by Diana Palmer
“Do you really?” Her aunt pursed her lips as her keen ears caught the sound of a car pulling up in the driveway. “Finish your hot cocoa, dear. I’ll go and see who that is driving up out front.”
For just a few seconds, Kasie hoped it would be Gil, come to give her back her job. But that would take a miracle. Her life had changed all over again. She was just going to have to accept it and get a new job. Something would turn up somewhere, surely.
She heard voices in the living room. One of them was deep and slow, and she shivered with emotion as she realized that she wasn’t dreaming. She got up and went into the living room. And there he was.
Gil stopped talking midsentence and just looked at Kasie. She was wearing old jeans and a faded T-shirt, with her hair around her shoulders. He’d missed her more than he thought he could miss anyone. His heart filled with just the sight of her.
“I believe you, uh, know each other,” Mama Luke said mischievously.
“Yes, we do,” Kasie said. She recalled the fury in his pale eyes as he accused her of causing Bess’s accident, the fury as he fired her. It was too painful to go through again, and he didn’t look as if he’d come to make any apologies. She turned away miserably. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to clean up,” she called over her shoulder.
“Kasie...!” Gil called angrily.
She kept walking down the hall to her room, and she closed and locked the door. The pain was just too much. She couldn’t bear the condemnation in his eyes.
Gil muttered under his breath. “Well, so much for wishful thinking,” he said almost to himself.
“Come along and have some hot cocoa, Mr. Callister,” Mama Luke said with a gentle smile. “I think you and I have a lot to talk about.”
He followed her into the small, bright kitchen with its white and yellow accents. She motioned him into a chair at the table while she poured the still-hot cocoa into a mug and offered it to him.
“I’m Sister Luke,” she introduced herself, noting his sudden start. “Yes, that’s right, I’m a nun. My order doesn’t wear the habit. I work with a health outreach program in this community.”
He sipped cocoa, feeling as if more revelations were in store, and that he wasn’t going to like them.
She sipped her own cocoa. He was obviously waiting for her to speak again. He studied her quietly, his blue eyes troubled and faintly disappointed at Kasie’s reception.
“She’s still grieving,” she told Gil. “She didn’t give it enough time before she started back to work. I tried to tell her, but young people are so determined these days.”
He latched on to the word. “Grieving?”
“Yes.” Her dark eyes were quiet and soft as they met his. “Her twin, Kantor, and his wife and little girl died three months ago.”
His breath caught. “In an airplane crash,” he said, recalling what Kasie had said.
“Airplane crash?” Her eyes widened. “Well, I suppose you could call it that, in a manner of speaking. Their light aircraft was shot down—”
“What?” he exploded.
She frowned. “Don’t you know anything about Kasie?”
“No. I don’t. Not one thing!”
She let out a whistle. “I suppose that explains some of the problem. Perhaps if you knew about her background...” She leaned back in her chair. “Her parents were lay missionaries to Africa. While they were working there, a rebel uprising occurred and they were killed.” She nodded at his look of horror. “I had already taken my vows by then, and I was the only family that Kasie and Kantor had left. I arranged to have them come to me, and I enrolled them in the school where I was teaching, and living, at the time. In Arizona,” she added. “Kantor wanted nothing more than to fly airplanes. He studied flying while he was in school and later went into partnership with a friend from college. They started a small charter service. There was an opportunity in Africa for a courier service, so he decided to go there and set up a second headquarters for the company. While he was there, he married and had a little girl, Sandy. She and Lise, Kantor’s wife, came and stayed with Kasie and me while Kasie was going through secretarial school. Kantor didn’t want them with him just then, because there was some political trouble. It calmed down and he came and rejoined his family. He wanted to bring everyone home to Africa.”
She grimaced. “Kasie didn’t want him to go back. She said it was too risky, especially for Lise and Sandy. She adored Sandy...” She hesitated, and took a steadying breath, because the memory was painful. “Kantor told her to mind her own business, and they all left. That same week, a band of guerrillas attacked the town where he had his business. He got Lise and Sandy in the plane and was flying them to a nearby town when someone fired a rocket at them. They all died instantly.”
“My God,” he said huskily.
“Kasie took it even harder because they’d argued. It took weeks for her to be able to discuss it without breaking down. She’d graduated from secretarial college and I insisted that she go to work, not because of money, but because it was killing her to sit and brood about Kantor.”
He wrapped both hands around the cocoa mug and stared into the frothy liquid. “I knew there was something,” he said quietly. “But she never talked about anything personal.”
“She rarely does, except with me.” She studied him. “She said that your wife died in a riding accident and that you have two beautiful little girls.”
“They hate me,” he said matter-of-factly. “I fired Kasie.” He shrugged and smiled faintly. “John, my brother, isn’t even speaking to me.”
“They’ll get over it.”
“They may. I won’t.” He wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I thought I might persuade her to come back. I suppose that’s a hopeless cause?”
“She’s hurt that you misjudged her,” she explained. “Kasie loves children. It would never occur to her to leave them in any danger.”
