“Karen.” The shop bell jingled along with my name.
My eyes lit up at the sight of his handsome face.
“Sorry I’m late. Ash came over.”
“Oh. Did he love your songs?”
He nodded and drew me toward him, stroking my cheek with his thumb. I pressed more deeply into his caress. He seemed surprised. He stepped closer, his heat and his scent engulfing me. He slid his hand beneath my braid, and from just that simple touch, my legs began to quiver. “I’m going in to sign the contract with him and the Outside label tomorrow.”
“That’s wonderful. We should celebrate tonight.” My eyes glittered with tears. His gaze narrowed. I avoided his eyes. He would read in them too much, and I wasn’t ready yet. I needed the perfect setting to say the words.
“Where would you like to go?” he asked as I senselessly dug around in my backpack for the key that I already had in my hand. “We could drive to Coronado. Eat at the Del?”
I met his eyes after I set the alarm. I motioned him outside. I turned the key and pocketed it. “Would you mind if we just picked up something and ate it at your place, out on the deck like a picnic maybe?”
I had an idea how I wanted this to be and a crowded restaurant wouldn’t work.
“Sure,” he agreed. “Whatever you’d like.”
I called in the order for sandwiches, pasta salad and chocolate covered strawberries from Lavon’s. I could feel his intense scrutiny as I finished the call. I figured he knew he was getting lucky given the dessert choice, but I actually felt like the fortunate one.
He dropped me off at the house. I told him I wanted a shower, but really I just wanted a chance to get everything ready, including myself.
When he returned I was waiting for him. I’d fashioned an impromptu A-frame for privacy using the deck furniture and a sheet, a spread-out blanket and pillows over the concrete and shielded candles in glasses from the kitchen. It was a little windy. I didn’t want to set the linens on fire. And then there was me. All of me. I let all that I felt for him shine in my eyes. I would speak the words, but first I was going to show him.
* * *
Ramon
My throat grew tight. The way she looked at me…I hoped it wasn’t just my own wishful thinking reflected back at me. I had been working all day on the words.
“Take off your shirt,” she ordered as I stood there just outside the pocket doors staring at her with the takeout sack in one hand and a bottle of sparkling cider in the other.
“Alright.” I got myself in gear, kicked off my flip flops, set down the sack and the bottle on the blanket. She crawled forward between the flickering candles on her hands and knees to retrieve them, and I almost asked her if I could go ahead and take off my shorts. Seeing her in that red bikini was making more than just my throat tight. To hell with dinner, I’d have her instead. She looked up at me through her lashes. I tore off my shirt and lunged for her. She scampered backward smiling. My heart flipped like a freakin’ schoolgirl. I hadn’t seen her smile like that all week. I caught her, pulled her to me, moved my hands from her upper arms to her curves, gliding them over her breasts, to her waist and down to her hips. There I rested them, my thumbs brushing back and forth over her soft, warm as the sun skin before I lowered my head and captured her smile with my mouth. She tasted fantastic the way she always did. My already hard cock leapt in anticipation. Placing her hands on my chest, she pushed me backward breaking the kiss.
“Food first.” She laughed. “Then dessert.”
“I told you what that bikini does to me. I’m practically dying over here.” I arched a brow and gave her a coaxing half smile. “Can’t I talk you into working up an appetite first?”
“You could. You could convince me to do just about anything, Ramon Martinez. I think you know very well the power you have over me.”
My grin widened. More like the power she had over me, but if that’s what she thought then I would go with it. I reached for her again, my hands gliding to the tempting strings at the center of her back. I pulled one loop loose. I heard her draw in a sharp breath that felt like she’d stroked my cock.
“Wait,” she said, holding the top I’d half unfastened to her breasts, in the same way she had when I’d sent her away at the OB Hotel all those years ago.
Not tonight. Not ever again, I hoped.
She licked her lips. I think she could tell a lot of what I was thinking from the hungry way I looked at her.
