by R. Mason
“I hope so. It’s not over yet.”
“It never is,” Dylan grinned, before saluting her and walking away down the road. He was a bundle of mysteries, that kid. Amethyst probably would’ve wanted to dig deeper if her best friend wasn’t currently in a self-created prison in her living room.
◆◆◆
They were watching the Wizard of Oz, Faye still in her blanket bundle, and Amethyst sat on the sofa stewing in her guilt, when her phone rang. Shooting Faye a look, Amethyst saw that she was still staring at the TV, so picked up. She got up and went into the kitchen to speak at a normal volume.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Amethyst,” Harper’s voice was on the other end, and Amethyst frowned. When did he get her number? “I’m outside yours. Come on.”
“I thought you were hanging out with Dylan?”
“Yeah, I was. He had to go home,” Harper sounded nonchalant, but there was a nervous edge to his voice, “I have something I wanted to show you.”
“Is it really important?” Amethyst looked over her shoulder to where Faye was sat, “I don’t want to leave Faye.”
“She’ll be fine,” Harper scoffed, “She’s safe, and you’re bored. Come on! It’ll be fun.”
“I don’t know.”
“Ask her,” Harper said, “She’ll say it’s fine. She doesn’t want you to be stuck in there with her when she’s got her own healing to do. You hovering around her constantly probably won’t be helping. Live a little, A.”
“Fine, I’ll ask her,” Amethyst clicked the mute button on her phone and cautiously stepped back intot he living room. Faye must’ve noticed her apprehension because she looked up and raised her eyebrows, “That was Harper, he’s outside. Do you mind if I go out for a bit?”
“I’m not going to crash and burn without you.”
“I know,” Amethyst shook her head, hating the way that Faye was looking at her like she’d just been insulted, “I just thought you might want me here if-”
“If what?” Faye bit her lip, “If I break down? Need to be protected?” She rolled her eyes, “I’m fine. Go.”
Knowing that this was the longest conversation they had had in the last 36 hours, and that it was hostile, left a bitter taste in Amethyst’s mouth.
“Fine,” Amethyst tried not to sound annoyed, “Screw me for caring, right? I’ll see you later. You know where the spare key is if you want to leave.”
Faye didn’t reply, simply looking back at the TV, effectively ending the conversation. Amethyst nodded to herself, trying not to feel too offended. She was going to go out with Harper and have fun. It’s not like she’d spent that last day worrying her ass off about Faye, hoping she was going to be okay.
She slipped on her coat and grabbed her keys. Hand on the doorknob, she looked back to the living room, where Faye was in the same position she had been for a day. It felt wrong, leaving her like this. But, if Faye didn’t appreciate her presence here, then why shouldn’t she leave? At least Harper didn’t act like a dick towards her because of what has happened.
Harper had pulled up at the bottom of the drive, in the same car from two days before.
“Really?” Amethyst gestured at it, “You still have Volkov’s car?”
“He doesn’t go out much,” Harper shrugged, then leant over from the driver’s seat and opened the passenger door, “Now, hop in. We have places to be.”
“You going to tell me where we’re going?”
“Now, where’s the fun in that?”
A few silent minutes later, they pulled up outside a warehouse. Amethyst immediately tensed up, brought back to the day before, when she was about to be taken away forever.
“It’s okay,” Harper’s hand was on her knee, warm and comforting, “We’re on the other side of town to where they took you. This is my place.”
“You live in a warehouse?” Amethyst asked, placated slightly, forcing herself to relax and remember the feeling when she first got into the car.
“No,” Harper laughed, “When I say my place, I mean somewhere I like to go. In times when I feel stressed or overwhelmed, I come here.”
“What’s calming about this place?”
“You’ll see,” His smile made Amethyst’s heart flutter, and she thought maybe she could do this. Harper was safe, kind, and good looking. If she could be with him, her life would be so much simpler. No being in love with her best friend, or confusing feelings about girls and boys. Harper could be something good, something that wasn’t tainted by how strange Amethyst and her life was.
