Rommus sighed, still reading the titles of books. "If you need to know right now, then no."
"No? No what?"
"No, I don't see anything between us. I hold great value in our friendship and I appreciate who you are. I admire you and I like being around you. But if by 'feelings' you mean something more than that, then no. I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt your feelings with it, but I am not going to be dishonest."
"Is it that you think our friendship will be compromised? I promise it won't. I'm not a little girl; I'm a woman. I know how serious this sort of thing is. This is life Rommus. This is your life and my life. I know there are a million important things going on, but this is important too."
"I know it's important Alana, but I'm sorry; it's just not what I want right now."
She wiped the tiniest of tears away from an eye. "Rommus, you have to be sure. Stand up, put your arms around me and tell me you feel nothing at all."
"Alana I—"
"Stand up, Rommus. Hold me for just a moment. It's all I ask."
He slowly and reluctantly stood, his chair squealing against the wooden floor. She stepped in and wrapped her arms around him. Even while standing there relaxed, she could feel the power in his muscles. She felt life breathing into him as he drew in each breath. His heartbeat was strong but calm—just like he was. His arms seemed as if they were carved out of stone. They wrapped around her, squeezing her gently so as not to harm her with their might.
But it wasn't right. She could tell by the way he held her that he thought of her a nothing more than a friend. She had learned when she was a lot younger that men who were her friends hugged higher than men who wanted something more. His arms wrapped around her ribcage, and not the small of her back. He was her friend. He wasn't hiding any feelings for her. He was telling her the truth.
Still, she did not want him to let go. She wanted that moment to last forever; as imperfect as it was. She pressed her face into his chest, hoping that his shirt would help to wipe the tears away. She found herself squeezing him harder than she wanted to, which was probably uncomfortable for him. She didn't care.
She pulled away and looked up into his dark eyes. "Nothing."
It wasn't even a question—it was a statement. She knew the answer and didn't even have to ask. There was no sense in embarrassing herself any further or forcing him to comment on feelings he simply did not have. She would have to let go. As soon as the embrace ended, she knew they would be nothing more than friends for the rest of their lives.
"I'm sorry Alana. I don't want to hurt you. I hope you know that."
"I do," she said as she backed away and wiped her eyes.
"I wish things were easier. I'm sorry I can't be the man you want me to be."
She gathered herself for a moment over a sigh. "Vohl tried to kiss me."
"What?"
"Please don't hold it against him. It's my fault. I think I said things that made him think it was okay. He has been hiding his feelings for a long time, and he has not acted on them out of respect for you."
Rommus stared at the floor as he drummed his fingers on the desk. "I can't hold it against him. You're a beautiful woman inside and out. He would be a lucky man to win your affections."
"You're not angry about him hiding it?"
"Not at all. He's an admirable man to go to such great lengths not to offend his friends. He's a good man."
Alana nodded. "He is a good man. I know that."
Rommus paused for a moment and tapped his knuckles on the table. "Do you have feelings for him, or is there nothing there?"
She was afraid that he would ask that question. If she admitted that she had no feelings for Vohl, then he could point out that the situation was a lot like the one between her and him. Feelings were not something that could be forced, and no matter how hard one tried, something could not be made out of nothing. It was a balance between two people, and attempting to make it work on only one side would never do anything but tip everything over.
"I have to admit, Rommus, it has been on my mind since I learned how he felt about me. It's all I can think about. It's why I needed your answer tonight."
Rommus nodded absently. "I see."
"Are you angry at me, Rommus? Are you angry at Vohl? I don't want things to become more complicated than they already are."
Rommus flashed her a quick smile. "I'm not angry at either of you, Alana. I admit I am pretty shocked at all of this, but it's understandable. People feel how they feel; that can't really be helped. Although, he is several centuries older than you, you know."
"He doesn't look old. He looks and acts like people our age. I haven't made any decisions about anything. It's just that I'm not a young girl anymore. I know I'm not old, but I am beginning to feel the need to, you know, settle down or something. I have always been sort of a free spirit, but I want something solid. Does that make sense?"
"Of course it makes sense. I can't hold anything against either of you. You came to me a few times and told me how you felt, and I appreciate that. I also appreciate that you are telling me everything about Vohl as well. If the two of you can make each other happy, then that's what I want for both of you."
Alana let her shoulders slump. "I don't know, Rommus. It's not my first choice, and in a way that's very unfair to Vohl. If I ever chose him, he would know it was only because you refused me first. That's not how love is supposed to be."
"I guess not, but life rarely resembles our perfect dreams. There is no such thing as perfect here in the real world, but in a way, that is its perfection. I find beauty in the flaws; not just between them. But I can't say I know all that much about love; maybe none of us do. I leave that subject to the poets."
"And what subject is there left for you, Rommus? If it's not love that drives you, then what does?"
"War, Alana. I have had to do terrible things. As much as I have tried to avoid it, I kill to bring order to the world. I may lack the divine powers, but I am truly becoming the god of war."
