by Lulu Pratt
“This time last year, we didn’t have half this much done.” Lily sticks a pen in her hair and stares at the whiteboards and blackboards hung around the office. “This is incredible. What’s different this year?”
“No David.” I stand next to her and mimic her pose. “Last year he was constantly getting in the way, confusing the vendors, keeping me away from it all.”
“I remember that.” Lily frowns and throws an arm around my neck. “I’m glad he’s gone.”
“You and me both.”
“Maybe now you can really take Los Angeles by storm. No man holding you back and all that.”
“You mean we.” I shoot her a friendly wink. “I am nothing in this town without you.”
“Please. I’d still be stuck serving lattes and microwaved breakfast sandwiches if it wasn’t for you. This stuff changed my life.”
“Hopefully it’ll change a lot more.” I study all the boards again and take a deep breath. “A children’s benefit usually swings big numbers, but I’m hoping for astronomical dollar signs after the year I’ve had. I want this to be my big coming out party. To show the world Kate McArthur means business, with or without a ring on her finger.”
“Ferocious like a tiger.” Lily growls at me and laughs. “I believe it will. This will put you on the map, Kate. Everyone looks forward to your events, but I really think this will be our best yet.”
We take pictures of all the boards, update all our notes, and box the completed projects away for the night. We are so much more productive right now that it’s insane. There are so many tiny ways my life is better without David.
I like that. I like knowing, no matter what happens, I’ll still be able to live my life without him. For years, I was known as his wife. Never mind I started in this town. Never mind I introduced him to my friends. David scored big with the comic book universe and it was suddenly, “Kate Who?”
It used to be that my thoughts were consumed with David and what an asshole he’s been to me. My mind would play over and over every stupid moment I later regretted. Starting with that stupid, drunken night I slept with him.
No more.
Now all I can think about is Eric, and the way he spun me around on roller skates. About the way he fills my body, both physically and emotionally. He consumes me.
Every moment I’m away from him, I ache. I actually want to go back into mediation, just to see him.
“Speaking of, kind of.” Lily turns, bright smile on her face. She’s practically vibrating, which is bizarre behaviour for her. “I met someone.”
“What?” I shriek and clamp my hands over my mouth. “I mean, what? When?”
“A few weeks ago.” She blushes. “I didn’t want to say anything because it’s been so chaotic for you and I didn’t want to make it seem like I was bragging.”
“Shut up. Lily! That’s amazing! Tell me all about him!”
“Well, it started off very low-key and quiet. One night, you left the bar early and we sort of flirted for a while. It’s been weeks of it, actually. We never exchanged numbers until last night. It’s been over a month, Kate. I thought I was going to die.”
“Worth it?”
“Very.” A huge grin cuts through her face. “He’s such a gentleman. Always bought my drinks, would never let me pay no matter how hard I tried. And girl, I tried. Slipped my credit card over early and everything. He always managed to take it. Opened the door for me, walked me to my car.”
“That’s so sweet!” I squeeze her arm. I’ve watched Lily lead a terrible dating life for years now and it’s wonderful to finally see her happy. Still, something about it hits me in all the wrong spaces. We don’t ever talk like this about Eric because we aren’t together, not really. She’d tear me apart if she learned about our date to the rink.
“It is! And weird after Bobby. I took care of everything with him for years. To have someone want to look out for me is so strange but so nice. We have so much in common, too. It’s insane, Kate. He loves the same obscure shit I do.”
“Well, that’s awfully… obscure.”
“Very funny. We were talking about all these incredibly terrible old sci-fi movies we both love and it turns out we have the same favorites. It was like my soulmate popped out of the earth and appeared on a bar stool.”
“How romantic.”
“I know it sounds so cheesy, but I thought you might understand. I’m just so freaking excited, Kate. We’re going out later tonight for the first time. Thankfully, he’s not one of those jerks who feels the need to adhere to some stupid three-day rule for calling.”
“That’s not still a thing, is it?” I ask, moderately horrified. “I mean, we’re all grownups now. Surely that’s not still something guys do.”
“It is. For certain subsets of the male species anyway.” Lily wrinkles her nose. “So, tell me about Eric. How is that going?”
“Oh.” I busy myself with reorganizing our desk to keep from meeting her very prying gaze. “Nothing really is happening. David showed up the other night, though.”
“What?” Lily’s jaw drops. “He did not. What did he say?”
“Well,” I shudder, remembering the evening more clearly than I’d like. “He came over with roses, begging to be forgiven. He cried, Lily. It was terrible. I finally agreed to talk to him and went to change. He was standing naked in my living room.”
“Naked?”
“Naked. Fully. He didn’t look like he was crying anymore, either. Go figure.”
“That man needs to be castrated.”
“That would certainly make a lot of things easier. He’s disgusting and I really hate him.”
“I don’t blame you.”
Her phone rings, of course the new man. While she chats him up, I find myself staring at my own phone, waiting for a call that won’t come. It’s like I’m living in the spaces in between my life. Things happen, but at the wrong times, or when they shouldn’t. I can’t fully enjoy anything.
