Even after I'd closed my closet door, the air was still heavy with the scent of her perfume. It made me ache with nostalgia until I couldn't take it another second.
My dad was back on the couch watching a football game.
"I'm going out!" I said, which had become synonymous for I'm taking the truck.
"Already? But you just got here. Do you know when you'll be back?"
"Don't wait up," I replied, smirking to myself. It was what I used to tell my mom all the time, which he'd know if he'd been around.
I didn't know where I was going, just that I had to get away. I drove aimlessly for a while before I realized I was going in circles. When my stomach rumbled and I realized that I hadn't eaten anything all day, I pulled in to Ms. Daisy's diner. We used to come here all the time, before the divorce. After that…
Like most of the town, it didn't look like it had changed one iota. If the bright yellow paint had been retouched since I'd moved away, I couldn't tell. When I walked in I saw the familiar tattered red booths and inhaled the mouth-watering smells of frying bacon, greasy burgers and even greasier fries. It smelled like Heaven to me.
"Well, look who done finally come to say hello!" Ms. Daisy herself was moving around the corner faster than I could react, pulling me into a bear hug. She was only 5'1 so I had half a foot on her, not that she seemed to notice. "I was wonderin' if you were ever goin' to get around to comin' by."
"Of course, Ms. Daisy. I—"
"Oh, you're busy, I know, I know. All you young'ins are these days. Let me get you a table. You look like you're starvin' to death, child! Hasn't that man been feedin' you, or is he still putting his grocery money on the ponies?" She laughed like it was no big deal, but I flushed in embarrassment. It sucked to have everyone know you came from shitty seed.
"I think I'll just go sit—"
"Well, look who it is!" she exclaimed as the bell above the door tinkled. "Joshua Black! Speaking of folks who never come 'round to see me—"
"Hello, Ms. Daisy. I've been working too hard, but I couldn't stop thinking about that apple pie of yours, so I thought I'd drop by." He walked up and dropped a kiss on her cheek.
She walked back around the counter, mumbling something about people only liking her cooking, but her eyes were sparkling.
"You could charm the devil right out of his pants, couldn't you?" I marveled, once again speaking before I thought better of it.
"I don't know, does the devil wear pants?"
Instantly, a picture of my dad sprang to mind and I had to grin. "Most of the time, yes."
"Good to know." He was smiling politely, but I could see that he wanted to get to a table.
"Well, it was great running into you again…"
"You too." With that, he turned and walked away to an empty booth while I watched shamelessly.
The man had a nice pair of legs, no doubt about it. Not to mention those large, broad shoulders. It was enough to make a girl get all shivery.
"What's this?"
I hadn't realized I'd been lost in thought until Ms. Daisy came back around the corner with a full pie tin.
"You can't sit alone," she admonished. "C'mon, darlin'."
"No, it's okay," I tried to protest, but it fell on deaf ears. I tried to dig my heels in, but despite her short stature, she was strong as an ox. In no time, she'd pulled me over to Josh's table.
"Here's your pie, Joshua. I told Shelly here to sit with you." She gave me a gentle push and begrudgingly, I sat.
"Thank you for thinking of me." He glanced at me with a smile before winking at her. "On both counts."
Thinking he was making fun of me, I scowled at him, but he pretended not to notice as he served himself a huge slice of apple pie.
"Do you like à la mode?"
"I'll get y'all some ice cream," Ms. Daisy put in before I could answer. "Strawberry?"
"Sounds good."
"Strawberry?" I echoed as she walked away. "With apple pie?"
"I'm guessing by that tone that you've never tried it. Why don't you wait until you do to pass judgment?"
"And I'm guessing you get your rocks off telling other people what to do."
Both of his dark brows rose in surprise. "Is that so?"
My cheeks blazed with warmth at the warning swirling in his dark eyes. "It seems to be, yeah."
