“Hey,” Vance said later when the session was over and they were walking to the door, “are we still on for poker tonight? Steph’s going out with friends, and I’ve got Castelli’s pizza on speed dial.”
“I’ll be there. Leila has a date with Luke anyway.”
Vance shook his head. “You’re messed up, man.”
“I know. See you tonight.”
Eli walked away, sullen after remembering he wouldn’t see Leila that night. His gloominess only lasted until he got into the car and noticed the time. It wasn’t even noon yet. His next patient wasn’t due until one-thirty. What really lifted his sour attitude was realizing he was only a few minutes from St. Claire’s. There would be no chance of finding an excuse to see Leila later, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t pick her up for lunch on his way back to the office.
When he pulled up to the boutique, the realization hit him that he would have to make it past Ana in order to invite Leila to lunch. Fear of facing her was nearly a good enough deterrent to make him drive away. Vance’s words lingering in his mind and a powerful sense of curiosity won out in the end. He cut the engine of the Audi and left the safety of his car behind.
“Welcome to St. Claire’s Boutique,” a cheerful voice said as soon as he walked in. “If you need help finding anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
Eli smiled at the chipper young woman. “Actually, I was hoping to speak with Ana. Is she in?”
“Yes she is. May I ask your name?”
“Eli Walsh.”
The young woman went from overly perky to rather unsure, her smile going lopsided. “Um … just a minute.”
She scurried off to the offices as fast as her ridiculously tall heels would allow. Eli closed his eyes and tried to breathe deeply. Apparently, even the sales girls new Ana was angry with him. That truly surprised him, as well as annoyed him. Ana was a very private person, and respected her friends enough to keep an argument between her and whoever she was angry with. He had to wonder if word had gotten out some other way. She had never been one to gossip. Leila certainly seemed to have no idea of the real reason Eli had been uninvited to the recent fashion show.
The sound of heels on the hardwood floor opened Eli’s eyes once again. The sales girl rushed back into the room. Her mouth opened to say something, but clamped shut when Ana nearly barreled her over. One look at her boss’s face and she beat it back to the sales counter.
“Eli, what brings you here?” Ana asked politely. The frosty undertone was plainly obvious despite her words.
“Can we speak in your office?”
Ana seemed to debate his request before nodding and turning on her heel. Eli followed with a sigh, knowing this was not going to be the most pleasant conversation. Ana walked into her office and sat down behind her desk with her arms and legs crossed in a less than welcoming posture.
“What are you really doing here?” she snapped.
“I wanted to take Leila to lunch.”
“Then why did you ask to see me?” she asked.
Eli sat down in the only available chair. He met her eyes with more confidence than he felt. “Because you deserved to know I was here. I know you don’t approve of me being around Leila. I had no intention of trying to sneak by you.”
Ana softened at his words, but only marginally. “Why are you doing this, Eli? She’s dating Luke. He seems like a great guy. Why are you risking that for her? And I want an honest answer, not any of your psychoanalytical babble.”
“Because I’m in love with her and I can’t stand not to see her,” Eli said.
He laughed when Ana’s mouth actually fell open. Apparently she didn’t expect him to be that honest. Or perhaps she didn’t expect him to have that startling of a reason. Eli gained a little more ground when he saw Ana’s mouth begin to curve up in a smile. Maybe Eli being with Leila wasn’t as repulsive of an idea to her as she had first said it was.
Suddenly, Ana shook her head. “She’s still dating Luke. You can’t mess that up for her. It isn’t right.”
“Who said I was here to ruin her relationship with Luke?”
Ana eyed him. Her glare made it clear she didn’t believe him. “What else would you be doing?”
“I’m doing what you told me to do. Helping her,” Eli argued. “She needs to gain some confidence, realize what an amazing person she is. I can do that better as a friend.”
Toying with several scraps of fabric, Ana considered what he was saying. “How exactly do you expect this to work?”
Eli shifted under her suddenly intense gaze. This would make or break his relationship with Ana. He knew that without a doubt. They were very good friends, but if she thought he was out to hurt or manipulate Leila he knew she would cut him out of her life, and do her best to cut him out of Leila’s life as well. Eli thought, choosing his words carefully.
“Leila sees herself as this boring, non-special, uninteresting person. She doesn’t think the people around her would find her good enough to be a friend or a girlfriend,” Eli said. “I know that if I told her how I felt right now she would dismiss it and probably run away from me. She doesn’t see herself as someone that would be with someone like me.”
“You’re not that special,” Ana said to him, though her lips were beginning to curve up again.
Eli smirked at her. “Believe me, I know that, but Leila sees me as an attractive, successful, wealthy guy that is way above her. It’s ridiculous, of course, because she’s also attractive, successful, and decently well off.”
“I pay Leila very well,” Ana defended.
“I’m sure you do,” Eli said with a smile.
“What does this have to do with you being her friend, and supposedly not screwing things up for her with Luke?” She tossed the fabric swatches down and folded her arms again.
