For The Sake of Her Family

by Diane Allen

  ‘The blue room, Faulks. And thank you for helping me move my few possessions.’ Alice smiled at the poker-faced butler; perhaps he was not so bad. Mrs Dowbiggin bullied him something terrible, and yet he never so much as batted an eyelid.

  ‘Good choice by Master Gerald – it gets all the morning sun. Follow me and we will see to it straight away, Miss Alice.’

  ‘Stuffy old cock,’ Mrs Dowbiggin muttered as the pair moved out of the kitchen. ‘No good will come of this day, you mark my words.’

  13

  ‘You’ve certainly come off well with my forthcoming marriage, Sis. I’m still in shock myself. I can’t believe how much comes with our dear Nancy. Hard to believe no one else has picked her up with her being worth all that money.’ Will Bentham sat in his usual fireside seat, his shoes practically smoking from the warmth of the fire as he rested them on the trivet. ‘She’s worth a mint! We’ll never want for a penny.’

  ‘Everything comes at a price, our Will. Do you really know what you’ve taken on? I can’t help but think there’s something wrong. A woman of her standing should not be marrying one of us. I don’t want to see any one of us hurt – I’ve had enough hurt lately to last me a lifetime.’ Alice took her cloak off and sat in the chair next to her brother.

  ‘Give over – we’re made! You’re always looking at the downside, you are. Here you are living in the fancy house you’ve always dreamed of, and here’s me with my own business, a wife that’ll adore me and a nice income – what more can we wish for? All we need to do now is find you a fellow from the snooty circles you’ll be moving in and then we’ve cracked it.’ Will grinned at his sister as she played with her fur-trimmed gloves. ‘I see you’ve been spending their money already: new gloves, dress and cloak. That lot must have cost a pretty penny.’

  ‘Nancy said I’d to have them when we went to Kendal the other week. She had a fitting for her wedding dress and while we were there she insisted I should have a new dress and cloak. I don’t know how much they cost: it was all billed to the manor.’ Alice fumbled with the gloves, embarrassed. She had thought that she would enjoy having clothes bought for her and being treated like a lady, but in all honesty, she wasn’t comfortable in her new position. She was neither one thing nor the other, with no purpose in life other than being companion to Nancy. She had also felt extremely uncomfortable when the dressmaker measured her, eyeing her up and down, making her feel like something on the bottom of her shoe. Nancy had assured her that the woman was only doing her job and not to be so silly. But still she felt unworthy of the quality material that was being draped on her.

  ‘Well, we’ll have to find you somebody, ’cos I see you and Jack have fallen out, else he wouldn’t have had Amy Lawson on his arm in the Moon the other night. Can’t say I blame him, like. She is a bonny bit of a thing.’ He smiled, remembering Jack giving Amy a kiss outside the pub’s entrance.

  ‘I . . . I didn’t know Jack had found someone else. Is she all right, this Amy? I don’t think I know her.’ Alice was taken aback. She knew Jack had been avoiding her, but she thought that he would have had the decency to tell her that they’d finished and that he had moved on. She missed Jack’s company; he was a best friend who always made everything all right, no matter how bad things were. How she wished that he were still friends with her, just for company and for someone to talk to and share her concerns with.

  ‘’Course you know her; she’s from Bridge End. Her father once sold us a bull – queer old bloke, said he’d come and do the job himself if his bull didn’t perform. She’s probably like her father. Knowing Jack, he’ll be going at it like a rabbit up in that bed over the stables!’ Will grinned, oblivious to the hurt he was causing his sister.

  ‘Don’t be so vulgar, our Will! Besides, there is no bedroom at the stables, so he won’t be doing any such thing.’

  ‘There bloody well is! He uses it when he’s got a broody mare or when he wants a bit of peace and quiet, so that nobody knows he’s there. Funny bugger, I’ve often shouted for him at the stable door with no reply, only to find him laying low up in that hayloft, not wanting to talk to anyone. Come to think of it, you two are a lot alike. He goes up in his loft, and you go up the fell. Funny buggers, the pair of you.’

