“Sure.”
“What? You don’t like my driving?” Kellie called over her shoulder.
“I don’t like your music,” Autumn snapped back.
They grinned at each other, and Autumn felt some of the tension ease from her chest. She hadn’t been sure when Kellie picked her up at the shop that morning they were okay. For now it seemed Kellie had forgiven her.
“Get the car started.” Carly tossed her the keys and scooted across the new floor to the window units, adjusting the temperature.
Autumn brought up the rear, waving goodbye to the guys as they packed up the straps and packing supplies onto the trailer.
With a moment of privacy, Autumn dug her phone out of her pocket to see what her latest message from Sammi contained.
Have you ever done a guy in the butt?
Autumn sputtered and reread the text. What? Was he serious?
Nope. You requesting?
She shuddered and made her way toward the silver Mustang sitting off the driveway under the shade. She climbed in the passenger side and started the car, cracking the windows until the A/C cooled it down a little.
The phone chimed and she glanced at the latest message, feeling a little apprehensive.
Hell no. Just curious how freaky you like it.
Not that freaky. I’m all about doing what feels good, but strap-ons aren’t my thing.
Good. I like being the one inside you.
The quick exchange felt almost like talking to him. She couldn’t wait to take him up on his offer tonight. Autumn reread the last text and sighed, finding pleasure in knowing it was her Sammi thought about.
Movement from the apartment caught her eye and Autumn watched Carly lock her front door and slowly lower to the ground using the lift.
Jacob broke away from the other men and met Carly halfway to the car. Autumn couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she saw the tense lines on Carly’s face. They stopped near the front of the Mustang and Carly turned toward Jacob.
“Look, I appreciate you coming over to help move my stuff in, I really do, but you’ve got to stop this. You can’t drop in on me randomly. We can’t hang out anymore. I can’t do this,” Carly said, her voice barely loud enough for Autumn to hear.
Jacob’s face was as serene and unreadable as ever. “We’re just—”
Carly swiped a hand over her face. “Jacob, you’re married, and not to me. You need to leave me alone.”
“All right, if that’s how you feel.” He paused, seeming to wait for her to say something else, maybe take her words back, but when Carly kept her mouth shut he turned and walked to the truck.
Autumn sat silently while Carly went through switching from her chair into the car and broke her wheelchair down to fit into the backseat where it sat in easy reach. Last time they’d ridden together Autumn had offered to help and Carly had politely refused, explaining that she needed to be able to rely on herself. Finally she had all her pieces inside and closed the door.
“You heard that, didn’t you?” Carly gripped the wheel, staring forward.
“Yeah.”
Carly sighed and slouched into the seat. “Life’s not fair.”
“No, it’s not.”
Carly didn’t say anything else. She shifted into Drive and they left the morning’s exertions and strife behind.
Autumn’s heart went out to the other woman. Carly wanted what she couldn’t have. Autumn had what she couldn’t keep.
It wasn’t fair.
Chapter Fifteen
Ripped Skin—A tattoo technique where a design is inked to appear as if the dermis is being ripped, shredded or stitched together over another image, such as words, muscles or biomechanical apparatuses.
Sammi roused from sleep, instinctively flattening his hand over his stomach, but this time the muscles were still.
“Sammi?” Autumn called out as the sound of the front door closing punctuated her entrance.
He relaxed even more into the recliner. “In here,” he called out.
“Do I want to know why you’re sitting around in your boxers?” Autumn strolled toward him, the setting sun shining through the windows and bathing her in a warm glow.
“Probably not.” Reliving his afternoon spent in the bathroom was on his list of things not to do.
Autumn swung her leg over his lap and straddled his thighs.
“Hello there, Sunshine.” Her smile was contagious, and he really didn’t feel like smiling.
She pushed her fingers through his hair. “Hi.”
“How’d it go?” Sammi cupped her ass. This was the best thing to happen to him all day.
“What?”
“Today.”
“Slow, but it is a Wednesday. Nothing much ever happens on a Wednesday.” Autumn stretched out next to him, somehow wedging herself between his body and the chair, but mostly draping herself over him. She flattened her hand against his chest, just above his stomach. “You aren’t feeling very good today.”
Sammi scrubbed his face. “Nope.”
“What did the doctors say?”
His stomach clenched, and not from sickness. “Nothing much. Just keep doing what I’m doing.”
Autumn didn’t reply. She snuggled in closer and guilt ate at him. Was it horrible that he didn’t want to spend his last days as a living science experiment? If he submitted to what his doctor would want him to do he’d be poked, prodded and jacked up on drugs so he couldn’t even enjoy the time left to him.
But was it worth lying to the most important people in his life to make himself happy?
His mother, friends and employees thought he had a summer cold.
Autumn knew he was dying, but not that he wasn’t seeking medical attention.
Only he knew the whole picture.
“Have you eaten anything?” Sammi threaded his fingers through her hair, stroking the strands.
“No.”
“Want to order a pizza?”
“Are you going to eat any of it?”
“No.”
