I gasped at the sight of him and realized immediately I was both terrified and relieved at the same time. Terrified because the last time I was with him I watched helplessly as he murdered two people in cold blood.
I was relieved because he didn’t abandon me like I had initially thought. He had come back for me. He was going to fix this.
I tightly wrapped the thin blanket around myself and whispered, “Adrian, where the hell have you been?”
He shrugged his shoulders and casually answered, “Around.”
He remained kneeling in front of my bed wearing that familiar leather jacket and dark denim jeans. I waited for him to elaborate but he remained silent and detached as he stared at me.
I sat up in the bed and wrapped the blanket even tighter around my shoulders to keep my body from shivering. “Around town? Because so far, everyone I’ve spoken to seems to believe you’re a ghost that I’ve made up.”
It was cold in my cell but his presence seemed to make it icy. I could see my breath as I spoke to him in hushed whispers. “I need you to get in contact with Chrissy. She can take you to Detective Albright and get this whole mess straightened out.”
Adrian remained still. “I’m not concerned about that right now.”
“What?” I yelled before realizing that my shouting was going to draw attention to ourselves, which brought me to my next question, “How did you get in here?”
He nodded his head toward the cell gate. “Gonzalez let me in.”
I rolled my eyes as I silently thought to myself that Gonzalez must have quite the side business allowing guests to sneak in after visiting hours.
Still leaning in front of my bed, Adrian took my hand and held it tightly in his. I attempted to pull away but he wouldn’t allow it. “You remember, Sidney. I know you refuse to believe it but the dreams are true. Why else would you be drawn to me? Why else would you choose me over Ray?”
Now I found the strength to tear my hand away from his and once I did, I had to resist the urge not to use my newly-freed hand to slap him across his face for the audacity of his claim, “I never chose you over Ray!”
Adrian argued with a smile, “On the contrary. Ray asked you time and again not to see me but you continued to ignore his requests. Then he asked you to marry him and instead of saying yes, you ran straight to me.”
“I did say yes to Ray.
He smiled. “After staying the night with me.”
Now it felt as if Adrian slapped me with those last words. Slapped me right into silence. I had no clever comeback this time because there was nothing I could say. What he said was true.
Adrian continued to show me the ways of my wrongs. “Then the ultimate choice was laid out in front of you: Ray’s life or mine.”
Adrian shrugged his shoulders casually. “You chose me because you remembered our lives together, and you love me.”
“I chose not to shoot you because I’m not a murderer,” I argued.
“No, you chose it because you love me.”
I laid my head on my thin pillow and put my hands over my head. This whole conversation was pointless. It didn’t matter if I remembered my dreams, my life with Samael, or the fact that I still loved Adrian.
What did any of that matter now? My life was pretty much over.
Then I remembered the real issue at hand. “You killed your sister and Ray and now I’m about to go down for it. You also must have done something with Lilly’s body because the cops can’t seem to find it. They believe she’s just another ghost I made up.”
I shook my head in frustration. This time as my body shook, I wasn’t sure if it was due to my anger or the frigid conditions this place was causing me to suffer.
“They think I’m crazy, Adrian.”
Again, my words seemed to have little effect on him. He simply smiled. “They can’t find Lil’s body because they can’t see her. Just like they can’t see me.”
Oh God, I really am crazy.
Adrian’s here with me now, he’s actually come back for me but now he’s saying the same crap as Albright and Scott. I shook my head in denial as I continued to fight for my sanity. “But Ray could see you.”
Then a thought hit me.
It was a question I’d been burning to ask and now I finally had my opportunity. I sat up on my knees and gripped Adrian’s shoulders as I stared at him intently. “You referred to Ray as Adam that night in the mausoleum.”
Adrian shook my hands from his shoulders. “So?”
“So does that mean he’s a part of this too?”
Adrian stood up and began to pace back and forth inside of the cell as his gaze fell to the floor. “I suppose he is. A very small part that’s basically irrelevant to us.”
Realizing Adrian still saw Ray as competition, I began to accept that he would never give me the answers I sought. I sat back against the wall and crossed my arms. “Ray’s irrelevant because you killed him.”
“He’s not dead.”
I jumped up and ran to Adrian and asked him with more excitement than he cared to hear, “He’s not?”
“Ray could see me and my sister because he was part of this too. We are all connected.”
He struggled with the next line, looking as though he really did not want to share the information with me. “Just because Ray’s gone from this world doesn’t mean he’s gone completely.”
I knew it! This was exactly what I was trying to explain to that blockhead detective, but he just wasn’t getting it. I was so happy I could jump for joy. “He’s back in the Garden, isn’t he?”
Adrian cringed at my excitement. But then he creatively constructed his next words to allow me to see how dire the situation could be, “Yes. He and Lil are both back in the Garden.”
“Together?” I asked as I felt a new feeling arise; the feeling of jealousy. All of a sudden I wanted to throw up that double cheeseburger I’d eaten for lunch.
Adrian saw his opening and took full advantage of the situation as he fell back into his familiar role of comforting me. “Don’t be upset, Sidney. When you dream of the Garden are you ever emotionally wrapped up in Adam?”