  ‘I didn’t know he had a room up there.’ Alice now knew why Jack had been avoiding her. He’d been there in his hidey-hole the day when she was upset and talked to his horse. No wonder he was avoiding her like the plague. She had thought it was because of her new position at the manor; she should have known better. Jack wasn’t like that. One day she’d tell him the truth, but not yet. ‘I hope he’ll be happy with Amy. Me and him just weren’t meant to be.’

  ‘Come on, our lass, cheer up. Bloody hell, you’re hard work today! Another few months and it’s my wedding. What do you think our folks would say? I’ll never forget that evening when Gerald Frankland brought Father home. God, the old man was drunk. That’s when all this started, if you think about it.’

  Alice tried to rally her spirits with thoughts of the wedding. For all her faults, Nancy was a good woman who was in love with Will. ‘So have you got a new suit? And who’s to be your best man? You know I’m your matron of honour, don’t you?’ Alice grinned at her brother. ‘Don’t tell me, let me guess: it’s Jack, isn’t it? I can’t understand why none of their family is coming, not even any of Gerald’s friends. It’s going to be a quiet affair, because there’s not many of our side still standing.’

  ‘Never mind, Sis, we’ll all be there that counts. As long as I get a ring on her finger, that’s all that matters. Don’t worry, I’ll tell Jack not to rub your nose in it with his latest conquest. I know you think a lot of him really.’ He winked. He’d noticed how upset she’d been when he joked about Jack and Amy, but it would never have worked between Alice and Jack. Too much to handle, was his sister. She’d soon have got bored with his steady best friend.

  ‘Don’t care if he does. I’ve got other fish to fry.’ Alice wasn’t going to let her brother’s words hurt her. Besides, when it came to Jack, she was the one who had done all the hurt; she deserved everything she got. But she was damned if she was going to let her brother know that.

  ‘That’s it, lass – don’t let the buggers grind you down. No matter how bad it gets, keep on fighting, else they’ve won and that’s not what life’s about. What’s made you come up here today to visit, then? No lords or ladies to entertain or take high tea with?’

  ‘Gerald’s going through his tenancies for the year. There’ll be tenants going in and out of his office all day today. I thought it would be better if I made myself scarce. We’re the talk of the dale as it is, without me being there to add to the gossip. Imagine the embarrassment if Father’s friends saw me strutting about, dressed to the nines, when they’d come cap in hand to keep their homes for another year.’

  ‘But we’ve done nothing wrong, Alice. We’ve only taken what was on offer to us and made the best of a bad situation. Come on, lass, it’s what you’ve always wanted: big house, good clothes, full belly – a lot more than we’ve had in the past.’

  ‘You don’t understand. We have all the material things that we ever needed, but I realize now it’s not them that’s important. It’s knowing who you are, being your own person and having your freedom. I love being part of the family, but I need that little bit more security, same as you have.’ Alice reached for her cloak and put it around her shoulders. ‘I’ve got to go. I’m meeting Mrs Dowbiggin at St John’s. We’ve got to decide how to decorate the church. Thank God you both chose April – at least there will be spring flowers to decorate it with!’ She opened the cottage door and smiled at Will.

  ‘Ali, if you don’t like it, change it. Set your head and go for it – bring me back my stubborn, headstrong little sister, the one with the attitude, please.’ He got up and kissed her tenderly on her cheek. ‘Stick me some dandelions in a jam jar – that’ll do for their wedding. Let’s bring ’em down to our level.’

  ‘Nay,
we can’t have that, our Will. They’d be wetting the bed all night – isn’t that what Mum used to say when we picked dandelions?’ Alice grinned and closed the door.

  Will was right: she needed a kick up the bum. After all, she was now Miss Alice, not plain Alice Bentham; she had an allowance and was about to help arrange her brother’s wedding to Lord Frankland’s sister. Enough moaning – time to get on with things.

  The walk to the church was exactly what Alice needed. Although it was only the end of January, the weather was quite mild and she enjoyed the two-mile stroll from Stone House to St John’s, breathing in the sharp, clear air and seeing early signs of spring all around her. Lichen covered the tops of the walls and the bark of the bare trees, making everything greener than the grey day should have permitted. In another week or two, the grassy banks would be full of celandines, primroses and wood sorrel and the pungent aroma of wild garlic would fill the air along the riverside. The trees would be filled with nesting birds and the dark nights would soon be gone. It was a time to look forward, to get on with life and stop dwelling on the past.