“I’ll heat something up.” Autumn kissed his cheek. “Now that you mention it, I’m starving.” She levered up, careful not to knee him in the nuts, and crawled off the recliner.
“This was a pretty good buy, wasn’t it?” He patted the armrest and grinned.
She glanced over her shoulder and blew him a kiss. “For you, but I don’t mind all that much.”
Sammi laughed, feeling better than he had all day. He got to his feet and his calf muscles twinged only a little as he shuffled into the kitchen.
“What’s this?” Autumn lifted the teapot, eyeing the ceramic surface with its painted floral design.
Sammi groaned. “I told Mom not to leave that here.”
Autumn’s gaze flicked to him. “Your mom was here?”
Shit.
“Yeah. She wants us to have dinner tomorrow. I think I got through to her.” He stopped with the island between them.
Autumn lifted the lid from the teapot and sniffed the brew. “Yuck.”
“I know. She’s big on that stuff.”
She took the pot to the sink and poured it down the drain.
“Are you upset she came over?”
Autumn leaned a hip against the counter, one side of her mouth screwed up. “Yes and no.”
“Care to explain?”
“This is your house. You can do whatever you want with it.” She left the pot and cups in the sink and began pulling out her dinner.
“But this is your home too.” He hadn’t told her, wouldn’t because some things should be a surprise, but he’d left this house to her. Whatever they had, it was special, and making sure she never had to go back to the walk-up apartment ever again helped him rest easier.
“Then yeah, it does bother me that she just came in here, probably turning her nose up at my stuff and talking crap about me. I mean, I know I don’t deserve to be with you. Pretty much everyone else has made that perfectly clear—”
“Wait. Hold up
. Don’t deserve me?” They might be different people, but deserving? That was a crock of bullshit if he’d ever heard it.
“The blonde from Miami, even Isaac, the people on Friday, your employees and your mom.” She ticked each off with a finger. “You can’t tell me that’s not how everyone feels.”
“Fuck what they think.” He clenched his fists. Who the hell’s business was it who he—he was with?
Autumn merely shrugged and tore the cardboard off a frozen dinner, resolutely not meeting his gaze.
“Is that what you think too?”
She shrugged. “Maybe.”
Talk about some conflict resolution skills.
Sammi circled the island, clenching his teeth. He caged Autumn with his arms, but she was determined to ignore him. “Turn around.”
She did as he asked, leaning back against the counter. He plucked the plastic container from her hands and tossed it on the counter. When she still wouldn’t meet his gaze, he bumped her chin with his knuckles. Her green eyes flicked to his face and away.
The idea that she felt that way, that she wasn’t good enough for him, was baffling. Sure, they came from different backgrounds and their experiences had molded them into unique people, but one wasn’t better than the other. She might see herself as less than him, but he saw her as extraordinary. How did he tell her this?
“I don’t even know what to say to that except you’ve got it all wrong.”
Her gaze said what her mouth didn’t. Really?
How did he drive it into her thick skull how great she was? He’d learned so much about life just being around her. Couldn’t she see that?
“You’re amazing.” He gathered her hair over one shoulder and kissed the other. “I don’t know how many ways I need to tell you that, but you turn every negative event into something positive.” He paused every few words to drop another kiss on his way to her neck. “You find a way to empathize with people who attack you.” He kissed the curve of her neck and she shivered. “And you’re sunshine.” He kissed just behind her ear. “And you love a man who doesn’t deserve it.”
Sammi couldn’t risk loving her, not when he would leave this Earth long before she did. He could care for her, give her everything she could need for a better future. But he couldn’t give her his heart. It wasn’t part of the bargain. For now though, now he could give her pleasure.
Autumn wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face against the crook of his neck. She deserved to be loved every day of her life, but all he had was the present. So he’d have to make the now count.
Sammi hoisted her onto the island and stepped between her knees. Autumn reached for him, pulling him into her arms and kissing him with the passion he’d begun to crave. She did everything with such abandon. Her zest for life, for love—he wanted to soak her up so some of that rubbed off on him. She yanked her shirt up and over her head and was pushing his boxers down before he could think beyond boobs. He didn’t mind her sex drive either.
“Autumn—”
“Shut up.”
“I think—”
She cupped his face, bringing them so close their noses brushed and he could make out the flecks of green in her eyes. “I don’t want to think. I want to feel.” Her voice broke and he could feel a tremor snake through her body.
He couldn’t begin to understand the way a complex female creature thought, but he could make her feel.
Sammi nodded and kicked out of his boxers she’d nearly divested him of. Autumn shoved her jean skirt and panties off at the same time so she sat on the island in nothing but a necklace and a smile that bore none of the torment he’d glimpsed a moment ago. If sex was what it took to make her feel better he’d give it to her.
Autumn watched Sammi studying her. What did he see when he looked at her? There was lust in his gaze, but something more. It was different from other men, as if he didn’t see the fake boobs, colored hair, piercings and tattoos, but something more. Did he see her? The real her she covered up with body modifications and makeup?
Despite her bawdy humor and crazy lifestyle, she knew deep inside she was still a fragile girl. Which was why Autumn loved so easily, and people who shouldn’t matter still hurt her deeply. Sammi saw that. She could tell by the way he looked at her, what he said about her. He really got her.
