“I don’t want to leave. You know I don’t want to walk away from us again either, but how can this work? I live six hours away. I have a house of my own too. I have my job, my family, and my friends.”
“Move here. Live here,” he answers.
“Don’t ask me to do that, Kevin. That’s not fair. You know I did that once before, and it nearly destroyed me. You don’t want to be responsible if that happens again,” I say cautiously.
“That wouldn’t happen to us.”
“You don’t know that.” It’s the truth.
We are getting nowhere on this.
“Let’s take a break from this conversation. We still have four more days. We will address this some other time. Let me take you out and meet my friends, and we can have some fun.” Now he’s trying.
“Yeah? That sounds like a plan,” I say with a half smile on my face.
“You have some makeup right?” he questions.
“Yeah?” I’m a little offended.
“NO. I didn’t mean it like that–It’s just that bruise is still pretty brutal looking. I don’t want my friends thinking we are a couple of off the wall kinks,” he says shyly.
I laugh. “Yeah, I can tone it down a little.”
“Okay. It’s been getting a little chilly at night here, so dress a little warmer. Do you want to take a shower and warm up?” he asks with eyebrows raised.
“Warm up?” I ask, in turn my eyebrows are raised too.
“Well, you know that I would be joining you,” he says matter of factly, stepping closer to me now.
“I would hope so,” I say, grabbing the hem of my shirt, teasing him.
“Of course, my love.”
I squat down to get my clothes and stuff out of my bag before I head in to the shower. That nickname is going to end up killing me. Well, not killing me, but destroying my heart is more like it.
CHAPTER TWENTY
After we get out of the shower, and yes it was a proper shower complete with soap and shampoo and everything, Kevin goes into the room to get dressed. I wrap a towel around me and around my hair and get my makeup bag and clothes and head back into the bathroom. Kevin’s stuff is at the first sink, so not wanting to disturb his stuff, I move to the farther sink and lay out my stuff. I wipe off the mirror and stare at my cheek. Well, it’s not horrible, but it still looks bad. I’m going to look like such an ass with all the makeup I’m going to have to put on to try and tone it down. I start applying my foundation to get everything as level as I can. When I think it’s as toned down I can get it, I go about the rest of my makeup. After my eyeliner is on, I start on my mascara.
By now Kevin has made his way to the bathroom door and is leaning against it, looking at me going through my ritual.
I stop the brush mid-air and turn my head to look at him. He isn’t looking at me. He is looking at the counter in front of me. I look down and see all of my things laid out: deodorant, perfume, lip gloss, hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, my makeup, and lastly, my ring that I bought out at the waterfront.
He still hasn’t said anything, so I go back to putting my mascara on.
“I’ll put it all away when I’m done, if that’s what you are worrying about,” I say, not looking at him.
He sighs and turns away from the door.
“It looks good where it is,” he says as he is walking away.
Shit. Why don’t I just rip his heart out now and get it over with? As that thought passes through my mind, I think that maybe I need to go ahead and rip my heart out as well, so it can join him. Dammit, this is going to be harder than I thought.
After I finish putting on my lip gloss, I pick up my ring and slip it on. All I have to do now is get dressed. I’ve brought my clothes in with me as to not parade around in my towel in front of Kevin. We might not leave the house again. So after I am dressed, I step out of the bathroom and look around for Kevin. He isn’t in the room, so I look to the patio doors. There he is. The doors are open a little, and I take a minute to look at him.
He is dressed in a pair of jeans and a button-down, long sleeve, white shirt with a navy blue fleece vest zipped up over it. His hands are in his pockets, and he is standing straight up and is taking deep breaths in and out. His head is tilted towards the sky a little, and his eyes are closed. It looks like he is trying to make a decision about something but comes up with nothing. I hope he isn’t thinking about me leaving or trying to take another stab at the whole move here/live here conversation.
I step to the doors a little more and open one very slowly, so I can try to surprise him.
“I know you’re there, my love. Even when it’s dead quiet, you are my surrounding sound,” he says without looking at me.
“Well, so much for trying to surprise you,” I say dryly.
“You always surprise me, love, but I feel you when you are near, and I can smell your perfume, Heaven on earth,” he says, finally turning around to look at me. He rolls his eyes down me and then back up again. Taking his hands out of his pockets, he walks over and stops in front of me. He squints his eyes a little when looking over my face.
“Looks pretty good. You could almost miss it if you weren’t looking for it.” He says, resting his hand on my jaw and brushing his thumb lightly over where the bruise is.
“I’m wearing a little more makeup than I usually do. I don’t like it, but I don’t want people to think we are a couple of kinks,” I say, smiling at him.
“Thank you for wearing your hair down,” he quietly says.
He lets his hand run down my neck, over my shoulder, and down my arm, and he grabs my hand lightly. Feeling something on my hand, he pulls it up to his face and sees my ring on my ring finger.
“What do you have here?” he asks as he slips off my ring and holds it up to look at. He stills when he sees it in the light. Something is up. It is as if he recognizes it or something.
