His eyebrows shot up at her use of profanity.
“So, what exactly did you mean?” she continued.
“Just that you are not allowed to leave the house unescorted or unguarded.”
Amanda opened her mouth to argue, but before she could get out the first word, he stopped her with a lift of his hand.
“Before you take offense and we accomplish nothing more than arguing without making progress, please let me explain.”
“Yes, why don’t you do that,” she demanded through clenched teeth.
“Please, come back to the table. We can at least carry on this conversation sitting down.”
Amanda hesitated, then did what he’d asked. She needed to sit. She’d struggled so hard to remain strong for so long she was ready to collapse. She’d found it difficult to find the courage to travel to the docks at night—alone. Even more difficult to break into shipping offices and search through the ledgers and shipping files. She’d been terrified that a guard would appear at any moment and she’d be arrested. She’d found the courage though, because she didn’t know what else to do to help Harry.
But last night had changed everything. Someone had fired at them—at her. And they could have hit the Duke of Hadleigh. That thought terrified her more than anything. She couldn’t let him get in the way of a bullet that was intended for her.
“I don’t want your help,” she said as a final attempt to force him to mind his own business.
“I know you don’t.”
She narrowed her glare. “Then I will ask you again to stay out of my affairs.”
“And I will tell you again that that’s not possible.” He picked up his glass of water and took a sip. When he finished, he set it down beside his plate and sat back in his chair. “Would you like to begin by telling me what’s going on? Or would you like me to tell you what I assume happened to your brother?”
She didn’t move. Nor did she volunteer any information.
“Very well. I’ll tell you what I think, but please correct me if I make a wrong assumption.”
Amanda rolled her eyes, hoping he’d realize she had no intention of volunteering any information.
“First of all,” he started, “I think your brother has gotten himself in a very dangerous position. What that is, I don’t know, other than it involves shipping cargoes. Which leads me to think perhaps he might be involved in smuggling something either in or out of England.”
She’d come to that very conclusion herself, but wouldn’t admit it.
“Now, whoever your brother has involved himself with is obviously an earl, since you concentrated your efforts on only those persons who hold that title, and who own shipping companies. Am I correct so far?”
Amanda turned her head so she couldn’t focus on him. She didn’t want him to read anything in her expression.
“I’ll take your silence as an affirmative answer.” He paused. “Here’s where I become slightly confused. Something happened to your brother to make him flee London in a hurry. He was seen at his club almost nightly, but then he disappeared and hasn’t been seen since. I can only presume that whatever made him leave London was indeed serious. I will therefore presuppose that he committed murder.”
“No!”
“Well, that narrows the possibilities to some degree.”
Amanda bolted to her feet. “Stop it. Just stop it!”
“Then help me, Amanda. Tell me what you are involved in.”
Before she could take a complete breath, Hadleigh was on his feet and standing in front of her.
“Let me help you. Tell me what happened the night your brother left London.”
Another weight settled on top of the tonnage already on her shoulders. She was afraid she wouldn’t be able to stand under the burden much longer. Now she was certain of it.
“Whoever you brother is involved with knows what you are doing. That is why someone shot at you last night.”
She shook her head. “Maybe it was a night watchman, like you said.”
“No. A night watchman would have fired while you were attempting to break into Kroften Imports. Not when you’d already reached the carriage. You’re getting too close to discovering whatever it is that someone doesn’t want you to find.”
Amanda slowly walked away from Hadleigh. She had to think. And she couldn’t think when she was so close to him. His presence clouded her judgment. His strength made her want to rely on him. And there wasn’t anything she wanted more right now than to accept the help he offered.
She was in over her head. She’d known it for some time already. Whatever Freddie was involved in was too big for her to handle by herself.
But Hadleigh? Could she trust him?
She pressed her fingers to her temple and rubbed the ache that throbbed inside her head. What choice did she have? Who else was there to rely on?
She stood in front of the large paned window that overlooked Hadleigh’s magnificent garden. But she didn’t notice the beauty this morning. She couldn’t see anything past Freddie’s bruised and bloody body. She couldn’t hear anything except his agonizing moans as they carried him from the house to the waiting carriage. “You have no idea how much I want to reject any offer of help you make.”
“I think I do.”
She turned. “No. You do not. I would give anything to not have to rely on your help.”
Sterling didn’t move, but remained where he was. “Why?”
She lifted her arm and slowly, deliberately, drew a line down the middle of one of the window panes. When she reached the narrow slat of wood, she dropped her hands to her side and stood without moving. “Because I don’t know what Harry’s involved in. Because I’m afraid it’s something illegal, and if it is, you are too honorable to look the other way and will feel obligated to bring him to justice.”
Amanda heard Hadleigh move behind her.
“You have a lofty impression of me, I have to admit,” he said from somewhere close to her.