Chapter 31
Vohl dismissed his guards when he arrived at Song's door. The two armored men didn't leave, but walked a few paces and turned to stand guard near the door. The soldiers of Legion Archenarius were prone to disobey orders when it came to protection. None of them would let harm come to their leaders at any cost. Vohl had followed Rommus's lead and allowed the soldiers to protect in the manner they saw fit.
After knocking several times with no answer, Vohl opened the door a crack. "Song? Are you in here?"
When no answer came he drew his sword. His alert guards drew theirs as well, but only one approached, leaving the other to watch for any potential threat in the streets. The hinges creaked and protested as Vohl slowly pushed the door open.
Immediately something flew at him. At first it was just a brown blur, but when heard the growls and snarling barks he knew that it was Song's dog. When Vohl saw the bright yellow eyes, the animal instantly fell under his spell and relaxed. Looking into her eyes, he could feel her emotions very clearly. She was distraught and afraid; and not of Vohl. Something was very wrong, and the dog was undoubtedly worried about something.
Then he saw Song on the floor. He rushed over to him and knelt, checking to see if he was breathing. When he saw that he was, he began slapping his face lightly, trying to bring him to. The dog understood that Vohl was trying to help, and stood calmly by her master, hoping that he would be alright.
Finally Song opened his eyes, only to shut then again as he winced in pain. "Where's Daphne?"
The dog licked his face in relief. Song allowed it for a moment as he struggled to regain his wits, but then gently pushed her away. She reluctantly stepped away and sat, but she did not take her eyes off of him.
"Are you alright, Song? What happened to you?"
Song cradled his forehead in his palm. "I'm not really sure. For several days now I have had bad headaches. I see things during them. I think this is the sixth time it has happened."
"You see thing
s? What do you mean by that? Do they cause you to dream?"
"No, they're not dreams. They are like visions. I am awake when it happens."
"But you were unconscious when I found you. Were you having a vision just now?"
Song rubbed his eyes. "I don't know. It's hard to remember after it happens. The visions are like distant memories. It's like forgetting a dream once you wake up."
"Well perhaps they are only dreams then," Vohl said as he helped Song sit up. "What are you seeing in the visions?"
"Things. Shiny things like jewels. Some metal things. There are a lot of words too, but I can't read them. They're in a language I can't fully understand, sort of like the book I had. But I didn't need to read the words; I could sense their meaning without knowing the language."
"Were you not able to read the book? I thought you could."
"I was, but not very well. It took a very long time to read even a single sentence, and I would often have to go back and reference other parts to figure out what a word meant. Most of it was guessing, although I think I guessed fairly well."
"I see. What else did you see in your visions?"
"Darkness. A gateway into a great black nothing that is everywhere. There is something there too, something hiding there. Light and shadow combined. I can never remember what it is I see there but it ends the vision every time. It's like waking from a nightmare and then not remembering what the nightmare was about."
Vohl stood up and brushed off his knees. "What do you think these visions mean, Song? Do you suffer from injury or disease, or is this something more than delusion or dream?"
Song stood up, but lacking strength he poured himself into a nearby chair. "I don't know. I haven't hit my head on anything if that's what you mean. It seems so real when it's happening, but it makes no sense once I snap out of it. I can only remember bits and pieces."
"Well, I cannot say for sure what the visions mean or what is causing the headaches. However, I do have a guess."
Song eyed him suspiciously. "What's your guess?"
Vohl cleared his throat quietly. "Do you remember a few nights ago after we had gone into the labyrinth? After we had met up, we parted and went our separate ways without going into detail about what Alana and I had found in there."
"Yes, I remember that. What does that have to do with headaches?"
"It is a long and complicated hypothesis, Song. I do not think I can fully explain the entire thing here in one sitting, but I will make an attempt to convey the pertinent information. You had mentioned that The Book of Eternal Wisdom was destroyed in your confrontation with Uritus, but as it turns out, it was not."
"That's impossible. I saw it with my own eyes. The book was blown apart when I killed Uritus. There was nothing left of it but tiny bits of paper."
Vohl motioned to the soldier to hand him the book. "Well, there is a copy."
"That's right! I saw them copying it when I originally stole it. But the copy is incomplete."
Vohl nodded. "That is correct. Alana and I were fortunate enough to discover the copy while you were fighting with Uritus. But I must tell you, Uritus is not dead. He is alive and well."
Song huffed. "Impossible. I saw him crushed by that statue."
"Uritus is afforded the protections of Inshae while he is wearing the robes of Inshae. He is virtually impervious to any attack. I do not believe that your newly discovered magical abilities could harm him while he wears them. What we believe happened is that his arm became exposed during your struggle with him, and the falling statue was able to crush his arm."
"I see. Well at least he is badly injured. It will be hard for him to get in our way now."
Vohl shook his head. "I am afraid that Uritus is fully healed and healthy. His arm is not injured at all. But this is not the bad news that it seems to be."
Song stared in disbelief. "What? He's not injured? How? How can this not be bad news?"