  ‘Where have you been? I thought me and Faulks were going to freeze to death in this little church. It isn’t like the one at Dent; there’s nothing grand about this one. There was me getting in a tizz, worrying about all the preparations that needed doing, and Faulks has just told me that there’s only going to be ten at the wedding. Lord Frankland doesn’t want a big do, doesn’t think Miss Nancy could handle it.’ Mrs Dowbiggin shook her head. ‘It gets stranger by the minute. I always dreamed that a Frankland wedding would be a splendid affair. I was really looking forward to decorating the church and manor, cooking for a huge wedding party and making the finest wedding cake, and now Master Gerald’s saying immediate family only. It’s a rum do, is this wedding.’

  ‘I like St John’s. It’s a lovely little church, nestled here among the yew trees and with the river running by. I don’t think Nancy and Will would have felt comfortable in anything bigger. This is charming.’ Alice surveyed the wooden pews and glittering altarpieces and felt a peace she hadn’t known in a long time. ‘It’s not all about status, Mrs Dowbiggin; it’s about being right for the moment.’ She watched the old housekeeper wrinkle her nose and run a finger along the altar. ‘I hope that they will be very happy together and that their union will be blessed with children.’

  ‘Hold your tongue! That’s the last thing we want to hear at the manor – you couldn’t have cursed this union more if you tried!’ Mrs Dowbiggin’s eyes flashed as if Alice had sworn in the house of the Lord.

  ‘Mrs Dowbiggin, enough! Miss Alice only meant well, didn’t you, dear?’ Faulks intervened.

  The two servants exchanged looks. Though no words were spoken, they were remembering Nancy’s mother teetering on the brink of insanity after childbirth. It was a curse that had plagued generation after generation of Frankland women.

  Observing them, Alice curbed the impulse to snap at the old housekeeper and instead took her by the hand and said softly, ‘Of course I meant well. Everyone wants to see children from a marriage. Why do you call it a curse, Mrs Dowbiggin? You seem certain that this marriage is doomed and I don’t understand why, especially when Nancy is so happy.’

  Mrs Dowbiggin took her handkerchief out of her coat pocket and began patting her eyes. Putting an arm around her, Alice led her to one of the oak pews and they sat down. Faulks, sensing that women’s talk was imminent, made himself scarce. He only hoped that he had been sharp enough to stop Mrs Dowbiggin from saying anything out of turn.

  ‘I’m being overprotective, Alice, that’s all. The worst pain that any woman can have is childbirth. I’m almost like a mother to that girl and I don’t want her to go through that. You know how it is.’ Mrs Dowbiggin, obviously flustered, stuffed her handkerchief into her coat pocket.

  ‘But you can’t protect her for ever. She’s of an age to make her own life, and she loves our Will so much; I hope he returns that love and looks after her. Now come on. With some daffodils and narcissi we’ll make this church the bonniest in the dale on their wedding day. And I’ll bet you’ve a cake already made in the kitchen, soaking up alcohol as we speak.’ Alice took her hand and patted it and they both quietly walked out of the church and along the pathway to where Faulks stood waiting.

  ‘What do you say, Faulks? Time to celebrate and look forward, eh? How can they not be happy? They have everything and more besides.’

  ‘Indeed so, Miss Alice.’

  Alice turned to close the church’s black cast-iron gate, just missing Faulks putting his finger to his lips, urging Mrs Dowbiggin not to continue with the conversation.

  ‘Right, I’ll not be heading back to the manor with you on the main road. I realized as I came through the dale to meet you that I need some time to myself, so I’m going up there.’ Alice pointed to the top of the fell.

  ‘But your clothes, Miss Alice – that beautiful cloak!’

  ‘My sanity is more important. I need my thinking time. I’ll see you at suppertime – do lay me a place.’

  As she watched the two servants set off along the road, she could imagine Mrs Dowbiggin commenting, ‘You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear,’ as soon as she was out of earshot. Frankly, Alice didn’t care. Let them think what they would; she knew what mattered to her and she had just begun to realize that it wasn’t money.

