Love and Decay, Boy Meets Girl

by Higginson, Rachel

  “What do you care, Hendrix?” she hissed at me, clearly unnerve by my questions and interest in their welfare. I was a little unnerved by it too- Ok, more than a little. “We are not your concern. In fact, in T-six hours, we’re going to be well on our way, headed toward the other side of the equator than you. Leave it alone.”

  We stared each other down, waiting for each other to break. I knew she wouldn’t. I knew she was dead set on her plan and well beyond reason. But she should know I wouldn’t back down either. Not a chance in hell.

  Vaughan cleared his throat, trying to diffuse the tension that was building between us. “Alright, now that we’ve gotten that settled, it’s time for bed, Page.”

  That set us all into motion. Vaughan got Page ready for bed and Haley and Reagan disappeared to do more girl stuff before they disappeared into their corner of our space.

  I stood there thinking for a long time- maybe too long. Eventually everyone was quiet and spaced out across our make-shift home.

  I walked over to where Vaughan and Nelson were talking in hushed voices. Nelson was sitting on my bed, while Vaughan leaned forward, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. I sat down heavily next to Nelson and Vaughan raised his head and met my stare with tired eyes.

  “We should have never let them in, Hendrix,” Nelson said in a low, regretful voice.

  “And why is that?” I demanded.

  “Because now they’re here. And we can’t ignore them.” Nelson stared at his feet, embarrassed to admit what I already knew he felt.

  “We at least should never have asked them what their plans were,” Vaughan sighed.

  “No,” I disagreed. “It started before that. For me, it started before we even let them in the door.”

  “So what are we going to do?” Vaughan demanded. “Go with them? What about the little ones? Or what about them? They haven’t exactly invited us along.”

  “We can take care of them,” I put in. “Protect them.”

  “Is that what this is about? You can’t protect everyone, Hendrix. Even if we go with them, there’s no guarantee that….”

  “That’s not what Hendrix is saying,” Nelson interjected. “It’s not about protecting everyone who needs protection. If it were that, we never would have left home.”

  “Then what’s it about?” Vaughan demanded.

  “It’s about protecting them,” Nelson confirmed. “Come on, Vaughan. These girls…. They’re not going to make it by themselves. Even if they manage to fight off Feeders and the elements and hell, wild animals; there is no way settlements are going to keep letting them pass through. Look at them. They’re every sick bastard’s wet dream. They’re as good as whores if we don’t do something.”

  “Geez,” Vaughan spit out disgustedly.

  I hadn’t even thought it through that far. But Nelson was right.

  “They need us, Vaughan,” I confirmed in a serious voice.

  “And Page?”

  I already had my answer for this because it was true. “They’re obviously capable girls. Think of it as mutually beneficial. We protect them. They help protect Page. Plus, you have to admit having some female influence will be good for her. They’ll make all that girly stuff important. They’ll make her education important. Girls are naturals at those things. We haven’t even tried to teach her to read since we left with her. We’re keeping her alive, but we’re failing her in every other way.”

  “Damn it.” Vaughan put his head back in his hands and pulled at his hair. “But South America? Hell, could they have picked a worse destination?”

  “That’s a long way away,” Nelson reminded us. “Let’s just see where it goes. Maybe, they change their minds. Maybe we find a better plan. The end goal isn’t about where we end up, but that we end up there together.”

  “Wise, brother,” I smirked at him.

  “Alright,” Vaughan looked up at us and nodded. “Alright, we do this.”

  “And we don’t give them a choice,” I added. “I mean, we can make them feel like they have a choice, but we all know that they don’t, yeah?”

  “Yeah,” Vaughan agreed. “This is the only way. This is the only way they survive.”

  What I didn’t say, what I couldn’t say, was that I was beginning to think this was the only way for me to survive too.

