by Alex Avrio
Next morning they walked for several hours across further featureless fields. Jaeger took out his timepiece compass. He adjusted their course and in another hour they were back on roads now wider and in a better state of repair. Jaeger walked with Amanates.
“I’ve been meaning to have a word with you,” Jaeger said. “If it all goes to hell when we get there, and I expect it will, you should leave. Go back to the South Across the Water.”
Amanates looked at him as though the Kapitan had spoken another language. “We stand together, we die together,” he said.
“The pyramid, the mist and its creatures, pirates. You must think we’re bad luck.”
“We escaped all of these, did we not?” Amanates observed. “I would call that good luck.”
“I like the way you see things, my friend,” Jaeger said patting him on the shoulder.
When they stopped for a short break Regina approached Morgenstern, surprising him just as he’d finished buttoning his breeches. He shot her an indignant look.
“Don’t worry, I’ve seen it before,” Regina told him.
“Is nothing sacred?” he said.
“I saw more of you on the pirate ship than you realize, so no false modesty. I need to speak to you, alone.”
“Why? You plan to seduce me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Not difficult, from what I hear, but I don’t like queues,” Regina replied. Morgenstern went red, his scar standing out on his face, and Regina was reminded for a moment of Jaeger. Those two had many similar mannerisms. “You’re safe from me. Before we talk, I need to know if you can keep a secret.”
“I’m able to keep a confidence.”
“From Schaefer?”
Morgenstern went red again.
“I hope you two aren’t up to no good,” Jaeger said, wandering over from his own previous pressing engagement.
“We’re finished the ‘up to no good’ bit,” Regina said, a sly smile on her lips. “Morgenstern’s a fast devil.”
Morgenstern turned so red that Regina thought that he might have an apoplexy. “Max, I assure you I haven’t–”
Jaeger burst into laughter and Morgenstern relaxed a little.
“Unlike Fitzwaters and my good self, you've been in the loop. We’d like your opinion on some things,” Jaeger said.
“Well, being ‘in the loop’, as you say, wasn’t very helpful for me either,” Morgenstern admitted. “I was taken as much by surprise as you.”
“Yes, but you still might know things that would shed light on certain matters. May we pick your brains?”
On the last stretch of road before Ausburg and the Winter Palace, Emilia amused herself by playing a game with Charlie. First, they picked Briggs’ pockets and gave him back the contents. Then they moved around the rest of the group in turn, picking everyone else’s. Emilia was delighted when no one realized they’d been robbed.
“If you ever get tired of being a princess, there’s a whole new career path for you,” Jaeger said.
There was much more traffic on the road now; merchants going to and from Ausburg, farmers and soldiers on the Empire’s business. The post coach thundered by, forcing them to move out of its way; the thing would not slow down even for the Mother and Child themselves.
They paced their progress so they would arrive at the city at the busiest time, just before sunset, when no one would look at them twice. Just outside the city walls there was a commotion. At the side of the road stood a pile of rocks, high as two men, with a large stone Eressian Cross on the top. At the base of this monument a woman clad in black was weeping, face hidden in a handkerchief. A man, also in black, knelt, both hands on the base, caressing two stones. An elderly woman sobbed quietly, wiping tears off her wrinkled face with the back of her hand. Two small children were looking at the stones, knowing they had to be there, not really understanding why.
All the color drained from Jaeger’s face. Regina had seen such memorials before, but this one was new: the earth not quite settled underneath, the cross freshly carved, with no weathering or lichen. Regina could just make out scratches on the rocks, the names of fallen soldiers.
“Wait here,” Jaeger said, and made his way over to the monument. Morgenstern and Schaefer followed; the rest waited. Emilia was subdued. The three Eressians came back after a few minutes. Schaefer's face was a mixture of anger and disbelief. Jaeger was stone-faced, but Regina could see fury simmering, his mouth a tight line, his nostrils flaring. Morgenstern looked ill.
“I should go and pay my respects too,” Emilia said.
