“Yes.”
“If you have no other questions?” The doctor waited.
Alex was certain he’d have questions later, but they could wait. A nurse appeared and Alex followed her through a short maze of corridors, pausing outside of a closed door. Lauren had been moved to a private recovery room in the maternity ward.
“She’s in here.” The nurse held the door open so that Alex could enter. As he stepped into the dimly lit room, he saw Lauren immediately. Even in the low light, he could tell she was sleeping. He stepped closer. How pale her skin looked!
But her breathing was steady and Alex assumed that was a good sign. He stood by her bedside and assessed how fragile she appeared. He’d never seen her like this—helpless and weak. Lauren had been raised in some of the harshest areas of the world. She’d grown up a fighter.
He brushed her blond hair away from her face. She didn’t stir and as he stood there, an unknown, raw emotion powered its way through him. He’d failed her, failed to keep her safe. In doing so, he’d failed not only his brother, but he’d failed himself.
“Oh, agapi mou. I’m sorry,” he said.
Never before had his knees weakened, but now he slumped down into the sterile armchair beside her. He should have done more. Done it sooner. Should have bullied her if necessary. Fought her every inch of the way. Someone had to take care of her. After Christopher’s death, Alex should have stepped in sooner. All he had for his failure were words. Weariness filled him. “I’m sorry, koukla mou. I’m so sorry.”
#
The first thing Lauren sensed when she regained consciousness was that something was missing. Her head hurt, her mouth felt dry and cottony and…
Without even opening her eyes, Lauren’s fingers flew to her stomach. She pressed and realized her stomach was flatter than it had been in months. Nothing kicked. Nothing bulged against her skin. There were no sensations. The baby was gone.
“Shh,” an unfamiliar voice said. Lauren felt a cool damp cloth touch her head. “It’s nothing to worry about. You’ve been tossing and turning for a while. That’s not good for you. Everything is fine. The baby is just fine. Shh.”
Lauren tried to sit up but nothing in her body seemed to be working. Why couldn’t she move?
“Just relax. Everything’s okay,” the kind voice said. “I’m Sandra, your nurse. You’ve had a C-section and your body is still feeling the aftereffects. But don’t worry. You came through fine and are already healing.”
But Lauren knew she wasn’t. Terror consumed her. Her baby was gone. She struggled to her elbows but her stomach muscles refused to cooperate and Lauren found herself still lying flat on her back.
“My baby,” she croaked. Her dry mouth made it hard to speak. “I need to see…I want to see my baby.”
She felt the nurse’s fingers on her wrist as the nurse took her pulse.
“Of course you do. He’s a sweet little six-pound baby boy and he’s a good eater. Now if you don’t work yourself up, I can take you to him in a few minutes. You’ve just woken up from major surgery. You’ve been resting a long time but you are still very weak. You need all your strength.”
“I want to go now,” Lauren said stubbornly. She attempted to focus her eyes but failed for a few more moments. She’d always been terrible with anesthesia. She’d had her wisdom teeth out at age nineteen, and whereas she didn’t have any swelling, she’d hung her head out of her boyfriend’s car window like a dog the entire way home. Even her arms felt leaden. Lauren closed her eyes. “My baby,” she repeated.
“Is doing exceptionally well,” the nurse repeated. “Rest a bit more and I’ll take you to the NICU.”
She pronounced the word Nick-U.
“What’s that?” Lauren asked.
“The neonatal intensive care unit. Now don’t panic or try to sit up. You’ve had a major surgery. You’re fragile. You’ve only been on our floor about fourteen hours.”
Fourteen hours? Had she really been asleep that long? She vaguely remembered people waking her up and talking to her, but she had no idea what the conversations had been about.
Where was Alex? Had he taken her baby? Wasn’t that all the Pappas family really wanted was her child, the child that they believed was Christopher’s?
Instead of her baby being with her as she’d assumed would have happened after a normal delivery, Lauren’s baby was in the NICU. The nurse had said that the baby was fine, but Lauren knew that something must be wrong if her child was in the NICU.