  We hatched a plan to approach them in the morning and then crawled into our respective beds. The room was completely quiet; still and pensive with silence. I closed my eyes but couldn’t fall asleep. There were too many things on my racing mind, plus the very real possibility Reagan would try to sneak out of here in the morning without alerting us.

  I wasn’t sure how long I laid there, thinking about what I would say to her, how I would convince her that joining forces was the only way to go, but when the first hand of a Feeder fist landed on the steel encasing we’d melded over the stairwell I wasn’t even surprised.

  I sat up in bed and realized this was the exact opportunity I needed.

  She couldn’t leave me, if she needed me.

  But I would let it be her choice. I would always, always let it be her choice. Well, kind of. I wasn’t going to hit her over the head and drag her back to my cave. But our futures were connected now and she would just have to accept that.

  I got up, slipped my boots on and armed myself to the hilt. We were all ready for this. We had a protocol in place, and an escape plan that had been hatched and practiced since we arrived here. I walked over to the girls, intending to help them get ready. I caught the girls looking a little dazed and disoriented in the bed they were sharing.

  Taking a breath for courage, I said, “Girls, we’re moving out in three minutes. Throw some shoes on. You don’t have time to pack.”

  She snorted again. “Like, we’re not completely ready to go.”

  And then they jumped up and threw some shirts over their tank tops and shouldered their packs.

  “Ready,” Haley said with a smile.

  I watched, fascinated, while Reagan threw her hair on the top of her head and tied it together with a rubber band. Incredible.

  “Do you have any more of those you want to share?” she asked me, eyeing my semiautomatic hungrily.

  “Over by Vaughan.” I pointed at our healthy stash of weapons we’d been accumulating since we began this whole journey. Hell, half of them were from even before that. Our house hadn’t exactly been against the second amendment. “Take your pick.”

  And then I stood stunned, half-paralyzed as I watched them bounce over to drool over guns, knives and bullets.

  Damn, I was already in love with this girl.

  I kept an eye on her while she armed herself and her friend and while I helped my brothers get ready and pack up Page. We worked seamlessly, a well-oiled machine of preparedness. Our skill with planning for the worst and understanding which obstacles to expect would always save us. Our dad trained us well. We could navigate these uncertain waters simply because we already came equipped with internal compasses.

  Finally, we stood in a clustered group, waiting for the melded shut elevators to be pried open. I found Reagan in the crowd and chose to stand next to her. I now had a place in her life, this was me stepping up to fulfill it.

  Could I finally blame this on destiny? Fate? A greater being that thrust us together- right time and right place… all that?

  It was hard to say. But only because the impossible life we lived made believing in something bigger and wiser than me nearly impossible.

  Had someone asked me this same question before the world went to shit, then I might have believed in cosmic forces shifting earth plates and stars aligning until Reagan and I were put in each other’s paths.

  Now, I was less concerned with what destiny had in store for us and much more determined to make the best of this beautiful prospect.

  Maybe I wasn’t spiritual anymore, but I had definitely turned into an opportunist.

  Reagan was my opportunity.

  “This leads to the outside?�
� she asked me in a strong voice. She wasn’t even afraid. The entire room quaked and echoed with the pounding fists of hungry Feeders trying to get inside to eat us and Reagan was only determined to get out.

  “Eventually,” I answered. I couldn’t even pretend to be as cool as her. Energy and adrenaline hummed through my blood, bringing me fully awake and setting every one of my instincts and senses on edge. I felt torn in half trying to keep an eye on Page and on Reagan.

  Page would always be my first priority, but I couldn’t deny the intense urge I felt to protect Reagan.

  I took in my surroundings, visualized our escape plan and mentally pictured each and every future kill. The key to survival and keeping those you loved alive was to always be prepared.

  I was a goddamn Boy Scout when it came to a fight. Everyone in this room would make it to safety.

  There was no other option in my life.

  “Alright, well thanks then,” Reagan whispered to me sounding sincere and final.