Eli answered her honestly, hoping she wouldn’t misunderstand his methods. “If I can get Leila to see me as a real friend, two people on equal ground, it will not only mean a big change in her confidence level, but it might mean she’d be able to see the possibility of having me, or someone else, as more than a friend.”
Ana was smiling again, but hadn’t uncrossed her arms. “So you admit your motivation is not entirely altruistic.”
“Not entirely, no,” Eli admitted.
They sat in silence for several minutes. Ana picked up a pen, tapped it on the desk as she thought. Every tap spiked Eli’s anxiety. He was sure his heart was going to give up altogether after the first minute, but it managed to hold on and pound away. Eli knew Ana might take his attempt at friendship with Leila as a form of manipulation, something she detested very much.
He had to admit to himself, that in a way, he was manipulating Leila. He was inserting himself into her life with the hope of pulling her into situations where she would be forced to see herself as she truly was, a beautiful and fascinating woman any man would be lucky to have. Would a real friend do something like that? Eli argued with himself that any true friend would want to help a friend and see them happy. That was what he was doing for Leila. Right?
As deep in his thoughts as he was, when Ana spoke, it startled Eli.
“I’m still not sure I believe you about Luke,” she said, “but I have to admit that Leila does seem to enjoy having you around. She couldn’t stop talking about the symphony for days.” Ana smiled at Eli, but it was tempered. “But I want a firm promise from you that you will do nothing to interfere with her seeing Luke. You may be in love with her, but that gives you no right to decide who she ends up with.”
Eli let out a deep breath. “Ana, you have my promise. I won’t interfere.”
She seemed to debate whether or not she believed him, but in the end she stood and walked around her desk to him. Eli stood as well. “Go take my marketing director to lunch.”
“Thank you, Ana.”
When Ana reached out for a hug, he gratefully accepted. They stepped back and Ana eyed him once again. “This
doesn’t mean you’re invited to the fall show,” she said.
“No?”
Ana shook her head. “Your plan sounds all fine and dandy, but the jury is still out. This could go very badly for Leila. It’s her happiness I’m worried about, not yours. If Leila is happy and progressing by the time the fall show comes around, you can come, but if not …” She smiled, and it wasn’t a friendly one. “Just make sure she’s happy, Eli, regardless of who she’s dating.”
“It’s a deal,” Eli said.
Ana released him from the confines of her office and sent him on his way after that. Eli knew she would be watching him like a hawk, but he was glad of it. She didn’t entirely trust him to make the right decisions, but to be honest, Eli wasn’t sure he trusted himself all that much either. If he got out of line, he knew Ana would be there to slap him back into place and he was grateful for that knowledge.
It was only a short stretch of hall before he was knocking on Leila’s office door. An offhanded “come in” was the reply. Eli imagined there were people in and out of her office all day. When she looked up to see him standing next to her desk, he basked in the delight that shone in her expression.
“Eli!” She grinned up at him. “What are you doing here?”
“I was on this side of town and thought you might want to have lunch.”
“You’re so sweet,” she said. Then her face scrunched as she peered back at her desk. For a moment Eli worried she would refuse him. Then she shook off her mental to-do list and grabbed her purse. “It can wait,” she said to whatever it was she happened to be abandoning. “Where should we go?”
“Are we still trying new things?” Eli asked, smiling as well.
Leila laughed. “Sure, why not.”
“I have the perfect place, then. There is a charming Japanese tea house not too far from here.”
“That sounds perfect.”
All during the drive to the tea house, throughout lunch, all Eli could think about was what Vance had said. Did Leila really wish their relationship were different? He found himself studying her smiles, memorizing the brief moments they would touch, the tone of her voice when she spoke to him. He wanted to find some undeniable indication that Leila was secretly wishing he would dismiss his own advice and admit his true feelings, but every time he thought he was sure, he just as quickly convinced himself that he was only seeing what he wanted to see.
When he drove Leila back to the boutique, she waited for him to come around and open her door. He offered her his hand to help her out of the low riding Audi. When she didn’t immediately release his hand, Eli grew brave. He pulled her closer to him and pressed her into a hug. His breath held for a moment before Leila responded and return the hug wholeheartedly. When Leila pulled back she was smiling softly and holding his gaze.
“Thank you for lunch, Eli. I loved the tea house.”
“Thank you for coming with me.”
They stood in front of the boutique, closer than they usually stood, saying nothing. Eli kept thinking the moment would become awkward and Leila would pull away. He knew he should be the one to step back before they got to that point, but he couldn’t force himself to break contact. The way one corner of her mouth was pulled up in a content smile had him captivated. He wanted to take her back into his arms. He wanted to kiss her and hold her. His body ached to feel her pressed against him again.
Leila was the first to speak, her reluctance at ending the moment clear in her voice. “I’m expecting a call from the newspaper in five minutes, or …”
“I have a patient at one-thirty as well,” Eli said, finally taking that treacherous step back.
“I hope I haven’t made you late,” Leila said apologetically.
“Not at all.”
