'Oh, Alex, do leave me alone!' she cried wildly, nearly at the end of her endurance. He was so near, his shoulder touching hers, and his familiar magnetism was having its usual effect upon her, but honour, Renata, her self-respect were barriers not to be overcome for a moment's gratification, and as for Alex, he was behaving reprehensibly, but that was nothing new.
'I may be homely and dowdy, but ... Oh, do go away!'
He slipped an arm about her shoulders.
'Poor little Jan, you really are exhausted,' he said kindly. 'Kiss me goodnight and I'll let you go.'
'No, Alex, your kisses belong elsewhere.'
'But you're going to be my little cousin. Don't cousins kiss?'
The words smote her, she could not look upon him as a kinsman, but to continue to deny him would only provoke a demonstration she did not want. She knew his persistence.
'Oh, very well,' she said ungraciously, and held up her face.
He drew her closer and gently touched her lips. The contact produced no sudden flare of passion as it had done upon former occasions. She was too weary and he ... he belonged to Renata now. With a shamed regret for the death of his passion, she had to accept that he meant what he had said. She was to be his little cousin now, a creature to be treated with condescending affection, and she could not bear it.
With his arm still about her shoulders he guided her ~ back towards her room, and on its threshold he removed it.
'Sleep well... Jan.'
He gently pushed her inside and closed the doors behind her. The action was symbolical, the finish of whatever if anything had been between them.
Blindly Jan groped her way towards her bed and flung herself down upon it She did not know how she was going to endure the next few days, seeing Alex every morning, knowing only a wall divided them at night. She clenched her hands in an agony of loss, until her common sense reasserted itself. How could she lose what she had never had? Nor should she grieve for a man who had in all his dealings with her shown himself to be tyrannical and unfeeling. Between Renata and his business their future contacts would be few, and Jeremy could not stay long in Istanbul.
The habit of years reasserted itself. She was plain Janet Reynolds whom no one considered and everyone made use of. Tomorrow she would revert to her dowdy dresses and her hair in a bun, and if she found Alex was at home, she would feign illness or stay in her room. When she reached England she would strike out on her own and create a new image of herself, and with that consoling thought to sustain her, she fell asleep.
Outside the moon shone brightly on the Bosphorus and the dark head of the man who leant over his balcony smoking innumerable cheroots, throwing the stubs on to the terrace to be collected by enterprising native boys before anyone was astir in the morning. Jan was not the only one who had problems to solve.
CHAPTER EIGHT
No pretence of illness was necessary, for Jan found that Alex left the house early before she had finished the coffee brought to her room and did not return until she had gone to bed. Business occupied his day, Lydia told her, and the evenings presumably were devoted to taking Renata out. There was plenty of night life in Istanbul which would appeal to Renata after her quiet sojourn in Kusadasi. Time hung heavy on Jan's hands, for she was used to being busy for most of the day. Lydia was immersed in her own concerns and beyond typing a few notes for her, there was little Jan could do to help her. As it was the permanent secretary, Maria, eyed her malevolently, suspecting she might be superseded, and was deaf to Jan's assurances that her presence was only temporary. What was so trying was that his enforced leisure provided no distraction from her thoughts of Alex and her yearning to see him again. They were living in the same house, but he avoided her as assiduously as she kept out of his way. It would be sheer folly to seek to encounter him, for, absorbed in Renata, he had probably forgotten Jan's existence and would have nothing to say to her. Her uncle was equally neglectful, as he never came to the house by the Bosphorus. If he needed any clerical work doing, Alex must have provided him with a typist. During the three days that elapsed since her arrival, Jan had plenty of time to reflect upon her redundancy and she was impatient to return to London and set about finding a congenial job.
She had dinner with Mrs. Leandris in the evenings, and was on edge all the time in case Alex appeared, but he never did. Lydia's conversation was impersonal for the most part, though she did try to draw Jan out about her former life, but there was little to tell her, it had been so uneventful. Lunch Jan ate in solitary grandeur, as her hostess was usually out. She had little energy for sightseeing, for the weather was hot and it was dull doing it on her own.