  My blood went cold, freezing in my veins. I watched Nelson and Vaughan finally pry the door open but it was in a detached, confused kind of way. They began working with another one of our pulley systems and I began working to process Reagan’s words.

  “For what?” I turned to her realizing she hadn’t come to the same conclusion that I had about our remaining lives. Even if we never became involved with more than friendship, we definitely had a future together. From this day forward.

  “For everything,” she shrugged and turned away.

  Maybe she wasn’t as brave as I gave her credit for. Maybe she was resigned that this was a no win situation. She had no idea who she was traveling with now, though. The Parkers didn’t believe in no-win situations. We won everything, every chance we got.

  I needed her to believe that too, though.

  “You sound like you’re expecting to die, Reagan,” I barked, a little harsher than I intended. But I was irritated that she didn’t trust me. Yes, I knew I was being irrational. But I couldn’t help it. Testosterone had fused with the adrenaline to transform me into the super soldier I needed to be. “We have an escape plan. You’re going to be just fine.”

  Confusion warred with frustration as she tried not to laugh at me. I scowled at her, waiting for her to explain. “I know that.” And then because I still didn’t understand she sighed and made it clear why she was thanking me, basically telling me goodbye. “But we’re headed south and you’re headed north. I was just saying thank you before we got separated and I never got the chance to. I mean it, thank you.”

  I stared at her. She still didn’t get it. And then I started to panic a little. Was I the only one that felt this connection between us? I felt fused to her, hooked by a titanium steel fishing line that would never release me. How could she just not assume that from this moment on our lives were entwined?

  My brothers started getting people through the elevator, following through with our escape plan and momentarily pulled Reagan’s attention away from me. I took the opportunity to step forward and lean down so I could speak directly in her ear.

  “Alright, Reagan,” I said softly. She shivered at the feel of my voice in her ear and I knew at that moment I wasn’t the only one that felt this. There was something real between us, something tangible and worth exploring. “I get the independence thing, but you’re not going south until we get the hell out of here and to safety. You stay directly behind me, you got that?”

  She whipped her head around and stared me down with a soul full of fury, “Sweet offer, but I can take care of myself.”

  “Never said you couldn’t,” I admitted. And I knew that she could. But that wasn’t the point. “Stay behind me, got that?”

  “Whatever makes you feel like a man,” she sighed, sounding completely exasperated by me.

  I suppressed a smile. “And we’ll talk about going south later.”

  She opened her mouth to argue with me, sputtering a little and seeming completely flustered. I did smile this time, I couldn’t help myself. I ushered her forward and she crawled through the elevator space without hesitation or further prompting.

  I let her get adjusted and when she couldn’t quite get in a comfortable position to get strapped in I laid down on my stomach and grabbed her ass so she could settle. In any other situation, I would have capitalized on this moment and investigated how far she would let me take this. But this was life or death, survival or Feeder-food. This was clinical, methodical, necessary to our escape.

  Although the surprised squeak she made when I touched her did confusing things to my resolve.

  “What the hell?” she growled at me.

  “Just,” I strained against her weight and clicked the carabineers into place, “there.”

  She was now supported by the rope, although it wasn’t exactly the most comfortable way to travel. It would do the job. That’s all that mattered.

  I slid under the elevator that hovered above a just-big-enough space to slide under and strapped myself into place too. We would go down together. From now on, we would always do things together in order to survive. And this time I wasn’t being a possessive stalker. That was how we did things in my family. We stayed together so we could stay alive together.

  “Where are you supposed to stay?” I asked her again. I needed to make sure she got this.

  She glared at me through the darkness, her features oddly highlighted by the flashlight down below. “Hendrix, are you kidding me?”

  She would get it. I just had help her. “By me, Reagan. Always, by me.”

  Her breathing came faster and more unregulated, echoing off the cavernous walls. I hoped that was a good thing for me. She went back to staring at the wall in front of her and we worked silently down the wall until our feet were once again on solid ground.

