up. She stopped the exercises and started massaging it for him. About that time, Nevvie walked in the front door, carrying take-out sacks from a fast food restaurant.
“I brought lunch, Tommy,” she announced in a neutral tone as she put them on the kitchen counter, then disappeared into Tyler’s study and closed the door behind her.
“Thank you, Nevvie,” he called after her. His heart quickened, then he turned back to Jennifer.
He should tell her, tell her right now.
She smiled. “Better? Or…” She paused, her hand hesitating on his inner thigh. “Is there anywhere else you need massaged?” Her eyes bored into his. He’d picked up the pace of his flirting over the past few appointments, the adrenaline rush he got from each visit carrying him through to the next.
He stared at her, trying to force out a declaration of the truth but instead said, “What did you have in mind?”
“I could get into a lot of trouble,” she whispered. “I’m not supposed to get involved with clients.”
Thomas thought his heart would race out of his chest. “Who said I’m telling, sugar?” Fuck! It was like someone else controlled his goddamn mind. Maybe he could claim brain damage?
She leaned in closer as her hand traveled north up his thigh. “I really look forward to our sessions.”
“Me too.”
He froze when Nevvie opened the study door. She carried Adam on her hip and walked to the kitchen without a look his way. He couldn’t blame her, but now part of him prayed she would turn around. If she looked through the counter, she would see what was going on.
She would stop it. Stop him. Apparently he didn’t have the power to stop himself.
Nevvie turned away from the living room and settled Adam in his high chair.
His eyes returned to Jennifer. She didn’t think anything of it. Why the hell would she? He had led her to believe Nevvie was Tyler’s wife, not his.
Not theirs.
And that Tyler, the man he considered his soul mate—the man he’d been lovers with for most of Jennifer’s life—was just his friend. And that he was only staying there while he healed.
He felt helpless to stop her when she leaned in to kiss him. As her lips brushed his, he heard Tyler’s shocked voice.
“Bloody hell!”
Jennifer jumped. Tyler, his jaw gaping, stood in the living room doorway.
Startled, Nevvie turned and looked at Tyler, then followed his line of sight to the living room.
Thomas reddened.
Nevvie recovered her voice first although the calm, even tone of it scared the crap out of Thomas. “What the hell is going on?”
Jennifer sat back, embarrassed and jumping to the wrong conclusion. “I�
��m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
Tyler finally spoke. “You’re kissing our husband and you don’t think that’s going to offend us?”
Jennifer blinked in total confusion. “Your husband?” She looked at Thomas, to Tyler, then to Nevvie. “But you’re married to Mr. Paulson.”
“My name’s Nevaeh Kinsey-Paulson for a reason.” She pointed at Thomas. “He’s my husband, too. We’re polyamorous. He and Tyler were together for over ten years when they met me. They’re bisexual, honey.”
Jennifer stared, shocked. Tyler stood silent in the doorway. Jennifer looked at Thomas and backed away. “I thought you said they were married.”
“I know. I’m sorry, baby girl.”
Nevvie gasped. Her jaw dropped, like she was going to say something, then snapped closed again.
Jennifer jumped up, muttered apologies, and quickly gathered her things.
Tyler turned, silently stalked down the hall to their bedroom and slammed the door behind him.
Tyler never slammed doors. In their eighteen years together, Thomas could never remember Tyler slamming a door. He could count on one hand the times he’d heard Tyler raise his voice in anger, one of those times being just now.
Jennifer hurried from the house. They heard her car pull out of the driveway.
Thomas forced himself to look at Nevvie. He knew that look well—Nevvie was too upset to speak. She clamped her lips together and turned from him, her back stiff. She picked up the baby. When Thomas called out to her, she raised her hand without even looking at him.
He heard their bedroom door open and close. She didn’t slam it with the baby in her arms.
She was the door slammer. The fact that Tyler had slammed the door and Nevvie didn’t, even with the baby in her arms, told him more than any words ever could.
Ten minutes later the bedroom door opened again. He heard Tyler’s desperate, low pleas, then heard Nevvie walk to the nursery. She appeared a few minutes later with Adam and breezed past him without a glance his way, the diaper bag and—was that an overnight bag?—on her shoulder. He tried to call out to her and she completely ignored him as she rushed out the front door.
Tyler didn’t appear.
Thomas hated himself. Now I’ve done it. The two people who really love me and give a damn and that’s what I do to them. I don’t fucking deserve them.
He carefully made his way onto the couch and took a moment to catch his breath. It hurt, but it wasn’t as bad as a few weeks ago. He was healing.
He grabbed his crutches. While he’d intended to go all the way to the bedroom to talk to Ty, he only made it as far as the kitchen and sat at the table. The food, now cold, still sat on the counter in the bags.
She’d come home to talk, probably, because she wouldn’t have driven all the way home just to bring lunch. And he’d acted like an ass.
Dammit, would she ever forgive him? Would either of them forgive him? Tyler had looked as hurt as Nevvie.
He’d started to get up when he heard the bedroom door open again. Tyler had changed clothes and carried his keys. When he walked by the kitchen, he didn’t look at Thomas.
“Ty!”
Tyler stopped, frozen, but didn’t turn. “Yes?” he quietly asked.
“I’m sorry.”
After a long moment, Tyler finally nodded, still not turning. “I’ll tell her you said that, if I find her.” Still the same soft, hurt tone. “She wouldn’t tell me where she was going.”