“No. I think we should move on before it gets too late,” Morgenstern said. Jaeger nodded.
“Why have they only just put it up?” Emilia asked. “The war's been over for years.”
“Money’s been tight. The city has just managed to gather enough to erect it,” Jaeger said.
Emilia nodded and they slowly moved on.
“What was that?” Regina asked when Emilia was out of earshot.
Jaeger’s gaze went to the Eressian Cross and then to the rocks.
“Death. Our Death,” he said.
68 ONE LAST NIGHT
THEY stopped for the night at The Fat Ox, outside the city walls. The innkeeper took a long look at the state of them, but eventually invited them and their money in. His wife, a thin woman full of nervous energy, told them she had three rooms left which they could share. The rest could sleep in the dining room after the inn closed. Briggs said he didn’t care: as long as he could have a bath, shave, and eat fit to burst. Regina figured there was enough time for them all to go to the public baths, and for the men to then visit the barbers for a shave and a haircut. Emilia and Rosamynd had never visited a public bath before and asked if they could bathe in their room. Regina forbade it: she was unwilling to let them out of her sight so close to the finish line.
After a relaxing bath, they all gathered back at the inn. Jaeger scrubbed up very nicely. Briggs happily stroked his freshly shaped whiskers. They sat next to the fire for their dinner. Not even complaining about the pickled cabbage, they dipped slices of fresh bread into beef stew, took big bites out of sausages and potatoes, and drank beer to capacity. Jaeger ordered a bottle of brandy that was passed around. When Emilia and Rosamynd were falling asleep in their seats, Regina suggested it might be time for them to go to bed. Regina, Jaeger, Schaefer and Morgenstern soon followed them upstairs.
“I need ten minutes with Max,” Morgenstern said to the women. “We have things we need to talk about before tomorrow.”
Regina shrugged and went with Schaefer into the next room.
Morgenstern didn't speak for a few minutes; Jaeger waited patiently
“I’m sorry, my old friend,” Morgenstern finally said. “I would like to ask you to forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive you for,” Jaeger said.
“But there is.”
Jaeger passed Morgenstern his hip flask, freshly refilled with a low-quality brandy.
“I was angry with you, Max. For so many years. The brightest of us all, the best in the class, we all expected you to sail through the ranks, cover yourself and our motherland in glory. Then you threw it away, so unexpectedly, in Hildenburg. When I heard they had you, on charges of insubordination–” Morgenstern’s mouth was a thin line. A vein in his temple throbbed. “You saw it years before I did: their madness; the bloodbath for nothing. No honor and glory of the motherland, just food for their vanity and gratification. I saw it laid bare today in the stones. How could he, Max? The officers are responsible for the conduct of the regiment. They take due glory - and they take due punishment. The officers.”
“I– I don’t know what to say, Valerian,” Jaeger answered. “It might have been you who was right all along. I have been angry with myself for so long. How could I disobey direct orders? I was going to do what they said. We had the prisoners all rounded up. We needed the footwear so I ordered them to take their boots off, pile them high. The pile, so large. So many. So, so many. I just c
ouldn’t.”
He paused and drew breath.
“There was only one honorable way out and I briefly considered it. But I had my family: there was no one else left. For their sake I had to do what I did, and take the consequences alone. There was no other way.”
“Duty, Honor, Service,” Morgenstern said, bitterly. “To whom?”
“To Eressia, Valerian.”
There was a sharp knock at the door and Regina and Schaefer came in.
“Had you finished? Bad time?” Regina asked, seeing the expression on their faces.
“No.” Morgenstern said. “We’ve got a lot to talk about. Especially you, Arlanza.”
Schaefer let out a sigh and sat. The bed made a faint creek. “I suppose there’s no use hiding anything now - since none of us will be alive tomorrow. But you must give me your word: reveal none of this, or many more good people will die.”
“We might trade this information for our lives. Aren’t you afraid?” Regina asked.
