“Dominic,” I said, lifting my back off of the cool cotton sheets and arching more fully into his skillful touch. “I love you. And I want…”
“Shh,” he soothed. “I know what you want. We want the same thing. Let me take care of you.” He flicked his thumb across my nipples, and my breath hitched. His lips formed a sensual smile. He lowered his head and fastened his mouth around one, swirling his tongue around it and then the other. He drove me crazy with his tongue and his mouth. That was nothing new, but being in bed together without fear of interruption was. That spot between my legs grew wet and began to pulse with need. My legs shifted restlessly. My inner thighs were slick.
“Dominic.” I reached down between our bodies seeking his cock.
“Yeah, baby. I’m right here with you.” He shifted, tugged his boxers down, kicked them aside and rolled on a condom. He moved over me braced on his flexed arms. His eyes were nearly black and his possessive gaze made me feel more desperate. I started to reach for him again, but he grabbed my wrists and brought them over my head, pinning them to the mattress in his grip. “It will happen too fast if you touch me,” he explained before he lowered his head and kissed me long, deep and wet. My lips felt bruised in a good way when he lifted his head. He released my hands, ripped the soaked scrap of lace down my legs, spread my knees wide and settled between my quivering thighs. “You ready for me?”
“Yes,” I managed.
He swiped a thumb back and forth lightly over my center. I shuddered. “Yeah, I think you are.” He stroked a hand down his length while I watched. “Eyes up to me, baby,” he commanded. “I wanna see you looking at me when I make you mine forever.” The moment my gaze met his, he slid his cock inside me. There was a little stinging discomfort because of his size, but not much because of all the pleasurable things he had already done to me leading up to this moment. “You feel so incredible. So tight around my cock. So hot.”
I brought in a shaky breath. His words turned me on. He turned me on. His body and the way he felt inside me.
The remaining tension draining from my limbs, I reached for him, sliding my fingers along the muscular planes of his back down to the curve of his ass. I squeezed it, letting him know without words that I was ready, that I wanted him to move. He began to stroke in and out of me, telling me how beautiful I was and how much he loved me. He showed me with each and every measured thrust that there was a world of difference between what Lincoln and Ramon were doing to that woman in the other room and what we were doing. This was what I wanted. What we wanted. This was making love.
Chapter Fourteen
Ramon
I caught the scent of her sweet coconut fragrance the moment the stairwell door opened. I cleared my expression of the web of tangled emotions that had driven me to the isolated rooftop after the redhead. I watched Karen pause in the doorway. The light behind her made the white sundress translucent and revealed a great deal more of her attributes than she would perhaps have wanted me to see. The door clicked closed behind her, plunging the roof into darkness again. The San Francisco skyline provided the only glow now for the terrace and its potted plants and vacant seating groups.
Thinking she was alone, Karen tiptoed over to the half wall, leaned over it and stared out at the breathtaking view of the moon over the bay. From my dark corner, I took in one of my own. Her stiff posture betrayed that she was pensive. So was I, for lots of reasons. Big changes lay ahead for the Dogs if we could hold things together, which was no sure thing with Linc and Ash at each other’s throats lately over Simone. I brought the joint back to my lips, took another drag and stepped closer to Karen. There wasn’t a question of me remaining hidden. I gravitated to her like the tide to the moon.
I exhaled a breath of smoke at her.
“Ramon.” She coughed, waved her hand in front of her face to dissipate the cloud and turned toward me. Those cute twin creases marred her delicate brow. “Why are you always trying to get on my nerves?”
Good question. “Because it’s easy and fun,” I told her the truth. Most of it.
She opened her mouth seeming on the verge of a retort, but then she clamped it shut. She hugged her arms around herself and turned back to the bay.
Dominic was right, though I would never let him know it. She was different than the others. There was something about her. Something that drew us both, though deep down, I knew he was the better one for her. I didn’t do sugary. I didn’t do sweet. And I certainly didn’t do relationships. Good luck to him with her and all that. I wasn’t letting any chick have the upper hand on me. I took another drag, dropped the reefer and stomped out what was left. She waved her hand again at the lingering skunky smoke, but she didn’t favor me with another glance. I didn’t like that. I enjoyed getting her riled. I enjoyed pushing her buttons. And I enjoyed, not for the first time, imagining what if would be like to have her in my bed.
“What are you doing up here?” I asked. “With all that moaning and shit you were doing in Patch’s room, I didn’t figure you’d be leaving anytime soon.”
“He’s asleep or I wouldn’t have.” She lifted her chin, but I could tell I had embarrassed her. “You probably had your ear pressed to the wall.”
“Didn’t have to. You were so loud anyone on the same floor could hear you.” That sparked her. She turned fiery daggers on me. “At least we had the decency to be behind closed doors.”
“If what I was doing bothered you so much, then why did you keep staring?”
“I didn’t…I wasn’t,” she sputtered.
“Don’t lie.”
She glanced away, her hair a loose curtain that hid her reaction. Something was different about her tonight. I wasn’t sure what it was, but then it dawned on me.