* * * *
Nevvie cried. Fuck, it’s not like she caught him with his dick in the girl’s mouth, but now she felt like a fucking moron. All these weeks, looking back, the pattern was crystal clear. Tommy pushing her—them—away, then all happy and shit after an appointment that should make him hurt like hell.
Fuck.
Not sleeping in bed with them despite their repeated requests, opting for the guest room. Why would he want to sleep with them when his mind was on Jennifer? She hadn’t seen the kiss—Tyler told her what she’d missed—but she’d heard.
Nevvie drove to the office, knowing she had maybe a twenty minute head start. Tyler would look for her there first. She ignored his calls, sending them straight to voice mail. She unbuckled the baby and raced inside to get her laptop and some files. She’d go to a hotel for the day, calm down, and then go home tomorrow to talk. She knew she couldn’t talk to Thomas like this. She was too angry, would say something she’d regret.
Would want to kick his bad leg or smack him upside the skull. Maybe rip his tongue out of his head and shove it up his ass so he could lick his balls from the inside out.
When she was this mad, she knew she needed to calm down. It wouldn’t do anyone any good for her to confront him feeling like this. She had to get her emotions under control first, get rational again.
Maggie tried to waylay her but Nevvie had her follow and carry Adam while she gathered her things.
“What’s up, Nevvie?”
She couldn’t face her friend. “Long story, I’ll tell you later. But if Tyler or Thomas—especially Thomas—calls looking for me, you didn’t see me.”
“What?”
Nevvie shook her head, fighting her tears. If she started crying she wouldn’t stop. “Please,” she pleaded. “It’ll take too long to explain.”
Confused, Maggie nodded. “Okay.”
“Thank you. I’ll call you tomorrow to check in and see if there’s anything I need to take care of.” Maggie followed her to the car. Nevvie loaded the stuff in the trunk, then took Adam. “Thank you.”
Nevvie quickly buckled him in and drove off.
Her phone rang fifteen minutes later, Tyler’s cell, and she let it go to voice mail. By that time she was already on the interstate heading…she didn’t know where. West, for now, toward downtown Tampa. From there, who knew? She played the voice mail. Tyler’s soft, hurt tone crushed her heat.
“Nevvie, darling, please. Call me. Maggie wouldn’t tell me you’d been here, but from the looks of things I’m assuming you were. Please, talk to me. I love you.”
How long since Tommy had said that to either of them? Felt like forever, that’s for sure. He used to say it to them every day, all the time. Especially making a point to say it to Tyler every night before bed, a routine they’d had since the very start of their relationship. The past few weeks he’d been like a stone wall, nothing in, nothing out.
How stupid was it that she wasn’t even pissed off so much about the kiss? That she could have taken, because she didn’t actually see it, Tyler did and filled in the blank she’d missed.
But he called Jennifer “baby girl.”
She was his baby girl.
Or, that’s what she’s always thought.
Maybe Tommy didn’t think she was so special after all. Maybe he called lots of women that. Maybe another thing she’d been too stupid to notice.
She cried so hard she had to take the Dale Mabry exit and sat crying in the Wal-Mart parking lot and tried to collect herself. Her phone rang three more times and she put it on silent.
All Tyler, not Tommy.
How would the boys play it? Would Tommy sweet talk Tyler and try to have him do the dirty work for him? Or maybe he didn’t really give a fuck about them anymore and wanted them to really leave him alone for good. It’s what he’d been asking for, right?
Baby girl. From the early days, even before she ever moved in with them when she was still just their cleaning girl, she’d been Tyler’s angel and Tommy’s baby girl. Those were their pet names for her.
They’d made her feel special—truly loved—for the first time ever in her life.
When she calmed down she drove south a couple of blocks to the large Borders bookstore. Fortunately she had Adam’s stroller in the trunk and she spent hours browsing, finally buying a few things. She left her phone in the car.
She didn’t feel like eating. It was now after six. Tyler had called five more times since she went in the store.
It wasn’t fair to
punish him like that. He’d done nothing wrong. She opted to send him a text message.
I’m fine. I’ll call you later.
It was a lie because she wasn’t fine, but she had to calm down. Tyler would try to get her to come home and she had to control her anger before she faced Tommy. Twenty seconds later, her phone rang. Tyler. She sent it straight to voice mail. Another fifteen seconds after that, a text message arrived.
Whr r u?
She knew he had to be upset to be using abbreviations. He was nearly as adept at typing with his BlackBerry as he was on a computer, and he abhorred text shorthand with a passion.
Later Tyler, she replied.
She made her way back to the office. How ironic, that she ended up at Tommy’s office? She’d changed her mind about going to a hotel. She knew if she did, Tyler would be monitoring credit cards online and find out where she went. She had to come back to work the next morning anyway. Not to mention while they had the money, her old thrifty habits died hard and she couldn’t bring herself to spend the money when staying at the office was free.
She let herself in, glad to note there were no other cars in the lot. She brought Adam and her things into Tommy’s office and settled in for the night. He had a TV and cable, a couch comfortable enough to sleep on, there was a bathroom with a shower, and she already had extra supplies for the baby right there. She’d have a damn short commute in the morning. She retrieved Adam’s portable crib from her office and locked herself in. Eventually, around eight o’clock, she sent Tyler a text message.
Go outside. I’ll call in 3.
She did. He answered immediately. “Sweetheart, where are you? Are you all right?”
Now she felt guilty. “I’m fine, Ty. I just can’t come home right now. I’ll kill him if I do.”
“Where are you? Please tell me.”
“No, because you’ll show up.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“No! You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not mad at you, baby, I swear.”
Love Slave for Two: Family Matters Page 19