Worse she was stuck here with her arms and legs feeling like they’d been glued down. At least she wasn’t drooling. Lauren forced her eyes to work and the hospital room came into focus. The nurse held a cup full of water to Lauren’s lips.
“I want to see my baby,” Lauren repeated.
The nurse smiled. “Of course you do. Drink up and I promise you will get to hold him. But you won’t be any good for your son if you collapse. I’ve got some crackers for you to eat until your breakfast arrives. That should be any minute. I chose your breakfast menu for you, but you can fill out your own lunch and dinner order. And I see that furrow in your brow. Now before you worry yourself into a tizzy, the NICU is just right down the hall.”
Lauren drank the water. “What time is it?” she finally asked.
“Eight a.m. Breakfast should be here soon,” the nurse said. “You’ve slept a long time, the whole night. That’s a good sign that you are on your way to a perfect recovery.”
It wasn’t a good sign. She’d collapsed yesterday afternoon. She’d been a long time without any contact. “My baby,” Lauren persisted.
“Right after breakfast,” the nurse promised as an orderly carried in a breakfast tray. “And don’t you worry. Your husband is with your son. Ah, and look. Here’s your doctor to check on you.”
The surgeon smiled at her. “Let’s take a look at that incision, shall we?”
It was about an hour later when the nurse finally wheeled Lauren to the NICU. The doctor had checked Lauren over and told her she was recovering well. The nurse had then insisted she eat. Although Lauren had little appetite and nothing looked tempting, she forced herself to drink her orange juice and eat her banana.
The nurse was correct—Lauren certainly didn’t want to collapse again. While she’d been eating, her son’s pediatrician had stopped by and explained RDS. Lauren understood what had happened, and why her baby wasn’t with her. It made her even more desperate to hold him.
“Your son is actually doing great,” the nurse said as she stopped the wheelchair outside of the NICU and had Lauren wash her hands. “I’m sure he’s excited to meet you.”
As they entered, the NICU was unlike anything Lauren had expected. It was a large room filled with multiple nurses’ stations—one nurse sat in the middle of four or five bassinet warming units. Everywhere one looked machines beeped and mothers in rocking chairs held and cooed at their babies. The room hummed with an overabundance of noise.
Lauren instinctively knew that there must be more than one NICU—nowhere in her field of view could she see any small, truly tiny at-risk babies.
The nurse handed Lauren a nametag and Lauren attached it to her gown. “Your nametag tells us at a glance exactly where in the room you are and exactly what medical condition your baby has. Now you are right over here. See? There’s your husband. He was with you in your room all night, coming here only when we let him in and only after we convinced him that you were fine. Your husband is very devoted and if I do say so, he’s wonderful with your son.”
Her husband. The nurse kept saying that. Had they finished the ceremony? Lauren couldn’t remember. Everything from yesterday was a blur.
She blinked, her gaze locating Alex easily. He sat in a wooden rocking chair, a small blanket-wrapped bundle pressed up to his chest. His sole concentration was on the baby and he hadn’t seen Lauren yet. Lauren held up her hand, stopping the nurse from wheeling her forward. She’d never seen Alex like this.
As much as she’
d dreamed or pictured the moment he’d hold their son, she’d never come close to the reality of what she beheld. For a brief moment she let the sight of Alex holding their son tug on her tender heartstrings. She’d always known that, despite his pure alpha male personality, he’d be a natural father. What she saw only confirmed it.
“So little man,” Alex was saying, “they tell me that you’re doing great. You probably worried your mother a great deal, but she’s tough. One of the toughest women I know. She stared a jaguar down once, I think. Ah, but maybe I don’t remember the story right. Maybe it was a big bear. You know, the kind that roars. You’ll have to ask her when you’re older. She’ll be here soon, I’m sure. I know she’s probably anxious to see you.”
“I am,” Lauren said and the nurse wheeled her forward.
