“I did.”
“Right. And how about the time Dominic’s plane was delayed in Munich because of that winter storm and you thought he wouldn’t get home to see you? Who sat with you all night watching Jane Austen movies until he wanted to gouge his eyes out?”
“You, you stayed with me, though you couldn’t resist editorializing.”
“I’m a guy, surfer girl. You know I’d have my man card revoked if I acted interested in that kind of shit.” I sighed. “So now that I’ve wasted precious time reestablishing that we’re good friends, tell me what the hell’s going on.”
“Dominic was home a month ago.”
“I know. I was there,” I reminded her, gentling my voice and feeling like an ass. He had looked good, though as was usual lately I hadn’t spent much time with him. He was different. Karen and I had talked a little about it, though I was careful not to criticize. There was little left of the easygoing guy I remembered growing up. Being over there had made him hard. He was a warrior now. He rarely laughed. He watched the rest of us including her with an analytical eye and a detached attitude which made it seem as though we were all in a battle he planned to win. “You’re missing him,” I guessed. It didn’t seem to be getting any easier for her even though Patch would soon be finished with the mandatory portion of his overseas commitment. I was relieved that he would soon have the opportunity to come home. I feared Karen was near the end of her frayed rope.
“Yes, but…” Her voice hitched. She sniffed softly, but I heard her. She was crying. I couldn’t bear it when she cried.
“Five minutes, Martinez,” the harried looking backstage manager urged. She backed away when I whipped my frustrated gaze on her.
“Where are you?” Karen asked.
I ignored her question in lieu of one of my own. “You’ve got five minutes to tell me what’s going on, or so help me when I’m done here I will walk off this stage and come to OB and extract the truth from you myself.”
“I started my period today. I was late, and I had been hoping…but I’m not pregnant. Again. And Dominic doesn’t want to try anymore. Not until he’s back stateside. Simone’s graduating soon. She’s moving away to New York. She’ll be a famous star on Broadway. You’re a successful musician who travels all over the world. Dominic’s working on his degree at night so he can qualify to be an officer. I’m the only one who’s still here. The one everyone feels sorry for. The girl who had the full scholarship to Yale but who went nowhere in her life. Who still lives with her parents and works in a surf shop.”
“Karen,” I breathed. These were thoughts she had only hinted at before. It was obvious to me that it was her disappointment about not being pregnant that was the catalyst for this downward spiral. “Calm down. Take a breath. It’s ok.”
“It is. I know that logically. And that’s the worst part because I know that I don’t have any right to feel this way.”
“You have every right. Your feelings are valid. They’re what makes you who you are. A kind, thoughtful, caring woman who is loyal to her friends and has helped each of them get to where they are today. You are the common denominator for all of us. You are the one we all love.”
“We need you on stage, Mr. Martinez. Right away.”
“I gotta go. Turn on your television. Put it on the Oscars and record it. The Dogs are performing tonight. We’re doing ‘Like a Soldier’, a tribute to Johnny Cash. Linc is dedicating the song to Patch and all the troops currently away from home.”
* * *
“Your cell’s ringing,” Diesel informed me, hair as dark as mine askew, but not from participating in the Oscar after party fray. He had made his token appearance with the rest of the band as required by the label, but the whole time he stood in the back of the room, arms folded over his chest looking down his nose at everyone else, disdainful of the excess and debauchery. The parties resembled the ones backstage when we were on tour, only here there were more dollar signs involved. Billionaires mixed and mingled with top tier celebrities while super thin supermodels instead of strung out groupies circulated the room offering fucks for free.
“So let it ring,” I told him, sliding my hand under the sequined dress of my second indulgence of the night. It was difficult for me to lose myself in a chick anymore. With the first one of the evening, I had been able to envision the one I wanted her to be. With the second, I was having more difficulty detaching from reality. My self-prescribed tonic of pills and champagne was petering out too quickly.
“I would man, for sure. Only you made me promise before the first party that I would monitor your phone and let you know if she called.”
Everyone understood where Karen stood with me. They rode me about it constantly, everyone except Diesel. He seemed to understand my dedication, though he didn’t know Karen all that well.
I set the blonde aside so fast she nearly fell over. Stumbling, she glared, but even before I reached for my phone I noticed she was already scanning the room with calculating eyes looking for her next celebrity mark.
I clicked the call log. I saw two missed calls from an unlisted number. Given Karen’s distress earlier, I scrolled down to call her number when my phone rang again.
“Martinez speaking.”
“Ramon.” The connection was horrible. I recognized his voice regardless.
“Patch.” My heart started to race, panic burning through remaining alcohol and drug induced haze. He never called me. He saved all his overseas minutes for her. “Is Karen ok?”
“She’s fine.”
“Are you ok?”
“I’m fine, too.”
My relief at his reply slowed my heart down. I collapsed into a nearby chair.
“You shouldn’t have done it.”
“I can’t take the credit. The dedication was Linc’s idea.”