It was one of the most vulnerable moments of her life.
She struggled with the immediate desire to flip her hair over her shoulders, hide her breasts, fidget or take control of the situation. Her mind screamed at her to do something, distract him. But Sammi wouldn’t hurt her, at least not intentionally.
Sammi placed his hands on either side of her knees and leaned toward her, slowly, as if he thought she might tell him no. He nipped her lower lip, pinching it between his teeth. She sucked in a breath as the bright, almost painful sensation shot straight to her clit. She arched her back and twined her arms around his neck. He released her lip and kissed the hurt away while she cupped his face and sighed into his mouth, sinking into his kiss, ready to lose herself in the way he made her feel.
Cold, sudden and sharp, gripped her left breast.
Autumn yelped and jerked away, but Sammi had his arm around her waist and the coldness only increased. He grinned at her, but there was nothing fun in the devilish curl of his mouth.
“Hey!” She pushed the frozen dinner he held to her chest away.
Sammi captured her wrist with one hand and pressed the frost-covered food to her other breast. She hissed at the cold and glared at him.
“That’s cold, Sammi.”
“That’s the point.”
What the hell was he up to?
The little metal barbells increased the degree of intensity until she squirmed, leaning away from him as far as she could. Her nipples had contracted to tight, painful peaks, probably sharp enough to cut glass at this point.
Suddenly Sammi let her go and she slumped against the marble countertop. She glared at him, unsure what he would do next.
“What are you—?”
“Sh.” He laid his finger over her lips, one corner of his mouth kicking up. “Feel.”
Damn him.
Sammi circled the island, which had become something like a carnal altar, with her laid out on top as some sensual sacrifice.
She watched him, felt his fingers trace lines inked into her skin on her arms and up to her shoulder as he walked almost a complete circle around her. What was he doing? What did he have planned? Her body was primed, all her focus on him and the sensations he elicited with a little frozen food. Microwave dinners would never be the same, that was for sure.
He bent suddenly, taking her breast into his mouth. She gasped at the contrast, her cold skin and his hot touch. She choked out an incoherent word and blinked as the ceiling blurred. He licked the barbell and his hands roved over her stomach, coasting down her hip, over her collarbone. He flicked the jewelry back and forth, tweaking the tight flesh. That was—different. She arched her back farther and twined her fingers through his hair as he sucked and toyed with her breast.
Holy shit, the magic things he did with that mouth of his.
Sammi switched breasts and she groaned all over again as he twisted and tweaked the barbell. She squirmed and flattened her hands on the counter, a cold counterpoint to the heat radiating from her flesh. Warming gels, wax, that she’d used before. But never cold. It was more extreme and not quite entirely pleasurable, but she dug it. The sharper sensations, the way his hot mouth on her frozen skin drove all thought out of her mind, but most of all the way it made her feel. Her body arched and undulated as he worked her over.
He slipped his hand between her legs, passing his fingers between her folds, coating them with her arousal. His thumb passed over her clit again and again, sensitizing the nub even more than it already was.
Oh yes.
She wanted him there, but his hand wouldn’t be enough. She needed all of him. Now.
Autumn dug her hands into his hair and p
ulled him up for a kiss. He let go of her breast with a pop. She tugged on his hair, bringing him to where she wanted him, sucking his lower lip into her mouth and nipping it like he’d done to her. His hand stayed between her legs, gently strumming her clit and flicking the ring back and forth. It wasn’t enough to do anything except stoke the fire within.
He thrust his tongue into her mouth the same moment he pushed two fingers deep inside her, curling them to hit that sensitive hidden spot. She gasped and her vision went hazy. She felt him chuckle against her mouth. His stubble rasped over her cheek and jaw, down to her neck.
She muttered something. Her brain was incapable of thought, of forming anything resembling a sentence.
Sammi withdrew from her and made another complete circle around the island, studying her as he went. She sucked down deep breaths, her body aching for him. He stopped at her knees, placing a hand on either thigh and slowly pushing them open wider to accommodate him. He wedged his hips between her legs.
He leaned forward on his elbows, holding her gaze and blowing a hot breath over her mound. She shivered again and wrapped her legs around his waist, as if she had any hope of holding him prisoner to her will.
“Sammi,” she said between clenched teeth. He’d kill her with the drawing it out. Foreplay was great and all, but she needed him.
He parted her folds and thrust his fingers inside her once more. She groaned and rolled her hips, wanting more. Not just his fingers, but all of him. The man took particular joy in driving her crazy.
“You’ve got to come back to me,” he muttered. Sammi grasped her knees and pulled her across the slick marble surface until her legs hung off the edge. At some point she’d wiggled almost to the middle of the island, probably during his cold and hot torment of her body.
Autumn sat up, wrapping her arms and legs around him. She reached between them and grasped his cock, glad they’d done away with the clothing already. She didn’t have the mental capacity to bother with pesky things like buttons and zippers, not when she wanted him as bad as her next breath, but he held back, resisting the pull of her hands.
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