We the Underpeople

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We the Underpeople Page 53

by Cordwainer Smith


  "C'mell? Can you wake her up so I can say goodbye after that thousand years?"

  The master of the underworld took Rod gently by the arm and walked him across the huge underground room, talking as they went. "Would you want to have another goodbye, after that thousand years she remembers with you, if you were she? Let her be. It is kinder this way. You are human. You can afford to be rich with kindness. It is one of the best traits which you human people have."

  Rod stopped. "Do you have a recorder of some kind, then? She welcomed me to Earth with a wonderful little song about 'high birds crying' and I want to leave one of our Norstrilian songs for her."

  "Sing anything," said the E'telekeli, "and the chorus of my attendants will remember it as long as they live. The others would appreciate it too."

  Rod looked around at the underpeople who had followed them. For a moment he was embarrassed at singing to all of them, but when he saw their warm, adoring smiles, he was at ease with them. "Remember this, then, and be sure to sing it to C'mell for me, when she awakens." He lifted his voice a little and sang.

  Run where the ram is dancing, prancing!

  Listen where the ewe is greeting, bleating.

  Rush where the lambs are running, funning.

  Watch where the stroon is growing, flowing.

  See how the men are reaping, heaping

  Wealth for their world!

  Look, where the hills are dipping, ripping.

  Sit where the air is drying, frying.

  Go where the clouds are pacing, racing.

  Stand where the wealth is gleaming, teeming.

  Shout to the top of the singing, ringing

  Norstrilian power and pride.

  The chorus sang it back at him with a wealth and richness which he had never heard in the little song before.

  "And now," said the E'telekeli, "the blessing of the First Forbidden One be upon you." The giant bowed a little and kissed Rod McBan on the forehead. Rod thought it strange and started to speak, but the eyes were upon him.

  Eyes—like twin fires.

  Fire—like friendship, like warmth, like a welcome and a farewell.

  Eyes—which became a single fire.

  He awakened only when he was in orbit around Old North Australia.

  The descent was easy. The ship had a viewer. The snake-pilot said very little. He put Rod down in the Station of Doom, a few hundred meters from his own door. He left two heavy packages. An Old North Australian patrol ship hovered overhead and the air hummed with danger while Norstrilian police floated to the ground and made sure that no one besides Rod McBan got off. The Earth ship whispered and was gone.

  "I'll give you a hand, Mister," said one of the police. He clutched Rod with one mechanical claw of his ornithopter, caught the two packages in the other, and flung his machine into the air with a single beat of the giant wings. They coasted into the yard, the wings tipped up, Rod and his packages were deposited deftly, and the machine flapped away in silence.

  There was nobody there. He knew that Aunt Doris would come soon. And Lavinia. Lavinia! Here, now, on this dear poor dry earth, he knew how much Lavinia suited him. Now he could spiek, he could hier!

  It was strange. Yesterday—or was it yesterday? (for it felt like yesterday)—he had felt very young indeed. And now, since his visit to the Catmaster, he felt somehow grown up, as if he had discovered all his personal ingrown problems and had left them behind on Old Earth. He seemed to know in his deepest mind that C'mell had never been more than nine-tenths his, and that the other tenth—the most valuable and beautiful and most secret tenth of her life—was forever given to some other man or underman whom he would never know. He felt that C'mell would never give her heart again. And yet he kept for her a special kind of tenderness, which would never recur. It was not marriage which they had had, but it was pure romance.

  But here, here waited home itself, and love.

  Lavinia was in it, dear Lavinia with her mad lost father and her kindness to a Rod who had not let much kindness into his life.

  Suddenly, the words of an old poem rose unbidden to his mind:

  Ever. Never. Forever.

  Three words. The lever

  Of life upon time.

  Never, forever, ever!

  He spieked. He spieked very loud, "Lavinia!"

  Beyond the hill the cry came back, right into his mind, "Rod, Rod! Oh, Rod! Rod?"

  "Yes," he spieked. "Don't run. I'm home."

  He felt her mind coming near, though she must have been beyond one of the nearby hills. When he touched minds with Lavinia, he knew that this was her ground, and his too. Not for them the wet wonders of Earth, the golden-haired beauties of C'mell and Earth people! He knew without doubt that Lavinia would love and recognize the new Rod as she had loved the old.

  He waited very quietly and then he laughed to himself under the grey nearby friendly sky of Norstrilia. He had momentarily had the childish impulse to rush across the hills and to kiss his own computer.

  He waited for Lavinia instead.

  Counsels, Councils, Consoles and Consuls

  Ten Years Later, Two Earthmen Talking

  "You don't believe all the malarkey, do you?"

  "What's 'malarkey'?"

  "Isn't that a beautiful word? It's ancient. A robot dug it up. It means rubbish, hooey, nonsense, gibberish, phlutt, idle talk or hallucinations—in other words, just what you've been saying."