  “We rigged it so it’s not connected to anything, but there’s a barrier to keep it from falling down the shaft. It should hold in place for a while. We’re just trying to confuse them while we get out of here. But if they follow our scent, the elevator won’t hold them for long.” I explained the logistics of the plan.

  “Do you think my bloody clothes will confuse them?” she asked and I hoped she meant because she left them upstairs and hadn’t tried to bring them with her.

  No, she was smarter than that.

  “Probably.” I confirmed.

  “Hey, I’m sorry-“

  “Not now, Reagan.” We didn’t have time for that and she didn’t have anything to be sorry for. I raised my semiautomatic and she followed suit. We had to be ready for everything. Feeders fed Feeders. That was just how things were. They were mostly lonely creatures until the possibility of food presented itself and then the more racket they made, the more of their kind they drew in. One Feeder could become one hundred Feeders in just minutes. They seemed to crawl up from the cracks in the ground and out of the shadows of buildings. They were everywhere, overpopulating this planet with death and disease.

  I didn’t know if there was a long term strategy to exterminating their threat, but there had to be some kind of solution to winning back humanity. We had to be stronger than them. Humanity wasn’t lost- not completely. And we were smarter, more discerning and most importantly, we still possessed souls.

  We had to take back this planet- if for no other reason than to keep anyone else from getting infected. Zombie-ism was a true predator- not sparing one single life in the wake of its destruction.

  Vaughan, Page and Haley were waiting for us on the ground floor. Page was tucked between them like she belonged there- or rather, like Haley belonged there. Page wore her brave face and met my eyes when I looked at her.

  She was just so very courageous and I admired every little part of her.

  She didn’t have a weapon on her this time, and hopefully she wouldn’t need one. We had all taught her how to use every kind of gun we had that she was strong enough to hold and she’d had some knife-training too, but that didn’t mean we just let her run around willy-nilly wi
th weapons. She was eight.

  And we were trying to keep her alive.

  This part of the store stayed secluded from the rest of the departments, so we could hide undetected until the rest of my brothers made it to the bottom of the shaft.

  The Feeders swarmed everywhere else though, loud, hungry and single-minded with the need for our brains. They were slow, clumsy and hardly cognizant of anything but flesh, still they were the most dangerous enemy mankind had every fought.

  One bite. Just once. And that was it. The poison of the disease infected you immediately and your rational, functioning thought died in the wake of a desperate addiction to flesh, blood and brains.

  There was no cure, no immunity, no anything but kill or be killed.

  Eventually, Nelson, Harrison and King joined us on the ground, weapons ready and bodies tensed. We moved into position and Vaughan held up three fingers, counting down. Then we were off. I led the way and Reagan stayed directly behind me just as I’d asked.

  I always led the way- it was my place. But with Reagan so close and vulnerable, I was suddenly rethinking this position. The rest of my family took up the rear and I had never once second-guessed them or doubted their ability to perform and protect. I shouldn’t start tonight.

  We moved as silently as we could, stepping over dead bodies, and around the gore and carnage left littering the floor. I led my group to the outside though the wall we’d blown up just for this very purpose and immediately engaged the enemy.

  I had wanted to wait to start shooting until we were closer to the Hummer, since I knew the sound would draw attention our way; but firing shots was unavoidable. Feeders of every size, shape and degree of disease were scattered before me and if I didn’t kill them, then they would come after me in the space of a heartbeat.

  I spared one extra moment to look down at Reagan and remind her she needed to stay by my side. “With me,” I mouthed and she nodded obediently.

  Pride and satisfaction swelled in my chest and I felt a surge of extra energy. I also felt the resolute certainty that we were doing the right thing by going with them.

  As I looked around at the Zombies swarming us, from in front of us, down the street or now streaming back down the stairs in order to get to us, I knew with absolute certainty I couldn’t let Reagan and Haley continue on their journey alone.