“Mayonnaise, salt, pepper, basil.”
“Ugghhh,” Eli groaned.
Chris looked at Beatrice pleadingly. “Do we have to eat it?”
“You should try it, but if you really don’t like it, you can eat something else,” she said.
“I like hot dogs,” Eli said.
“Taste the ribs first. I bet they’re gonna be good,” Beatrice said, picking up a field cucumber and cutting it.
Rand proudly said, “I tested them already. Incredible. Don’t worry, Chris. Everything is good.”
“I love it all!” Chris grinned.
As Beatrice went back to preparing the cucumber, Laura explained that Rand grew heirloom tomatoes, field cucumbers, zucchini, green beans and herbs in his yard. She pointed to a small storage shed in the back.
“Behind the shed is his garden. It’s not big and if he has to leave town, I come over and harvest the vegetables.”
“Really? I had no idea he had a green thumb. I have a pioneer garden for the kids at the camp.”
“Rand told us all about your camp,” Cassie said. “I never went to a place like that.”
“That’s right,” Laura said. “You were too busy helping us wash and fix the cars. As I remember it, you didn’t want to do anything that didn’t involve an engine.”
“I’m still that way,” Cassie said.
Beatrice finished peeling and slicing the cucumber. “What do you do?”
“I own the Harley-Davidson store here in Indian Lake.”
Beatrice put down the paring knife. “You own it?”
“Oh, yes,” Laura said. “She’s quite successful. A born saleswoman.”
“At least I’m not a lineman like David or a tree climber like Jonas.”
“I heard that,” Jonas said, as he walked over with a tray of icy glasses. “Tree surgeon,” he said. “I don’t do the climbing. Ed is the climber. He can shimmy up a tree faster than anyone I’ve ever seen.” Jonas handed Beatrice and each of the boys a glass. “Lemonade.”
Chris took a big slug. “This is really good!”
“I like it, too.” Eli smiled between sips.
“Thanks,” Laura said. “I make it from fresh lemons the way my mother did. Real sugar, too. No aspartame.”
“What’s that?” Eli asked.
“Something you’ll never find at our camp.”
“Yeah,” Chris said. “It’s supposed to be bad for you.”
“How?” Eli asked. “Is it addictive?”
Rand stopped midmotion as he turned an ear of corn.
Before Beatrice could say a word, Rand jumped in. “They say it can cause cancer. Dangerous stuff.”
“Hmm. But not as dangerous as being a firefighter...” Chris mused.
Beatrice caught Rand’s sideways glance. “You know, Chris, I’m not the daredevil in the family. Ed is.”
Ed guffawed. “Not likely. You and the other jumpers worked nonstop for over thirty-two hours when you first got to Copper Country. I don’t know how you can stay awake that long much less have the physical endurance it took to fight the fires.”
“Yeah,” Jonas added. “Mom said she was crazy worried.”
Rand turned the corn. “I told her I was fine.”
Beatrice noticed that his eyes slid to her and then back to the corn. Even though he hadn’t told her he was fine, at least he was thoughtful enough to alleviate his mother’s fears.
Cassie licked salad dressing off her fingertip. “It was really lucky that tree missed you when it fell. And you were the only one who saw it coming when it rolled down the hill toward you and the other jumpers. Your warning shouts saved them. Boy, Rand, if it hadn’t been for your eagle eye and that sixth sense of yours, one of the other guys might have really been injured.”
Beatrice held her breath as if she was living the scenario in the forest all over again. She noticed that Chris’s and Eli’s eyes filled their faces as their attention went from Rand to Ed, then back to Cassie.
David joined in. “The delay in getting the tanker planes filled with water wasn’t good, either. Have you ever had to wait over twelve hours for them before?”
“Uh, no.” Rand checked the ribs and flipped them.
Ed and David continued talking about more of Rand’s exploits, both daring and dangerous, when he’d been in the Upper Peninsula.
Chris and Eli were spellbound. Beatrice didn’t know if they were reliving their own night of terror, or if their hero worship was being polished. Neither was advantageous for the boys. “Rand...” she said with more warning in her voice than she’d planned.
Rand slammed the grill hood, obviously taking her cue. “Okay, guys! Grub is ready. Get your plates and I’ll fill them.”
The conversation shifted to the food.
“About time,” David said as he grabbed his plate and went straight for the ribs.
“Hey!” Rand said. “The kids are first.” He handed them each a plate. “What would you like?”
“A hot dog,” Eli said.
Rand placed a grilled hot dog in a bun and put it on Eli’s plate. “What about you, Chris?”
“Can I have one of everything?”
Beatrice looked at Rand. Their eyes locked and they both broke out laughing.
“Of course you can, Chris,” she said. “Here, let me help you.”
“You guys sit over there at the table,” Rand said. “Mom will get you chips, baked beans. The works.”
Chris stared at his plate being piled with food. “Do you think I could learn to grill stuff like this?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“I never saw it done before,” Chris replied sadly. Then he raised his face to Beatrice. “This is almost as good as watching you make s’mores for us.”
“You know, Chris, you could become a chef someday. You just have to put your mind to it,” she said.
