“Was someone else here?” I ask, trying to remember and looking around the room.
“Yeah, a doctor from down the way a little. I called an ambulance, but it would’ve taken them thirty minutes to get here, and you were unconscious. So I hung up on them and called Frank down the road. He came right over, and when we got you into the house and into bed, he gave you a onceover. Thank God you were out of it because he was bending everything, and I know you had to be hurting. Nothing is broke, he said, but if you start having sharp pains anywhere, I am taking you in. You have a concussion, a nasty bump on the back of your head, and then your whole left side is bruised. Well, at least the parts that hit first: hip, elbow, and shoulder. You actually fell pretty well, if that makes any sense,” he says while trying to calm down.
“Yeah, I know how to fall. I took a tumble class a couple of years back. And that’s all the class is: falling so you don’t break anything or seriously hurt yourself. I must have forgotten what to do with my head, and now I have a stupid concussion,” I explain as I try to stretch things out and take stock of my own body.
“I’m actually not that bad, I think,” I half lie.
“Jesus Christ, May. You have no idea how scared I was.” He’s shaking.
“I know. That wasn’t the easiest thing to see, I’m sure,” I say, brushing my hand down his cheek.
I sit up right, forgetting my bruised ass, and ignoring the flinch. Kevin backs off a little.
“The HORSES! Are they okay? Do we need to go get them? Kevin, they must be scared shitless.”
“Lay your ass back down right fucking now!” Kevin says through clenched teeth.
“You are worried about the horses?” he asks a little calmer after I lay back down.
“Yeah, they got scared in the first place. What the hell was that sound anyway?” I ask, rubbing my temples.
“I don’t know, May.” He gets up and sits down on the edge of the bed. He reaches over, grabs something, and puts it on the back of my head. I jump a little at the ice pack, but then I settle my head on it.
“I’m tired,” I say, yawning.
“You can’t go to sleep, love, not for six hours, not with a concussion.”
“Okay, no sleep. Well that’s awful . . . Can we take a bath?” I ask.
“No, but you can,” he says, pulling back the covers and offering his hand.
“Yeah, but I can’t wash my back, so it would just make sense that you get in with me,” I say, smiling.
“Shit, May! I am so sorry,” he says, looking me up and down.
“Why the hell am I naked?” I groan.
“Well, I stripped you down to your underwear and bra to let Frank check you out, and then took those off once he was gone because I thought maybe you would be more comfortable,” he says quietly.
“You copped a feel, didn’t you,” I say, taking a small step and stopping.
“Stop it, May. I don’t take advantage of unconscious women.”
I roll my eyes. “I hurt.” Duh.
“Well, that beautiful body is showing it loud and clear.”
I look down my left side. Oh, shit. Big ugly bruises are looking up at me from my hip, shoulder, and elbow. More bruises? Are. You. Kidding me? I look like someone beat the livin’ hell out of me, when you add the bruises from my cheek and wrist.
“Good Lord, I look awful,” I groan and take a couple of more steps.
“Can you walk on your own? I am going to get the bathwater started. I will be right back,” he says, making sure I am stable before letting go of my hand and walking fast to the bathroom.
I hear knobs being turned, and then the water is on. It sounds like my salvation.
I make my way to the bathroom door and lean against it, thoroughly drained of what little energy I had left.
“Kev?” I ask quietly.
“Yeah? Are you okay?” he asks, getting up off the edge of the tub and looking at me with wide eyes.
“I’m fine, babe . . . Are you mad at me, Kevin?” I ask, not looking at him but his bare feet.
“No! How the hell could I be mad at you? I mean, the takeoff you did after lunch was a bit much, but you didn’t see me smiling the entire time I was trying to catch up with you. And being thrown wasn’t your fault at all. In fact, you handled that throw a lot better than some of the guys I know. One guy got thrown and broke his arm and hip. I am actually surprised you aren’t hurt worse.” His eyes shoot to mine. “Are you? Because I will call Frank to come back over. Swear to God, I will–”
I hold up my hand and wave it up and down silently asking him to calm down.