“Why wait?” I lowered my voice. “Let me undo that top string. I’ll reward you. I promise. I…”
“You mentioned something before.” She hit me with smoldering glance through her lashes. “You offered to let me watch you…masturbate.”
Holy fucking shit.
“Alright.” My throat already desert dry, the quench for my thirst sat right there as bold as brass asking me to jack off in front of her. “I’ll whip my cock out, if you’ll show me your tits.”
“You first,” she practically purred.
I changed my position, untied the strings of my board shorts and kicked them away, never taking my eyes off my inspiration. I took my rod in my hand, began to stroke it, then dipped my gaze from her pretty eyes to her tits. “Your turn.”
She scooted closer to me, her eyes on my cock. My body responded. My pulse thundered. My gaze heated. She reached behind her neck, pulled the top bow loose and crawled over to me, straddling my calves and resting her bikini clad bottom on them.
“I need to be close. I don’t want to miss anything,” she explained.
“I wouldn’t want you to, either. Touch yourself, baby. If I’m stroking, I want you to do the same.” I circled my thumb around my cock. She circled hers around her nipples. They pebbled beautifully, the rosy nipples hardening temptingly before my rapt attention.
“How wet are you?” I asked her as she wiggled on my legs.
“Soaked,” she said. “How about you? Are you as turned on as I am?”
“Baby, all you have to do is look at me to get me hard. But this.” I cupped my balls, lifting my chin, watching her cup her breasts and arch them into her own hands, “this is something I’ll never forget.”
“Me, neither,” she said breathily, brushing her thumbs back and forth over her nipples without me even asking.
“I’ll take this all the way to the end, mi cielo. Finish all by myself if it pleases you, but I’d much prefer to come inside you.”
She closed her eyes and nodded her head. I had her flipped on her back before she could reopen them. I tore the string on one side of her hips loose and then the other, completely unveiling her. I spread her thighs apart and brought my cock within an inch of where I wanted to be.
“Look at me. I want you to look at me while I make love to you. I want you to see the way I feel about you.”
She nodded and I slid inside her tight wet sheath. Her hips lifted to deepen the first stroke and the ones that followed. Her eyes remained fastened on mine until the very end when I emptied myself, all that I was and all that I would ever be, all that meant anything to me was when I was inside her.
“I love you,” she cried, coming apart with me. “I love you so much.”
Chapter Fifty-Six
Karen
“You’ve got to know I feel the same way,” Ramon implored, his eyes filled with the warmth I wanted to immerse myself in for a lifetime. I desperately wanted to believe him. To hold on to his words and never let go.
“Ramon, are you sure…” I trailed off hearing my phone. My mom’s ringtone. My heart started to race. After my dad’s last episode, I worried all the time how quickly things might change with him. “I have to answer that.” I gave Ramon a desperate glance. “Did you see where I left my phone when you came in?”
“Yeah.” He went to the kitchen, scooped it off one of the bar stools and handed it to me. I called her back, my hands trembling.
“Mom,” I said as soon as she picked up. “Is everything ok?”
“It is now. They
put the fire out before it did too much damage.” I swayed, and Ramon steadied me.
“Dad. Is he alright?”
“Yes, physically, but…I need your help.”
“I’m on my way. I’ll be there in five minutes.”
Ramon pressed a kiss to my cheek and snagged his keys from the counter, waving them at me to let me know he would drive. We both hastily got dressed and then hand on the small of my back, he led me to the car. He opened the door for me and closed it once I clicked my belt. He jogged to the driver’s side, hopped in, snapped his own belt, fired up the engine and backed out of the driveway.
“It’ll be ok,” he told me at the stop sign before we turned onto my street. I bobbed my head, hoping he was right. The fire trucks were still there when we arrived. I gasped as I surveyed the charred section of the house where the kitchen stood.