“No. I’ve never even seen Adam in my dreams.”
Adrian brought his hand to my face and brushed a loose strand of hair back behind my ear. I didn’t flinch as I suspected I might. Instead I closed my eyes and leaned into his warm palm; allowing the heat of his body to sink into my skin. He still felt so good.
“And what about Samael?” he asked. “How do you feel about him?”
Without opening my eyes and without feeling the need to separate the two, I answered honestly, “I told you already. I love you in my dreams.”
He gripped the back of my head and pulled me into him.
“Exactly,” he whispered into my ear as he gripped a handful of my hair and sharply inhaled. “That’s how irrelevant Ray will be to us when we go back. You won’t even care if you ever see his face again.” He brushed his lips against my cheek. “You’ll be too busy being happy with me.”
The feeling was a bit unsettling. I couldn’t imagine living in the same world as Ray and not loving him as deeply as I do now. But it was time to finally push my selfish feelings aside and worry about what mattered most.
“But will Ray be okay in this other world? He’s happy and healthy, right?”
Still troubled by my attachment to my dead fiancé, Adrian answered as best as he could, “Ray’s just fine, I promise you.”
He reached over and took my hand, “Now can we worry about us please?”
My heart skipped a beat at his words. He still wanted to be with me. But after everything I knew, how could I agree?
I released his hand and scooted back against the wall. “But you’re Samael,” I reasoned. “You’re evil.”
He flinched and sounded almost offended. “Says who?”
“It’s in your book. You’re the devil.”
Adrian laughed at my outlandish accusations. “Where does it say that?”
Now he was truly making me feel as if I had indeed lost my mind. Of course I had remembered suspecting Adrian to be Satan after reading those lines in the book but now I seemed to be at a loss for proof as he was now demanding it from me.
I shook my head. “I don’t know. It says you’re regarded as both good and evil. That you are defined as an accuser, seducer, and destroyer.”
Adrian didn’t deny it; instead he remained rational. “So how does that translate into me being the devil?”
When asked point-blank, I didn’t have a very good answer. “I guess I just assumed it. If I am to believe that your Father is God then you must be…”
Adrian grew serious again. “The devil is such a person. But it’s not me.”
I knew who the evil one was before Adrian had a chance to elaborate. I had seen him in my dreams and had always known who he was. I just never realized what he was.
“Samjaza.” Just saying the name out loud brought shivers down my spine.
He nodded.
I looked into Adrian’s eyes as I attempted to understand all of this. I argued, “But you made a deal with him so that makes you just as terrible.”
Adrian gripped my hands firmly as he stared into my eyes. “So did you.”
I searched my memory, trying to remember what sort of deal Eve must have made with Samjaza, but realized that I hadn’t gotten that far in my dreams. I didn’t know what sort of deal Eve had made. Did she sell her soul to the devil to be with Samael? Or was this just his contract?
Adrian seemed so sure we were going to be able to live happily ever after in the Garden. If that were true, then what price did we pay?
As if on cue, Adrian began, “I’m going back home now.”
I chose to remain ignorant. “To New Jersey?”
He shook his head as his eyes never left my face. “No, not there. My real home, Sidney; our home. I want you to come with me.”
How could I go with him? Did he fail to see the three tons of mortar, cement, and the six-inch steel bars that kept me locked in here?
Don’t tell me this guy is Houdini.
Then Adrian pulled something out of his back pocket.
Even in the dark I could still see the red rubies glistening magnificently. It was the dagger I had seen so many times before in my dreams. The same dagger he had used to kill Lilly and Ray.
Immediately, I was filled with terror.
“W-What are you going to do with that?” I stammered.
“Stop asking questions when you already know the answer, Sidney.” Placing the dagger in my hands he said, “I told you before, this is nothing but a dream. You know what you have to do to wake up from this.”
This wasn’t making sense to me. “If you wanted me dead, then why didn’t you just let Lilly finish me off in the mausoleum?” I asked, more than a little confused.
He looked at me in surprise. “I don’t want you dead, Sidney. I want you living the life that was stolen from you, stolen from us.”
Again he held the dagger out toward me.
“In addition to the pendant, Samjaza also enchanted this dagger. Had my sister shot you with that gun you just would have been born into another life.”
He ran his fingers through his dark hair in frustration. “And having no other descendants to pass the necklace to, Eve’s soul would have been lost forever.”
It bothered me that Adrian used her name instead of mine. I didn’t understand the internal battle I was having with myself over a few choice words of his. If Eve and I were one and the same, then why did I feel as if I were competing with her for Adrian’s love?
Adrian continued his logic without noticing my struggle. “Whoever’s blood touches this blade is allowed access back into the Garden. All we have to do is plunge it into our bodies and when we awake, we’ll be in Eden.”
His eyes burned bright with passion. They were filled with hope. “We’ll be together, Eve.”
Saying her name was all it took to undo my commitment here. I broke away from his grip. “I’m not Eve!” I screamed. “And this knife; it’s the knife you used to kill Ray.”