“I wasn’t referring to the dedication at the Oscars, although everyone in my unit over here is talking about it. I’m talking about you buying the surf shop for Karen.”
Shit.
I didn’t anticipate the paperwork going through that quickly, though Karen’s boss hadn’t been hard to convince. She had been ready to retire. She loved Karen and had been happy to facilitate the ruse that she was bequeathing it to Karen while working behind the scenes with the real estate company that was representing me. However, no one was supposed to blab about the details. I had wanted my part in it to remain anonymous.
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Bullshit. It’s a huge one. The location on Newport Avenue alone is worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.”
1.5 million to be exact, but I thought it wise not to correct him.
“Look, I know I asked you to look after her, and I’m grateful for all you do for her. She is, too. But dude, it makes me look like a loser, like I can’t take care of Karen and give her the things she really wants. You know we can’t afford shit like that.”
I knew. That was why I had done it. I saw her count her savings yet continually come up short. I saw the longing. Saw her increasing despair that everyone else seemed to be moving forward in pursuit of their own dreams. Knew she felt like a failure, and that she hid those feelings so deep I feared for her. And I also knew that the problems with him were at the center of everything with her. Now that I thought about it, maybe my motivation hadn’t been that benevolent. Had I subconsciously wanted Patch to look bad?
“You weren’t meant to find out,” I admitted. “Neither was she. No one was. It was a gift.”
“Way too fucking extravagant, secret or not. If I figured it out others will, too. You’ve been around those rich nuts in Hollywood too long if you think something like this was the right thing to do.”
“Now wait a minute, Patch.”
“No you wait a minute. Step the fuck back. Get your face out of your latest piece and your brain clear of whatever shit you’re high on and get some perspective. The rest of us have real lives with real concerns. It’s serious as fuck every day over here. We’ve got an
enemy that has no fucking respect for human life. They strap bombs on children and pregnant women and send them into the compound to blow us all to hell.”
I closed my eyes. He rarely talked to her about how things were over there. I wasn’t sure if he was required to keep the details private or if he had to in order to cope. But I knew it cut her deeply that he didn’t share.
“Listen, Ramon. I know I’m jumping your case, man. But you had to know I would be pissed when I found out. You cock blocked me in a major way with my own wife. No way can I ever afford to give her things you can without even blinking an eye or feeling the pinch of it in your bank account.
Oh, I had felt it alright. I had depleted my reserves and borrowed heavily with the label against my future. It would be a long while before I could replenish funds, a long time before I could afford a place of my own where I was set on living someday in OB. “You chose to leave the band,” I reminded him. “If you had stayed, you could have…”
“That life wasn’t for me. And though Karen might not see it now with things being such a challenge for us, it wasn’t right for her, either. The road, the moving from town to town every single day, the craziness of it all, that’s not a good environment for a new marriage. In the beginning, sure it was fun, surfing together and making music. But I grew up.”
I ground my teeth together. He was starting to piss me off. I didn’t think what he was putting her though now was much better. “You’re not the only one who has matured, Patch.”
“Yeah, if you’re so mature, what are you doing right now?” He didn’t give me a chance to answer. “I’ll tell you. The same stupid shit you were doing when I left the group. I would bet the full signing bonus I got for re-upping early on it.”
My anger over his dig went by the wayside, concern for her superseding all else. “You’re staying in Afghanistan for another tour?”
“Yeah, man for another three years. The way I figure it after the shit you pulled, I’ve got no choice.”
“How’s that?” This was going to kill Karen. She had all her hopes riding on him returning stateside. Did he not see what was going on with her? How strained she was? How the worry gnawed at her constantly? How she flared like a flame on high when he was home but dimmed whenever he was away? Was she that good at hiding her true feelings from him? Or did he only see what he wanted to see?
“If you read her email tonight, you would get it. She went to the shop to do inventory. In the middle of the fucking night for who knows what. She found the deed of sale made out in her name on the counter. She was fucking ecstatic. She bought all the bullshit. She’s already making plans. Going on and on about the changes she’s going to make so the place will be more successful.” He let out an agonized sigh that cut me to the bone. “All that fucking money. I hope you choke on it, man. I truly do, the way I feel right now. But I can’t make her give it back. Because more than I want my next breath, I want to give her the things she wants to be happy. But it kills me, man, it positively kills, that you gave her that dream instead of me.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Karen
September 2004
“Put the rash guards over there,” I showed Simone. “I want the boards to all be in one place. Lowest price to highest.” I scraped the bandana back into place over my braid and swiped the sweat from my forehead before it could drip into my eyes. I forced myself not to waste headspace I couldn’t afford right now on my marriage. We were in a bad place. I was furious with Dominic for renewing his commitment early without even discussing it with me. It felt just like when he had enlisted the first time. He made unilateral decisions that left me feeling powerless and more alone than ever, yet he had no problem dressing me down for borrowing against our savings for the new inventory without his consent. “We’re never going to be ready to open in two hours,” I lifted my panic filled gaze to my longtime friend. “The caterer’s not even here yet.”