“I know that. I knew it then, too, but I was out of my mind with fear. I suppose I lashed out. I don’t know much about families,” he added, feeling safe with this stranger. He looked up at her. “My brother and I were never part of one. Our parents had a governess for us until we were old enough to be sent off to school. I can remember months going by when we wouldn’t see them or hear from them. Even now,” he added stiffly, “they only contact us when they think of some new way we can help them make money.”
She slid a wrinkled hand over his. “I’m sorry,” she said gently. She removed her hand and pushed a plate of cookies toward him. “Comfort food,” she said with a gleeful smile. “Indulge yourself.”
“Thanks.” He bit into a delicious lemon cookie.
“Kasie says you love your girls very much, and that you never leave them with people you don’t trust. She’s hating herself because she did leave them against her better judgment. She blames herself for the accident.”
He sighed. “It wasn’t her fault. Not really.” His eyes glittered. “She wanted to have lunch with a man she met on the plane. A good-looking, young man,” he added bitterly. “Pauline admitted causing the accident, but I was hot because Kasie was upset about flying and I didn’t know it until it was too late. She was sitting all by herself.” His face hardened. “If I’d known what you just told me, we’d have gone by boat. I’d never have subjected her to an airplane ride. But Kasie keeps secrets. She doesn’t talk about herself.”
“Neither do you, I think,” she replied.
He shrugged and picked up another cookie. “She looks worn,” he remarked.
“I’ve had her working in my garden,” she explained. “It’s good therapy.”
He smiled. “I work cattle for therapy. My brother and I have a big ranch here in Montana. We wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
“I like animals.” She sipped cocoa.
So did he. He looked at her over the mug. “Kasie mentioned she was named for
the mercenary K.C. Kanton.”
She raised an eyebrow amusedly. “That’s right. I’m not sure how much she told you, but when Jackie, her mother, was carrying her, there was a guerrilla attack on the mission. Bob, my brother-in-law, was away with a band of workers building a barn for a neighboring family. They’d helped a wounded mercenary soldier hide from the same guerrillas, part of an insurgent group that wanted to overthrow the government. He was well enough to get around by then, and he got Jackie out of the mission and through the jungle to where Bob was. Kasie and Kantor were born only a day later. And that’s why she was named for K.C. Kantor.”
“They both were named for him,” he realized. “Amazing. What I’ve heard about Kantor over the years doesn’t include a generous spirit or unselfishness.”
“That may be true. But he pays his debts. He’d still like to take care of Kasie,” she added with a soft chuckle. “She won’t let him. She’s as independent as my sister used to be.”
It disturbed him somehow that Kasie was cherished by another man who could give her anything she wanted. “He must be a great deal older than she is,” he murmured absently.
“He doesn’t have those kind of feelings for her,” she said quietly, and there was pain in her soft eyes. “He missed out on family life and children. I think he’s sorry about that now. He tried to get her to come and stay with him in Mexico until she got over losing her twin, but she wouldn’t go.”
“One of her other character references was a Catholic priest.”
She nodded. “Father Vincent, in Tucson, Arizona. He was the priest for our small parish.” She sighed. “Kasie hasn’t been to mass since her brother died. I’ve been so worried about her.”
“She mentioned taking the girls with her to church,” Gil said after a minute. “If I can get her to come back to work for me, it might be the catalyst to help her heal.”
“It might at that,” she agreed.
Gil took another cookie and nibbled it. “These are good.”
“My one kitchen talent,” she said. “I can make cookies. Otherwise, I live on TV dinners and the kindness of friends who can cook.”
He sipped cocoa and thought. “How can I get her to go back with me?” he asked after a minute.
“Tell her the girls are crying themselves to sleep at night,” she suggested gently. “She misses Sandy even more than her twin. She and the little girl were very close.”
“She’s close to my girls,” he remarked with a reminiscent smile. “If there’s a storm or they get frightened in the night, I can always find them curled up in Kasie’s arms.” His voice seemed to catch on the words. He averted his eyes toward the hallway. “The light went out of the house when she left it.”
She wondered if he even realized what he was saying. Probably not. Men seemed to miss things that women noticed at once.
“I’ll go and get her,” she said, pushing back her chair. “You can sit by my fishpond and talk with the goldfish.”
“My uncle used to have one,” he recalled, standing. “I haven’t had one built because of the girls. When they’re older, I’d like to put in another one.”
“I had to dig it myself, and I’m not the woman I used to be. It’s only a little over a foot deep. One of my neighbors gave me his used pond heater when he bought a new one. It keeps my four goldfish alive all winter long.” She moved to the door. “It’s just outside the back door, near the birdbath. I’ll send Kasie out to you.”
He went out, his hands in his pockets, thinking how little he’d known about Kasie. It might be impossible for them to regain the ground they’d lost, but he wanted to try. His life was utterly empty without her in it.
* * *
Mama Luke knocked gently at Kasie’s door and waited until it opened. Kasie looked at her guiltily.
“I was rude. I’m sorry,” she told the older woman.
“I didn’t come to fuss,” Mama Luke said. She touched Kasie’s disheveled hair gently. “I want you to go out and talk to Mr. Callister. He feels bad about the things he said to you. He wants you to go back to work for him.”