I shuddered at the memory.
Adrian remained calm, despite my outburst. “The dagger is the only object that can get you back into the Garden.”
He was not giving up as he slid the dagger across the floor to me. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of my voice, instead I sat in silence, staring at it.
“Life is nothing more than a dream while your soul is sleeping,” he persisted.
After a long silence, I snuck a glance in his direction. Our eyes met and the spark that sent the butterflies fluttering inside me was still there. He was still just as beautiful as before and no matter how much I loathed him, I still loved him.
I growled at him, “You and your riddles. I’m sick of them.”
He remained calm. “This body means nothing. It will perish in the earth and turn back into dust after you are dead and buried in the ground.”
His words sent shivers down my spine.
Why is he talking about me being dead and decaying in the ground?
“I think I know what happens to my body after I die, I learned that in third grade.”
The sneer on my face masked any feelings I may have had left for this man. I would never forgive him for what he had done to me. He had destroyed me. He murdered Ray…
“I didn’t kill Ray.” he said right on cue as if reading my thoughts. “Look, Sidney.” He reached across the bed and took my hands in his. I didn’t try to pull away this time. It felt too good to have him touch me. So instead, I began to cry. He lifted his finger to my cheek and brushed a tear away. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m crying because I’m so stupid and I’m ashamed of my feelings for you.” By now I was inconsolable, heaving as a river of tears rolled off my face. “Why do I still love you?” I whispered.
With that, he took my face in both of his hands and kissed me deeply.
Passionately.
For a second, the walls of the jail fell down and there were no more bars, no more inmates or prison guards. It was just he and I. Everything would be okay if I had him by my side.
He slowly pulled away, opened his eyes, and looked up at me. His green eyes filled with desire.
“You need to understand that all of this is false,” he declared, waving his arm across the room. “Almost like an illusion. None of it matters. The only thing that matters is your soul. And it’s sleeping right now. Everything here is a dream. Nothing more. Take the dagger and wake your soul up. That’s all it takes for us to be together.”
He was now pleading with me.
“Remember your own words, Sidney. When conditions are no longer sufficient, we cease to exist. Look around you, Sidney. Conditions are not sufficient.”
What he was saying was the perfect solution to all of this. He was convincing me this was one big nightmare that I needed to wake up from forever. I was almost sold on this idea had it not been for all of my grandmother’s warnings I had heard growing up. All of the warnings about the devil trying to “steal your soul.”
Is that what was happening right now? The devil was the most charming liar in the universe. I had always thought it would be more point blank. Like a little red man with a pitchfork offering me a million dollars and all I would have to do is sign here. Never did I contemplate that the devil would be my gorgeous lover pleading for me to kill myself so we could be together in the afterlife. But then again, wasn’t the devil some kind of angel at one point? So it wouldn’t be so far-fetched for this beautiful face of an angel to really be the devil trying to lure me from a path of good to evil.
Yes, Satan was that crafty.
I was so confused.
“I want to be with you…” I said weakly, unable to lift my eyes to his.
Then it was as if someone flipped a switch and all of a sudden my brain began to work again as the logic came rushing into my head. Dr. Scott had been visiting me daily. There is only one reas
on a psych doctor comes to you while you’re in jail.
She believed I was crazy. She had already told me Adrian was not real. That somehow he was a figment of my imagination. I had refused to believe her. Adrian was as real as this cell. I can touch him, feel him and even love him. But now he’s telling me that I need to kill myself and when I do, I’ll be reunited with my dead fiancé back in a place where there’s nothing but flowers and love and freedom.
Isn’t that the exact bullshit I’ve spent my whole life not believing?
The stories about living your life purely so when you die, you’ll go to heaven and you’ll live your happily ever after were being pummeled into my confused mind. Adrian was trying to sell me the same crap that he himself had led me to believe was a sham. He didn’t believe in God, or heaven or hell, so how could he tell me to end my life so that we can be reunited together in another land?
But then again if it’s wrong, how could I have been dreaming about it? How did my mother dream the same things? Did my mother kill herself to be united with Samael? If so, then why is he now here for me?
Maybe I’m just another soul for him to collect.
Adrian’s voice broke my thoughts. “You’ve been running your whole life, Sidney. You’re almost to the finish line.” Those green eyes bored into me as he tried to make me understand. “Will you make this one last sprint?”
In a shaky voice, I answered, “I need time to think about this.”
“Okay. I’ll come back tomorrow night.” He leaned in to kiss me. Surprisingly, I gripped his black hair and accepted the kiss, never wanting it to end. The only time I was happy was when I was with him.
Could this really be my life forever if I listen to him?
He slowly broke away, ending our kiss. Ending my salvation. “I love you, Sidney.”
And then he was gone.
Chapter 20
Wake the Dead
I laid awake until the sun came up, and even then I remained frozen in the same position until the entire day passed and the sun set again. After sixteen straight hours of contemplating, I finally proposed to end my life.
Between Worlds (Pendant Series Book 3) Page 12