Leila smiled and surprised Eli by hugging him again. It was a soul-stealing moment and Eli was too weak to resist. He dropped a brief kiss on her cheek before breaking away and sending her off to talk to the newspaper. He tried not to read too much into the way Leila’s fingers touched her cheek after she turned away. When she looked back at him before going inside, he told himself it didn’t mean anything. He worked to convince himself that taking Vance’s advice would be a bad idea, but the more he thought about Leila, the harder it was to listen to himself.
Chapter 15
Pink Elephants on Parade
Leila stared at the massive climbing wall in front of her and started shaking her head. Luke was talking to one of the friends they were meeting who had just arrived and didn’t notice her trepidation until she started backing away. The sight of her getting ready to bolt for the door was apparently enough to break him away from his conversation. Luke practically dove for her hand.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
His friend was staring at them with a somewhat baffled expression. Leila didn’t care. She was not getting near that thing. Vocalizing just how much she hated the idea of climbing anything higher than a step stool wasn’t easy. All she could do was continue to shake her head as her chest tightened in fear.
“Leila,” Luke repeated, “what’s wrong? You’re starting to freak me out.”
The concern in his voice loosened Leila’s throat enough to say, “I can’t do that.”
“Climb the wall? Sure you can. I’ll help you.”
Her head shook faster. “No. I can’t. No way. I’m not getting on that. No.”
It irritated Leila quite a bit that Luke started chuckling. He thought her abject fear of high things was funny. Well, she didn’t. Spinning around, she tried to get away from the looming wall. But Luke held on too tightly for her to get away.
“Leila, wait. What’s going on?”
She just wanted to get out of there. She had no interest in climbing, or watching someone else climb and plummet to their death. She wanted to leave. Now. Her breathing started escalating. “Luke, let go of me.”
He didn’t. He pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her trembling body. “You’re shaking!” he said, startled. “Are you really that scared?”
“Obviously I’m scared,” she snapped. Instantly, she regretted her harsh words, but she was frustrated he had brought her there, upset he hadn’t warned her, furious at herself for being so weak.
“Are you afraid of heights?” he asked. His voice was concerned despite her wicked tongue, which only made Leila feel worse.
Her hands gripped his shirt as she buried her face against his chest. “Terrified,” she admitted, mortified at her frailty.
“You’ll have a harness and rope around you the entire time,” Luke said trying to persuade her. “You’ll be perfectly safe. I won’t let you fall.”
“I don’t care. I can’t do this.”
Pushing her back just enough that they could walk without tripping over each other, Luke led her over to a bench. Leila collapsed as soon as she was near enough. Her hands were still shaking. She couldn’t seem to get them to stop.
“Take a deep breath. Calm yourself down, okay? Let’s talk about this,” Luke begged.
She tried. She really tried. The fact that a monstrous tower of death was lurking behind her every second made that impossible. “I need to go home,” Leila said as she wrapped her arms around her body.
“I’ve been doing this since I was a teenager. There are certified instructors here to help you, too. You’re going to be perfectly safe. You can go as high as you want to. Nobody will try to make you go any higher than you feel comfortable,” Luke assured her.
Didn’t he understand that two feet off the ground was too high for her? There was no way he was ever getting her to climb that thing. “I don’t want to climb at all,” Leila argued.
Luke frowned. She could tell her was frustrated with her, and she felt badly that she was ruining their date, but there was just no way she would ever be able to do this.
“Okay, what about bouldering?” Luke asked.
She was almost afraid to ask, but she did
anyway. “What’s that?”
“It’s where you climb around just on the bottom portion. You hardly even go up at all. You follow the colored paths around the base. You don’t even have to use the rope.” He looked so hopeful as he said this. Leila wanted to throw up.
“No rope?” she squeaked in horror.
Luke stared at her. He didn’t seem to know what to say to her. In Leila’s head she knew she was being ridiculous. That hardly helped her get over her fear, though. “Luke,” she said as calmly as she could manage, “I’m not going anywhere near that wall.”
“But this is the first time we’ve hung out with Rick and Andrew. They want to meet you. I thought you wanted to meet some of my friends, too.” His voice was dangerously close to whining, but Leila could hardly blame him.
“I do want to meet them, Luke, but I am not climbing. No. I won’t.”
Luke ran a hand through his hair. “Come on, Leila. It’s not that bad. Don’t you trust me to keep you safe?”
She shook her head, which obviously hurt his feelings, but it was the truth. “When it comes to heights, I don’t trust anyone. I’m not doing it.”
Feeling a little calmer and more in control now that she had made her objections very, very clear, Leila stood. Luke jumped up as well. “You’re not leaving, are you?”
“Yes.”
“But …” He glanced over at Rick and Andrew who looked confused and irritated that they were still standing there waiting for us. Luke glanced back at Leila. She knew he had been looking forward to seeing his friends. Andrew didn’t live in town, and Rick was a travel writer that spent more time away from Chicago than in it. Leila’s head was beginning to hurt, and she desperately wanted to leave. She decided to make it easy on Luke.
“I’m going, but you should stay. Tell them I’m sick. Or tell them I’m a huge chicken and won’t get within ten feet of a climbing wall. I don’t care. Either way, I’m going home.”
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