by Erin Trejo
“They wanted Brooke,” I say, already knowing the truth. I shove off the bed and walk toward the door when Blu stops me.
“We’re goin’ after them. We just need a set plan. She’s family, Dec. We protect family.”
I glance over my shoulder and give him a quick nod. He’s right. She is family, and I’m about to go remind her of that.
The walk down the hall is a blur. That shit happened so quickly I barely had time to react. I hate that I hurt her too, but that wasn’t really my fault. That blast sent my ass flying. I open the door to my room and find her sitting up in bed with something in her hand.
“How you feelin’?” She looks up at me with tears in her beautiful eyes.
“I’m ok. You’re bleeding,” she gasps, throwing the sheets back. I stop her, putting my hand up.
“Don’t get up. You’ve got a concussion from hell from what Doc said.” She nods, and I can see just how unsteady she is. “Lay back down, butterfly.”
“He was killed when I was seven. The guy that killed him wasn’t even a guy. He was a kid,” she says softly. Jesus Christ. Here she goes. She’s giving me her past. She’s giving me a piece of herself right now.
“How did you find out?” I ask her while I move toward the chair next to the bed.
“I was there. So was Angel.” My heart kicks up a notch. There’s no fucking way in hell.
“Where were you?” I ask swallowing hard. This can’t be happening.
“We were outside in front of the house.”
My stomach drops. I’m fucked. Bile races up my throat. I swallow hard, willing it all to stay down.
“You don’t need to talk right now,” I tell her not wanting her to keep going. This is it. The end of my fucking world is about to spill from those lips.
“I need to. We were out there welcoming him home from work. It was late, but Uncle Devon let us stay up just that once. Angel and I ran out the door as soon as we saw the headlights. He was crossing the street, and we ran and leaped into his arms. He was hugging us tightly when someone walked up to us.”
I run my hand over my face. Son of a bitch!
“Brooke.” I want her to stop. I can’t handle it. I’m the motherfucker who broke her. I’m the one who took that life away from her. Fuck.
“The kid shot him, Dec. Right in front of me! What kind of monster does that?” she cries.
Me. I’m that monster. I’m the kind of monster that could take a life and walk away like it was nothing. I’m the one!
“The boy. He was only a boy. He didn’t want to do it. I could see it in his eyes. They made him do it. When they all walked off, he leaned down to me. He gave me-” she cries, but I don’t let her finish.
I finish the sentence for her. “A rosary.”
Chapter 36
Brooke
There are tears in his eyes. I’ve never seen a single tear come close to Declan’s eyes, but there they are.
“What did you say?” I ask, shifting in the bed.
“A rosary. He gave you a rosary. He told you it would keep you safe.” His voice is low and strangled.
How did he know that? How could he have known? I never told anyone about that, not even Angel.
“How do you know that, Declan?”
His eyes fall on my hands. The rosary sits in my palm, my fingers gently caressing the cross like I’ve always done when I’m scared.
“I’m that boy, Brooke,” he says softly, his voice dancing with emotions.
“No. You weren’t,” I retort. There’s no way it was Dec.
I watch him swallow hard, sniffing back the tears before he says, “My dad was president at the time. He wanted me to join the club, prove myself loyal to them. I wanted that, too. It was my life. Your dad killed my mom, Brooke.”
I gasp at his words. I shake my head. My dad never had to kill anyone. He told me that himself.
“No! He said he never killed anyone, that he was lucky enough to never have to kill anyone!” I scream. That can’t be true. There’s no way that can be true. But when I look up and meet the tear-filled eyes of Declan, I know in my heart that it is.
“Why? Why would he kill her?” I ask, a sobbing mess. I feel like I’m coming apart at the seams.
“We were walkin’ home from the store one night. He saw the cut she had on. He knew who she was. Your dad was a dirty cop, Brooke. He killed her just for bein’ married to my dad. For bein’ a part of this club!” Declan roars as tears fall down his face. “I was doin’ what was right! An eye for an eye!” He screams louder.