“Mom!” I called, slamming my door and running across the yard. She turned, and my dad turned with her. He gave me a blank look that stopped me in my tracks before shifting his attention back to the fireman.
“My daughter. Please, Sir. Did you get my daughter out?”
The fireman looked frustrated.
“You don’t have to explain again.” My mom touched the man’s arm. “Is there anything else you need from me?” she asked him. From the timbre of her voice I could tell she was near collapse. I got my feet moving again and took her hand, threading her fingers together with mine, offering my silent support. She gave me a tremulous smile. Ramon moved beside me, close should I need him. And I did because when I reached for my dad, he drew away from me.
“Dad, it’s me. Karen. I’m right here.”
He studied me for a long moment, but I could tell he still didn’t recognize me. “My Sunshine. She has pigtails,” my dad mumbled looking straight at me. Pain sliced through me.
“Don’t take it personally, sweetie. It’s the evening. He gets more confused at night.”
“Oh Mom.” My expression revealed my despair. “What happened?”
“He tried to cook. He left an empty pan on the burner. We’re lucky the damage wasn’t worse.”
“Mrs. Grayson.” Ramon cleared his throat. “You are welcome to come home with us.” My eyes shot to his. “My house is only a home because you’re in it, mi cielo.” He knew without me saying what my questioning glance had meant. He returned his attention to my mom, and my legs trembled, not from the trauma of the fire and my father’s condition, but from Ramon’s words and the fierce sincerity in his gaze.
“I appreciate the offer. The house is smoky, but it’s perfectly livable. The kitchen is ruined of course. We’ll have to get it renovated. But I’ll have some safeguards installed this time.”
“You don’t think a nursing home would be a better place for him?” I asked her.
“It will likely come to that point.” Sadness flashed in her gaze, but she blinked it away. “But for as long as I can, I’ll keep him at home.” She stressed those words, and a look of understanding passed between her and Ramon. “I think the familiar environment and routines are beneficial.”
“Are you sure, Mom?”
“I’m positive. He’ll be alright. We’ll both be alright.” She put her arm around my dad but glanced back at me. “It’s good to know you’re close. I’m so glad you’re back in OB. I love you, sweetie. Your dad does, too. Don’t ever doubt that.”
Ramon put his arm around my shoulder as I watched my mom usher my dad back into the house. The curious crowd had mostly drifted away by the time Ramon led me away from my house and escorted me to his SUV.
“Ramon,” I began after I took my seat, glancing over at him.
“We’ll talk at home. There’s a lot to say, and I want to say it where I can focus my full attention on you.”
I watched him intently as he circled to his side of the car. My eyes were always drawn to him. Hope brightened in them, even though night had fallen by the time he pulled the vehicle out of the drive.
* * *
Ramon
I turned her around to face me at the top of the stairs. My erratic pulse settled as soon as I touched her warm skin. The evening had gone from the heights of making love to her and hearing her speak the words I most wanted to hear to the depths of uncertainty since that phone call. I decided to address the thing that I thought put the most shadows in her eyes first. “Your dad loves you. He hasn’t forgotten you. He was looking for you, Karen. He was worried about you. I know that it’s upsetting that he didn’t recognize you as an adult.”
She nodded but dropped her chin. I lifted it and smoothed a lock that had escaped her braid. “Do you remember when you asked me about the past, when I told you that I would change the parts with us?”
“Yes. That’s not something easy to forget.”
“Well, I want to tell you what I meant. I hope I can explain things in a way that will help you believe me when I tell you that I feel the same way about you that you said you feel about me.”
“I don’t know how that can be, not when you’re still seeing other women.” She lifted her chin out of my reach.
“What are you talking about?” My gaze hardened. “There’s been no one else for me since you tumbled into my arms.”
“But Vanessa…”
“Vanessa St. Regis? The talent scout from Black Cat Records? Please.”
“She called the other day, and her texts…”
“Oh.” I raised a brow. “So you were jealous.” My lip curled. “You shouldn’t have been, mi cielo. She just wanted my music. She didn’t get it or me.”