She followed as Harper walked around the back of the warehouse to some rusted doors. He kicked aside a brick, and leant over to pick up a small key. He slipped it into the lock on the door, and used his shoulder to bust it open afterwards.
“Not been here in a while,” Harper said in way of explanation, “The door rusts over pretty quickly.”
“I can tell,” Amethyst stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets and looked around. The place was like Kamini’s, with dark concrete and misty windows. There were cobwebs all over the place, and Amethyst couldn’t understand how someone so normal like Harper could find a place like this relaxing. She quickly spun around when she heard loud creaking. A mechanism Amethyst hadn’t noticed was made up of a long beam across the entirety of the room, and there was a chain in it that was moving, with Harper on one end of the room pushing something into the middle.
“What’s that?”
“You never seen a punching bag before?”
Amethyst tilted her head. It was a punching bag alright, a battered, ripped punching bag that looked like it was about to fall apart.
“I think you need a new one, if that’s what you’re calling a punching bag.”
“Nah,” Harper patted the leather once he reached the middle of the room. His breathing was slightly heavier, and Amethyst could hear that his heartbeat had sped up. For a werewolf, he seemed unfit, “She’s sturdy.”
“Are you sure?” Amethyst walked towards it, and stroked a hand over one of the tears, “This doesn’t look like it could handle a few good hits.”
Not that Amethyst would really know. She hadn’t even used a punching bag in her lifetime.
“They’re tougher than they look,” Harper smiled wistfully, “Kind of like you.”
“Shut up,” Amethyst tried not to blush too obviously, and kept her gaze on the bag, assessing cracks in it rather than looking at Harper.
“No, really, you are tough.”
“Oh, I know that,” Amethyst smirked, “I’m just saying that I look tough as well as being tough. Someone’s sexist.”
“You sound just like Dylan,” Harper laughed slightly.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Definitely not.”
“So,” Amethyst finally looked at Harper to find him much closer than he was before. He was looking at the punching bag, a small smile on his face. She tried not to jump, but stopped talking. Harper seemed to have noticed, and looked at her with a raised eyebrow, “Why are you showing me this?”
“I know you don’t like to admit it,” Harper started, and Amethyst’s stomach clenched. Oh God, what had he noticed? “But you have a lot of anger in you. I saw how you were looking at that guy, Leon, like you wanted to tear his hair out. I saw how you looked at Kamini too, when we were walking away from the van. You keep holding yourself back.”
“Why shouldn’t I?” Amethyst said, “Being angry all the time isn’t a good thing.”
“No, it isn’t,” Harper agreed, “But you are, and that’s because you don’t let it out. You and I are the same, I think. We both want to fight anything that we can’t understand. Fight or run. You need to stop running from your anger, and that’s why I brought you here.”
“So, you’re giving me some sort of life lesson?” Amethyst scoffed, backing away from him, “That’s not what I signed up for.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not-” Amethyst gritted her teeth- “I’m not running
from my anger.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“You seem angry.”
“I’m not.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes!” Amethyst yelled, her hands clenched into fists at her side. She sighed, relaxing her hands. Harper stood, silently waiting for Amethyst to make her next move. She wasn’t running from her anger, she just wasn’t being absorbed by it, “What’s so bad about not giving in to my anger?”
“Running from your anger means one day it’s going to catch up to you,” Harper crossed his arms, “You’re going to hurt someone, maybe not someone who deserves it.”
“What makes you think that?”
“I’m speaking from experience,” Harper quirked a small smile, “It’s better to let it out. Stop running.”
As much as she hated to admit it, it was starting to feel like Harper might be right. Reluctantly, Amethyst walked back over to him and the bag. She ran her fingers over the leather again, considering. She met Harper’s eyes, and sighed.
“What should I do?” Amethyst asked, and Harper’s blank stare turned into a smug smile. He stepped away from her and gestured at the bag.
