by Paige Dearth
“What’s up, little man?” Juju asked, her voice cracking.
“You’re the best sister ever. You should shower more, though, ’cause you’re kinda stinky. I mean, ya smell like ass,” Seth joked.
“Yeah, well, your breath stinks like elephant shit,” Juju countered.
Everyone in the room joined in a mournful laugh, including Seth.
“Joey,” Seth said as she moved next to him. “I’m sorry we never got married. But when you do, and you have a baby, can you name your baby after me?”
Joey nodded. She crawled on top of him and laid her head on his chest, which was all skin and bones. She could hear his heart pattering unnaturally fast.
“It doesn’t matter who I marry. He’ll never be as good as you,” Joey assured him as her bottom lip quivered.
“Aggie promised me she’ll take care of you,” Seth said proudly, to let her know he’d hooked her up.
Joey lay with him for the next fifteen minutes, as all of them swam in their own silent thoughts and regrets.
“Aggie,” Seth breathed. “It’s been really hard to live, but I’m more afraid to die.”
Maggie went to him and brushed his curls from his eyes. “I know, Seth, but you’ve always been brave.”
“I love you, Aggie. I can’t stay awake anymore. I don’t think I’m gonna wake up again. Will you give this to Juliet and Ron so they can remember me? Tell them the story about it so they know what to do…for other kids, OK?” Seth asked, shoving something into Maggie’s hand.
“I love you too, baby. I’m going to make you very proud. Having you made all the bad things worth it. I’m going to miss you so much. A day won’t go by that I won’t wish we were together,” she said.
A tender peacefulness came over Seth as he listened to Maggie and believed that through her, he would never be forgotten. Seth closed his eyes, and Maggie rested her loving hand over his heart. Less than a minute later, Seth was gone.
Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Five
Maggie clung to Seth with all her might as if she might keep him from dying.
“No, oh God, no. Seth. Please come back. Just for a little longer. I’m not ready yet,” Maggie cried.
She was lying on the mattress holding Seth’s dead body. Her grief exploded as her chest heaved, expanding and contracting violently. After a few minutes, Juju walked over to the mattress and pulled Maggie from Seth.
“Come here, Maggie,” Juju said, giving her a bear hug to settle her trembling body.
Maggie reached over and pulled Joey into them. The thirteen-year-old girl felt as though she was falling into an endless black hole. Her loss was unbearable. Seth was her best friend, and she loved him. Joey’s face and neck were blotchy, and the tears dribbled off her chin.
“What are we gonna do now?” Joey asked.
“I don’t know,” Maggie blubbered. “I just don’t know.”
Ron and Juliet Frey were huddled on the other side of the room. This was the second time they were grieving the loss of their child. It was an agonizing bereavement, and neither of them could believe what had happened. They were so grateful to be able to see their son again. But losing him again forever was a terrible blow.
Maggie came to her senses and felt something pricking the palm of her hand. She uncurled her fingers, and there sat the miniature, plastic, soldier. The toy Maggie and Juju had given to Seth when he was living with Thelma.
Maggie walked over to the Freys and held her hand out, palm up. “This is for you. Seth wanted you to have it. It was given to him several years ago. He had been living with that horrible woman I told you about, and his spirit was very broken at the time. I told him this soldier was a war hero, and I bought it for him because he was so brave. He wanted you to have it; he wanted you to be brave. This is Seth’s only possession, and he picked you two to keep it for him…a sign that Seth loved you,” Maggie offered. “He wouldn’t ever give this away to just anyone. It was his way of saying that he was happy that you found him. He told me it’s for you to remember him and to help other kids.”
Juliet and Ron looked at the cheap toy soldier. It was Seth’s only possession, kept bouncing around in Juliet’s mind. It’s for you to remember him and to help other kids.
Juliet grabbed Maggie around the waist and pulled her close. “Dear God, Maggie. You were a wonderful mother to our son. Ron and I, well, we want you to know it gives us comfort that you were with him when we couldn’t be. We’ll always be grateful for what you did for our baby.”