The door cracks open, interrupting any further words from Declan. Mayhem step in, more somber than I’ve ever seen him.
“Blu needs you,” he says quietly to Dec.
I watch Declan wipe his eyes before turning to his brother. “Keep an eye on her.” He nods toward me.
“Go to hell, Declan! I hate you! I will never forgive you for what you did! Never!” I scream as hot tears fall down my cheeks.
Declan watches me as I fall apart in front of his eyes.
“I love you, butterfly. That doesn’t change.”
He turns and quickly walks out, leaving me to my mess of tears and a spinning head. Mayhem drops in the chair but doesn’t say a word. I don’t want him to. I don’t want to be here.
“I want to go home,” I say.
“Not happenin’,” Mayhem responds quickly.
“Why?” I look over at him, and he shrugs.
“Someone’s tryin’ to kill you. You’re safe here. We will protect you.” The words leave his mouth, but all I can think about is what Declan said.
“Who’s going to protect Declan?”
His eyebrows furrow as he looks at me. He leans closer to me before he asks, “Why would Declan need protection?”
“He killed my father. I’m going to kill him.” My voice is as strong as I’ve ever heard it. There is so much hatred inside of me. Hatred toward Declan for what he said. Hatred toward my dad for lying to me. Hatred toward everyone who knew and let me suffer all these years, wondering why my dad left us too soon.
“I don’t know what he did or didn’t do, but he loves you, darlin’. You won’t kill him,” Mayhem says with confidence.
“I won’t? Are you sure about that?”
Mayhem raises his eyebrows at me, pondering my statement. The words are ringing loud and clear in his head.
“You say he killed your dad?” he asks. I nod.
“Long time ago, wasn’t it?”
“I was seven,” I snap.
“He tell you why he did it?” Mayhem asks, eyeing me the whole time. He knows too, doesn’t he?
“Yeah. He said my dad was a dirty cop and that he killed his mom.” Mayhem nods his head before pulling his phone out of his pocket.
“Yo, Mystic. Need a favor, brother.” I hear him talking into the phone.
“Get me the information on an old file. Sheriff Charleston. Killed outside his home a few blocks down.”
“Yeah, that’d be the one. Send it up with Mouse to Declan’s room.”
Mayhem crosses his arms over his chest as he glares at me.
“My uncle was a piece of shit president. Even worse of a father. He put his son in more compromisin’ positions than I can count. Declan couldn’t get out of them - it’s the club’s way of life. You think he wanted to kill your dad? You are dead fuckin’ wrong. He may have felt that urge because of what your dad did to his mom, but I promise you that was a forced kill. Declan knew his place from day one. He was raised here.” A knock on the door stops him from talking.
“Open it!” he hollers over his shoulder. Mouse walks in with a thick file in his hand.
“Here you go, Mayhem.” He grabs the file and nods toward Mouse. Mayhem stands up and tosses the file on my lap.
“Look at it. Your dad was as dirty as they come. He wasn’t in our pocket darlin’, but he was in someone’s. Take a look for yourself before you shovel shit at Dec,” he snaps. He turns away from me and walks to the corn
er. He presses his hands against the wall and lets his head fall forward.
“Why are you doing this?” I whisper.
He doesn’t turn to look at me, but he says, “‘Cause Dec isn’t just my cousin. He’s my brother by every meanin’ of the word. He’s my family. I’ve never seen the motherfucker as happy as I have since you been around. You want to ruin him? You need all the fuckin’ information before you can pass that kind of judgement. Once you have it all, you can decide if that’s really the way you want to handle this.”
Chapter 37
Declan
My head’s a goddamn mess. I can’t think straight. I want to throw up. I want to punch a fucking wall. I want to run. None of those are options, though. I walk into Blu’s office and drop into the chair.
“What the fuck’s wrong with you?” he asks.
I lift my head and look at the man who took my father’s place. The one who ran this club the way it should have been run. The man who has been more of a father to me than mine ever was.