"Uritus told Master Tannis that he and his Mages were able to heal him. The reason I say that the situation is not as dire as it seems is because we are going to need Uritus to protect Medora. The enemy has creatures called Thrahks what will rain down doom upon this army if it is not offered some sort of magical protection. I do not like the idea myself, but I am afraid that we have no other choice."
"I don't see how this is anything but bad news. I thought I was safe from him hunting me down and killing me."
"I do not think he will be able to harm you, Song. As it turns out, I believe you are granted a similar protection to the one Uritus has while wearing the robes of Inshae. His protection is more exact, but yours is just as powerful."
"What on earth are you talking about? I don't have any artifacts of the gods to protect me. You yourself cut off my finger."
"Song, do you not think it is strange that you are able to summon magic? Is it not odd that you seem to be having visions of things you have never seen before? Is it not extraordinary to you that you are somehow able to slip passed even the most alert guards when you are attempting to remain hidden?"
"I am just careful, that's all. I am able to hide because I know how to avoid triggering someone's senses. And I learned some magic when I was running around underground with the Mages. The visions though, I can't explain."
"I think I might be able to, Song. It is my postulation that you are beginning to remember things that you have not yet experienced."
Song laughed. "That makes no sense. I cannot have a memory of something that has not happened yet. It defies all worldly order. Cause happens before effect."
"I think if you reflect on the subject you will come to different conclusions. It is true that our minds understand time as being linear, it does not mean that the reality of time falls neatly within the limits of human understanding. Time is far more complicated than we are capable of imagining.
"But the complexities of time are not what I have come here to discuss. Such things are not my area of expertise, and I will not bother to attempt to master the matter. But I will say that both Rommus and I have traveled through time, and we discovered that we are only able to change the path we take—not our destination."
"I remember hearing you say you traveled through time. How did you do it?"
"Rommus found the star of Tachion. It's a small jewel about the size of a coin whose power can be called forth to ride the light to other time periods. Unfortunately, we lost the artifact and have not been able to find it. But my instincts tell me that it has been found by someone else."
Song looked a little uneasy. "What are you suggesting?"
"You know what I am suggesting, Song. I know you found the star of Tachion. It was your destiny to discover it, just as it was your destiny to have the copy of your book delivered to you."
"My book?"
"Yes, Song. Your book. The blank pages are to hold your words."
Song shook his head. "I don't understand. I can't write the book. It was already written and I can't remember much of it. It was so old. It was written long before I was ever born. I don't even speak the language."
"Yes, Song, the book was written long ago. Things will begin to make sense in time. For now, I think I should begin teaching you the language the book is written in. I think if you have a chance to study what is already written on its pages we will have an easier time moving forward."
"Wait a minute. I still don't understand. You said I had some kind of protection and you never explained it. If Uritus has the robes to protect him, what protects me?"
Vohl bent over to pet Daphne. "Your destiny protects you, Song."
Chapter 32
Soldiers heaved and the heavy gates swung open. They had replaced the great doors that the Medorans had burned on the eastern side of Taburdum, and this time sheets of various metals were riveted to them. This covering offered far better protection from fire and the same method was used to protect the western gate as well. The city was now impervious to any attack that the Medorans could bring to the walls.
; In the distance, the Medorans had assembled their siege engines, but they were too far away to do much damage. There were far too many soldiers surrounding the city for them to move them close enough to launch an effective attack. The Zidaoz smiled thinking of how futile their attempts were.
As he rode into the city he noticed that it was significantly more orderly than the exterior. The walls were thrown together from piles of rubble or stone taken from the city's interior, but inside the city looked as if it was being repaired and kept clean. It was possible that the Vindyri running the place wanted to make a good impression for when he arrived, and attention was only paid to the eastern side of the city.
A large man stepped in front of his horse. "You must be the Zidaoz. My name is Desmond Afornn, I am in command here."
The Zidaoz looked down at the man. "Is it your custom not to salute your superiors when they arrive at your post?"
Desmond laughed. "I have only two superiors, and neither of them are you. I am here to manage this operation, not to worship you. Get that idea out of your head right now."
Anger swelled inside him but he did his best not to show it. "So be it. Have you had your men do as I have instructed?"
"Yes, we built the stairs and the ledge on the southern wall, but I would not stand up there if I were you. From there the Medoran arrows can reach you."
"The one true god will protect me from their weapons. I have no fear of these infidels."
"Bravery is no protection from arrow points. If gods protected brave men, none would die on the battlefield."
The Zidaoz sneered. "Perhaps if the Vindyri would pray to the one true god and not the false gods, you could have defeated the Medorans yourself and not required my army to assist you."
Desmond ran his finger and thumb over his thick mustache. "If you say so, Zidaoz. It's your life. Go ahead and stand up there."
Desmond and a few other Vindyri soldiers accompanied him as they followed the wall to the southern side. Three of the Dirujen also rode behind him on horseback as his bodyguards. He didn't really need their protection, as he was now experienced in calling forth magic to attack or defend as needed. He had grown his power over time at the cost of hundreds of children's lives. But children were plentiful in Bhoor-Rahn, and acquiring them was easy.
Soul Under the Mountain (Legend of Reason Series) Page 18