I noticed the air change around us and felt his brothers drifting closer. I looked around and watched as they each approached slowly with worry in their eyes. When I looked back up at Michael, I noticed his eyes had changed. “Your brothers are worried about you.”
He shook his head. “They’re worried about you. They don’t trust me.”
I heard the pain in his voice, even though he tried to sound flippant. It made me angry to see him hurting. I glared at each of his brothers, who were still drifting closer. “We’re fine. We don’t need a bunch of babysitters. Go on back to your chores and leave us be.”
Michael rubbed his nose into my throat and chuckled. “You’re fighting for me, now?”
I pushed him away and opened my car door. “It would seem so. I’m going home. I’ve got work in the morning.”
He held the door and leaned in after I was seated. “I left my hat at your place.”
I closed my eyes and thought of him being in my house again. There was no way he would just be retrieving his hat and leaving if he came over. No way. I looked up at him and blew out a breath. I fought back a grin that tried desperately to pop itself out onto my face. “I guess you should come on by and grab it then.”
His smile was overwhelmingly charming. “See you, soon.”
I pulled the door shut and drove back to my house, butterflies in my stomach knowing he’d soon be following. I was also trying to ignore the very real ache that grew in my chest proportionately with the increased space I put between us. It didn’t make any sense. None of it made any sense. Yet, it did.
CHAPTER 8: Michael
I woke up early the next day, in Daisy’s bed. Everything was frilly. Her pillows had pillows, all of them ruffled in pink and white fabric so soft that I couldn’t help but rub my beard over it. I stretched my legs out and sighed when my ankles and feet hung off the bed. I’d have to buy her a bigger bed.
I could hear her shuffling around in the bathroom and the whole scene felt comfortable. I’d heard stories about the mating bond for ages, but I never realized how instantaneous it would be. I felt like I’d been doing this same thing with Daisy for years. Her and I just felt right. Something about her soothed me, and I hadn’t hurt her. My bear had just wanted to claim her and after we had, he’d been silent.
I sat up and leaned against her headboard, waiting for her to come out. If I was lucky, I’d get a quickie before she left for work.
Only, when she came out, she looked pale and sick. She spotted me and groaned. “Don’t look at me.”
I was at her side in an instant. “What’s wrong?”
She rubbed her stomach absently. “I just feel so nauseous. I can’t remember ever feeling this sick to my stomach. Ever.”
“Was it the dumplings?”
She glared up at me and climbed under the covers. “That’s not funny. There was nothing wrong with my dumplings. I thought you liked them.”
I climbed in behind her and slid my body against hers. “I loved them. I didn’t mean to imply-”
“I’m not having sex with you.”
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her even closer to me. I knew my hard-on was pressing against her thighs, but I was okay with it just resting there. I could only imagine how sore her body was. “I’m just trying to hold you, Daisy.”
She groaned and then made a crying sound. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be mean. I just feel so awful, Michael.”
“Tell me what all’s going on.”
“Why? Are you a doctor?”
“Nope. I got about half way through medical school, though. I’d planned to become a doctor, but there was an… incident, and I left. Tell me your symptoms.”
She rolled over to face me and stared up at me, her eyes round and curious. “Incident?”
I frowned. “Tell me your symptoms, and I’ll tell you.”
She shook her head. “No way. You first.”
“Fine. I was halfway through med school when a guy tried to mug me on my way home one night.” I let out a long breath before continuing, “I lost control and shifted. The guy lived, but I knew I couldn’t be around normal humans anymore. Not regularly. Sometimes, if the threat isn’t directly in my face, I can kind of direct my bear. But, under any threat of real danger, he takes over. He isn’t cuddly.”
She stroked my chest and frowned. “Are all bears like that?”
“No. Mine is just… broken.”
“Is it from the accident when you were young?”
I rolled over onto my back and stared at her ceiling. I liked recalling the memory about as much as my bear did. Which was nil. “Yeah.”