Nausea sweeps over me and I excuse myself from the room for fresh air. This love business is going to kill me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
ERIC
Six in the evening rolls around. I reach into my office mini fridge and pull out a beer. At the rate Sophie stacks paper on my desk, I’m going to be here all night. I’ve been working on my other cases consistently until the last few weeks and catching up will kill me.
David has required extra babysitting. He’s been caught sneaking around Los Angeles again and I’m about to really have the asshole put under house arrest so I don’t have a heart attack from his bullshit.
I down the beer and pick up a file to review. It’s not all celebrities in my office, mostly business executives or people with daddy’s money making a marriage go away. Like it’s no big deal. Like those papers they signed and the promises they made before whatever deity they chose were meaningless.
I hate everything about marriage. It’s not sacred, it’s a billion-dollar industry. Everything from the reception to the divorce is covered in price tag stickers, and I am no exception. Hell, most people use me as a pawn in their manipulative bullshit.
As long as they pay, they can use me however they want. I’ll just sit here, silently, and grow an ulcer and loathe everything about the institution.
For one tiny, fleeting moment, Kate crosses my mind. I immediately punt it back down to the depths, because that is insanity. We had a great date. We had a great second date. But we also have a very complicated situation.
And I’m more than a little freaked I’ve started to grow weirdass feelings that violate all my core beliefs because she makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Three beers in and I’ve finally caught up on the Williamses case. Their assets are a lot simpler, but there is a kid involved. Those are my least favorite cases and I still don’t understand how I got stuck with this shit. I don’t like how people treat kids as pawns in divorces.
I didn’t always hate humanity. Once, years ago, I liked people
. I wanted to help. I went to law school. And then I met the gritty underside to humanity and wanted to watch the sky burn.
“I knew you’d still be here.” Paxton and Geoff waltz into my office. Paxton holds out a hand. “Beer me.”
I toss them both one and close the Williamses file. Reading about their custody squabbles was going to ruin my evening, so I can use the break.
“What are you assholes still doing here?”
“Same as you.” Geoff adjusts his clear lens glasses. “Pax decided we all needed a breather.”
“What we need to do is order a fuckton of shitty Chinese and pile in one of the conference rooms. I hate staying here this damn late. Makes me think work owns my soul.” Paxton scowls.
“Welcome to being an attorney.”
“Shut up, Geoff.”
“I could order some Chinese. It’s my turn, anyway.” Geoff offers. It always amazes me how unfazed he is by the verbal abuse he endures from us daily… and then he turns around and buys dinner. “I’ll grab the menus from the break room.”
Paxton watches Geoff walk out and turns on me. “What are you doing with those pictures?”
“What pictures?”
“Don’t play dumb with me. We all know what fucking pictures. The pictures you’re probably jacking off to in here every day or whatever stupid shit because you can’t nut up and handle your case like a big boy.”
“Fuck you.” I crack open another beer to steady my hands. “I’ve got like thirty cases running right now. Thirty in-depth cases that are being railroaded over by a glutton in cheap sunglasses. I’m working on it.”
“Are you? Who have you talked to about leaking the pictures?”
“I’m taking offers right now.” I lie smoothly. “I want them in the best hands. This case is bigger than the others and requires a monsoon, not just a splash.”
“Right.” Paxton crosses his arm and narrows his eyes. “I feel like a broken record around you.”
“How so?”
“Because I’m calling bullshit again.”
“Fuck off, Pax. I’ve got my people working on it while I’m getting my ass back together for these other cases. Don Williams is now leaving messages every day because he’s unhappy with how little attention he’s getting. Vivica Gattis is doing the same goddamn thing. I’m drowning in unhappy assholes right now, so cut me some slack.”
“This is what you get for sticking your dick where it doesn’t belong.”
“Oh, fuck off. I’ve slept with plenty of clients’ exes. You love to brag about that shit to all your friends back home, so don’t act so goddamn high and mighty about it now.”
“Sure, but those are always one-time events. Those are salutes to a job well done. You’re an asshole for it, but they end, Eric. How long have you been fucking with Kate now? A month? More?”
“I’ve only slept with her a few times.” I snap. “It’s not like I’m fucking her every day, okay? It’s a casual thing.”
“Quit lying to yourself or you’ll fuck your whole case.” Paxton rolls his eyes. “Do you know what David McArthur will do to you when he finds out you’ve been banging his wife? He’ll kill you.”
“He can’t touch me. That dude is all hot air. If he tries to bail on payment, I’ll just sue him. He’s so tied up in contracts he won’t be able to piss without paying me. I’ll be fine. Lay off my ass, Pax. I’m tired of your shit.”
“Tired of my shit?” Paxton’s whole tone changes. For the first time in all these tireless exchanges, he looks genuinely angry. “I’m watching you sit back and fuck over not one, but three people with this dumbass stunt of yours. Do you really not give a shit about anyone besides yourself?”
“What the fuck does that mean? If she didn’t want to fuck me, she wouldn’t fuck me. Don’t project your shitty singlehood onto me.”