“Punch it, kick it, yell at it,” He said, “Everything you’ve wanted to do for the past week. Everything you’ve wanted to say, or do, to the people hurting you. Do it to the bag.”
“With you watching?”
“I can leave-”
“No,” Amethyst held a hand out, “It’s fine. I- I need someone to be a witness. Tell me if I’m taking it too far.”
“No such thing as too far.”
“Sure,” Amethyst scoffed, then stared. She didn’t know where to start.
“Think about everything,” Harper prompted, “From Kamini, to Faye, to Dylan, to me, Leon, anyone else. Think about tests, annoying friends, stupid werewolves. Just, think, and release.”
Amethyst took in a deep breath, and closed her eyes. She thought about Kamini, taunting her, and acting like everything was going her way. She thought about Leon, and his ease in being cruel then suddenly kind. She thought about Faye, and her hair and her eyes and her smile. She thought about all the things she had sacrificed for her, all the time she got hurt just to keep Faye safe. She thought about how Faye dismissed her, glared at her, shouted at her. She thought about how Faye hated her for keeping secrets. She thought about all the times Faye threatened to leave. She released.
The first hit landed awkwardly. She didn’t know what she was doing, but it felt right. She threw another punch, this one landing so hard that it sent a ringing pain up her arm.
She thought about Dylan smiling easily and finding nothing going through his confident façade. She thought about Anthea abandoning her children, about the blows landing on her stomach from Leon. She thought about Faye’s gentle eyes turning the stone as they pierced through her for the last day. She thought about everyone depending on her, blaming her, following her, hoping she knows what she’s doing.
She thought about her mother, of all the people she couldn’t help. She thought about Kamini.
What does death feel like?
The bag landed on the ground with a thud.
Amethyst’s chest was heaving, and she looked down at where the chain had broken, and the rips in the bag’s leather that weren’t there before. Something wet trickled down her fingers, and she brought her hands up, vaguely noticing the blood covering her knuckles.
“Better?” Harper asked her, his voice distant and faded, like it was coming through a cloud of dust.
“I broke your bag,” Amethyst, but the words didn’t feel like her own. She stared as a drop of blood fell from her hand and hit the floor. She knew what this feeling was, this twisting in her stomach, “Crap.”
“What?”
“I’m-” Amethyst screwed her eyes shut- “I’m-”
“Changing,” Harper finished for her, “Good, that’s good.”
Amethyst turned to look at him, and took in the small smile on his face. How could he be so relaxed? If she changed, she could hurt him, kill him even. Then it hit her. Harper was a wolf too. He could be a match for her, stop her from doing anything to hurt people. She closed her eyes again and focused on her breathing.
“Just let it happen,” Harper said calmly, “Let it happen.”
She did. Amethyst felt a calmness overcome her. This wasn’t like all the other times, on the full moon or when Kamini was near. This felt right. Maybe it was the fact that it was in the presence of another werewolf, or because she had finally released some of the anger inside her. As the change overcame her, Amethyst let herself smile.
◆◆◆
Amethyst came to later, and turned over just to fall out of a bed. Her eyes shot open, and she looked around to find herself in her own room. She blinked, looking outside, and seeing that it was still dark. She must not have been turned the entire night. Where was Faye?
Suddenly panicked, Amethyst shot to her feet and grabbed her phone from her pocket. She unlocked it to see that it was currently five o’clock in the morning. How long had she been a wolf? How long had she been asleep? She went to open a new text message to Faye when her door opened slightly.
Faye was in the doorway, rubbing her eyes and yawning. She blinked at Amethyst and raised her eyebrows.
“Did you fall out of bed?”
“Um-”
“Why are you still dressed?”
“Um-”
“Oh,” Realisation dawned on Faye’s face, “You were out with Harper,” She pursed her lips, “Did you have fun?”
Amethyst looked down at her scabbed over knuckles and didn’t really know how to answer. Before she knew it, Faye was in front of her, holding one of her hands and tutting.