"Well then, allow me to offer an insight of my own: you put your foot in your mouth more than any woman I've ever met. Even though it seems to embarrass you, you still keep doing it. Why is that, I wonder? Do you just not care what other people think?"
Wow, is that what he thought of me? Of course I cared. I cared way too much for my own liking, but that didn't mean that I could stop. "Just because I'm not the same teenager you can melt with a look doesn't mean I don't care."
"Excuse me?"
I rolled my eyes at him. "Never mind."
"Do you like being difficult, Michelle?" He was leaning across the table, his eyes locked on mine in a way that made my heart slow.
I was entranced by him, even when he talked to me in that deliberate, firm tone.
"Maybe I need to teach you what I do to little girls who are difficult."
I laughed, but it came out sounding hollow and nervous. "I'm a grown woman, Mr. Black."
He grinned, seeming unperturbed by my sassy tone. "I prefer Principal Black, if you please."
I titled my head to the side, brushing away the blond hair that fell over my eyes. "Maybe I'll just call you professor."
"My students don't even call me that," he answered with a laugh.
"Your students?"
"I also teach high school history."
"Oh. Have you not been able to find anyone yet?"
"I'm not looking for anybody. The truth is, I like teaching. I was a history teacher for six years before I became principal. I took a year off to get familiarized with the new position, but I missed it."
"Really?" I asked dubiously.
"Really," he echoed, his grin widening.
"So you never left Pike County?" I asked, quickly doing the math.
"No. I drove an hour every day to go to a local college close by and then started work at the high school shortly after graduation. There are some perks to living in a small town—being able to find a job was one of them."
Just then, Ms. Daisy returned with the ice cream. Without a word, she cut me a slice of pie, plopping a large scoop on top before sliding the bowl toward me. She added a new slice to Josh's half-eaten one and added ice cream for him as well. "If you two need anything else, just holler."
"Here, try this. It's the only Heaven here on Earth that fits on a spoon."
I giggled, intrigued enough to open my mouth when he slid the spoon in my direction. He'd gotten a dollop of ice cream on the warm pie and to my surprise, it really was delicious. "Mmm."
"See? I told you. You really should trust me more."
My eyes flew to his face, sure that he was teasing me again. Yet, I saw nothing but sincerity there. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him why I should trust him when I swallowed the words back. "Do you ever regret not living anywhere else?"
"No, not really. It's a cute little town. I like it here. I grew up here, my parents and brothers still live here. I've got a good job. And what about you? You came back, after all."
"Not by choice," I muttered. I regretted it immediately, because I really didn't want to talk about it. I stuffed a forkful of dessert in my mouth to avoid having to answer the questions I was sure would be forthcoming.
"Well, did you like North Carolina?"
I almost choked on my ice cream. It never occurred to me that Joshua Black would know where I'd been living for the past nine years. It had never occurred to me that he would think about me at all. "Uh, yeah. It was…nice."
"Nice?" he echoed, looking as though he knew exactly what effect he had on me. "So nice that you lived there for almost a decade?"
It wasn't any of his business, really, and I would have said
so, except that his interest fascinated me. "Well, I went to college, of course, and after that…I met someone. We were together for a while."
"Not now?" he asked with nothing more than casual interest.
"No. Not now." I gave him a ghost of a smile as my heart constricted painfully. I didn't want to think about Ben right now.
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Don't be," I replied, eating another bite of pie and ice cream and praying he'd change the subject.
"I think you'll like being back here."
"It's amazing how much everything has stayed the same," I admitted with a giggle. "I don't think Daisy has changed this place one bit."
"Thank God," he said with an exaggerated moan as he took another bite of his dessert.
"I never knew you had such a sweet tooth."
"I always have dessert first. What if I suffer a heart attack before the meal's over? At least I'll go happy."
Shaking my head, I laughed at him again. "Well, it is good."
"I'm glad we'll be working together. Pike County High has a great faculty, you'll love them."
"Well, what else would you expect the principal to say?" I said, only half-kidding.