“That’s rich.” Paxton snorts. “At least I’m not fucking a poor, confused woman who is dealing with her ex-husband who is trying to rob her blind.”
“You’re the asshole telling me to fuck her over with these pictures!”
“It’s like you can’t even see what’s in front of your own goddamn face.” Paxton storms out and catches Geoff at the door. “Come on, we’ll go get our own Chinese. Eric needs some time to sit and think about what he’s done.”
“Dead to me, Pax.”
“I’m not dicking around, Eric.”
The door slams behind them, leaving the office very quiet very suddenly. I hurl a pen across the room and try to convince myself it’s all bullshit anyway, but I’m just left in a twisted mess. Whatever truth there was to Paxton’s words, I don’t want to hear it.
I yank out the staged photos and flip through them again, watching Kate’s face the entire time. She doesn’t look like a poor, confused woman. She laughs and smiles with me. We’re happy together, which is more than I can say about being here.
I throw them on the desk, lock my office and head to the gym. I need to clear my head.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
KATE
“I think I like Claire’s classes better than Anna’s.” Lily pulls a shirt over her head and shoots me a look over her shoulder. “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it. You’re very right.” I pack the rest of my shower supplies in my bag and give my hair a shake. Yoga and a shower is currently all I’m living for. “She’s less judgmental than Anna, too.”
“Probably because of her media fast or whatever the hell she calls it. Ignorance is bliss.”
“And God love her for that.”
Despite hiding in my apartment and seldom coming out, the paparazzi picked up substantially over the last few days. David’s been, well, David, and people began speculating where I am and what I’m doing with my time. Go figure, I stop having sex and people start talking about it.
Vivian enjoyed her I-told-you-so speech a lot.
“Where to for lunch?” Lily asks.
We step out of the dimly lit studio into the blinding sun. It’s hot, but salt lingers in a cool breeze. My mouth waters for sushi and a mai tai on the beach. There is not a thing in the world ahi tuna wonton nachos can’t cure.
“Let’s go to Ruby’s.” I dig in my purse for my keys. I always forget to grab them when repacking my bag, and they always end up at the bottom. “I need a little fish and beach therapy after that session. Carry out the good energy vibes and all that.”
Lily stops behind me and doesn’t answer. I turn around, still rifling through my bag.
“If you’d rather go somewhere else, that’s fine. I’m just jonesing for some nachos.”
“Hello Kate.”
I freeze. Every good energy vibe I’d accrued in my hour of Bikram floods out of me and a high-pitched ringing in my ears spurs an instant headache. His mere presence is going to kill me. This has to be his plan.
“What do you want?” Lily steps in front of me and crosses her arms. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to talk to my wife.”
“Ex.” I say firmly and finally find my keys. I grasp them with a key between two fingers, just in case. “I’m not your wife anymore. Remember?”
“State doesn’t think so.”
“Matter of time.” Lily spits.
“We didn’t get a chance to talk before, Kate.” David continues like Lily didn’t say anything. “I misread the situation, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still talk.”
“Misread? That’s how you’re going to look at it?” I stare at him in disbelief. “What the hell made you think I’d sleep with you just because you showed up at my door?”
“With roses.”
“I don’t even like roses.”
“Sure you do. You always loved the roses I brought you. Don’t let this temper your memories of us, Kate. Don’t stoop that low.”
“Stoop that low?” Am I in the twilight zone? Did I really fall down the rabbit hole? “I said I’d talk to you, not that I’d sleep with you.”
“Well, it worked the night before we started mediation.”
“That was a drunken moment of weakness, you dumbass.” Lily yells. She sounds as befuddled and angry as I feel. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“This is none of your business, Lily.” David waves her off and holds out another bouquet of roses. “Kate, these are for you. Your favorites. I know this because we know each other. We loved each other once and we can do it again.”
“No, we can’t.” I swallow down the building rage. “I hate roses, David. I don’t particularly like you, either. Get off my car.”
“I’ll call the police.” Lily threatens. “They’ll come and remove your ass from the car if you won’t.”
“They won’t do shit. That car is still in my name.”
“Our name.” I snap.
“Don’t you have another girl tied up somewhere, waiting to be disappointed by your tiny dick?” Lily steps between us again. “You don’t deserve Kate and you sure as hell don’t deserve to talk to her.”
“Like she’s not fucking someone else, too.” David says it like it’s an established fact. It sends a jolt of ice through my veins. “But that doesn’t matter to me, Kate, because we belong to each other. If we need to open our marriage, then so be it. But we belong together. You can have a boyfriend on the side. It’s okay. We can make it work.”
“You’re unbelievable.” I mutter. “You are so goddamn disgusting. We aren’t getting back together! I don’t need a boyfriend on the side, I just need you out of my life. You started this, remember? You screwed around and shattered everything we had.”
“That’s because you started sleeping with someone else.” David waves me off like he did with Lily, like I was a fly who annoyed him. “You didn’t want to sleep with me anymore because you were getting it elsewhere, so I went elsewhere, too. All you have to do is sleep with me again and we can cut out everyone else on the side.”