“I want to do all kinds of things. Just like Mr. Nelson.”
Beatrice glanced at Rand. She supposed to a young boy with few role models in his life, Rand seemed almost godlike.
And that was dangerous for both the boy and the hero should the god prove human.
As Beatrice helped the boys to the table she watched Rand joke with his brothers and sister; all of them acting as if he hadn’t nearly lost his life in the Copper Country fire. As she smeared mustard on Eli’s hot dog, her hand shook. Fear did that to her. Always had.
Rand hadn’t given her any details of the fire. She hadn’t been privy to special reports or the stories he’d shared with his family. Before he left, he’d deliberately pushed her away. He’d invited the boys to his barbecue, but she’d pushed her own way in. She’d forced him to include her. Had he suspected his family would talk about the fire and he didn’t want her to hear the truth?
But in the end, it wasn’t her pain that mattered. All she could see was heartbreak ahead for Eli and Chris.
She wasn’t about to let that happen.
* * *
“WOW,” RAND SAID as he came into the kitchen, where Beatrice was drying a stainless-steel pan. It was the first moment they’d had to themselves since she’d arrived at the barbecue. “You were a big hit with my family. They really like you.”
“I liked them all, too.” She put down the pan. “A lot. And so did the boys. You wanted Chris and Eli to experience how a loving family treats each other. Am I right?”
“Uh-huh. Is that bad?”
“No...”
“Look, Beatrice. If the boys are lucky enough to get adopted or at least be placed with a nice foster family, I thought they should see what family could be. Not that my family is perfect. The guys horse around a lot. And Cassie. Well, she’s just Cassie. You gotta love her. I do.”
“That’s the thing, Rand. The love you have for each other just flows out of you all wit
h no hesitation. Except...”
“Except for me?”
She lowered her head and put the towel over the pot. “Yes. As a matter of fact. Sometimes you can be so rigid. You wall yourself off. Why is that?”
He paused for a long moment as if considering a multitude of thoughts. When he faced her, she thought she’d never seen so much grief in a person’s eyes.
“Rand?”
“His name was Perry Shoal. And, Beatrice, his death was my fault. I was lax. I was less than the trainer I should have been. I saw it coming and I ignored my instincts. I can never forgive myself.”
“He’s the reason you insist on following the rules?”
“Yeah. He was a hothead. Arrogant. Self-centered and manipulative. During his first weeks in training, I thought it was a personality clash between us. I just couldn’t get through to him the importance of following regs. I pushed him. Tutored him. Gave him extra exercises. When he still flouted the rules, I wanted to assign him to a different trainer, but he begged me not to. He promised to improve and he did. He became an exemplary trainee. Or I thought he had.
“So when a fire broke out in the Idaho forest and the call came in for jumpers, Perry talked me into letting him go.”
Rand stopped and swallowed hard before continuing. “It was a demon of a fire. The winds shifted, locking us in. Regs say in that situation you stick together, but Perry panicked. He took off into the fire thinking he could escape. I was the one who found him.”
She grasped Rand’s hand and held it with both of hers. “Rand. It wasn’t your fault.”
His head jerked up. His eyes were hard. “Of course it was.”
“No. It wasn’t. He manipulated you into letting him go by pretending to respect the rules. You couldn’t have known that. He was probably the best option you had in that moment. You can’t go on blaming yourself for his death.”
“Sure I can.” Her eyes delved into his.
“That’s not what this is about at all, though, is it? You’re using his death to keep you from a life of your own. So long as you guard your emotions, lock them up and overcommit yourself to your job, you don’t have to feel anything.” She paused. “That’s why you pushed me away, and why someday soon you’ll do the same to Eli and Chris.”
“Stop. Okay?” He pulled his hands from her. “You’re a fine one to talk. Did you ever stop to think that you do the same thing? You’ve used your mother’s worries about dangerous careers and your father’s death to keep you from making choices, too.”
Her breath hitched. “I should get the kids and go,” she said, moving over to the counter where she’d laid her purse and keys.
He was accusing her of avoiding dreams? She’d been doing everything in her power to create a haven for kids...and herself—that was her dream.
But as her ire dialed down a degree, she saw the kernel of truth in what he said. Her issues with her parents had stuck her like porcupine quills and she used them to keep love away. Protection had been her modus operandi.
She lifted her purse strap to her shoulder. “Yeah. I guess I’m guilty as charged. You were right. We’re as wrong for each other as they come.”
“Yeah.”
His voice was low and she detected sadness in his tone, as if he didn’t like being right.
“Well, thanks for dinner. You’re a good cook.”
“Thanks.”
“I have to get the boys.” She turned away and waved over her shoulder so that he wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes. “Goodbye, Rand.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
RAND STARED AT the full moon once his family left, remembering Beatrice’s words. Her “goodbye” had had a finality that he didn’t like.
For the first time he felt a stinging void and he didn’t quite understand where it came from.
Maybe he had been using Perry’s death as an excuse to avoid making real choices about his life. Had he been guilty of slamming the wrong doors?