“From what I’ve gathered about you these past months, I believe you are honorable. If you give me your word, you will keep it, I believe. Not that it will do you much good to tell, and it would not spare your lives. Our good Emperor’s vindictive. He does not forgive failure.”
“Upon my honor as a Captain of the Merrovigian Royal Army, I give you my word,” Regina said. Schaefer nodded. Jaeger and Morgenstern gave their words too. Schaefer only needed Regina’s; she knew the other two would never break that confidence.
“There have been two factions growing in Eressia since the war,” Schaefer began. “One blindly loyal to the Emperor, the traditionalists; nothing can make them lose faith in the Emperor. The Revisionists, on the other hand, believe steps should be taken towards change. The motherland suffers since the war; the reparations bled us dry; trade with Merrovigia has not been properly resumed; and we are laden with unfair taxes and harsh justice.”
“What would kidnapping Rosamynd achieve?” Regina asked.
“The Emperor and his advisors in the council have come to a trade agreement with Merrovigia. It is a trade agreement we must not have, for we stand to lose too much. We thought that holding Rosamynd and Emilia would make them reconsider. All went wrong when the Black Fox attacked instead of our own men.”
Regina knitted her fingers together. Something didn’t fit. “You knew that Emilia would be coming along?”
“We made sure of it.”
“It didn’t occur to you that the Emperor would be enraged by the kidnapping of his sister? She would be a young unmarried woman, unchaperoned, in the company of men of dubious character.”
“She would not be unchaperoned. Not her, nor Rosamynd. My sister would have been with them, and myself. All the men were of high moral caliber.”
“It would still leave a stain on her reputation.”
“Soon forgotten.”
“Bull!” Regina said vehemently. “What are you not telling us? This isn’t about Rosamynd! It was never about Rosamynd, was it?”
Schaefer covered her face with her hands, then she stood up. “Those two ask fewer questions; you are no one’s fool. It is treason to think it, high treason to say it aloud - yet we did it anyway, because we believe in the greater good of the motherland - but if he continues the way he’s ruling now, this Emperor is not long for ruling. The trade agreement would marry Emilia to a Merrovigian prince to cultivate peaceful relations between our nations. She would lose the right of succession. Thereby there would be no other option but to accept the rule of the Emperor: we could not have that! We would rather lose the trade agreement, and keep the option of Emilia open. Our plan was to sully her reputation just enough to stop this marriage. I believe it has succeeded.”
Regina was speechless. This high treason now involved Merrovigia. “Which prince?” she asked.
“Prince Michael, the Empress of Merrovigia’s nephew.”
“And for this, you are all prepared to die?”
Schaefer looked at her defiantly. Jaeger and Morgenstern remained silent.
“Idiots!” Regina exclaimed. “All of you.” She paced up and down the small room. Something still wasn’t making sense, although people had died for less sense than this. “If we’re going to die tomorrow, we might as well have another drink,” Regina said. “I’m going downstairs. Anybody else?”
Jaeger nodded and turned to Morgenstern. “Nightcap?”
“We’ll come down later. We have some things to settle between us.”
Regina and Jaeger left the room.
Morgenstern turned his attention to Schaefer. “And now, Arza. All of the truth.”
She smiled at him. “Not as stupid as you look.”
He remained serious. “Not completely, no.”
Her expression changed. “I think you have begun to see the truth. There is no salvation for us, Valerian. He shot the entire column of Hussars that accompanied us. All of them; we just passed their graves.” She shook her head. “Where is the honor in that?”
“I was leading them. It should have been me,” Morgenstern said, a muscle in his left cheek twitching.
“It will be you tomorrow. Don’t you see why he has to go? Why we must put Emilia in his place? It doesn’t matter what we had to give up with this treaty. It wasn’t Lothaer who came up with that peaceful agreement, it was his council. They made a good agreement, but we must make sacrifices. Big ones. It is better to keep Emilia in Eressia. Other opportunities will come. Maybe trade. Maybe in ten years we shall marry Lothaer’s daughter to a Merrovigian prince. Or maybe there will be another war and we’ll take back what is ours.”