“You remember back when I was fifteen and dad made me kill that cop for killin’ mom?” Blu’s face scrunches as he tries to remember back to that time.
“The one down the road? What about it?” he asks.
I know it was so fucking long ago that I shouldn’t even be talking about it. But the past has a way of catching up with you. Mine just caught up with me.
“That cop was Brooke’s dad. She was the fuckin’ little girl on the goddamn ground cryin’.”
Blu’s eyes widen before he blows out a breath. “You sure?”
“She’s sittin’ in my goddamn room right now with the rosary my mom gave me. The one I gave her that night.” I run my hand through my hair waiting on Blu to process what the hell I just said. He looks as lost as I feel.
“She knows it was you now?”
I give him a nod before I pull out a cigarette and light it up. I blow out a ring of smoke before I pull my eyes to Blu’s. “She hates me now, brother. She doesn’t wanna be here. She wants out. As soon as we handle the Dragons, I’m lettin’ her go.” It breaks me down inside to even say that. It kills a part of me to know that I have to let her go.
“You sure about that?” Blu crosses his arms over his chest and gazes at me.
“Yeah. She doesn’t want that life with me. I can’t fuckin’ blame her. I killed her fuckin’ dad, man.”
Blu nods but doesn’t say anything else. A knock on the door pulls Blu’s attention. “Yeah!” he hollers.
“Yo, Declan. You might wanna go see what the fuck is goin’ on in your room brother. It sounds like a goddamn tornado is blowin’ through there.” Mouse looks pretty damn amused by all of this.
“Fuck!” I grumble, passing him the cigarette before heading out of the office. As soon as my feet hit the damn floor, I can hear her screaming. It’s not a fear cry, either. No, this is worse. She’s fucking pissed. I rush down the hall and shove the door open to find her tearing my room to hell and back. Mayhem stands off to the side, his arms crossed over his chest, a cigarette hanging from his lips. He looks as calm and collected as always. He meets my gaze before nodding to the file on the bed.
“What the fuck did you do?” I ask him. Why the fuck would he have shown her the files we had on her dad? What the hell was he thinking!
“Showed her the truth, brother.”
I walk toward the bed and pick up a few of the photos. Is that her mom? Jesus Christ! Was he involved in her mom’s death? I flip through a few more pages and find that my assumption was right.
“Fuck!” I roar. I look over my shoulder, but Mayhem isn’t there. Sneaky fucker. I look up at Brooke as she stares at her hands, her little fit finally coming to an end.
“Did you know?” she asks, her voice hoarse from screaming.
“About your mom? No, I didn’t.” She looks up, her face red and puffy from crying and screaming. It kills me. It rips pieces of my heart out to see her hurting like this.
“He had her killed, Declan. Why? What kind of man would do that?” she asks me. She watches me intently, waiting for me to give her an answer that I don’t have.
“I don’t know, Brooke. I’m sorry.” She just looks at me, not moving. My heart hammers in my chest.
Brooke’s eyes leave mine and dart around the room. She drops to her knees quickly and starts picking up the mess she made. She’s lost. She doesn’t know what to do with herself. Everything she was ever told was a lie. They all lied to her.
“Brooke,” I say her name softly. She doesn’t look up. Her hands keep moving, picking up the mess.
“Brooke,” I say her name a little firmer this time. She drops the broken beer bottle that was in her hand. Her eyes come to meet mine.
“Come here.” She shakes her head slowly, not sure what to do.
“Brooke, come here,” I say once more. I watch her slowly shove herself off the floor. She takes slow steps toward me like a scared kitten. I watch her lip quiver before I grab her and pull her into me.
She unleashes all the anger, hurt, and rage she feels. The betrayal. Her body shakes and shudders with each breath she takes. Each one kills another piece of me. I wish I could take her pain away, but instead I caused her pain, too.
“I’m so sorry, Brooke. You have no idea how much.”
