Let it Be Me

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Let it Be Me Page 21

by Jody Holford


  She sat with her mother and father, staring at her brother and Garrett, heart thundering. Parker looked at Garrett, and the softness that overtook his expression stole her breath.

  “We’re going to get married to make the process more…official,” Parker said.

  Garrett shoved him in the shoulder. “Right. Nice way to put it, Mr. Smooth-Talker.”

  Park’s cheeks pinked. Megan bit her lip when he glanced over at the three members of his family and shrugged. “Sorry. We’re getting married because we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together.” He looked back at Garrett with one eyebrow arched. “And conveniently, doing so will look good to the deciders of our fate.”

  Garrett shook his head but then leaned it on Parker’s shoulder. “We decide our own fate, baby. I’d marry you even if we hadn’t decided to start a family.”

  Parker kissed the top of Garrett’s head. “Obviously. I’m kind of a catch.”

  Her mom gave a half-laugh, half-sob. “Can we hug you yet?” she squealed.

  They all laughed, and her dad rose first and pulled his son up into a hug. Megan and her mom joined in, hugging Garrett and then trading places.

  When they sat back down, emotion pumped through the room, vibrating around Megan. Her parents were settling in; her brother was going to be a husband and trying to be a dad. She was a teacher. Everything she wanted was happening. Life was moving forward according to the plan she’d started making for herself at the age of five. And still, a tiny piece of her heart was reluctant to get in on the celebration.

  Her brother was absolutely right when he’d said she “girl-likes-boy” liked Adam. It was that piece of her wishing hard, right that moment, that things could be different than they were. You’ll find your forever. Parker and Garrett’s hands were still linked, and when they’d sat back down, her parents had sat beside each other. Her mom was curled into her father’s side. She’d find it.

  And for now, she had them. It would have to be enough.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Adam’s heart stayed lodged in his throat for the entire ride to the airport. This was the longest he and Charlie would have ever been apart.

  “Can I Facetime you, Dad?” Charlie asked from the backseat.

  Both he and Megan had also been unusually quiet for the ride. Parking in the lot, Adam took a deep breath and tried to swallow down the lump, telling himself it was no good for his son to see him upset.

  “Of course you can. Every day. And text or call as much as you want.”

  “What if you’re in a meeting?”

  Adam released his seat belt and turned to look at his son. His hair was just a little longer than usual. It swept over his forehead and made his eyes seem darker.

  “Then I’ll call you back or text you as quick as I can. I’m going to miss you, bud.”

  “Me, too. But we have our trip when we get back, and Mom said I could be on set with her, and I can’t wait to go to Disneyland,” he said.

  They grabbed his bags from the back and walked through the busy airport. Odd how he handled going away, but being the one left behind felt entirely different. After checking in with the airline, Megan pulled Charlie close and gave him a hug. An airline representative would take Charlie onto the plane and deliver him directly to Reece. All perfectly safe. He’d be fine.

  “Hey. He’s going to be okay,” Megan whispered.

  The feel of her breath on his ear reminded him of other things, and without thinking of anything more than needing the connection, he took her hand. She squeezed it tight, then pulled her hand away.

  Saying goodbye was harder than Adam thought it would be. Mostly because he had to hold it together.

  “Will you be here to pick me up, too, Meg?” Charlie asked, looking at her.

  “I can try. Your dad will be here for sure, and I’ll see what I can do, okay?”

  She never made a promise she wasn’t sure she could keep. Another point in the admiration column.

  “And I will be here. Waiting right outside the gate,” Adam said, picking his son up and hugging him close. He’d already made sure nothing was on his schedule for that day and was working on clearing the few days after Charlie’s return.

  “You ready to go, Charlie?” Yvonne, the flight attendant who would see to Charlie’s safety, asked.

  “Yup. Can I see the cockpit?”

  Yvonne laughed and took his hand when Adam set him on the ground. “I’m pretty sure I can arrange that. But you can’t fly the plane, okay?”