“Ah, I see. Did you let him have a real taste tonight? I always figured you wouldn’t give it up until he put a ring on your finger.” I meant the words to be a dig. It bothered me more than I would ever admit that things had gone to that level with them. Sure she wasn’t for me, not that way. But if I thought I could have gone there with her without worrying about her getting the wrong idea, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat.
“Why do you hate me so much?” she whispered, giving me a wounded look that hurt almost as much as knowing that the final line had been crossed between them. If I’d ever wanted a chance with her, it was gone now. They had a bond now that I would never betray.
“I don’t hate you.” Fucking hell, could she hear the weakness in my voice? Could she guess how jealous I was? How badly I had wished it had been me and not Patch who had made her moan?
“If you don’t then why do you always treat me the way you do?”
“Do you love him?” I snapped.
“Yes.” No hesitation. An unequivocal response. Another bolt of disappointment. I swept it aside. It was for the best. It was good for Patch that she was so certain, because he was damn sure crazy about her.
“He’s a nice guy. Easy to love. I guess. Just don’t think that admission earns you points with me.” I looked away from her. I didn’t want her to see in my eyes that I already held her in higher regard than I had ever held a woman. Every time she refused my advances, it infuriated me. At the same time, I grudgingly respected her for it. “And don’t rip his heart out,” I warned. Karen might be sweet, but that didn’t mean she was honorable. “Like Simone did to Linc.” Like my mom did to my pop, over and over. Like Maria did to my brother.
“She didn’t. He’s the one who…”
“She…left…him. You chicks are all alike, once you’ve got us by the balls.”
Karen cocked her head to the side as if searching for hidden meaning in the vehemence in my tone. I crossed my arms over my chest. “You get an idea you’re moving on, you tell Patch straight out. Don’t string him along.”
“Like that will ever happen.” She dropped her chin. “More likely the other way around with you guys opening for Perry on his next tour. I know the score. I’m not as clueless as you think I am. I saw the way
the girls threw themselves at you tonight.” She turned to look at me. “The girlfriend who stays behind while the band is on the road has to pretend her guy isn’t fooling around or that it doesn’t matter.”
“Patch isn’t like that.” I found myself defending him while at the same time wanting to erase that stricken look in her eyes. “You picked the right guy.”
“Maybe,” she whispered, hugging her arms tighter around herself, almost as if she were already imagining being alone.
“You cold?”
“A little.” That sundress certainly offered little protection from the cold wind coming off the water. I drew my shirt off, pulled it over her head and widened one of the sleeve openings for her as she put her arms through them.
“I’m ok.” She protested, but yet threaded her arms into each sleeve following my lead. “You’ll freeze.”
“You’re shivering, Karen.” I tugged the hem down, feeling a primal surge of satisfaction to see my clothing on her body. “We can share the warmth.” I draped my arms around her shoulders and drew her back into me.
She stiffened. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“And here I thought you were all grown up. Relax. It’s not like I’m undressing you.”
She laughed and my heart warmed, even if my bare skin rebelled against the cold. She made me feel so much it gave me pause. Maybe she was right. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Even so, I tightened my hold and savored the feel of holding her in my arms. Patch wasn’t the only one who was going to miss her when she went back to college.
Chapter Fifteen
Karen
February 2001
“So Dominic’s really being interviewed by Rolling Stone? That’s not just code for one of the groupies screwing his brains out?”
“Please, Karen. We all got tagged by the tour manager to sit in with Perry and answer some questions about what it was like to be on a sold-out tour. Everyone else went, but I was…busy.”
“Yeah, sorry about interrupting that. She sounded…nice.”
“Nice would be the last word I would use to describe her.” I could hear the lasciviousness in his tone.
“Ok. Ok. I get it. No need to say more.” It seemed like every time I called the hotel where the band was staying a woman answered. Sure, Dominic was sharing a room with Ramon. So were Ash and Linc. Necessity had forced the two cousins into an uneasy truce, but in order to do so they had decided not to talk about Simone. All four of them were sacrificing to endure the grind of the extended tour, doing whatever it took to survive the monotony of the road. No penthouse accommodations or fancy meals for the opening band. That kind of stuff was for the headliners. To save money the guys were eating the catered stuff the roadies did each day.
“Don’t worry. Your prince is undefiled, Maleficent. He’s too hung up on you to see or think about anyone else. It’s nauseating. And since you came to the show in New York, even Perry wants to know how the cute Cali girl is doing.”
“Tell him I’m sick of the cold. Sick of the snow. And dying to get back to the ocean.” I sighed.
“You’ve got the Atlantic right outside your door in New Haven.”
“Yeah, but the surf here isn’t the same.”
“No, it’s not.”
“It smells different. Looks different. Feels different. I can’t wait to get back on my board, though I probably won’t remember if I’m right or goofy foot it’s been so long.”
“You’ll remember, surfer girl. You’ll remember. Hang in there.”