“It was you,” he says so quietly I almost don’t hear him.
“What?” I ask
“Beautiful flowers, guarded flowers.” He sighs, “How very fitting.”
I thought maybe he would get it, but why did he ignore my question?
“I got it from a nice lady at one of the vendors down by the waterfront. She had some beautiful pieces that she makes by hand.” He didn’t ask, but I’m just trying to fill the silence after his awkward and very true statement.
“Hm.” He apparently is not going to be forming sentences anytime soon, so I reach up to take the ring from him and put it back on, but he pulls it away, not ready to give it back.
He takes my hand with his free one and steps a little closer to me. Holding the palm of my hand so my fingers are fanned out a little, he places the ring back on my ring finger, and then brings it up to give it a kiss, all the while, still looking into my eyes.
Oh my. Maybe that marriage proposal earlier was real?
I smile at his smile, and then I smile bigger.
“You ready to get out of the house?” he asks, pulling me into him.
After taking an inhale of him into my nose, I turn my face up to him. “I would like a kiss, please, before we leave,” I state.
He cradles my face and looks into my eyes. What this man can do to me with just a look.
He closes his eyes and presses his lips to my cheek lightly. Then he pulls away, grabs my hand, and heads us back into the house.
Um. Okay?
When we get to our destination, a bar call Galley’s, I have been told to sit tight where I am. I laugh because I know what he’s doing. I open my door and get out. When he gets to my side, he lets out a huff, opens the door again, and points for me to get back in with a grunt. I laugh again, but humor him at the same time and get back in the truck. He closes the door. After a deep breath in and then out, he opens the truck door and lets me get out again, closing it with a little something extra behind it.
“Relax. It’s just a door. I’m not helpless, love.” I laugh as I start to walk towards the bar. I stop and t
urn suddenly, realizing what I have just said, and Kevin bumps into me.
“Sorry, babe,” he says, looking at me while putting his phone in his pocket. “Are you okay?” he asks.
“Shit. Should I not call you love while we are out with your friends. Come to think about it, do they even know that I’m here, or who I am for that matter, or are you letting me walk into a lion’s den wearing a steak suit?” I am all of a sudden nervous.
It is not because I am meeting his friends or anything like that, but I’m meeting the friends that saw him after he came back from meeting me. Oh shit. Yeah, I am nervous.
“They are going to love you. If you want, we won’t let them know just exactly who you are to me. You are a woman that I am getting to know, and I wanted you to meet my friends,” he explains.
“Sounds good, I guess,” I say with a shrug.
We walk through the door that Kevin has held open for me, and I see a table of about five people sitting, and the guys have their arms up as a hello for Kevin to come and join them.
Deep breath in, May.
He places his hand on the small of my back and leads me to the table.
“What’s up, man? “
“You don’t come out during the week.”
“He called out of work all this week for some reason and hasn’t told anyone why. Care to explain?”
He is hit with question after question while he shakes hands with everyone and gives all the girls a small peck on the cheek.
“Easy y’all. I’ve just got some things that I need to take care of right now,” he says, pulling a couple chairs up from the next table and holding the back of mine while I sit down.
God, he is such a gentleman. I love him more and more with every passing second.
“You want a drink?” he asks, leaning into my ear a little closer than he needs to.
“Please, Bud Light, shot of Crown, neat,” I say smoothly while I sit back in my chair and get relaxed.
“A girl after my own heart,” one of the guys says while holding up his own shot of Crown, downing it, and chasing it with a sip of his Bud Light.
I smile and Kevin gets up to head to the bar, leaving me to fend for myself.
“You don’t live here, do you?” one of the girls asks.
“No, I’m in town for work,” I reply. Well, that was true at one point.
“What do you do?” another girl asks.
“I’m a security advisor,” I say. Now that’s a half lie.
All eyebrows have gone up at that, obviously wanting to know more.
The live band has started to play, and I turn to watch them, so I can avoid the stares. But now I get to have the pleasure of having those same stares burning into the side of my head.
After a few minutes of listening to the band, Kevin has come back to the table with our drinks. I down the shot in one gulp, take a sip out of my Bud Light, and rest it with both hands in my lap. Kevin has now placed his hand on my thigh above my knee and is giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“So what does a security advisor do exactly?” one of the other girls says, still thinking about my answer.
I look at Kevin.
“She kicks people’s asses when they don’t stay in line,” he says calmly like it’s no big deal and takes a swing from his beer.
I laugh and nod in agreement. I raise my beer and clink bottles with him. “Well said, sir.”
He smiles that smile for me, and it’s like we are the only ones there.
“Huh?” one of his buddies asks, completely confused along with the rest of the table.
I look back at Kevin, and he shrugs his shoulders in a way that says go for it if you want.
I take another sip, much longer this time, and ask them if they have heard of McCall’s Bar.
“Oh yeah, yeah. I heard they were bringing in some team to completely redo security in that place. I hear they are pretty bad ass. They are like MMA fighters and shit, and one of them is supposed to be–” He stops and snaps his eyes to me, giving me the once over.