She curled into my side and pressed her lips to my shoulder. “You don’t have to talk about it.”
As difficult as remembering was, and as much as I hated it, I found myself wanting to tell her. “When we were kids, we had an Uncle Max. My dad’s brother. He’d found his mate when he was very young and he and my Aunt Mary were together for many years before she died in a car accident. For a bear, losing your mate can be the thing that ends you. Some bears manage to handle it okay, like my mom. She’s strong. But, Max, he wasn’t strong.
“After Mary died, he lost it. He went off the deep end and started thinking all of this insane shit. He thought that someone had murdered her.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I went to his house one day to fetch him for my Dad, but when he saw me, he snapped. For whatever reason, he thought that I was the one who’d killed Mary. I was only twelve. My bear wasn’t very strong yet.
“He tore me apart. My bear didn’t understand and he was scared. He retreated. Shifters, all of us, have an excellent capacity to heal, but Max tore me to shreds. The damage was so extensive I nearly bled out before someone heard my screams and came to help. And my dad, well, he had to kill his own brother. He was so far gone, it was really a mercy killing. Max wasn’t there anymore.”
Daisy held me tightly in her arms. “You must’ve been so scared.”
“At that point, I was so close to death, I didn’t feel anything. I just knew that my bear was gone and that I was never going to be the same. My brothers, they’re all normal. They shift and play. They shift and intimidate. They shift and hang out in the woods, just to do it. I can’t, though. Most of the time, it’s like I’m human. My bear just comes out in emergencies, but when he does, it’s like he has something to prove. He’s angry and it’s nearly impossible to get him to remember that I’m here, too.”
I groaned and sat up, needing to stretch out. I suddenly felt constricted, the memories and sadness welled up in me. It was easy to say it all to her in a distant, emotionless way, but in reality, I was definitely feeling the emotions. “I…I’m a monster at times, Daisy. When the bear takes over, all I can do it watch. Someone came to our house a few months ago and tried to hurt Lucas and Mason. He shot Lucas and before I knew what was happening, I ripped his head off. Literally. A human. I killed a man without even getting to have a say in it. My bear is a cold-blooded killer.”
I don’t know why I told her that part. I don’t know if I wanted to scare her, or what. I usually tried not to think about that night. It had been a turning point for me. A realization that I couldn’t be trusted around anyone. I could turn and kill before I was even cognizant of it.
“You protected your brother and that sweet little boy. That doesn’t sound like a monster to me.” She sat up and rubbed at her stomach. “If anything, I think it makes you a hero.”
I growled and turned away from her. “No. I’m a killer. Dangerous. I hurt people. This is stupid. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Your turn, tell me your symptoms.
“If I had your physical strength and abilities and someone attacked my family, I would’ve ripped them to shreds. I know I shouldn’t say that, because I’m supposed to be this sweet kindergarten teacher, but it’s the truth. This world can come at you viciously at times. When it does, it’s our responsibility to protect our own, Michael, no matter wha
t. What if you hadn’t killed him and he’d gotten to Mason? What if you followed the laws and he was arrested, and released in ten years? What if he’d come back while no one was around and killed someone you love? I refuse to believe that you’re a monster for protecting your family.
“Maybe your bear is a little out of control, but he’s been through a lot. He wasn’t able to protect you all those years ago, when you really needed him. Maybe he’s trying to make up for it now.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. I wasn’t ready to deal this now. “Symptoms, Daisy.”
She sighed. “I’ve been nauseous lately, when I wake up mostly. I think it’s just nerves with school. Teaching at a new place is challenging, but especially here. People are closed off here more than anywhere else I’ve ever lived.”
“What else?”
“Um, tired. I’ve been tired a lot.”
I turned to face her and tried to remove any judgment from my face. “Are you pregnant?”
I watched her laugh and then grow still. Her face lost whatever color it’d regained and then she lurched for the bathroom again. After several minutes, I heard her faint crying.