Chapter 38
Brooke
Dec sat with me, rubbing my hair away from my face as I cried into his shirt. He never said a word. He only held me tight, knowing that’s exactly what I needed. I fell asleep at some point. I don’t know when he left, but I woke up alone and the bed is cold. I pull the blankets off my body before standing. I made the biggest mess in here, and I feel like shit for it.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Brooke?” I ask myself.
I start to collect the trash and papers I flung everywhere when I see her picture. I pick it up and hold it in my hands. My mom. She was beautiful. I don’t remember much about her. She was killed in a car accident right after Angel was born. I run my fingers over her image. I miss my life. I miss the life I had once before, the life I thought I had. It’s all gone now. All I have left is Angel.
“Liar. You have Dec,” I mumble to myself. He’s right. I do have him. He’s been there for me when I needed him. He’s told me he loved me. as hard as that is to accept. He might have killed my dad, but my dad was dirty. He was dirtier than any of us ever knew.
I drop the photo onto the floor and stand up. I head out into the hallway determined to apologize to Dec. When I step into the main room, it’s eerily silent. I glance around and only see some of the club girls.
“Cherry!” I call out to her when I notice her across the room.
She turns to look at me, her hair draping over her shoulder. She gives me that giant grin of hers before she says, “Brooke! I didn’t realize you were here.” She comes bounding toward me, her smile getting bigger.
“Do you know where Declan is?” I ask her. She shakes her head.
“No, I just got here. The bikes are gone, though.” My heart starts beating faster.
I glance around until I see Mouse. I head straight toward him.
“Mouse, where’s Dec?” I ask. He smiles at me.
“Can’t tell you that, darlin’.”
I know it’s all club rules and bullshit. I’ve heard it over and over again. I watch his face, and I can already tell he isn’t going to give me the answers I want. Tough shit. I want answers, and he’s going to give them to me. I reach up and grab him around the neck in a choke-style hold.
“I want to know where the fuck Declan is now!” I roar. Mouse tries to fight me, but I don’t let him go. He grabs me around the waist, pulling me, but I rotate my body and keep my hold tight.
“Where is he?” I yell. The girls have gathered around to watch what I’m doing.
Mouse gasps, fighting for air. All he has to do is tell me what I want to know.
“He’s on a run! The Dragons. They were after you!” he hisses out.
I loosen my g
rip when Cherry yells, “Tap out!” I want to laugh, but I’m serious. I want to know where Declan is.
“Where?”
“I don’t know!” I let him go as he drops to his knees, catching his breath.
Glancing around, I feel like I’m in a panic. I want to go after him. I want to tell him that I love him too. I want him to hold me and tell me that everything is ok.
“I have to go,” I say out loud, but more to myself. Mouse jumps up off the floor and comes at me quickly.
“You can’t! I have orders.” I glare at him as he gets closer to me.
“I’ll kick your ass, Mouse. What’s worse? Them or me? The embarrassment that a girl kicked your ass or Declan?” I tempt him. I don’t want to hurt Mouse, but I will. If he doesn’t leave me alone, I will.
“Goddamn you, Brooke!” he roars and steps to the side. I knew I’d get my way.
I rush out the door but have no clue where to go. I don’t know anything about this MC shit. I don’t know where they hang out or what they do. I almost feel defeated. If they were looking for me, then they would know I’m always at the club. I run down the street and grab my car, heading to Leggs.
As I drive, things run through my head. I don’t want to lose Declan. He’s been the one solid thing that I’ve had in a long time. I pull my cell out and call Angel to make sure she’s ok.
“Hey, sis,” she says happily into the phone. I smile from just hearing her voice.
“Hey, Angel. You doing ok?” I ask as I speed down the road.
“I’m good. This school is amazing. You have to come visit.”
I knew her going to college would be the best thing for her. She deserves to live her life. She deserves to have everything she’s ever wanted in life.
“I will soon. I’m heading to the club. I just wanted to tell you I love you.” In case I don’t get a second chance to do it. I leave the last part unsaid.
Chapter 39
Declan
“This is bullshit.” I blow out a cloud of smoke. I glance around the empty bar beginning to get a little pissed off. We chose this bar since it was neutral territory.