"I'll never lie to you, Shelly."
It sounded so sweet on his lips, I forgot to correct him.
He reached across the table and took my hand, looking me straight in the eye. "And I expect the same courtesy. So, for example, next time I ask you if I woke you, if the answer is yes, you need to be honest with me."
I flushed from the roots of my hair down to the tips of my toes. I hadn't been caught in a lie since…well, since high school. "I just—"
"No excuses," he cut me off firmly, giving my hand a squeeze. "Understand?"
I could have demanded to know what right he had to boss me around, I could have told him to shove his orders where the sun didn't shine, but the only thing that came to my lips was, "Yes, sir."
"Would you be interested in grabbing coffee sometime?"
It was the first thing Ben had ever said to me and suddenly, his face that had been hovering on the fringes the whole time came hitting me full force. He'd just so happened to be in the same elevator with me and he'd asked me out to coffee. We were together for six years. I can't do this. It was too soon. "I'm sorry," I pulled my hand away. "I don't think that would be a good idea."
Time seemed to grow wings and fly away until I was flipping the calendar to the month of August. My dad and I had managed to work out a tentative truce that mostly revolved around me staying out as much as possible. Still, there were moments when I almost felt myself forgetting that I'd vowed to hate him down to my last breath.
I only saw Josh occasionally and while he always polite, I sensed that he still hadn't forgiven me for turning him down. Just the sight of his tall, well-defined body and chiseled profile was enough to make my heart speed up. Every time I got a whiff of his masculine, seductive scent, I felt lightheaded. Hearing his deep, sexy voice was enough to make me want to curl up next to him and spend the rest of my life listening to him. So why had I turned him down for coffee? It was a question I'd been asking myself a lot lately.
The truth was, I'd been scared. We weren't in high school anymore, but there was a part of my heart that would always belong to my first real crush. It didn't take much for me to remember the heartbreak of feeling ignored and undesirable and a part of me couldn't help but wonder if that's where I'd end up again. I couldn't risk it. After my breakup with Ben—one that I was by no means completely recovered from—my heart couldn't take another big blow. This time, it just might shatter for good and I wanted to get out of Pike County in one piece.
Still, I couldn't help but feel butterflies of nervousness—and something else, perhaps—as I got dressed that morning. It was the first day of school, which was nerve wracking all on its own, but I doubted I'd be able to avoid Josh for much longer considering we'd be working together.
I took my time going over my outfit that morning, trying to convince myself that I was doing it for the kids I'd be meeting. I'd met their parents at the back to school conference, so I already knew that I had a class of fourteen; eight boys and six girls, which according to the other Kindergarten teacher I met, Julia Cobb, was a bad omen.
"You don't ever want to have more boys than girls," she'd told me with a shudder.
I'd laughed it off nervously, hoping that she was wrong in my case, but as I got dressed that morning my stomach was a pit of twisting, anxious nerves for more reasons than one.
"I'll find out soon enough," I muttered to my reflection, giving myself a quick once-over. I'd wound my dirty blond hair into a loose bun, my thick tresses framing my face. My eyes were sparkling with a mixture of nervousness and excitement. The butterflies in my stomach made the clock turn back until it almost felt like it was my first day of school. I wondered if my new students were feeling that way right now. For most of them, it would be their first day ever, a fact I was trying to keep in the back of my mind so that I would be patient with them.
Twenty minutes later I pulled into the school parking lot. I was ten minutes early, by my clock, yet it was already full to bursting with cars. I felt more than a little embarrassed by the dusty condition of my own, and vowed to ride through a carwash that afternoon. I was hoping that I could save most of the money I earned over the school year so I could pay off my two maxed out credit cards, get my car to the shop and find an apartment in a neighboring town. It was a tall order, but I was determined to get away as soon as I could. I couldn't go a day without someone stopping me to talk about my mom or make a joke about my dad and it all just hurt too much.