“A woman,” I finish his statement.
When no one says anything, I just laugh a little and take another swig. Kevin is looking at me again, trying to hold back his laugh and holds his beer up for us to clink again. There you go.
“Holy shit. Are you serious?” another girl asks, shocked.
“Well, I don’t really like to fight in the bars unless something happens, but I have actual scheduled fights about once a month.” I’m getting slightly uncomfortable that all eyes are on me and mouths are hanging open.
Kevin gets up from the table and makes his way to the band. I watch as he shakes the lead singer’s hand and talks to him in between songs. He must know him. I take another drink, and as I do, I look over at the rest of the table. They are still looking at me. Shit. I shouldn’t have said anything.
“So are you a dyke or something?” another girl asks, obviously threatened and looking to piss me the fuck off, apparently. I have been asked that before, but not in such a vulgar way and not in such a bitchy snobby way either.
“No, actually. I’m not a lesbian . . . which is the proper vernacular, by the way, but if there is a problem with me being here, please feel to let me know, and I will be more than happy to go sit somewhere else,” I say quietly, looking into her eyes. I can feel my body tense up at the rush inside me.
“Jesus, Sue, don’t be such a bitch,” the second girl says. “Sorry about her. She’s just in her own world. She‘s always been the toughest in our little group, and I think she might just be a little threatened at how, uh . . . well, strong you are, I guess are the words I’m looking for.”
God bless her. She is trying so hard to calm the situation down.
“I get it all the time. Don’t worry about it,” I say while focusing my eyes back on Sue. “Because I sure as hell don’t.”
When she gets up in a huff and grabs her purse, she marches off to the bathroom.
I laugh and then take another sip of my beer. Too funny.
“I’m Rose,” she says, holding her hand out.
“I’m . . . May,” I slowly test while shaking her hand at the same time.
The guys have now exchanged glances with each other as if trying to piece it all together. Before they can, the band starts up again, and we all turn to watch. It’s a slow song, and a few people have made their way out on to the dance floor to get close and start to sway.
Kevin stands there staring at our table, and then crooks his finger in a come here way. Everyone looks around at each other. I point to Rose, and he shakes his head no. I point to the other girl, Erin, and he again shakes his head no again.
Sue has now made her way back from the bathroom and takes her seat while asking what’s going on to everyone.
“Kevin doesn’t dance,” Rose says quietly, and for some reason, not blinking.
“I have known him for five years, and I have never seen him dance . . . ever,” the guy next to her says.
I point to me, and he shakes his head yes and smiles that smile. I put my beer down, stand up, and walk over to him. When I get to him, he grabs my hand and pulls me towards him, so I bump into him a little bit. He puts his other arm around my waist, and we are off dancing in our own little world.
We stare into each other’s eyes as the slow song of Restless Heart’s words flows around us:
“I’ll be loving you ‘till the sun doesn’t shine
Till time stands still
Until the winds don’t blow,”
Oh, this is where I want to be.
When we turn so that I can see our table, they are staring at us like they are witnessing a phenomenon. I laugh a little at that, and Kevin looks at me with a question on his face. I inform him of what happened earlier, and he has now turned his head to look back at the table as well. He laughs, full out laughs, at the expressions of shock on their faces.
“I don’t dance, my love,” he says, looking back to me.
“I think you dance very
well,” I say
“No. It’s just my partner that makes me a good dancer,” he says, kissing the tip of my nose.
As the song comes to an end, I pull away from Kevin, but he holds me in place. Another slow song starts to play.
“I’m not done yet,” he says as he gets a tighter grip on my waist, and we move together once again. This time the band is playing Faith Hill and Tim McGraw’s “I need you,” and I think I melt a little more.
“I need you
Like a lighthouse needs the coast
Like the Father and the Son need the Holy Ghost
I need you.”
Kevin is telling me everything without actually saying a word himself, and I am okay with that. I need him like he needs me. We press our foreheads together and get as close as humanly possible for two people to dance.
I have stopped looking at our table when I can see them because right now, I can’t think about them, let alone see them or anything else right now.
Just Kevin.
As I look into his eyes and feel his body pressed against mine, the thought of not having that any more comes into my mind. A shiver goes through my entire body, head to toe.
“Cold, love?” Kevin asks as his lips brush against my ear.
“Definitely not cold.” I smile into his neck and take an inhale of him again.
God, he smells so good.
Yet another song comes to an end, and I again make my way from Kevin. And yet again, he pulls me back to him for another slow dance.
This time when I look at him, there isn’t a playful smile or a stern expression. It’s just Kevin, the man I love with every fiber of my being.
This time the song is by Luke Bryant and the band starts to sing about a couple having their first love song, and I feel the tears beginning to fill my eyes. I’m smiling at him as one finally falls down my cheek. He brushes it away and kisses its trail for good measure.
“You’re my one,
My from now on,
My first love song.”
“You are, you know,” he whispers in my ear.
Need You, Need Me (The Need Series Book 1) Page 17