Three days later, a group of people gathered at a gravesite in New Jersey, close to where Juliet and Ron lived. To avoid making Rock suspicious, Colby had given other undercover agents money to pay to be with Maggie for the entire afternoon. He couldn’t risk Rock finding out that he and Maggie were working together.
Maggie, Juju, and Joey stood together on the side of Seth’s coffin with their heads hanging low. The Freys stood next to them, with twenty other family members and friends. As the priest said his final blessing, Juliet handed Maggie a single white rose. Maggie looked confused.
“Place the rose on top of the coffin,” Juliet whispered, her eyes teary.
Maggie stepped forward and gently placed the rose where she imagined Seth’s heart lay inside the gray box. She placed her hand on top of the coffin and said a silent prayer.
God, please keep Seth safe in your arms. He’s a good boy and didn’t deserve all the bad things that happened to him. And God, please make John William and Myles suffer agonizing deaths. So many have been lost because of them.
Maggie turned and took her place, watching as others put red roses on top of the coffin and headed back to their cars. She noticed Juju grab a woman’s hand. The woman put her arm around Juju, giving her comfort, and Maggie knew she was Juju’s girlfriend. It was so nice of her to come here for Juju, Maggie reflected. The crowd had thinned, and Juju pulled on Maggie’s arm.
“Maggie, this is my girlfriend, Rory,” Juju said quietly.
Maggie turned to the tall, blond-haired, brown-eyed woman. “Hi,” Maggie managed. “Thank you for coming.”
“Hi. I’m sorry we have to meet under these circumstances. I wanted to be here for Juju,” Rory explained.
“That’s great. It’s nice to meet you, and thanks again for coming,” Maggie said absentmindedly.
When it was only the Freys, Maggie, Joey, Juju, and Rory left, Maggie asked all of them for a moment alone. She stared at the name on the shiny rock. Seth. No last name, no date of birth or death, only his name.
Maggie felt as gloomy as the overcast, sunless sky was. She didn’t want to leave Seth there alone and imagined him when he was well. Her heart ached at the thought of going on without him. With her chin against her chest, she allowed herself to wail in the privacy of her own space and time. Her stomach twisted at the loss of Seth as her sorrow pressed in on her. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself. Then there was a gentle hand on her shoulder, and she turned to see Colby standing behind her.
“I’m so sorry, Maggie,” Colby said in a solemn voice.
Maggie and Colby had only seen each other a couple of times at Doubles during the final weeks of Seth’s life. While the Freys sneaked into the apartment every night, it was just too dangerous for Colby to be there too.
“Come on,” Colby urged her, “it’s time to go. You gave him all that you had, and he loved you more than he loved anyone else.”
Maggie nodded. “I know. It’s just that I never expected…I mean he always had bouts of coughing and…maybe if I had paid more attention, I could have saved him…gotten him medical attention before the disease took hold. I’ll never forgive myself for not knowing, not doing more. He trusted me.”
Maggie let out uncontrollable harrowing groans, and Colby snatched her up into his arms. Her body trembled as her despair took root in the center of her heart. She wanted to turn back time, she wanted Seth back in her arms and back in her life.
“N-n-nothing will ever be the same again,”
Maggie wailed.
“No, it won’t,” Colby told her with determination. “But you can and will make a difference. I’ll see to that.”
As Maggie walked toward the car, Colby had her wrapped in his strong arms. Joey scampered toward them as they approached Colby’s car.
“Oh, Maggie,” Joey whimpered, “what will we do without him?”
Maggie remembered her promise to Seth: to take care of Joey. She opened her arms and clutched the young girl to her. In silence, Maggie, Juju, and Joey slid into the backseat of Colby’s car. As they drove away, Maggie took one last glimpse of the fresh gravesite, Seth’s final resting place.
Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Six
The night of Seth’s funeral, Maggie was back at Double Visions, working. When she came out on stage, many of the onlookers felt a twinge of sadness as they watched her dance. Shiver had told several of Maggie’s regulars that Seth had died. As Maggie went around the bar and collected her tips, many of the men gave her a little more money than usual, tipping her two or three dollars instead of one. At the end of her rounds, Maggie spotted Tony and Vincent watching her. They hadn’t been back to Doubles since the police took Emma away. The only reason they had come in was to keep an eye out for Emma—on their boss’s instruction.