  Alice hurried up the drive to the manor, her dress hem plastered with mud from taking shortcuts across the fells and a tear in her cloak where she had snagged it on a hawthorn tree in her hurry to climb a stile on the way home. She realized with a jolt of alarm that she’d lost one of her gloves. She resolved to hunt for it later. The light was fading and she could see the candles and gas lamps had been lit in the manor. She decided to chance the front door rather than the back, not wanting to have to explain the state of her clothes to Mrs Dowbiggin. First she stopped to wipe the mud off her beautiful tight-buttoned boots. The leather had been spotless and shiny when she had set out, but now looked in need of at least an hour’s polishing if not repair. She wiped them roughly on the grass verge, then brushed herself down. Seeing the state of herself, she felt a little frisson of alarm, but told herself what the hell, she’d only been for a walk. It wasn’t as if she’d stolen the Crown jewels. She walked up the steps and quietly opened the front door, wiping her feet on the doormat and hurrying through the hall without anyone seeing her.

  ‘Evening, Alice.’ Gerald Frankland was just closing Nancy’s bedroom door as Alice, head down, came running up the stairs. ‘Nancy’s been enquiring as to your whereabouts. I told her that you had gone for a walk after your meeting with Mrs Dowbiggin at the church.’

  ‘Sorry, Gerald, I lost track of time. I’ll get changed and go into Nancy straight away.’ Trying to hide her distressed attire, Alice brushed past him to get to her own bedroom.

  ‘I trust, by the state of your dress, you enjoyed your walk. It’s certainly brought colour to your cheeks. Perhaps you can entertain us at the dinner table by telling us where your walk took you.’

  Uncertain whether he was being serious, Alice simply nodded and darted into her room, closing the door behind her. Of all the people to run into! She was mortified that he’d seen her in such an unkempt state, and conscious how ungrateful he must think her, getting her expensive new clothes in such a mess. Anxious not to keep Nancy waiting, she changed clothes, placed her boots outside her door to be cleaned by Faulks, and hurried along to Nancy’s room.

  ‘Where do you think you’ve been? I’ve been on my own all afternoon, without any company, no explanation, nothing, cast to one side like a disused doll!’ Nancy yelled, her hair unbrushed, her scarred face even more distorted with rage. ‘I will not be on my own! You are getting paid to be my companion twenty-four hours a day, not just when you feel like it.’ She thumped the mattress that she was sitting on with her clenched fists and glared at Alice.

  It had been a while since Alice had seen Nancy in one of her tempers. She
’d forgotten just how frightening and domineering she could be.

  ‘I was never told I was to be a twenty-four-hour companion. I thought I was to be tret more like family, now you are to marry my brother.’ Alice spoke softly but firmly; she wasn’t going to kowtow. The few hours that she had enjoyed walking had made her realize that, since New Year’s Day, she had not had a single hour to herself. ‘I’m sorry, Nancy, I should have asked you first, but I thought you and your brother were busy with the tenants today.’

  ‘Tenants? What do I know about tenants? They are my brother’s business. I can’t be bothered to sort out rents and finances. I needed you here. I haven’t felt well all day and now my bloody brother is threatening me with the doctor.’ She pounded the mattress again, then fixed Alice with her blazing dark eyes. ‘Whatever gave you the idea you were going to be family? You are Alice, the poor girl we took pity on – nothing more! Now get out of my room. I’m not dining with you tonight. I’ve told Gerald I need dinner in my room – and you can just go down to the kitchen and see to it. Go on, get out!’ Nancy threw her hands up in the air.

  Alice said nothing but walked to the door with as much dignity as she could. It was a replay of her first encounter with Nancy, that day when she’d told her she was a spoilt, rich brat and she never wanted to see her again. As she closed the door behind her, she heard the crash of something being thrown against a wall.

  So that was how it lay, she thought to herself as she went downstairs: Alice, the girl everyone took pity on, never to be treated like real family. Well, she wouldn’t put up with it. Wedding or no wedding, there was no way she would be staying where she wasn’t wanted. If she hadn’t spent the day getting her thoughts together up on her beloved fells, she would probably have been crying. But no, she was a Bentham, her roots were in the Dales, and she was better than any off-comed family, with or without money.