“No, no, no. That’s not possible.”
I pushed into the bathroom and my stomach dropped at the sight of her. She was on the side of the tub, her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking with her sobs. “Daisy?”
She snapped her head up and met my gaze. “I… I didn’t know. I guess I haven’t had a period in a couple of months, but that’s not unusual for me. I can’t be pregnant. I just can’t. This is too much.”
I tuned into my senses as much as I could and took a deep breath in. Sure enough, I could now sense what my brothers had probably picked up on right away. Daisy was pregnant. Anger radiated up from within and I had to grip the doorframe to keep myself still. Another man had touched my mate. “How?”
Huge tears fell down her face as she looked up at me. “I went to a party a while ago. I got drunk and made the stupid decision to go home with a friend of a friend. We used protection, though. I was safe. This doesn’t make any sense.”
My chest felt like it was going to crack open. Another man had dared touch my mate. Of course, realistically, I knew that she’d been with others. Knowing it and seeing the physical embodiment of it, though, were two different things.
My bear was suddenly very present and very pissed off. I growled and forced myself to turn away. My movements were jerky from trying to contain it.
“Michael?” Daisy followed me. “I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t know.”
I moved as fast as I could to the front of the house, needing to get out of there. I could feel the bear clawing its way out and I didn’t know how long I could continue to fight it off. Boiling hot rage was pouring through my body and I was fighting a losing battle.
“I didn’t mean to suck you into a situation like this. I didn’t know!”
I spun around on her and winced when I saw the fear flash across her eyes. I spit the words out as best as I could. “Not…you. I’m going to…turn. Bear…pissed…run.”
I wanted to console her, but I felt the bone snapping shift begin and roared out in pain. It was happening. I was too late.
CHAPTER 9: Daisy
All panic about pregnancy flew out of the window when I watched Michael disappear amidst cracking and popping, and turn into the biggest grizzly bear I’d ever seen. The whole process took seconds. As asinine as it was, all I could think about was this giant bear sculpture I’d seen in a natural history museum when I was a little girl. I’d been mesmerized by how large it was. Michael was bigger. His bear didn’t even seem possible. He didn’t fit in my house, that was for sure.
Then, he roared again, and I snapped back to reality. There was a giant grizzly bear in my house. One that Michael seemed afraid of. I watched as it lowered its face to mine and then pulled back its lips in a snarl.
My heart seized and I screamed before I could stop myself. The bear roared back at me, its spittle flying everywhere. I turned and made a beeline for my bedroom door in an attempt to put space between us. Even though it was Michael, I was starting to worry that I’d been wrong about him not hurting me. Maybe this bear hadn’t just been protecting him and his family.
I slammed the bedroom door closed and ran to the other side of the bed, praying that it would give up and go away. I didn’t want to be eaten. I didn’t want Michael to have to deal with the aftermath of that, either.
My door snapped from its frame and slammed into the wall across from it. The bear had to squeeze through the doorway, but thudded into my room and locked onto me. Panic and fear kept me frozen in place.
As it came nearer, I prayed. I tried to calm down enough to talk to it. “Michael? I know you’re in there.” My voice came out in a shaky, cracking whisper.
The bear roared and I figured it wouldn’t be the best response to roar back. So, instead, I tried talking. “Bear, let’s figure this out, okay? Don’t hurt me. I know you don’t want to hurt me,” I used my best kindergarten teacher voice. “I’m not a threat to Michael. He’s safe with me. You’re safe with me.”
It inched closer and huffed out a blast of breath that blew my hair back.
“I’m your mate. I don’t really know what it means, yet, but I know it means that we’re supposed to be meant for each other. I don’t think that it means I was just meant for Michael. I think I was meant for you, too. Doesn’t it?”
It was standing over me, now. I closed my eyes and waited for the first blow to happen. I was talking to a giant grizzly, trying to make sense of it all, but it didn’t seem like anything made sense. At all.