“What the hell did you two do?” Faye’s voice was both concerned and angry. She so quickly fell back into old habits of looking after Amethyst that she almost felt guilty for using Faye as a catalyst for her anger. This was the most she had spoken in days, and it was about Amethyst being stupid.
“Punched stuff,” Amethyst shrugged, “Turns out I have some internalised anger that I’m not dealing with.”
“So surprising,” Faye sighed, “Come to the bathroom.”
Now this was a familiar routine. Whenever they got bumps or bruises, they would go to the bathroom, at either Amethyst’s or Faye’s house, where they kept a first aid kit. They were both clumsy kids, and even clumsier teens. That meant it was a frequent thing, going to the first aid kits.
Amethyst sat on the toilet lid as Faye rummaged in the cupboard under the sink. She watched her, feeling more tired than she had in the last few days. Having no memory of what she did while turned was disturbing, to say the least. She pulled her phone out of her pocket again, more of an excuse to look away from Faye than anything.
There were three new text alerts.
UNKNOWN NUMBER
I brought you home and put you to bed at around three, if you were worried. You mostly ran around the woods howling. Didn’t hurt anyone, except maybe a rabbit. KIDDING.
Let me know when you wake up that you’re okay.
Amethyst smiled slightly at the texts. It was nice to have someone that understood what she was going through. Another werewolf.
FAYE
What the hell are you doing up there?
Typical. Faye wasn’t concerned, or kind, she was still mad.
“Here,” Faye took the hand not holding the phone, and started dabbing it with disinfectant on a cotton wool pad. Amethyst winced at the sting of it, “You should’ve told me when you got home.”
“I didn’t know I was home,” Amethyst said simply, and Faye looked up in alarm.
“You what?”
“I don’t remember when I got home,” Amethyst shrugged, meeting Faye’s eyes with a blank expression, “I was with Harper in a warehouse, I turned, then woke up here.”
“Oh.”
“Oh,” Amethyst rep
eated mockingly, “Are you done? I really don’t think I need this.”
“It could get infected.”
“I’m a werewolf,” Amethyst tilted her head, “If it’s life threatening, it’ll heal.”
“You don’t know that,” Amethyst could see that Faye was starting to get agitated, but found herself not caring. What did Faye know about what she was going through? She had no idea. She just wanted to keep Amethyst how she always was, not how she was now.
“If there was any risk, Harper would’ve done something,” Amethyst snatched her hand out of Faye’s grasp, “It’s fine.”
“Why are you being like this?” Faye sounded small, and looked small, crouched at Amethyst’s feet and not meeting her eyes. Deep down, Amethyst knew she was being unreasonable. All she had to do now was say that feelings about everything were overwhelming her and she needed time to deal with it, but instead, she shrugged.
“Make sure you clean this up,” Was all Amethyst said before getting up and walking back to her room. As she closed the door, she let herself feel relief rather than guilt. Faye had been through an ordeal, but so had Amethyst. If she didn’t understand that, then she didn’t deserve Amethyst’s sympathy.
She tapped out a reply to Harper.
I’m fine. Knuckles are a bit bloody.
The reply came a second later.
UNKNOWN NUMBER
They’ll heal in their own time. Plus they’ll look damn cool for a while.
Amethyst smiled down at her phone, then went to add a new contact. She simply named him Harper, and wondered what he had her saved as. Probably just Amethyst. She shook her head. What a stupid thing to think about when all their lives were potentially in danger.
Letting out a breath, Amethyst flopped back onto her bed and stared at the glow in the dark stars on her ceiling. Maybe it was time to move on from Faye, and she could do that with Harper. She could.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
It was calm for a few days. Amethyst and Faye went back to school, and Faye took all her stuff with her, putting it in her locker until the end of the day. Her dad would be back that afternoon, and he’d be suspicious if she was still at Amethyst’s that night. Plus, the fact that Amethyst and Faye weren’t really talking.