  "You mean about a boy buying the planet Earth?"

  "Sure. He couldn't do it, not even with Norstrilian money. There are too many regulations. It was just an economic adjustment."

  "What's an 'economic adjustment'?"

  "That's another ancient word I found. It's almost as good as malarkey. It does have some meaning, though. It means that the masters rearrange things by changing the volume or the flow or the title to property. The Instrumentality wanted to shake down the Earth Government and get some more free credits to play around with, so between them they invented an imaginary character named Rod McBan. Then, they had him buy the Earth. Then he goes away. It doesn't make sense. No normal boy would have done that. They say he had one million women. What do you think a normal boy would do if somebody gave him one million women?"

  "You're not proving anything. Anyhow, I saw Rod McBan myself, two years ago."

  "That's the other one, not the one who is supposed to have bought Earth. That's just a rich immigrant who lives down near Meeya Meefla. I could tell you some things about him, too."

  "But why shouldn't somebody buy Earth if he corners the Norstrilian stroon market?"

  "Who ever cornered it in the first place? I tell you, Rod McBan is just an invention. Have you ever seen a picturebox of him?"

  "No."

  "Did you ever know anybody who met him?"

  "I heard that the Lord Jestocost was mixed up in it, and that expensive girlygirl What's-her-name—you know—the redhead—C'mell."

  "That's what you heard. Malarkey, pure genuine ancient malarkey. There was no such boy, ever. It's all propaganda."

  "You're always that way. Grumbling. Doubting. I'm glad I'm not you."

  "Pal, that's real, real reciprocal. 'Better dead than gullible,' that's my motto."

  On a Planoforming Ship, Outbound from Earth, Also Ten Years Later

  The Stop-Captain, talking to a passenger, female:

  "I'm glad to see, ma'am, that you didn't buy any of those Earth fashions. Back home, the air would take them off you in half a minute."

  "I'm old-fashioned," she smiled. Then a thought crossed her mind, and she added a question: "You're in the space business, Sir and Stop-Captain. Did you ever hear the story of Rod McBan? I think it's thrilling."

  "You mean, the boy who bought Earth?"

  "Yes," she gasped. "Is it true?"

  "Completely true," he said, "except for one little detail. This 'Rod McBan' wasn't named that at all. He wasn't a Norstrilian. He was a hominid from some other world, and he was buying the Earth with pirate money
. They wanted to get his credits away from him, but he may have been a Wet Stinker from Amazonas Triste or he may have been one of those little tiny men, about the size of a walnut, from the Solid Planet. That's why he bought Earth and left it so suddenly. You see, Ma'am and Dame, no Old North Australian ever thinks about anything except his money. They even have one of the ancient forms of government still left on that planet, and they would never let one of their own boys buy Earth. They'd all sit around and talk him into putting it in a savings account, instead. They're clannish people. That's why I don't think it was a Norstrilian at all."

  The woman's eyes widened. "You're spoiling a lovely story for me, Mister and Stop-Captain."

  "Don't call me 'Mister,' Ma'am. That's a Norstrilian title. I'm just plain 'Sir.'"

  They both stared at the little imaginary waterfall on the wall.

  Before the Stop-Captain went back to his work, he added, "For my money, it must have been one of those little tiny men from the Solid Planet. Only a fool like that would buy the dower rights to a million women. We're both grown up, Ma'am. I ask you, what would an itty-bitty man from the Solid Planet do with one Earth woman, let alone a million of them?"

  She giggled and blushed as the Stop-Captain stamped triumphantly away, having gotten in his last masculine word.

  E'lamelanie, Two Years After Rod's Departure from Earth

  "Father, give me hope."

  The E'telekeli was gentle. "I can give you almost anything from this world, but you are talking about the world of the sign of the Fish, which none of us controls. You had better go back into the everyday life of our cavern and not spend so much time on your devotional exercises, if they make you unhappy."

  She stared at him. "It's not that. It's not that at all. It's just that I know that the robot, the rat and the Copt all agreed that the Promised One would come here to Earth." A desperate note entered her voice. "Father, could it have been Rod McBan?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "Could he have been the Promised One, without my knowing it? Could he have come and gone just to test my faith?"

  The bird-giant rarely laughed; he had never laughed at his own daughter before. But this was too absurd: he laughed at her, but a wise part of his mind told him that the laughter, though cruel now, would be good for her later on.

  "Rod? A promised speaker of the truth? Oh, no. Ho—ho—ho. Rod McBan is one of the nicest human beings I ever met. A good young man, almost like a bird. But he's no messenger from eternity."

  The daughter bowed and turned away.

  She had already composed a tragedy about herself, the mistaken one, who had met "the prince of the word," whom the worlds awaited, and had failed to know him because her faith was too weak. The strain of waiting for something that might happen now or a million years from now was too much. It was easier to accept failure and self-reproach than to endure the timeless torment of undated hope.