“It is who you are, Your Grace. Your uprightness and integrity are what make you the kind of person you are. You couldn’t live with yourself if you betrayed your code of honor. And I couldn’t live with myself if your high principles destroyed my brother.”
“And if I promised I wouldn’t let anything happen to your brother?”
She shook her head. “That would be a promise you couldn’t keep. You may think you can now, but in the end, your moral character would force you to do what is right—even if it puts my brother in prison.”
“So what are you going to do?”
She turned, but that small movement caused her to stagger. She reached out to the window frame to steady herself.
He rushed to her side and wrapped his arms around her. When she’d regained her balance, he escorted her back to her chair. “Sit down. Drink this.”
He filled her cup and brought it closer to her.
Her hand trembled when she lifted the cup of tea to her mouth and she quickly set it back down.
“You can’t continue as you have been, Amanda. The fact that someone shot at you last night proves how dangerous this has become.”
“Which is why I can’t allow you to involve yourself, Your Grace.”
“You don’t have a choice. I’m already involved and you know me well enough to know once I begin something, I see it through to its end.”
“Even if it means you might die?”
He looked at her, and for the first time in her life, Amanda saw a smile on the Duke of Hadleigh’s face.
But there was no humor in his eyes.
CHAPTER 10
Amanda forced herself to evaluate how she felt about the Duke of Hadleigh. She’d known for some time that eventually she’d have to face her true feelings, but that turned out to be more difficult than she dreamt it would. Because once she admitted how she felt about him, there’d be no trying to fool herself ever again. She’d have to face the fact that…
…that she loved him. That she had for most of
her life.
She remembered the day she fell in love with him. She’d been twelve years old and had been sent to stay with Celie in the country because her older sister, Eilene, was getting married. Her sisters complained that Amanda was too young to be of any help, that she was a nuisance and constantly underfoot.
It was while she was at Hadleigh Estate that Hadleigh came home with his best friend, Jonah Blackmoor, Earl of Haywood. Of course, Sterling wasn’t the Duke of Hadleigh yet, and Jonah wasn’t the earl. They were boyhood friends, home from Eaton, enjoying their break from school.
Hadleigh was young and unburdened by responsibility. He laughed often, teased his sister constantly, and he teased Amanda, too. Being around him was magical. She fell in love fast, hard, and—forever.
She also knew the exact day he changed. It was the day his mother and father were killed in a carriage accident, and he became the Duke of Hadleigh. In a matter of hours, he abandoned his youth and stepped into shoes he thought he’d never be perfect enough to deserve—those of his father.
Yes, that was the word that described him best—perfect.
He expected perfection for himself, as well as from everyone around him. He’d chosen the perfect woman to be his duchess. She was the most beautiful woman in Society, the most sought-after female, with the most impeccable pedigree. They were perfectly suited to each other, until he discovered she was carrying another man’s child.
Then, of course, there was his sister. The only family member he had left. The person he expected to follow his examples of perfection, but who fell in love and married his enemy, the man he believed betrayed him.
And lastly, there was her. Hadleigh always thought her to be a bad influence on his sister. He considered her to be outspoken, opinionated, and possessed of every other undesirable quality no refined female in Society would possess. His negative opinion of her served as the barrier that defined their relationship. He’d become her sparring partner, the person she most enjoyed irritating. The person she wished could see her as someone other than an annoying aggravation.
Amanda closed her eyes as if that small act could shut out the affect he had on her. Why had he kissed her? She would have been perfectly content to spend the rest of her life ignorant of the emotions that haunted her now. Perfectly content to keep her feelings for him hidden in her dreams. But he’d kissed her and opened the portals that allowed her emotions to escape. And she feared she’d never be able to rein them in again.
“Have you reached a conclusion, my lady?” he asked, pulling her back to the situation at hand.
“Yes, Your Grace. I have decided that I will allow you to assist me.”
His eyebrows shot upward, as if he was expecting to continue their argument.
“May I ask what caused you to change your mind?”
“Actually, you did. You were right when you said there were places that are not open to women, questions a woman cannot ask, and people with whom a woman cannot, and should not associate. I would appreciate your help with that.”
“I see.” Hadleigh shoved his chair away from the table and stood. He took several steps away from her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, noticing the frown on his forehead. “I thought that was the answer you wanted.”
“It was. It was the exact answer I wanted.”
“Then what?”
He paced the length of the table, then stopped when he returned to where she sat. “I don’t trust your answer.”
“You what?”
“I don’t trust you. There’s no barter? No conditions? No exemptions? There’s no, ‘I’ll let you do this, but don’t you dare do anything more.’ No, ‘I’ll let you find out this information, but when you have your answers, you’re done’”.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake! I don’t believe this! I’ve fought with you for weeks because you insist on interfering in my business even though your help is not needed. Then, when I give in, and accept your help, you don’t want to give it.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to help. I just think you gave in too quickly.”