“Another war? Has there not been enough death and destruction?”
“You are not a weak man, Valerian. Do not speak like one,” Schaefer said, stepping closer. Morgenstern did not move away.
“I understand why you and the others are doing this,” Morgenstern said. “But my oath is to serve the Emperor. What kind of man would it make me if I take back my word?”
“When he does not do his duty to the country, then your allegiance is annulled.”
“We can’t just keep the promises that suit us, Arza. Once made, we can’t pick and choose. An oath must be kept.”
Schaefer remained silent.
“I was the commanding officer. There’s still time to fix things,” he said.
Schaefer smiled sadly. “There is no fixing this.”
“There’s no proof of conspiracy. Unless we confess to it, which we won’t.”
Schaefer put her arms around him, fighting back tears.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered, “you never cry.” She wiped her eyes. “It was set up like this from the beginning,” Morgenstern went on. “It would have been me or Jaeger to take the blame. Or perhaps both.” He bent down and kissed her. “Sometimes Duty, Honor, Sacrifice,” he said, “is all it is. We still have tonight.”
After drinks and returning to their rooms, Regina got into bed. Jaeger put his hand around her waist. He thought she would close her eyes and sleep, as always. This time she turned and kissed him. He kissed her back. He wondered aloud if tomorrow they would die. Apparently, they weren’t easily killed, but no one ever said they couldn’t die. How about in front of the firing squad where the Emperor wouldn’t hesitate to put them? As they kissed and touched, neither willed things to stop. Desire, yearning, their lust was undeniable. She kissed his neck, one hand in his hair, the other on his back, gently stroking his scars. He’d forgotten how this was supposed to feel: he’d spent so long throwing money at touch, paying to satisfy need. He wanted her touch, he needed her touch, to make him feel again, to make him human again, to remind him what it was to be loved again. He realized something he'd never realized before: how empty his soul had become. It was as if to date he’d been witnessing his life underwater. Now he had much to lose.
They strove to become one.
“Maxy, Maxy,” she whispered in his ear. Then another thing. A precious thing. She sighed for him, breathed in deeply,
until they were both satiated. She held his full weight for a few moments at the end. He rolled to the side, still holding her. He had wanted her, all of her, for so long; now he felt a great need was satisfied, making him whole again. He wanted to never let her go, to always look at her face. Slowly, he was getting a portion of his mind back. She nuzzled into the space between his shoulder and his neck.
What she had said, he wondered if it was better she hadn’t. But she had, even if it had been in the throes of passion, and he could not ignore it. She had said she loved him. He’d never dared hope to hear such words from her, whatever his own feelings. Now they had a name. How could he ever show that his love for her was as deep as an ocean?
“A copper for your thoughts,” Regina said softly. He didn’t trust himself to speak, in case he said something stupid and ruined it all.
“Surely they’re worth more?” he said. She pretended to consider whether they were. He laughed.
“You are an amazing woman, Regina Fitzwaters.”
“And you are a kind, brave and generous man,” she said, stroking his cheek. He went red in the face. He realized how much he’d hungered for a kind word. He gave her the most genuine smile he’d ever given.
“That’s a big responsibility you’re putting on my shoulders. I’ll have to be careful not to disappoint you.”
“Aahh,” she said, and stretched, “you’ll be alright. I have faith in you.”
His heart grew two sizes.
69 I’LL FOLLOW YOU
REGINA went downstairs early next morning with a feeling that something in the world had irrevocably changed. The team was back in their Merchant Blades blue coats, eating a hearty breakfast. There was a faint melancholy in the air, even as Briggs bit into a large sausage.
“So many battles in the war, and the Eressians finally got us with a contract,” he said. If it was meant as a joke to brighten the mood, it failed miserably. Charlie burst into tears, jumped up and ran from the table.