“No, I really think I am okay. That bath is calling my name. Can you help me in?” I ask, holding on to the sink’s counter and making my way in front of the tub.
“Kevin, what are you doing? You still have your jeans on!”
“I don’t care. I can support you better from this side, and make sure you don’t pitch forward.”
Kevin has now stepped into the tub, and his arms are stretched out ready to help me in. I smile and take both of his hands. I ease one foot up and over the ledge, and it’s not too bad. When I lift my left foot to get in, on the other hand, I take a stutter step towards Kevin.
“Oh boy, this sucks,” I say, letting out a puff of air.
I can’t look at Kevin’s face. I know he is feeling guilty, and I can’t bear to see it right now, or at all for that matter. My body gives out, unable to lift the left side, and I fall limply forward. Not surprised, Kevin has caught me and isn’t moving either me or himself.
“Let me know when you are ready to move,” he says, softly kissing my hair.
“I don’t think I can,” I laugh out of pain.
“Alright . . . Well, you are halfway in, so . . . trust me, love. Okay.” With one more kiss to my hair, he wraps his arms around my waist as lightly as possible and lifts me up the little bit I need to get the rest of me into the tub. After some oohs and owws, I am sitting in my tub on my right side. Some water has splashed onto my face, and my eyes start to burn and sting instantly.
“Kev, my eyes. What is in this water?” I ask, spitting the little bit of water out of my mouth.
“Epsom Salt. I knew you were going to be sore from the ride, but I had no idea you were going to be thrown. I don’t have anything for that. You just have to rest and take it easy some. Hopefully, the salt will take some soreness away,” he says, shrugging his shoulders, sitting down on edge of the tub, and leaning his back against the wall.
“Rest and take it easy? Kevin. I am leaving the day after tomorrow. You do know that, right?”
“Of course I know that. That thought hasn’t left my mind since you got here,” he says, and I see his exhaustion from today settling in.
“Get in here with me. You might be sore too, you just don’t know it yet because you are too busy worrying about me,” I say and scoot over, so I show him all the room he will have.
“No, love. You relax in there by yourself.” And with that, he closes his eyes, gets up, and walks out of the bathroom. I can hear him walking around, and then as he is walking down the stairs. The sound system turns on, and our friends from the other night are playing softly while I sit back and try to get in some kind of comfortable position that doesn’t make me want to cry.
Kevin didn’t come back up when the water started to get a little chilly, so with a towel handrail, and me biting my bottom lip so hard I think I drew blood, I got out of the tub by myself. I dry myself off and do an inventory of my busted up body. Sweet Lord, the bruises on my body would make a boxer cry. Although after getting out of the tub, I do feel a little more relaxed, so it definitely looks worse than it feels. I make my way over to my bag, but I can’t bring myself to bend down and go through it to find my pj's, so I hobble over to the chest, pull it open, and grab one of Kevin’s t-shirts. I love that smell of his. I am going to miss it.
With the realization of leaving in a couple of days, I take another one of his t-shirts, make my way bac
k to my bag, and shove it into the side pocket. I don’t care how much pain I put myself in. I want a shirt with me for a couple of weeks while I try to get over him, again.
I look at the stairs and battle inside my head whether or not I can get down them by myself.
But like I told Rose, we are drawn to each other and the distance is killing me. I take it step by step, quietly and carefully, down ‘till I reach the bottom, thank, God.
When I get into the hall, I hear Kevin talking in the distance, and I know he is in the kitchen. I bypass all the squeaky parts of the hardwood as to not give away that I’m trying to sneak up on him.
“Yeah, Rose, she’s fine . . . Yeah, Frank checked her out, told me what to look out for, and ways I can make her comfortable . . . She’s in the bath now . . . No, you don’t have to. I already called them. I just got off the phone with Mike . . . Dammit, Rose, she is still going to leave . . . day after tomorrow . . . Yes, I’ve told . . . Yes, I’ve asked her. She sidestepped it when I brought it up, and rather than have it out again, I said let’s take a break from the subject, so we could go riding, and that went so well.” He sighs into the phone. “I just don’t think I can bring it up again and see that look on her face. FUCK ME, ROSE! This is too hard . . . It’s just too fucking hard.” His words are accompanied by sniffs.