Coming down on the fourth morning, arrayed in the most presentable of her cotton frocks, for she had lost all inclination to purchase something more dressy, she was surprised and disconcerted to find Alex sprawling in a lounger on the terrace. He sprang up as she halted in the doorway of the french window, uncertain whether to advance or retreat. Her heart had leaped at the sight of him, and as she half turned, he came towards her evidently intending to intercept her. He was wearing shorts and a sleeveless shirt, and the informal garb revealed his long, supple limbs which for so dark a man showed very little hair and were as smooth as the marble of which the statues of his ancestors were made. Jan disliked hirsute men, and Alex could have modelled for Apollo or Narcissus. She became aware of her shapeless lemon shift and knotted hair, and was sure she was appearing at her worst, and his expression bore that out.
'So you've reverted to the prim spinster of Kusadasi days,' he observed, and he made spinster sound like a dirty word.
'I ... I thought you'd have gone to work,' Jan stammered inadequately, every nerve in her body conscious of his presence. 'Is it a holiday ... or something?'
'Not that I know of. Missed me?' The yellow cat's eyes were probing.
She had missed him unbearably, but that she could not confess.
'Not really, there's been too much to do and see,' she said evasively, though it was not true, and his face went blank. His hands went to her head, loosening her hair so that it fell about her shoulders, and he stepped back to view the result.
'That's a little better, though it makes you look about twelve. Are you sure you're not mistaken about your age?'
'Quite sure.' She gathered up her stray locks in one hand. 'I've decided I'm going to have all this cut off.'
'Don't you dare! I like it.'
'It's inconvenient, and soon you'll be far away, so it won't affect: you.' Inadvertently a note of desolation crept into her voice, and Alex marked it with a gleam of satisfaction in his eyes.
'Don't you be too sure of that.'
Ignoring this remark, Jan walked sedately to a distant canvas chair, and seating herself, tried unsuccessfully to knot up her hair again, but her pins and grips were scattered, and letting it fall again, she folded her hands demurely in her lap and said severely:
'For an engaged man you're showing too much interest in my appearance, Mr. Leandris.'
'Is an engaged man necessarily blind?'
'Yes, to all but his fiancée's charms.'
Alex laughed merrily. 'Jan, Jan, where do you get your ideas from?' He indicated the lounger. 'Come and sit over here instead of isolating yourself. We can't talk with the width of the terrace between us.'
Jan declined this invitation with a shake of her head.
'Are you officially engaged yet?' she demanded anxiously.
'I'm never officially anything.'
She sighed; he was being evasive.
'You're prevaricating,' she accused him. 'I like situations to be defined in black and white.'
'In my case, they're always black, aren't they? Come over here.'
He seated himself on the lounger, which was of the hammock variety with a double seat and a canopy to shade it from the sun. It swung gently as his weight came down upon it. He patted the space beside him invitingly.
'I'm quite comfortable where I am.'
'That you're not.
The sun is scorching you. Must I come and fetch you?'
There was a faint menace in his tone and Jan glanced apprehensively towards the house wondering if Mrs. Leandris was watching them. Alex caught the direction of her glance and grinned.
'My mother's out,' he informed her. 'The servants are about their business, or should be, so there's no one to see you if you imagine you're being indiscreet. Come along.'
Jan rose reluctantly. She knew him well enough to be sure he would carry out his threat if she continued to be obdurate. It was more dignified to comply than be dragged across the terrace! She sat down as far away from him as the double seat allowed.
'What a tyrant you are!' she sighed.
He grinned. 'Chauvinist pig?' he suggested.
'Exactly.'
He leaned back in his corner regarding her sensuously.
'You look pale, little one, the heat tries you?'
'A little, and I'm finding my position a bit difficult. I'll be thankful to get back to England. How long does Uncle intend to stay here?'
Alex shrugged his shoulders. 'You'd better ask him.'
'I never see him.'