  Charlie laughed, and the sound loosened some of the tightness in Adam’s chest.

  “Love you,” Megan said, her voice steady and genuine.

  “Love you, too. Love you, Dad,” Charlie said, waving at them before grabbing his rolling suitcase.

  “I love you, Charlie. Be good. Call me when you’re with Mom, okay? Use her phone as soon as you touch down and get off the plane.”

  “Okay. Bye.”

  Yvonne gave them a reassuring smile and then looked down at Charlie, answering whatever question he’d asked her. Adam’s throat was thick, and a headache had formed at the base of his skull.

  Megan turned and started to walk toward the exit. Adam trailed just behind her, needing a moment to pull himself together. He was being irrational and certainly didn’t need Megan to see him this way. They’d barely had a moment alone in the last few days. A few texts, one smoking hot email he’d be keeping in his saved folder for a long time to come, and a half a dozen stolen kisses. Not nearly enough. He was looking forward to spending time with her and had been trying to focus on that instead of Charlie leaving. But walking away from his son in the airport made breathing hard. So he’d pull himself together, and then he’d enjoy the hell out of being with Megan.

  Feeling more under control, he lengthened his stride to close the gap between them. She was almost at the door when he noticed her head was down. Adam closed the distance between them, grabbed her arm, and spun her around. Shock stopped him in his tracks. Tears ran down her cheeks, and her breath was shuddering in and out. A stitch of pain stabbed his chest…like a running cramp but closer to his heart.

  “Hey,” Adam said, tugging her close.

  To his surprise, and relief, she let him. She burrowed right in, putting her arms around his waist and laying her head on his chest. Moving his hands up and down her back, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She smelled like berries again. It made him hungry.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  She nodded against his chest, her breath hitching. He’d never seen her cry. It was nearly as upsetting as when Charlie did. Adam didn’t know how to help, so he kept rubbing his hands over her back.

  “You held it together so well,” Adam said into her ear, surprised she’d been holding all of this inside.

  Looking up at him with a tear-stained face, she wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? Be all: ‘Hey, have a great time. I’ll miss you, but no big deal.’”

  Adam smiled, feeling an affection he wasn’t certain what to do with. Something inside of him turned over, clicking into place. “That is what you’re supposed to do. You’re going to be a great mom someday,” he said.

  His chest tightened again. There wasn’t enough room to contain everything he felt in that one, constricted place. Her lips parted, and her eyes filled again. It was true. She would make a wonderful mother. Or step-mom. Adam’s breath caught. She treated and loved Charlie as her own. If she could do that, how would she be with a baby she’d carried? The thought stuck in Adam’s head, and for one quick second, he pictured her pregnant with his child. Their child. His heartbeat tripled its pace. Holy shit. Talk about zero to sixty. This was why his heart didn’t get to be in charge of anything.

  “We should go. We’re blocking traffic flow,” he said, dropping his hands.

  When he put a hand to the small of her back, he thought of how he’d kissed her there and how smooth and sexy her skin was. Gui
ding her through the traffic, they made it back to the car. They both buckled, and he gathered his words into coherent thoughts while he navigated the airport lot. It was a hell of a lot easier to think when he wasn’t touching her. Though just having her next to him was a distraction at the moment.

  “You’re not still thinking about staying at Stella’s or your brother’s while Charlie’s away, are you?” he began, pulling into traffic.

  He glanced over long enough to see her lick her lips. His body stiffened, and he wanted nothing more than to get home. With her.

  “No. I was hoping maybe you’d want to spend some time together. When you’re free. I can stay at my place obviously. I have to pack and I have things to do, so it’s not like I’ll just be sitting around waiting—”

  Grinning, he reached out and took her hand, pulling it to his thigh and covering it with his own. “You’re rambling.” Did that mean she was as excited as he was about the idea of being together again? Last time, she’d said they weren’t even, but this time, since he couldn’t get her out of his head, they were. He wanted the chance to hold her close and kiss her everywhere. He wanted to hear the trembling sigh in her voice when she said his name. He hadn’t thought beyond a night at a time, but now, he didn’t plan on what they’d shared being a one-night stand. You didn’t plan on her at all. Which was throwing him. It was too difficult to drive and get his words right. When he took an exit and pulled off the road into a mostly empty parking lot, Megan looked at him with wide eyes.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I can’t talk while I’m driving. I need to see you,” he said.