Kasie gave her aunt a belligerent look. “In his dreams,” she muttered.
“The little girls miss you very much,” she said.
Kasie grimaced. “I miss them, too.”
“Go on out there and face your problem squarely,” Mama Luke coaxed. “He’s a reasonable man, and he’s had a few shocks today. Give him a chance to make it up to you. He’s nice,” she added. “I like him.”
“You like everybody, Mama Luke,” Kasie said softly.
“He’s out by the goldfish pond. And don’t push him in,” she added with a wicked little smile.
Kasie chuckled. “Okay.”
She took a deep breath and went down the hall. But her hands trembled when she opened the back door and walked outside. She hadn’t realized how much she was going to miss Gil Callister until she was out of his life. Now she had to decide whether or not to risk going back. It wasn’t going to be an easy decision.
Chapter Nine
Gil was sitting on the small wooden bench overlooking the rock-bordered oval fishpond, his elbows resting on his knees as he peered down thoughtfully into the clear water where water lilies bloomed in pink and yellow profusion. He looked tired, Kasie thought, watching him covertly. Maybe he’d been away on business and not on holiday with Pauline after all.
He looked up when he heard her footsteps. He got to his feet. He looked elegant even in that yellow polo shirt and beige slacks, she thought. He wasn’t at all handsome, but his face was masculine and he had a mouth that she loved kissing. She averted her eyes until she was able to control the sudden impulse to run to him. Wouldn’t that shock him, she thought sadly.
He looked wary, and he wasn’t smiling. He studied her for a long time, as if he’d forgotten what she looked like and wanted to absorb every detail of her.
“How are the girls?” she asked quietly. “Is Bess going to be all right?”
“Bess is fine,” he replied. “She told me everything.” He grimaced. “Even Pauline admitted that she’d told you to go and have lunch with what’s-his-name, and she’d watch the girls. She said she slipped and tripped Bess. I imagine it’s the truth. She’s never been much of a liar, regardless of her faults,” he returned, his voice flat, without expression. “They told me you phoned the hospital to make sure Bess was all right.”
“I was worried,” she said, uneasy.
He toyed with the change in his pocket, making it jingle. “Bess wanted you, in the hospital. When I told her you’d gone home, she and Jenny both started crying.” The memory tautened his face. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry that I blamed you.”
She’d never wanted to believe anything as much as that apology. But it was still disturbing that he’d accused her without proof, that he’d assumed Bess’s accident was her fault. She wanted to go back in the house. But that wouldn’t solve the problem. She had to try and forget. He was here and he’d apologized. They had to go from there. “It’s all right,” she said after a minute, her eyes on the fish instead of him. “I understand. You can’t help it that you don’t like me.”
“Don’t...like you?” he asked. The statement surprised him.
She toyed with the hem of her shirt. “You never wanted to hire me in the first place, really,” she continued. “You looked at me as if you hated me the minute you saw me.”
His eyes were thoughtful. “Did I?” He didn’t want to pursue that line of conversation. It was too new, too disturbing, after having realized how he felt about her. “Why do you call your aunt Mama Luke?” he asked to divert her.
“Because when I was five, I couldn’t manage Sister Mary Luke Bernadette,” she replied. “She was Mama Luke from then on.”
He winced. “That’s a young age to lose both parents.”
“That’s why I know how Be
ss and Jenny feel,” she told him.
His expelled breath was audible. “I’ve made a hell of a mess of it, haven’t I, Kasie?” he asked somberly. “I jumped to the worst sort of conclusions.”
She moved awkwardly to the other side of the fishpond and wrapped her arms around her body. “I wasn’t thinking straight. I knew you didn’t trust Pauline to take care of the girls, but I let myself be talked into leaving them with her. You were right. Bess could have drowned and it would have been my fault.”
“Stick the knife right in, don’t be shy,” he said through his teeth. His blue eyes glittered. “God knows, I deserve it.”
Her eyes met his, wide with curiosity. “I don’t understand.”
She probably didn’t. “Never mind.” He stuck his hands into his pockets. “I fired Pauline.”
“But...!”
“It wasn’t completely because of what happened in Nassau. I need someone full-time,” he interrupted. “She only wanted the job in the first place so that she could be near me.”
The breeze blew her hair across her mouth. She pushed it back behind her ear. “That must have been flattering.”
“It was, at first,” he agreed. “I’ve known Pauline for a long time, and her attention was flattering. However, regardless of how Bess fell into the water, Pauline didn’t make a move to rescue her. I can’t get over that.”
Kasie understood. She’d have been in the pool seconds after Bess fell in, despite the fact that she couldn’t swim.
His piercing blue eyes caught hers. “Yes, I know. You’d have been right in after her,” he said softly, as if he’d read the thought in her mind. “Even if you’d had to be rescued as well,” he added gently.
“People react differently to desperate situations,” she said.
“Indeed they do.” His eyes narrowed. “I want you to come back. So do the girls. I’ll do whatever it takes. An apology, a raise in salary, a paid vacation to Tahiti...”