  She had a little nook in the wall where she spent many of her waiting hours. She took out a little stringed instrument which her father had made for her. It emitted ancient, weeping sounds, and she sang her own little song to it, the song of E'lamelanie who was trying to give up waiting for Rod McBan.

  She looked out into the room.

  A little girl, wearing nothing but panties, stared at her with fixed eyes. E'lamelanie looked back at the child. It had no expression; it just stared at her. She wondered if it might be one of the turtle-children whom her father had rescued several years earlier.

  She looked away from the child and sang her song anyhow:

  Once again, across the years,

  I wept for you.

  I could not stop the bitter tears

  I kept for you.

  The hearthstone of my early life

  was swept for you.

  A different, modulated time

  awaits me now.

  Yet there are moments when the past

  asks why and how.

  The future marches much too fast.

  Allow, allow—

  But no. That's all. Across the years

  I wept for you

  When she finished, the turtle-child was still watching. Almost angrily, E'lamelanie put away her little violin.

  What the Turtle-Child Thought, At the Same Moment

  I know a lot even if I don't feel like talking about it and I know that the most wonderful real man in all the planets came right down here into this big room and talked to these people because he is the man that the long silly girl is singing about because she does not have him but why should she anyhow and I am really the one who is going to get him because I am a turtle-child and I will be right here waiting when all these people are dead and pushed down into the dissolution vats and someday he will come back to Earth and I will be all grown up and I will be a turtle-woman, more beautiful than any human woman ever was, and he is going to marry me and take me off to his planet and I will always be happy with him because I will not argue all the time, the way that bird-people and cat-people and dog-people do, so that when Rod McBan is my husband and I rush dinner out of the wall for him, if he tries to argue with me I will just be shy and sweet and I won't say anything, nothing at all, to him for one hundred years and for two hundred years, and nobody could get mad at a beautiful turtle-woman who never talked back . . .

  The Council of the Guild of Thieves, Under Viola Siderea

  The herald called,

  "His audacity, the Chief of Thieves, is pleased to report to the Council of Thieves!"

  An old man stood, very ceremoniously. "You bring us wealth, Sir and Chief, we trust—from the gullible—from the weak—from the heartless among mankind?"

  The Chief of Thieves proclaimed,

  "It is the matter of Rod McBan."

  A visible stir went through the Council.

  The Chief of Thieves went on, with equal formality: "We never did intercept him in space, though we monitored every vehicle which came out of the sticky, sparky space around Norstrilia. Naturally, we did not send anyone down to meet Mother Hitton's Littul Kittons, may the mildew-men find them! whatever those 'kittens' may be. There was a coffin with a woman in it and a small box with a head. Never mind. He got past us. But when he got to Earth, we caught four of him."

  "Four?" gasped one old Councilor.

  "Yes," said the Chief of Thieves. "Four Rod McBans. There was a human one too, but we could tell that one was a decoy. It had originally been a woman and was enjoying itself hugely after having been transformed into a young man. So we got four Rod McBans. All four of them were Earth-robots, very well made."

  "You stole them?" said a Councilor.

  "Of course," said the Chief of Thieves, grinning like a human wolf. "And the Earth Government made no objection at all. The Earth Government simply sent us a bill for them when we tried to leave—something like one-fourth megacredit 'for the use of custom-designed robots.'"

  "That's a low honest trick!" cried the Chairman of the Guild of Thieves. "What did you do?" His eyes stared wide open and his voice dropped. "You didn't turn honest and charge the bill to us, did you? We're already in debt to those honest rogues!"

  The Chief of Thieves squirmed a little. "Not quite that bad, your tricky highnesses! I cheated the Earth some, though I fear it may have bordered on honesty, the way I did it."

  "What did you do? Tell us quick, man!"

  "Since I did not get the real Rod McBan, I took the robots apart and taught them how to be thieves. They stole enough money to pay all the penalties and recoup the expense of the voyage."

  "You show a profit?" cried a Councilor.

  "Forty minicredits," said the Chief of Thieves. "But the worst is yet to come. You know what Earth does to real thieves."

  A shudder went through the room. They all knew about Earth reconditioners which had changed bold thieves into dull honest rogues.

  "But, you see, Sirs and Honored Ones," the Chief of Thieves went on, apologetically, "the Earth authorities caught us at that, too. They liked the thie
f-robots. They made wonderful pickpockets and they kept the people stirred up. The robots also gave everything back. So," said the Chief of Thieves, blushing, "we have a contract to turn two thousand humanoid robots into pickpockets and sneak-thieves. Just to make life on Earth more fun. The robots are out in orbit, right now."

  "You mean," shrilled the chairman, "you signed an honest contract? You, the Chief of Thieves!"

 

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