Alex looked up, something new and unreadable in his dark eyes. “Look big guy, what did I tell you? Here’s your mom now.”
Lauren reached out her arms, and Alex leaned forward. His hands brushed hers and finally the soft, swaddled bundle rested in her arms.
She fingered the blanket so that she could see her son. All she could see was his little red face, the rest of him hidden underneath the small teddy bears decorating the receiving blanket. But seeing her son’s face, even with the oxygen tubes taped to it, was enough.
“He’s beautiful,” she said. “He’s so beautiful.” Her vision blurred and she began to cry.
“Shh, glykia mou,” Alex said. He rose out of the rocking chair and leaned over her wheelchair. The nurse discretely straightened out the baby’s tubes.
The baby opened his mouth and made a fish-like pucker movement before closing his mouth. His eyes remained tightly closed the entire time.
“Just watch him,” the nurse advised before she moved away. “He’s a feisty and strong and he keeps trying to remove his tubes. That’s why we have them taped to his cheeks.”
Lauren’s tears fell freely, and because her hands were full from holding her son, Alex took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped Lauren’s tears away.
“He’s so little,” she said, for nothing in her entire life had prepared her for the unbridled emotions flowing through her at this moment. She and Alex had created a little person, and the love emanating from her for this tiny vulnerable life form overwhelmed her. More tears came to her eyes. “I should have taken better care of myself; I should have… Oh, I’m so sorry my little one.”
Alex placed his forefinger under Lauren’s chin and gently tilted her face so she could see him. “Glykia mou, don’t cry. The nurses say he’s doing even better today than yesterday. He’ll be going home with us very soon.”
“I hope so.”
“He will.” Alex’s voice caught in his throat and he coughed to clear it. His eyes darkened. “He is beautiful. Christopher would be very proud.”
No, he wouldn’t. He would tell Lauren that Alex deserved to know the truth. He’d been here the entire time with her. A dark shadow of stubble graced his tired face and he wore the same clothes as he had at the judge’s office. He needed a shower and shave.
Seeing him like this caused more tears to spill down Lauren’s cheeks. Her baby’s nose barely wrinkled as a wayward teardrop touched his skin. She and Alex had created this tiny life. At one point, her son’s mom and dad had loved each other deeply. Why had things gone so wrong?
She moved the blanket, seeing the white heart monitor circles taped to his chest. Except for a diaper, her baby was naked, the monitors and tubes making wearing baby clothes impossible.
The nurse appeared again. “Time for a check,” she said simply. “It’ll only take a minute and I promise you can have him right back.”
Lauren’s arms felt barren the moment she passed her child over. When the nurse drew a blood sample by pricking the baby’s heel, Lauren winced.
Alex stepped behind the wheelchair and put his hands on Lauren’s shoulders. “Don’t fret, kopela mou. He’ll be back in your arms in just a moment. I’ve watched them work with him for hours now. Don’t worry. He’s getting excellent care.”
Lauren reached up, her right hand covering Alex’s. Gentle heat fused their hands together and provided solid comfort. At times like this Alex could be solid as a rock, and she felt comforted that he was here.
She sighed and turned her head so that her cheek rested on their joined hands. Guilt crept in. Alex used to be her refuge, her haven. She’d been wrong to keep the truth from him. She’d been so wrong. She should tell him. He had the right to know about his son.
A movement far away at NICU doorway caused Alex to stiffen. Lauren straightened and turned her head. Theo. She shuddered. She should have guessed.
Alex removed his hand and stepped away, the tender moment between them shattering into a million irreparable pieces.
“Stay and hold the baby. It’s good for him. The nurse will wheel you back to your room whenever you are ready. I have business problems that I have to deal with, but I promise I’ll come back to see you both as soon as I am able.”
Lauren averted her face. Always business, always promises. Despite the room’s perfect climate control, a cold chill enveloped Lauren and grabbed her heart like a tight fist. She’d been wrong a few moments ago when she’d questioned whether she should tell Alex truth.