She looked a little stunned. Inside, I was putting things together. I understood now why Karen had started to withdraw from me, from everything, even surfing after that phone call from Vanessa. Still, it stirred hope inside my chest that my affection, mine and mine alone, meant so much to her.
“Back to my explanation. As good as the things we shared over the years were, they weren’t enough. They weren’t even close to what I really wanted.” My expression softened. “When I was eighteen I met the prettiest girl. The best girl for me. But being young and dumb, I stepped aside to let my best friend have her. Stupidest thing I’ve ever done, and I’ve done a lot of stupid things. I should have fought for you right then. I wish I had, but I didn’t know all that much about love at the time. I had never had an example like you did with your parents. I only knew what it looked like when it didn’t work, like with my dad, and Gonzolo and his wife. But I know now what love is because of you. It burns bright inside of me when I’m with you, even brighter when you’re in my arms. I’ve felt the comfort of it in the darkest of places when I hit rock bottom, like in Malibu when you came to me. I see it in your pretty face, in your smile. I hear it in your laughter. I feel it in the way you respond to me, though those are only small parts. The bigger part is in your heart and your beautiful soul. That is the prize I’m after. Nothing less. I want you, all of you, for my own.” I raked back my hair, desperately wanting her to get what I was trying to say. “Denying what we share is like trying to escape a riptide by swimming straight to the shore. You only end up getting tired and swept further away from what you most desire.”
Her jaw dropped.
“I know you, Karen Grayson. I’ve always held the key to your heart. I’ve kept it safe. I can’t forget you, and I’ll never give you up. How could I when you are the missing part that makes me whole?”
She reached up to remove my hands. For a moment fear surfaced, thinking she planned to reject me, but I should have trusted her, knowing her the way I did. She brought one of my hands to her mouth, then the other one, pressing soft kisses into each palm and closing my fingers around them as if to keep those tokens of affection there. I gazed into her pretty eyes as she finished.
“It was never like this with Dominic. I was young and naive. I thought I wanted a man to treat me like a queen, like my father treats my mother. I thought the way things were between us back then was the way love should be. But after being with you, real
ly being with you, I know I was wrong. What I really needed was true understanding, like you’ve always shown me. Deep down soul level knowledge of one another. That’s the foundation my parents have. That’s love that will stand trials and the test of time. Dominic and I never had that. I’m not sure he ever really wanted it. I think he only wanted me to conform to his idea of who he thought I should be. I felt like he was always asking me to give up parts of myself in order to keep him. He never encouraged me to follow my own dreams the way you always have. He never found my true heart. I doubt he would have recognized it. When I propositioned you about making a baby, I thought what I needed most was a child, and I do want one. I do want a family someday. But what I want the most is someone who knows me, someone I can be myself with, someone who accepts me the way I am, someone whose love completes me. You are that to me. What I need most is you.”
Epilogue
Karen
“This is crazy.”
I laughed, and put my hand over my belly where our baby grew. “I am crazy. Don’t tell me you are just figuring that out!” He paddled closer and shook out his hair, making me close my eyes and squeal. “You’re an ass, Ramon Martinez.”
“Maybe, but I’m your ass, mi cielo.”
“You look beautiful, Sunshine.”
“Thanks, Daddy.”
“A wetsuit might end up being the new rage for California weddings.”
I smiled. Today was one of his good days. I was learning, for the most part, to enjoy them and not worry about tomorrow.
“You ok, Mom?”
“Yeah, it’s just been a long time since I’ve been on one of these things.” Straddling her board, she took my hand and squeezed it. “How’s the baby doing?”
He. She. Merman or mermaid, we didn’t want to know until the delivery.
“Kicked twice since we’ve been out here,” I informed her, and she beamed, so excited about being a grandma. Almost as excited as Ramon and I were to start our family.
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