“Yeah, I know . . .” His voice is cracking, and my hand covers my mouth.
You’re up next, tears. Get ready.
“I don’t want to lose her again. You saw me last time . . . Exactly . . . Well, I can’t make her stay, can I. So I let her go? . . . Yeah, guess so . . . Yeah, alright. Everything set for tomorrow? Okay . . . Yeah, I will . . . I’ll let her know . . . Love you too, chick. Later.”
I hear the phone on the counter and a thud on the floor. I chance peeking into the kitchen.
Well, I was not prepared for this today. Kevin is on the floor and is leaning his back against the cabinet with his head in his hands. His shoulders move up and down every now and then. I cover my mouth again and lean back to my hiding spot against the wall. I close my eyes tightly hoping that I didn’t just see that.
What have I done to him? And what the hell has he done to me for that matter? I’ve been reduced to a bruised, crying mess since I came here. Granted, the bruises weren’t his fault, and the crying was half my fault, but dammit. Seeing men cry takes it out of me and makes me cry, not because I think men shouldn’t cry or that they are pussies if they do, but because men don’t cry that much and when they do, it means they are really hurting and have no other way to express it. So, yeah. I am blaming these tears all on Kevin. Christ, that’s not fair.
I wipe my eyes–It’ll do no good because he knows what I look like when I cry–and I step quietly through the kitchen door.
I don’t say anything. I just stand there awkwardly because of the beating I took and wait for him.
He squeezes his eyes with his thumb and index finger and sniffs. When he gets up, he lets out an inhale and then looks towards the door.
And here I am, half naked, and crying my almighty eyes out. God, I hate crying. I hate the way I look when I cry, but I just stand there. I don’t go to him because I just can’t.
He doesn’t look embarrassed at all. He just looks at me, drops his shoulders, and walks over to where I am. Slowly, he folds his arms around me, and I put my right arm over his shoulder, and we just stand there and cry together. This is a lot harder than I ever thought it was going to be, and I am not even leaving yet. Jesus Christ, what the hell have I done?
“I’m so sorry, Kevin,” is all I can think of to say. What else do you say?
“Fuck, May. I did NOT think it was going to be this way. I thought that you would come here, and we would have fun, and at the end of the week, I could let you go. But I don’t think I can now. I’m the one who’s sorry. Actually, I’m not. You’re the one. I knew when I met you months ago that you were the one and only for me. And I have to let you go . . . again,” he says into my hair.
“I should go now,” I say, pulling on his shirt to let me go.
“If you think I am letting you leave when you can hardly walk, you are outside your mind, love,” he says with a little laugh.
I laugh to myself but stop quickly.
“See, you can’t even laugh. Jesus, you are a mess,” he says, kissing my forehead. “Let’s get you upstairs and in bed, babe. Can you make it?” He is back to being worried about little ole bruised as a peach me.
“Sounds like a plan. Why does your room have to be up a flight of stairs?” I groan as we walk me to the door.
“Sorry, didn’t know you were going to be almost immobile when I built it ten years ago,” he says, laughing a little louder now.
We reach the stairs, and we both look up them like they are a mile long. Looking at one another, we both smile a painful smile. Well actually, mine is painful; his is a sympathetic smile.
We take the stairs one at a time with me hanging on to Kevin for dear life. He takes it like a champ, and when we get to the top, he doesn’t let go. He stops and listens. “First love song” plays on the sound system. I didn’t know how to turn it off.
“I know you hurt, love, but we won’t ballroom dance it.” He turns into me, and we are swaying closely to each other to the music and to another song he has given to me. I lift my left arm. It hurts, but not touching him fully while we dance hurts more. I get it up on his shoulder, and he looks at me and just pulls me closer.