She could not let what had to be simply postpartum blues color reality. Business came first for Alex. While he may have cared for her once, she only mattered now because she was the mother of a Pappas baby. She watched as Alex strode to the doorway, signed out, and disappeared with Theo.
The nurse finished the natal check and brought Lauren’s baby back over to her. She smiled and lowered the baby into Lauren’s arms. “He’s doing so much better. You’ll both be going home before you know it. You’ll see.”
Lauren turned her attention to the tiny bundle of life in her arms.
She glanced at the door and forced herself to relax so that her son didn’t feel her frustration. Taking care of herself and her baby was the important thing.
Despite seeing Alex being paternal, Lauren couldn’t let down her guard. She could not let his actions in of the last twenty-four hours color her perceptions or weaken her resolve. She could not tell him the truth or fall in love with him. And she certainly could not let herself, even for a moment, pretend they were a real family.
She was a mother, the one most responsible for the innocent, defenseless child she held in her arms.
She could not afford the risk.
*****
Chapter Seven
When Alex returned to the hospital, Lauren’s maternity room remained empty. Instead he found her still in the NICU, the baby snuggled to her chest. She’d moved into the rocking chair, and the wooden runners glided easily as she rocked back and forth.
A lump formed in his throat as strong feelings powered through him, feelings he knew he had to repress. While Lauren Andrews would be his wife, the child she cradled and loved wasn’t his son.
“You’re back,” Lauren said as she saw him. Tiredness etched her face. “Your business wasn’t that important?”
“Someone is buying up the Pappas Foods stock. Today I managed to purchase it first.”
“Oh.”
He studied her. “You look tired. The doctor said you shouldn’t overexert yourself.”
“I’m fine,” Lauren said.
“Fine.” Alex scoffed at the word, for he was tired of hearing it. “You always say that and every time it’s a lie. You are not fine. You’ve had major surgery. The muscles in your stomach have been sewn back together and don’t work properly. You are definitely not fine.”
“I am not your concern.”
Fire lit her blue eyes. The fighter was back and ready for battle. Well, so was Alex.
“No, you’re wrong. I have every right. You will be my wife. Christopher’s son will call me father.”
He calmed himself. While he needed to convince her, harsh words in the NICU were not appropriate. He dropped his volume.
“I am not the evil man you make me out to be. You meant something to me once. This situation has shown me that life is fragile. First my brother dies and then his son enters the world harshly. You have had enough stress. Let me take on some of it.”
“Why?”
At least she hadn’t said no. “I’m concerned about you. I care about your welfare. Hell, I loved you.”
The baby’s face puckered and he began to whimper. Lauren bent her head, hiding her face. “Shh. You’re upsetting him.”
Alex tossed his hands up in the air. “I didn’t mean to upset him. This situation is not easy for me. That was to be our son. This isn’t the future I envisioned either.”
She ran her hands over the baby’s back. “I know.”
When she glanced up he saw fresh tears in her eyes. He frowned.
“But please, Alex, don’t pretend that we are more important to you than business. You’ve done your duty and I will marry you as I agreed when you came to rescue me. But Theo’s appearance at the NICU today simply proves that business remains your number one priority. It always has been that way, and there’s no need to start pretending otherwise now. I can’t risk depending on you and then you aren’t there.”
“I had an important meeting or I never would have left your side. My family is fighting a takeover. I never wanted the company public in the first place. That was all Spiro.”
Lauren tightened her hold on the baby. “You always have reasons.”
He laughed at the bitter irony that faced him. “It is almost as if you want to be more important to me. Do you? Do you ache for what we had? Do you wish that was my son you hold? Do you look around this room and see other couples who obviously love each other and want what they have, a bond to get them through all their trials?”
Lauren bit her lip.
Alex felt his gut wrench. The word weapons he’d thrown at her had injured him as well.
The Greek Billionaire's Secret Baby (Contemporary Romance) Page 7