Alex picked up a strand of her hair and became absorbed in winding it round his finger.
'He neglects you?'
'I suppose he's got other things to think about, you know he forgets all practical matters when he's interested in something.'
'And I, of course, have only time for Renata.'
'That's as it should be.'
'Well, eventually we may get round to considering your predicament. It's no great hardship, Jan, to spend a few days relaxing in this beautiful place.'
'But I feel it's time I was doing something,' she protested.
'Such as?'
'Looking for a job.'
'A job?' He raised his brows. 'You don't need a job, you live with your uncle, don't you?'
'There's no future for me with Uncle Jeremy. It's time I struck out on my own.'
'I don't wish you to go out to work,' he told her, frowning. 'I've other plans for you.'
'But I'm no responsibility of yours,' she returned. 'Even if you are going to be my cousin. I'm quite capable of fending for myself, thank you very much.' She moved her head. 'Please let go of my hair, you're hurting me.'
- He gave her hair a quick tug. 'As you deserve to be.'
'What have I done now?' She pinched his fingers to make him free her.
'Been singularly obtuse,' he told her, releasing her hair.
Jan swept her locks together and threw them back over her shoulder out of his reach. She was very conscious of his thigh, only inches from her own, and the shapely brown arm now lying across her lap. Her heart was beating fast, and she could not raise her eyes to meet his mocking gaze.
'You, as usual, are behaving abominably,' she said sharply.
'But entirely in character?' he suggested.
'Where's Rena?' Jan asked to divert him.
Again he shrugged. 'Shopping, I believe.'
That also was entirely in character.
'I knew she couldn't resist the bazaar,' Jan observed. 'But why aren't you with her? She shouldn't be wandering about alone.'
'She isn't alone, she's found kindred spirits in the hotel, and I loathe shopping.'
'The presence of the beloved should sweeten it.'
'Not when the beloved is so engrossed in her purchases that she has no time for me except to demand the amount in my wallet'
'Rena is extravagant,' Jan admitted, not liking his tone. 'But doesn't it give you pleasure to indulge her?'
'I'm ready to indulge anyone when I'm sure of recompense.'
'Don't pretend to be mercenary! Rena will repay you in many ways!'
'Will she?'
'But of course.'
There was something here which puzzled her. It was not like Alex to play the laggard lover, nor to grudge expenditure. She looked down at the bare arm lying across her lap, the hand belonging to it, lightly pressing her thigh. Little tremors ran through her nerves. Firmly she removed it, and he let it fall by his side between them, while the cat's eyes searched her face questioningly.
'There are some women even I find difficult to fathom,' he complained. 'And I do not welcome a rebuff.'
'The all-conquering male?' she jeered. Surely he understood Renata by now. 'Rena would never rebuff you.'
He gave an impatient sigh. 'You're being stupid, Jan ... what else did she do when she refused to join me on the Artemis}'
'Is that still rankling? I thought it was all forgiven and forgotten, now you're engaged.'
'We aren't engaged.'
'Then in God's name what are you waiting for?' Jan cried in consternation. 'Why else did you arrange for her to come here?'
Alex gave her a reproving look.
'There's no hurry,' he drawled. 'Choosing one's life partner is not a matter for haste. Surely you, my cautious Jan, appreciate that'
She did not, she was bewildered and dismayed. Why was Alex stalling at this late date?
'You're committed ...' she began.
'Am I?'
'Oh, Alex, don't be so perverse!' she exclaimed impatiently. 'You know Uncle Jeremy and your mother are expecting the announcement hourly. You've given us all to understand you mean to marry her.'
'You don't mind?' He looked at her intently.
'I'll mind very much if you let her down. You ... you've compromised her!'
Alex smiled sardonically.
'I don't think it's possible to compromise the modern miss,' he said cynically. 'Come to that, you might complain, in fact you did hint that I'd compromised you, but you don't seem to expect me to marry you.'