“It’ll be ok.” Simone put her hands on my shoulders. “Take a deep breath. So what if there are no hot dogs. It’s ok if the boards aren’t exactly the way you want them. The changes you have made to the store since you took over kick ass. And this grand reopening party is a great idea. Everyone in town is talking about it.”
“Only because the Dirt Dogs are doing a free show at the pier and a meet and greet over here afterward.”
A slash of pain cut through Simone’s gaze.
“I’m sorry. I thought with you and John dating that you would be ok with Linc being here.”
“John and I are over. We were over before it even started. He told me there wasn’t enough room in my bed for three.”
“Oh, Simone. I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok.”
“And you flew all the way out here to help me even knowing Linc would be around?”
“I would do anything for you, honey. When is that going to sink into your head?”
“I’d do anything for you, too.” I gathered her hands and pressed my forehead to hers. “I love you.”
“Right back at ya times infinity,” she whispered.
“You can take off if you need to. I’ll be ok.”
“So will I. I’m not going anywhere. Not until the meet and greet. I’ll let your parents take over then. Just in case. This is your big dream. I want to be here. You’ve been out to New York to see all my sucky shows so far.”
“You sent me plane and show tickets. And they weren’t sucky.”
“They were. I don’t think any of them ran longer than two weeks.”
“You were brilliant in each role.”
“Spoken like the true friend of an artist.” She pulled back and straightened her Offshore shop t-shirt. “I’ll rearrange the boards. You call the caterer.”
* * *
“I just closed the front door. But we’ll have to reorder inventory in the morning.” I dropped the last trash sack into the dumpster and collapsed into a folding chair beside my dad. “But I’m too tired to do anything else right now.”
“Offshore is a huge success, Sunshine.”
“It is. Isn’t it?” I gave my dad a tired grin.
“I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks, Daddy. I appreciate you and mom helping out.”
“Anything for you.” He leaned back in his chair and took a long pull on his beer.
I did the same with mine, enjoying the peace and solitude in the alleyway behind the shop after the insanity of the day. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, trying not to think about the only downside. But I failed because it was a big downside, one that had been nagging at me for a while.
Ramon was avoiding me, like majorly avoiding me, and he had been doing it for the past six months ever since I took ownership of the shop. At first I had believed him when he claimed to be too busy to talk. After all, the Dogs had been swamped with endorsement and appearance requests ever since the Oscars. I had felt fortunate that they had been able to fit in my grand opening.
But Ramon hadn’t been too busy today. He had been hanging around flirting with the girls from Hooter’s. Whenever I had tried to get his attention, he had shooed me away as if I were his personal assistant and he was sending me off to fetch him a bottled water.
It pissed me off just thinking about it even hours later. If he didn’t want to be around me anymore, if our friendship was through, he should just tell me right to my face.
“Daddy,” I called sitting up straight in my chair. “I think I’m gonna go for a walk. Can you lock up and set the alarm for me?”
“Absolutely.” I could feel his speculative gaze on me as I took the bandana off my head and slid it into the back pocket of my cutoffs. “You heading to any place in particular?” he queried in an odd tone.
“Yeah.” I turned to look at him.
“Do you think that’s wise, honey?” He gave me along pointed look. “I think Ramon made it pretty clear more than a couple of times today that he wants you to leave him be. And you know since…” He trailed off,
his leading statement making the fine hairs at the back of my neck stand on end.
“No, I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking?” A little dose of Ramon’s no bullshit practicality seemed to be what was called for at the moment.
“Well no one knows about the shop except for us and Dominic, but folks have been speculating about it and about you and Ramon and the nature of your friendship.”
“Oh, they have, have they?” My cheeks flamed. I put my hands on my hips.
He nodded somberly. “Don’t you think it would be best if you spent a little less time with him?”
My stomach knotted on that thought. “He’s my friend, Daddy,” I whispered. “Nothing like what you’ve suggested has ever happened between us.”
“I believe you.” He gave me along searching look in the encroaching darkness. “But you two are very close, and the way he looks at you sometimes, I wonder if maybe it’s only a matter of time before what’s between you harms your marriage.”
Tears filled my eyes. Deep down in my heart, I wondered if he might be right.
“I love you.” I stood, leaned over and kissed my father’s cheek, absolving him for speaking the unvarnished truth. “But I need to do this.” Needed to know what was going on. Needed to confront Ramon. To get everything out into the open. “Thanks for being the best dad in the world and thanks for locking up for me.”
I wasn’t sure what was going to happen as I turned my feet in the direction of the OB Hotel where I knew Ramon and the rest of the guys were staying, but I was more determined than ever to figure things out.
* * *
I heard the loud music as soon as I ducked beneath the portico. The bass thumped against my chest as I climbed the stairs in the inner courtyard. I dodged women on the staircase I recognized from town, but I doubted they wanted me to acknowledge them since they were all naked from the waist up. It seemed the Dirt Dogs’ topless party policy lived on.
Riptide (Rock Stars, Surf and Second Chances Book 2) Page 13