And in the process, he hadn’t moved a single foot toward his own future, either. He was stuck, and though he’d convinced himself that where he was in his life was as good as it got, lately, since Beatrice, things were different for him.
He knew his career was a deal-breaker for her and she’d never consider being with a firefighter, but each time he was with her, he got the impression that she was fighting her feelings for him. But he was fighting his feelings, too. And restraining himself around her was worse than battling a fire. He wanted to hold her. But that was out of the question.
And the kids had affected him, too. Seeing them today had lifted his spirits more than he’d expected.
Yep. They’d burrowed their way under his skin. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle it when they were finally placed in foster care.
The thought of the camp without Chris and Eli chilled him. To Rand, those two boys were as much a part of the youth camp as Beatrice. The camp was her soul. Rand saw that.
But something had happened to him when he’d been in Copper Country. He’d realized that joy could be found in a child’s smile. Joy was what Rand was missing in his life.
He swiped his face with his palm as his cat jumped into his lap. “Backdraft, where have you been?” He picked up the cat and leaned back in the Adirondack chair. “Prowling the neighborhood? Anyone catch your fancy?” He snuggled the ragdoll cat and massaged him behind his ears. “Boy, a couple of losers we are, huh?”
The cat meowed as if to answer him.
Just then, the terrier came through the doggy door.
“And Flint. I should have known you wouldn’t let Backdraft get all the attention.”
The dog barked and wagged his tail until Rand picked him up for a group cuddle. “Yeah. You guys like group hugs, huh?”
But as much as he loved his pets, the house seemed empty.
Rand heard rustling in his boxwood hedges. Then he heard another cat making sounds. “What’s this?”
Holding Backdraft under his right arm and Flint under his left, he went to the edge of the porch and peered into the dark flower bed. The cloud that had briefly covered the full moon drifted away. In the silver light, Rand spotted a slim calico cat staring up at him. Or rather, at Backdraft.
Backdraft squirmed and Rand put him down on the steps. The two cats scurried away to the far side of the house.
“I guess I’m not the only one feeling a bit lonely.”
Rand scratched Flint under the chin and then looked at his watch. It was only nine thirty. The building-and-plumbing supply store was open for another half hour. “I just might make it.”
He took Flint into the kitchen and put him on his doggy bed. “Be back after a while, buddy.”
Maybe he wasn’t Beatrice’s “forever guy,” but he could help her find a bit more stability. And for her, that started with easing some of her financial problems. Sure, he’d helped her a little, but had he gone the full nine yards?
No.
He could do more.
* * *
BEATRICE HAD CHECKED on all the kids to make sure the lights were out, and that no one was chewing gum or eating snacks after their teeth had been brushed. She stopped to say good-night to Cindy and Maisie. Bruce’s light had been out for half an hour. The dining hall and kitchen doors were locked tight. Windows were shut. All the motion-detector lights outside worked perfectly.
She hugged her arms around her as she climbed the steps to her cabin.
Once inside, she sat in the old upholstered chair she’d bought at a garage sale and stared at the empty fireplace. Five months from now, she’d need to fill the wooden crate with firewood to keep her warm through the winter. The counselors would be gone. Amanda would work for Olivia Barzonni and her mother’s catering company, keeping Amanda busy through the holidays. But the camp would be empty with no one around but Beatrice.
The
fireplace cavity yawned lonely and bleak.
It was difficult to plan for holidays without a family. Undoubtedly, Rand didn’t have such thoughts going through his head. His boisterous and loving family would have all kinds of plans that would include him.
Come to think of it, most of her friends in Indian Lake had a family or someone like family.
What was it that Mrs. Beabots had said? Friends like to know they’re needed.
Beatrice brightened a bit. Mrs. Beabots was right. Beatrice would call on her friends. Maybe she would have a gathering at the camp for all of them. Nothing fancy or extravagant, but she could certainly put together some punch, cake and homemade cookies for everyone.
She would make her holidays delightful not just for herself but for her friends as well.
She made up a guest list and wrote out a possible menu. Then she looked up a few recipes in a cookbook. Yawning, she got up, stretched and looked at the old clock on the fireplace mantel. It was after midnight.
“No wonder I’m tired,” she said and went to the casement window to open it and let in the cooler night air.
As she did, she heard a strange thudding sound.
“What in the...?”
She went to the cabin door.
Then she saw a flicker of lights through the apple trees and forsythia bushes.
She grabbed a flashlight and carefully closed and locked her cabin door behind her. She put the keys in her pocket.
The lights were from the headlights of a familiar black truck.
Rand was smoothing dirt over one of the trenches when she came around the trees and bushes. She shined her light in his face.
He put his dirty hand up to his eyes. “Turn that off.”
“It’s after midnight. What are you doing out here?” she demanded, dropping her arm but not turning off the flashlight.
“Installing pipe.”
She walked over to the edge of the open trench. Her flashlight glanced off the white PVC pipe in the ground. She gasped. “What is that?”
“High-grade PVC.” He kept shoveling.
“Rand.” She stared into the trench that was now outfitted with perfectly primed and glued long pieces of PVC pipe. “Where did it come from?”
Rescued by the Firefighter Page 17