  “Okay.” She stared down at her lap, let her fingers wander over the fabric of her jeans.

  “It’d be easier if you looked back at me,” he said, releasing his seat belt.

  Lifting her head, she met his gaze. Seeing the desire he felt mirrored in her eyes bolstered his confidence. He ran his thumb back and forth over her skin.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you,” he admitted.

  Her smile lit a fire inside of him—part blaze, part simmering heat.

  “I like conversations that start that way,” she said.

  Adam laughed, the tension easing out of his shoulders. “I think we’ve always been honest with each other, and I want that now, more than ever. I’d like to spend as much time together as we can over the next two weeks. I know…” He paused. Glancing down at where their hands were joined, he tried to gather his words. Shit. Declan was right. Asking her to help him find a wife had been the height of idiocy. Forcing himself to meet her gaze again, he took a deep breath.

  “I shouldn’t have asked you to help me find a wife. It was above and beyond stupid. I think it was a coping mechanism for knowing you were leaving Charlie and me.”

  She released her seat belt and leaned closer. “You don’t want a wife anymore?”

  Did he? He sure as fuck didn’t want to waste any time with another woman who wasn’t Megan during the next couple of weeks. Would it be enough? Could he have this time with her and keep his carefully guarded heart from getting involved?

  “I don’t want to think about that right now. I want a chance to know you like this. We don’t have to make promises to each other, and realistically, I know we want different things, but in this moment, all I can think about is you.”

  A couple of cars whipped past them, heading out of the lot. Megan glanced over his shoulder, watching the cars, then looked back at him.

  “You aren’t my happily ever after,” she said.

  It was true, so why the hell did it feel like she’d just shoved a steak knife between his ribs? “I wouldn’t say I’m anyone’s.”

  She reached out, putting her palm to his cheek, and the tenderness he saw in her gaze nearly undid him. Everything inside of him felt…untethered.

  “I don’t believe that. But what I was going to say is I don’t want to worry about the future. I just want here and now. With you.”

  Letting out a low groan of relief, he leaned in to take her mouth, to kiss her the way he’d been dying to for days now. When he pulled back, he pressed his forehead to hers.

  “I don’t want to hurt you. You’re really okay with just…for now?”

  She smiled. “Are you? You’re the one with an unnatural attachment to your schedule,” she teased.

  Adam laughed, leaning in to kiss her again, but worry nestled in the back of his brain. What if he developed an unnatural attachment to her? To them?

  “I can handle it if you can,” he whispered, wishing they were out of the confines of his car.

  “No more online profiles and dates?” Was he imagining the hopeful tone in her voice?

  “No. And no more Tinder or Sebastians,” he said, not quite keeping the growl out of his own voice.

  This time, she laughed, and Adam felt a bone-deep satisfaction at being the reason.

  “I already took the app off my phone.”

  Unable to stop himself, he kissed her again, taking his time and pulling her close the way he’d been craving. Her hand pressed against his heart, her fingers clenching in the material of his shirt. When he trailed kisses across her cheek, she tilted her head, and he pressed his mouth to her neck, breathing her in and holding his breath. He could lose himself in her so easily, but he wouldn’t. Because he knew going in that their connection came with an expiration date. Knowing ahead of time would make it easier to let her go. If he’d known with Reece, it wouldn’t have crippled his heart. But the last thing he wanted was to think of Reece.

  Megan’s hands wandered restlessly, and Adam shifted uncomfortably in the driver’s seat, frustrated with the console between them. He couldn’t get close enough. When she pulled back, her eyes were half-closed and heavy with lust.