Seeing them suddenly made Maggie miss Emma, as well, compounding her sense of loss.
“Hi, guys,” she said in a low voice.
“Little Maggie, how ya holdin’ up? Vincent and me, we heard ’bout what happened to your kid and came by to offer our condolences. Is there anything we can do?” Tony said.
“Thank you for coming to see me,” she responded modestly. “It really means a lot. I appreciate everything, but there’s really nothing anyone can do.”
“We heard from some of the people here that the kid had AIDS,” Vincent said wanting to know for sure.
“Yeah, he did,” she said, gulping.
“How’d a kid that young get it?” Vincent pressed, wanting to hear it from Maggie.
“I imagine from when he was a small boy. There were so many men…” Maggie’s voice trailed off.
“Holy shit. What da fuck is wrong wit’ these rotten bastards? If I ever run into one of those mudder fuckers, they’ll be sorry,” Vincent exclaimed, forgetting about Maggie’s feelings.
Maggie gave him a weak smile. “I don’t doubt it, Vincent. But it won’t bring Seth back to me.”
“You’re so insensitive, Vin. I mean, the girl just lost her kid, and you’re talkin’ ’bout the perverted dick bags that did this to him,” Tony scolded.
“Ah, I don’t mean nothin’ by it, little Maggie. It just boils my blood, is all I’m tryin’ to tell ya,” Vincent said with remorse.
Maggie put her hand over Vincent’s. “It’s OK. I understand. It’s not like I haven’t given those assholes a lot of thought over the past weeks. I just figure someday they’ll get everything they deserve.”
Then she changed the subject. “So do you two know where Emma is? Since she was taken out of here by the police, we haven’t heard anything from her,” Maggie said.
“Nah, all we know is that Emma ain’t comin’ back for a while,” Tony said.
“How long?” Maggie asked.
Tony fidgeted with the cigarette lighter sitting on the bar in front of him. “Don’t know for sure. We ain’t heard too much ’bout what’s goin’ on,” he lied.
“OK, well if you see her, tell her that I would love to talk to her. Emma always seemed to relate to the things I’ve been through. I miss talking to her. I envy her strength. She doesn’t take shit from anyone. I could use her ‘fuck ’em all’ attitude right about now,” Maggie told them.
Tony and Vincent nodded, thinking about Emma. She was a straight shooter, all right. Emma would cut someone to their knees sooner than look at them.
“We’ll tell her ya were askin’ for her if we see her,” Tony promised.
Tony reached up on the bar and grabbed a cocktail napkin. Then he gestured to the bartender for a pen. He scribbled something on the napkin and handed it to Maggie.
“We just came by to see how you’re doin’. We don’t get back here much, so if ya need anythin’, ya just give us a ring,” Tony said with a protective edge in his voice.
Maggie’s eyes welled up. “Thank you. If anything comes up, I promise I’ll call you.”
As Tony and Vincent left Doubles, Maggie followed them to the door with her eyes. She put the cocktail napkin into the cup of her bra, recalling what Emma had told her: if there ever comes a day when you can’t handle Rock, then you need to talk to Tony and Vincent. I don’t know if they can help you, but if there was ever a chance for someone to go up against that piece of stank dog shit, it’s the two of them.
For some reason that Maggie didn’t understand, having their phone number made her feel as if she had a tiny bit of control. But that was nothing compared to the feeling of empowerment she’d have in the weeks to come.
Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Seven
“Is there anything else we’re missing, Maggie? Are there any other people who work for Rock who could come back to bite us in the ass?” Colby asked with a sense of urgency.
It had only been ten days since Seth’s funeral, but Colby and his agency were ready to move on Rock’s businesses. Maggie was feeding into Colby’s energy of eliminating Rock and his pimps and thugs once and for all. Now, more than ever, she wanted her freedom. Maggie wanted to begin her life anew, to make good on the promises she’d made to Seth.