I twirled the phone cord around my finger while counting the seconds in my head. I’d have to end the call soon. Dominic insisted I reverse the charges, but he only had that tiny daily allotment that the guys split four ways. He had saved his part for months to pay for my train ticket to visit him in New York. That had been the only time I had seen him since Labor Day. He had made love to me so tenderly, I had cried after I’d left. His eyes had been misty, too. It seemed like an eternity until the summer when I would finish my sophomore year at Yale and we both would return home to OB. The band would finally have a break that coincided with mine but it wouldn’t last. They had to return to the studio soon to start work on another album. The first hadn’t done near as well as Morris had expected.
“I don’t know what the point of all of this is,” I admitted, staring out my dorm window at the falling snow on The Commons and wishing I was looking at the limitless blue of the Pacific instead. “What good is a humanities degree when I just want to open a surf shop and have a family someday?”
“So you’ve mentioned a couple of times. You sound unhappier each time I talk to you. You should tell your parents how you feel.”
“I know,” I mumbled. More and more lately, Ramon’s advice matched Dominic’s. I think they talked about me. “But I’m afraid they won’t understand. My dad will tell me how hard it was for him to work his way up to grocery store manager without a degree. My mom will remind me how lucky I am to have a full scholarship. They would both be right.”
“Sure. Those things might be true. But they’re not your truth. And you’re not their little girl anymore. So make your own choices. Do your own thing. In the end, it’s your life and you only get one to live the way you want to, right? I’ve been to your house before. I’ve seen how your parents are with you. They might get mad, but they’ll eventually come around.”
“Did your dad take it well the first time you told him you were going to be a rock musician?”
“Hell, no. But he changed his mind.”
“Before or after you got the contract with Zenith?”
“Before.”
“Well, he’s a good father. You’re very fortunate.”
“He’s alright.” I got the impression that he was much more than alright. Ramon never spoke a bad word about him. His mom was a different story. The venom he had spewed about the way she treated his father was telling. No wonder Ramon had such a low opinion of women in general.
“Do you think it’ll be hard to put together another album?”
“Nah. Hanging out on the road with Perry has been eye opening. I think this time around we’ll follow our instincts and not second guess everything so much. Morris might not favor our methods, but in the end I’m confident we’ll put out a better product.”
“So Linc and Ash are ready to collaborate together again?”
“I hope so, considering that they don’t talk to each other much beyond the basics.”
“They’ve come a long way. Maybe it’s just gonna take some more time.”
“Maybe, but only if Linc can finally get over Simone. Right now I’m pretty sure every time he looks at Ash all he sees is the guy who came between him and the girl he really wanted.”
“That’s a pretty tall order. Simone’s one of a kind.”
“Yeah, I guess somehow you just have to move on,” he said somberly as if he empathized deeply with the cousin’s conundrum.
“Well, I better let you go. If Dominic…”
“Hold on, Karen. Patch just walked in.” Ramon must have covered the receiver on the hotel room phone. He had been much kinder to me lately. I think he appreciated that I loved his friend and was starting to realize that I wasn’t going to screw him over. Sure, he flirted. Sure he teased. But things felt different between us now. Our roles seemed…
Specified.
Settled.
Safer.
Chapter Sixteen
Ramon
May 2001
“Stop pacing, asshole,” I told Patch. “You’re driving me nuts. You know she’s with her parents celebrating her dad selling the grocery store to the Lavon’s chain. She should be here any minute.”
“What if she’s changed her mind about us?” Patch tore his hands through his hair. He had no problem being on stage in front of thousands yet the thought of seeing Karen again after so many months on the road had him wound tighter than an E string. “Her parents aren’t that thrilled about us.”
�
�Why should that matter?”
“It matters to her.”
“Sure, but only to a point. She’s way into you. Has she given you any reason to think she’s changed her mind?” My gut tensed. I searched his features looking for uncertainty wondering if he had been holding something back.
“No.” He stared up the street again willing her to appear. “She’s just unhappy. At school. On the wrong coast. Trying so hard to please her parents…it’s suffocating her.” He turned his head toward me. “I hear it in her voice though she won’t say as much.”
“Another reason why you’re doing the right thing at the right time.”
“Yeah, but maybe I should wait. Feel her out first. Give it a couple of weeks until I’m more sure of her response.”
“Do what you want to do,” I said. “But if it were me…” If there were another girl like her, breathtaking, sassy, smart, loyal—the opposite of my puta mother and Gonzolo’s wife—“I would tie her to me fast, however I could.” Too many things could go wrong when you waited. Like it had with Linc and Simone.
“She’s here,” he announced in a reverential tone.
I lifted my gaze. She had emerged from behind the cliffs. She must have taken the shortcut down the stairs at Narragansett and picked her way over the slabs of uneven sandstone. Sandals in her hand, wearing a flowing white sundress like the one she had worn that night on the roof, she was unforgettable. Her blonde hair blew loose around her face as if it were as animated as she obviously was. Her high wattage smile could have lit the entire San Diego power grid. She shielded her gaze with her hand against the glare of the sun. For a moment I allowed myself the belief that she was scanning the beach for me. Sometimes, I pretended she was mine when I talked to her on the phone when Patch was busy. But I knew all along it was only a fantasy. It was Patch she loved. Patch her eyes fastened on. There wasn’t room in her heart for another, nor should there have been.
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