Another growl came from right beside my head and I started crying softly. I was a goner. Then, something strange happened. I felt something wet land on my shoulder and tried not to freak out. Was it tasting me before eating me?
But then, a lighter huff came from it. It licked me again and nudged me with its cold nose. I opened my eyes and found myself staring right into the big gold eyes of the bear. It huffed again and then nuzzled into my side with its big head.
I tentatively raised my hand and stroked the top of the bear’s head. “Is that okay?”
It licked my hand and then nudged it with the top of its head so I would pet it again. I laughed lightly, not wanting to startle it, and then rubbed it more firmly behind the ears.
“Is this okay?”
It made a sound eerily similar to a purr and then flopped onto its side. My whole room shook and the nightstand next to it was crushed, but then it rolled over onto its back and wiggled around. I laughed and reached down to pet its belly.
Another blur of motion and then Michael was lying in front of me. He looked up at me with a range of emotions playing out over his face. Shame and horror seemed to be the most prominent. He jerked upright and started rummaging for his clothes. “I’m sorry, Daisy.” He yanked on his jeans.
I looked around at my destroyed room and shrugged. “It can be fixed. Are you okay?”
He paused before buttoning his pants and I took a moment to enjoy how stunning he was. I should’ve been afraid, if his reaction meant anything, but I wasn’t. I was slightly turned on and a whole lot amazed.
“I don’t mean the fucking room. I could have killed you. I… I’m not safe to be around. I can’t do this. I’m sorry. I thought I could, but I can’t. I need to be alone.”
I frowned, feeling frustrated with him. “I’m not going to chase you down this time, Michael. If you want me, you have to stop running from me. You’re not going to hurt me. I believe that with every fiber of my being. You need to believe it, too.”
He shrugged into his shirt and then swiped his hat off of my bedpost. “I’m sorry, Daisy.”
I let him walk out. I heard the door slam a few seconds later and then I his truck speeding away. My heart ached and my stomach soured at the same time. I barely made it to the bathroom before the dry heaves took ahold of my insides again.
I still had to
make it in to work somehow, and put on a face of patience and cheeriness for the children. All I wanted to do was cry on my bathroom floor. My life had been perfectly normal until that stupid field trip to the Long Ranch.
It didn’t feel like the carnival had just been yesterday. I felt like I’d lived half a lifetime between then and where I was now, lying on cold bathroom floor tiles, pregnant by a stranger, and mated to a man-bear who kept running away from me.
I did the only thing I knew how to do. Carry on. I got up and dressed, while trying desperately to quiet my brain. I kept thinking in circles, attempting to comprehend everything that recently happened. Just yesterday, I’d thought that every human I saw was just human. I never would’ve guessed that all those romance novels were onto something. I’d also thought that soulmate was just something that people told themselves about their significant others to make their relationship feel more special. My world had been rocked in less than twenty-four hours and I hadn’t found my footing, yet.
Dealing with Michael made it damn near impossible to get my footing. He was so wishy-washy. I wanted to smack him, to knock some sense into him. He was so terrified that his bear was going to hurt me, but it was too late for that. He’d claimed me and, according to him, that meant forever. It was too late to run from me now.
I knew I couldn’t stop him, though. He was set in his way of thinking, which was that his bear was a monster who wanted to kill. I had to give him time and hope that while I waited for him to figure stuff out, I could adjust to what his world meant for me.
For me and the baby growing inside of me, I thought with a sigh. I’d better get myself to a doctor to be sure that I really was pregnant. How ironic that I’d waited to have an accidental pregnancy until meeting the man who was supposedly made for me, my soulmate. I couldn’t have just done it as a stupid teenager. Nope. Leave it to me to be an adult making teenage mistakes.
CHAPTER 10: Michael
Rancher Bear Complete Series: PLUS NEW BONUS BOOK: Rancher Bears' Merry Christmas Page 18