Despite the packed parking lot, the halls were relatively empty and I powerwalked to my classroom. I was moving down the hallway when I stopped short. Josh's body was framed in the doorway of my classroom. He looked nonchalant leaning against the door, clearly waiting to see me.
"Did you just get here?" he asked with a lifted brow.
There it was, that bossy voice of his again. A smart retort rose to my lips, but I bit it back just in time. "Yes. I'm early," I defended myself.
"Early enough to get everything set up for the day?"
I knew it was rhetorical, so I didn't trouble to answer. Instead, I motioned him away from the door and unlocked it. To my surprise and irritation, Josh followed behind me, inviting himself in. I did my best to ignore him and walked to the counter, beginning to get my papers and lesson plan for the day in order.
"There's a reason your handbook says to arrive at seven when school starts at seven-thirty, Michelle."
My back was to him as I sighed heavily, making my blond bangs fly up. "I'll make sure to remember that."
"Please be sure that you do." Without another word, he let himself out.
I had been flustered enough already seeing that I was likely the last to arrive. Having it pointed out to me by the principal no less—by Josh, who made me jittery every time he walked into a room—didn't help any. I was still going through a list of things to do today—since it was the first day, a lot of it would involve introducing the children to one another—when the first parent and child came in.
"Good morning, Ms. Johnson."
I turned to face them and was relieved to recognize Beverly Smith, who I'd met during the back to school conference. Sometimes I struggled with names, so it came as a relief to remember. "Hello, Mrs. Smith. How are you and Buddy doing this morning?"
"Buddy, say hello to your teacher," his mother prompted, tugging on his hand.
"Hey," he mumbled before yanking his hand out of her grasp and walking off to the box of blocks in the corner. He plopped down in front of them and happily began building.
"Buddy, come back here and say hello properly!"
"It's okay," I hurried to assure her. "Really. We're going to have a great day together." It was a line I'd rehearsed in front of the mirror this morning, and I was proud that my voice didn't quiver with the doubt I felt as I said it.
; Mrs. Smith didn't even seem to be listening to me. Instead, she was watching her son, her lips pursed. "Listen, Ms. Johnson… Buddy has a certain issue I'd like to make you aware of."
"Oh?" I felt my pulse pick up speed and the nervousness in my belly intensified. I didn't remember her mentioning any "issue" during the conference, which was when she should have told me.
"Yes, well, he's been going through a nose-picking phase and we've been trying to discourage it at home, so if you could just ignore it, you know, not draw any attention to it, I think that would help."
I noted her strained smile and tried to look reassuring—even though what I really wanted to do right then was run out the door screaming. "I'm sure it will be fine, but thank you for telling me."
She looked like she wanted to say more, but at that moment more parents and children began to file in. She blew a kiss to Buddy and murmured a quick "goodbye" to me before she left. I tried to fight back my panic at the sudden onslaught of people, trying—and failing—to greet everyone by name. I managed to remember all the kids, so that was still a win, right?
"We've really got to get started," I said as one last anxious parent cornered me.
"Oh, I understand. Just one quick thing: it would really help if you could treat Chelsea and Damien as individuals. Being twins, sometimes people tend to treat them the same and of course they've both got their own personalities."
I gave her a bewildered look, glancing at the table where Chelsea and Damien were sitting quietly. They didn't even look alike, not to mention the fact that one was a boy and one was a girl. She did know that, right? "I don't think that'll be a problem. We're going to have a great day together."
Once I'd finally managed to usher all the parents out, I realized I didn't have a clue what to do next. I turned to find fourteen pairs of solemn eyes watching me. The kids seemed excited to be in school, which was a strong contrast to what I was feeling at the moment. "Hi, everyone. I'm Ms. Johnson and I'll be your teacher this year." I paused, but there was no reaction, except some blinking. They didn't look overly impressed. "Why don't we go around the room and you can tell me your names?"
"You already know our names," one little boy, Sean, piped up.
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