'That's entirely different,' Jan returned. 'I'm not worried about my reputation. Even if anyone in England gets to know about our ... little adventure, what one does on holiday doesn't count.'
Alex laughed. 'So your high principles allow you that much latitude? But if there's any doubt about a slur on your fair name, I'm quite willing to put on a quixotic act to save it from being smirched.'
Mocking, teasing and yet with a subtle undercurrent, but had she succeeded in convincing him of her indifference? If he suspected it was an act, then he was being cruel to taunt her by making such tantalising but unrealistic suggestions. Alex was cruel where women were concerned, as if he had a grudge against her sex, when in fact it had been more than kind to him.
'You know perfectly well that a union between you and me would be utterly disastrous,' she said coldly. 'We're quite unsuited, and I assure you it's not in the least necessary to put such a strain upon your chivalry.'
'Up to now you've refused to believe I possessed any.'
'Oh, I've revised my first impressions of you quite considerably,' she admitted.
'That's something.'
He leaned back, regarding her between slitted lids. The heat was increasing as the sun approached the meridian, the terrace was bathed in golden light and the scarlet geraniums in the stone urns were turned to liquid fire. The Bosphorus was flecked with sequins as the sunlight danced upon it. The place drowsed in sensuous languor, and Jan smoothed down the limp folds of her dress with a feeling of unease. She could not conceive why Alex was lingering with her when Renata must be expecting him, nor find any reason for his evocative remarks. She remembered he had once said vinegar was stimulating after a diet of sweets, or words to that effect, and he seemed to enjoy pitting his wits against hers, but they had had plenty of verbal battles before, so that was no novelty. He had claimed her as a cousin, but men did not dally with cousins when more attractive metal awaited them. She wished fervently that Lydia would return and divert him. She was reminded of the fable of the boys who stoned the frogs. The frogs complained that what was amusement to the boys was death to them. Alex found diversion in baiting her, but with every moment in his company increasing her yearning towards him, she felt her control might snap if it went on much longer.
'But your reassessment hasn't reached the point of considering
I'm — lovable?' Alex asked, and the hooded glance became eager.
Jan veiled her own eyes with her lashes, unable to sustain that piercing regard. He did seem to want a truthful answer. Long ago, she and Renata had decided that Alex might inspire a passionate devotion, but lovable seemed too cosy a word to apply to him, and why should he ask such a question of her who had every reason to despise him ... except that she did not? Then it flashed into her mind what had prompted it.
'I'm sure Rena has got over her fear and has come to love you,' she said reassuringly.
He made a grimace.
'Can't you answer a straight question without dragging in your cousin?' he demanded.
'But it's Rena's love you want,' she pointed out. 'And you, Alex, have you come to love her? Oh, I know you want her, but that's not quite the same thing. It would make such a difference to your happiness if you have,' she finished hurriedly, seeing his brows draw together and fearing she had been impertinent.
'You're being maudlin,' he returned. 'I'm rather past romantic love. Oh, I was in and out of love often enough when I was a youth, boys always are, but now I'm mature I've done with such folly.'
He threw her an almost inimical look.
'But it's nothing to be ashamed of,' Jan protested. She gave him a shrewd glance. 'Does your masculine arrogance feel that to fall in love is a weakness so you won't confess it?'
He sprang to his feet with a swift agile movement and striding to the nearest urn, began to strip the petals from the blooms with a fierce ruthlessness.
'Don't!' Jan cried, horrified by such wanton destruction. 'Those poor flowers haven't done you any harm.'
He swung round to face her and the red petals surrounding him looked like drops of blood.
'Like many an innocent I've ravished,' he gritted savagely.
'Rubbish, why do you want to make out you're a villain?'
'Still trying to whitewash me?' he sneered. He broke off a spray of bloom and twirled it between his fingers. 'You're still so young, Jan, while I ...' He stopped and looked away across the water.
'Rena is no older,' she pointed out.
'In years perhaps, but she was born sophisticated.' He threw away the spray of flowers. 'Ridiculous as it seems, I find I'm still capable of falling in love.'
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