“I can’t imagine not doing this with you whenever I want, May.” He digs his face into my neck. I can’t say anything because I feel like I am just going to make it worse. So instead, I take my hand and rub up and down the back of his head trying to sooth him as much as I can in my state.
Shit.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Waking up the next morning wasn’t nowhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be. After the dance we shared, Kevin laid me down in bed and rubbed me from head to toe with some lotion he says soothes aches and pains from riding.
Well, it seems to have to worked because I feel like a completely new person. A lot of the minor soreness is gone. The key points, being my shoulder, elbow and hip, are all still sensitive to the touch. I get out of bed with relative ease, and I am glad for it. It’s my last day, and I can’t spend it in bed when I want to spend every second I can with him.
I make my way downstairs again, step by step slowly, just in case, and I hear a lot of voices talking and laughing.
Thanking God I got dressed this time before I came down, I walk into the living room and see everyone sitting there talking over coffee. Mike, Joe, Rose, Kevin, and Erin from a couple of nights ago are all sitting in the living room. When Rose sees me walk in, she jumps up and comes over to me.
“Jesus, May. How are you feeling? Kevin called us all and told us what happened. We are so glad you didn’t get hurt worse . . . Come sit down and rest.”
I pass Kevin, and he gives me a kiss good morning and helps me to the spot on the couch where Rose was sitting. Joe and Mike both get up to give me careful hugs, and Erin holds my hand saying how I’m very lucky.
“Kevin told us that you fell like a champ, better than any one of us has ever fallen. Maybe you should teach a class or something,” Mike says with a laugh and slaps Joe on the back.
“I didn’t fall too badly that one time,” Joe says quietly.
“I guess I was lucky. What in the world are all y’all doing here?” I ask, still a little overwhelmed.
“We know it’s your last day, and we wanted to see you before you go. We called Kevin, and we came up with some stuff to do today . . . if you are feeling up to it,” Rose says excitedly.
I look to Kevin who was sitting in a chair, but he is now gone from his seat and is messing around with something in the kitchen.
Oh.
I know what he is doing. He’s putting everyone around, so it won’t be so hard for him when we have to say goodbye tomorrow. Well, that fucking hurts.
“Nothing. I’m just touched y’all wanted to hang out before I left . . . That’s awesome . . . What are we doing today?” I say, trying to be upbeat and ready for anything.
“Kevin said how much you loved the waterfront, so we thought we would make a day of it . . . if you are sure you can handle it?” Rose says so sweetly.
“Of course! It’s so beautiful there. And I love all the vendors. Maybe I will pick up more than one thing this time,” I say, smiling.
“What did you get last time?” Rose asks.
I hold up my ring, and she takes my hand and holds it all the way up to her eye. She drops my hand and her mouth hangs wide open.
“You okay?” I laugh.
“You don’t know? Kevin! Why didn’t you tell her?” she asks loudly.
“Tell her what?” he calls back after taking a sip of his Pepsi. He walks back into the living room holding another cup and hands it to me. I look in the cup to make sure it’s Pepsi. It is, and I smile up at Kevin. He turns to sit back in his seat.
“That she bought a ring from your grandma?” Rose says, looking at him like he is just stupid.
“Wait . . . What? Your grandma is the vendor I bought my ring from? You had to have recognized the work. Wait . . . You did recognize it the other night when you saw it. Why didn’t you tell me?” I feel kind of put off that he knew and didn’t tell me. What an ass.
“I didn’t think it was important,” he answers, looking at the ring on my hand.
“Wow, Kev. I would’ve liked to have known that. What the hell?” I am a little pissed, but I’m not a hundred percent sure why yet.
He doesn’t say anything back. Instead he gets back up and says, “Let’s get this show on the road.”
No one says a word until Rose stands up and says, “Yeah, let’s get to it!”
Then everyone shrugs off the weird moment and gets up and starts to head out of the door. I take a little extra time getting there, obviously, so by the time I get down the front steps, everyone is in the cars and trucks and has already started to head down the driveway.
Need You, Need Me (The Need Series Book 1) Page 21