“How much longer should I have held out, Your Grace?”
“That isn’t the point.”
“Yes, it is! What? Another few hours? All day? Perhaps two more days? Because that can be arranged. You simply tell me how much longer to refuse your interference, and I’ll comply.”
Hadleigh’s fists coiled at his sides. “Do you remember the night you lied to me—”
“I’ve lied to you too many times to remember each time I avoided the truth.”
That comment elicited an angry glare.
“It was the night you told me you were going right home. Instead you went to the docks and attempted to break into the Earl of Marquit’s shipping office.”
“Oh, that night.”
“Yes, that night. You lied to me with an expression on your face exactly like the expression you are wearing right now.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“Is it?”
“Yes! I’m accepting your help. I want your help. I need your help. Please, help me.”
Amanda clamped her mouth shut so fast and tight her teeth snapped.
Hadleigh smiled. This time even his eyes smiled.
Amanda growled. “Damn! Now look what you made me do?”
“Was asking so difficult?”
“Everything with you is difficult!” she answered. “No, everything with you is impossible.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“Yes, it does. If I don’t fight you for everything, I lose and you win. That’s how you play, Hadleigh. It’s how you’ve always played. All, or nothing. And you’ve never lost all, and ended up with nothing.”
He studied her for several silent moments, then sat down in the chair and faced her. “That’s where you’re wrong,” he said so softly she almost missed his words. “I have lost it all.” He looked up. “And I’m not talking about Melisande. I’m talking about Cecelia.”
She turned her gaze to the side. “Yes, I’m sorry about that.”
“So am I.” He breathed a heavy sigh. “But that’s another story. We need to discuss your brother and his situation. Tell me what happened.”
She looked at the determined expression on his face and knew she had no choice but to tell him everything. “Very well,” she sighed. “Several months ago, some men broke into my brother’s house and nearly killed him.”
“Do you know why?”
She shook her head. “But it’s serious.”
“Considering your brother’s ability to get in over his head, I don’t doubt it.”
She gave him a narrowed look. “The point is, Harry discovered something that almost got him killed.”
“Where is your brother now?”
She hesitated, then continued. “I took him where he’ll be safe.”
His eyebrows arched and his expression turned cynical.
She glared at him. “What do you find so humorous?”
“You, my lady. And the fact that you think there is such a place. If someone really wants him, they’ll eventually find him.”
“I know,” she admitted. “That’s why I need to discover who tried to kill him before they discover where he is.”
“What do you have to go on?”
Amanda lowered her gaze. “Not much.”
“But it has something to do with the docks,” he added. “Tell me what business you have at the docks. And why you’ve focused on every earl in Society. I want to know everything you know.”
She started to rise, but he reached out and stopped her.
“Everything, Amanda.”
She sank back down and sighed. “You’re not going to give up, are you?”
“No.”
“I didn’t want you to become involved.” She looked at him. “Why did you?”
“How could I not? You were taking a path to destruction. Any female with common sense would have known to stay far away from Marquit and Stanwich
. Simply talking to them could have caused your ruin.”
“It wouldn’t have,” she argued.
Hadleigh rolled his eyes. “And why have you focused only on those bearing the title of earl?”
Amanda’s breath caught. If she’d been so transparent that he arrived at this conclusion so easily, then others will have, as well.
Amanda shivered.
Which is why someone obviously wanted her dead.
“The night Harry was attacked some of our servants came to his rescue. They battled the intruders, and saved Harry’s life. As the assassins were leaving, our butler overheard one of them say, ‘the earl ain’t gonna like this’.”
“So you decided to investigate every earl in Society?”
“Only those who own shipping companies. The men who tried to kill Harry were dressed like seamen and smelled like they’d come from the docks.”
Hadleigh remained silent for a few moments, then asked more questions. “What are you searching for?”
“The company that owns a ship called the Calliope Ann. As we were carrying Harry out of the house, he grabbed my arm and whispered Calliope Ann.”
“Are you sure that’s what he said?”
Amanda felt the air drain from her body. She shook her head. “Not for certain. After Harry whispered the words, he lost consciousness. But that’s what I thought I heard. I checked with the Shipping Registry, but they don’t have a Calliope Anne listed. Which is why I’ve had to resort to this method.”
Hadleigh stood, then walked to the window. He stayed there a very long time without speaking. Just when she thought he wasn’t going to add anything, his voice broke the silence.
“How many men with the ranking of earl who own shipping ventures do you have left to investigate?”
“Four.”
His eyes opened wide and he looked at her. “You’ve been busy.”
“I had to be. The longer it takes me to find the Calliope Ann, the greater the chances that they’ll find Harry.”
“Who do you have left?”
“Marquit and Stanwhich, of course, because you interrupted me before I could search their offices. And the Earl of Lambert. He owns Kroften Import and Export. And the Earl of Flanders. He owns Flanders Shipping.”
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