  “Will we be okay when this is over?” she asked.

  Tenderness swamped him. He cupped her cheek, as she’d done to him. “We will. I care about you, Megan. I don’t want to hurt you, but I want, very much, to be with you. Only you. Let’s put everything else aside and enjoy the time we’re about to have alone together.”

  She nodded, her hand curling around his wrist. “And when it’s done?”

  For the first time that he could remember, Adam didn’t want to think ahead. He didn’t want tomorrow or the next day. If he could make time stand still, he would, just to hang on to this moment. He wanted to memorize the way her hand felt on his skin, the way her gaze burned into his, the way his car smelled like her shampoo and his heart wanted to pound out of his chest.

  “Let’s not worry about that right now.”

  Very slowly, she nodded. “Okay.”

  He smiled. “Okay.”

  They stared at each other like a couple of teenagers who’d pulled over to make out. He laughed when he realized they’d done just that. He hadn’t even done that when he was a teen. If he had any common sense, he’d shut this down before he did something stupid and fell for a woman who knew the sappiest lines to all of the cheesiest movies. She’d been quoting them via text for two days, making him laugh and respond with as many Die Hard references as he could.

  It’ll be fine. I’m a grown man. I can handle a short-term relationship without falling. There’d been no other woman after Reece who’d made him worry he could. Megan had been right there, beside him the whole time, and when he’d finally opened his eyes, the level of want he held inside for her had knocked him on his ass. So they’d enjoy themselves until it ended. Like all things did. And they’d remember this pocket of time fondly.

  “Then it’s settled,” he said more to himself than her. He pulled back, intending to get them on the road again.

  Megan tightened her grip on his shirt. “Is that what we are? Funny, I feel completely…unsettled.”

  Boosting herself up a bit, she pressed her lips to the side of his neck. A hard tremor traveled down his spine. His fingers squeezed on her thigh. She found his mouth and took him under in a sweet kiss that made him forget they were on the side of the road.
Pushing one hand into her hair, he let the other roam up and over her as he reacquainted himself with the shape and feel of her body.

  Her fingers slid under his shirt, over flesh, making him wish they were home. In his bed. A low, sexy sound coming from her had Adam’s need spiking high. His chest was tight, and his breathing grew more labored. He forced himself to take her face in his hands, steady himself, and slow them down. Her eyes were heavy-lidded and seductive when she peeked up at him.

  “We should go,” he said, his voice rough.

  “Hmm. Or we could just stay here and make out,” she replied, turning her face to kiss one of his palms and then the other.

  Adam chuckled, leaned back, and realized it was going to be a long, uncomfortable ride home. Unless they changed the topic and she kept her hands to herself. He put his seat belt on.

  “While that sounds appealing, I think being out of the car sounds better. Buckle up and I’ll see how quickly I can get us there,” he said.

  Megan snorted with laughter. “Bet you say that to all the girls.”

  His neck heated when he realized how she’d played with his words. Glancing over, he grinned at her. “Never let it be said I don’t have a way with words.”

  Laughing at himself was easier with Megan beside him. She made him feel lighter. He could use that right now, he realized. When she reached out and put her hand on his thigh, an intimate and arousing gesture, his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

  “You have a way with a lot of things,” she said, so quiet he wasn’t sure if he heard her right.

  Didn’t matter. He liked the words, so even if that wasn’t what she’d said, he’d let himself believe that was how she felt. As Adam increased his speed, anticipation hummed in his blood as he headed toward home. For the first time in a very long time, his thoughts had nothing to do with work.

  Chapter Nineteen

  One day, she’d settle down with the right man and she’d know she wasn’t missing out on anything. She’d have the memories of sharing a brief and intense physical relationship with Adam—something to be looked back upon fondly. This was what she told herself for the entire ride home as anticipation and desire sang through her blood. She’d be okay when it ended because she knew it would end. Both relief and surprise had assaulted her when he’d said he didn’t want it to be a one-time thing.

 

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