“No, no one else I can think of. Just make sure Juju doesn’t get busted. She knows what’s going down, and I don’t want the police to arrest her for dealing. You’ll keep her out of trouble, right?” Maggie asked.
“Yeah, I have that covered. There’s always ‘special circumstances’ we take into account. Juju wouldn’t normally be one of those circumstances, but I told the agency you wouldn’t talk unless she walked away from this whole thing clean. They gave me their word,” Colby said.
Maggie nodded. “Maybe, when this is all over, we can go on a real date?”
Colby eyes turned mischievous. “Well now, Ms. Maggie. Aren’t you getting ballsy all of a sudden, asking me out on a date.”
A genuine smile broke across Maggie’s face for the first time since Seth died. “Yeah, I guess I am. I’ve lost too much time with all of this bullshit—all of my childhood thrown away and then my teenage years. I’m working on saving my twenties.”
Maggie grew serious. “I went to the free clinic in Center City. I got tested for HIV about a week before Seth died.”
“Oh. Did you get the results?” Colby asked, her sudden somberness making his skin prickly.
“Yeah, I’m clean. I’m happy, but how is it that Seth could have gotten HIV in the few years he was exposed, and I can go all this time and not get it?” Maggie wondered aloud.
“You said they made the men use condoms, right?” Colby said.
“Right. But we didn’t always use condoms for oral sex. Those bastards, including Rock, have been playing Russian roulette with my life, with all of our lives. I see things so differently now. I wish it didn’t take Seth dying for me to stop being scared about what they’d do to me if I rebelled. What they’re doing to me and the others is worse than death. I don’t think they could make us suffer more. It’s time for all of this craziness to stop. I’m taking my life back,” Maggie stated with more courage than she actually felt.
Maggie wanted to have a life, and more than anything, she wanted to be away from Rock. But a seed of fear lay like a brick in the pit of her belly. She wasn’t sure she’d know how to live normally. She may be book learned, but her daily life had revolved around sex.
Colby watched as she clenched her teeth tightly. “What is it? What’s worrying you? Rock will stay in prison for a long time; you don’t have to worry.”
“I’m not worried about Rock. When this is all over, I don’t really know how to start my life. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do,�
� Maggie confided.
“Don’t worry, Maggie. You’re a smart girl, and you’ll have time to figure things out,” Colby soothed, feeling her angst.
Less than a week later, Colby met Maggie in the lap dance room at Doubles. The two had been careful to use the seats farthest from other dancers and clients ever since Montana overheard them talking shortly after Maggie started working at the club. They sat side by side. Colby had never looked more serious.
“What is it?” Maggie asked.
“Everything will happen one week from today. They’re going to take out all of Rock’s houses,” Colby said.
“Houses?” Maggie asked.
“Yes, we’ve been able to identify eight houses within a twenty-mile radius where Rock keeps girls,” Colby whispered.
“By ‘keeps girls’ you mean prostitutes, right?” Maggie asked.
Colby nodded.
“Why didn’t I know this?” Maggie pondered aloud.
“We followed some of the men you told us about. We discovered that some were johns, but others were really working for Rock. Three of those people you identified led us to these other houses. The information you gave us is going to free a lot of young women, Maggie,” Colby said.
Maggie nodded, but she was stunned by the knowledge that Rock had prostitution businesses all over the city. No wonder he was so powerful, she finally realized. Drugs, prostitution, porn…his empire was bigger than she’d known. Rock was a user of people, and his only goals were to make money and keep his pig of a wife happy. Maggie smiled, knowing that his days were numbered. She hoped that in prison, he’d get butt fucked every day for the rest of his life.
“OK, so this is good, right? You’re happy. All the work we’ve done together is about to pay off,” Colby reminded her.
“Yeah, I’m definitely happy,” Maggie said, and then she paused. “I need to take care of Joey. That means I have to get her away from Thelma before this all happens.”
Colby scratched his forehead. “I was going to arrange for child protective services to be there when we raid Rock’s home.”