Were they... exasperated? But why?
“Um... Is something the matter?”
“Myusel,” Elvia-san started. “You’ve talked about nothin’ but Shinichi-sama this entire time.”
“Wha...?”
It took me a second to process what she meant. I had just been explaining the jobs I did in this mansion.
I paused, reviewing in my mind what I had talked about. Shinichi-sama’s food. Shinichi-sama’s clothes. Shinichi-sama’s room. Shinichi-sama’s—
“O-Oh... W-Well, I...” I felt my cheeks growing hot. “I didn’t mean to...”
But Shinichi-sama was the master of this house, so why wouldn’t I have a great deal to say about him? It was crucial to know how to make one’s master happiest...
The words started to run together in my head. The more I thought about them, the more they felt like an excuse. I found myself unable to speak. I looked down at where my hands rested on my knees, wishing that no one could see me looking like this.
For a while, nobody spoke, an unnatural silence settling over the kitchen.
Finally, Minori-sama broke the quiet. “Anyway, I’ll handle the food. I’m probably the one with the best chance of making something Shinichi-kun will like. I’m not exactly a great cook, but I can manage the basics.”
She sounded cheerful—maybe it was just a nasty suspicion in me that made it sound forced.
I looked up to see Cerise-san nodding. “Let Brooke and me do the cleaning.” She looked at her husband, who looked back and nodded.
Lizardman faces are different in shape and even texture from our own, sometimes rendering them almost impossible to understand, but there was also a small number of gestures that were perfectly comprehensible. The fact that Brooke-san and Cerise-san worked well together was evident from how few words they had to speak.
To me, at that moment, the two of them looked like impossibly bright lights...
“And I’ve got th’ laundry!” Elvia-san declared, raising her right hand enthusiastically. She rose halfway out of her seat, her tail wagging happily. “I’ll do Shinichi-sama’s green stuff first, just like you said! I get to sniff the clothes while I’m doing the wash, right?”
“There’s all kinds of things wrong with that,” Minori-sama said with a bit of a frown.
“Er, I—I was just jokin’!” Elvia-san insisted, but I found I couldn’t laugh.
“It sure didn’t sound like a joke the way you said it.”
“What? Minori-sama, you’re the worst!” Elvia-san put up her hands defensively.
They all seemed to be having such a nice time together. It looked like fun. If nothing else, it seemed like none of them felt they would be missing anything when I left the mansion.
And that, too, made me terribly sad.
Nobody said “Don’t go.”
Of course, I was painfully aware that they were all pleased that I would finally be able to live with my mother, whom I hadn’t seen in so long. And I was happy that Falmelle-san had been thoughtful enough to come get me.
But... even so... couldn’t one of them have at least tried to stop me? Maybe in some corner of my heart, I had been hoping they would.
My vision got a little blurry. No, don’t cry. I knew I shouldn’t, couldn’t, but it was out of my control.
“Myusel? What’s wrong?” Minori-sama asked in surprise. Maybe she had noticed.
“Nothing...” I said, quickly using my sleeve to wipe away the tears that threatened to spill over. Somehow I managed to force a smile onto my face. It was a near thing, but it seemed to work.
“Don’t worry so much, Myusel, it’s gonna be fine!” Elvia-san said, leaning across the table. “Even I can handle some laundry! I’m tellin’ you, it’ll be okay!”
“Yes,” I said, still smiling that empty smile. “I’m sure it will.” All I could do was nod along.
I still had hardly slept by the time the day came for me to leave the house.
The new maid, I was told, would be coming the next day, a sort of changing of the guard.
I never had much in the way of personal belongings, so all my luggage, including my changes of clothing, fit in a somewhat large bag. The battle dress I had received from Her Majesty when I went to Bahairam I had decided to launder and respectfully return. I had needed it because I was serving at Shinichi-sama’s side, to protect him. Now that I was leaving him, I wouldn’t need it anymore.
The last thing I packed into my bag was the scrap on which Shinichi-sama had written the “fifty sounds” for me. Once I had packed it away, I let out a breath. I had changed into a one-piece dress for traveling; my maid uniform was folded neatly on the bed.
The maid uniform I had been given when I first arrived at this house. I would never wear it again.
I stood and stared at the outfit I had become so accustomed to wearing...
“Myusel, aren’t you ready yet?” Falmelle-san called from the hallway.
I shuddered. Falmelle-san, who of course couldn’t see me, continued to exhort me to hurry up.
“We’re going, come on.”
“Y-Yes, ma’am,” I answered to buy myself some time. I could hear how weak and thin my voice sounded.
I stood a moment longer in silence, but just standing there wouldn’t change anything.
I shifted, just about to leave... But then I took one last look.
Knowing this would be the last time, I reached out, touched the uniform lying on the bed.
I had almost forgotten how impossibly happy Shinichi-sama had been the first time he saw me wearing this...
I couldn’t take my hand away. The thought froze my fingers to the uniform with an immense longing, and I couldn’t let go.
“Myusel!”
Falmelle-san’s voice came again from outside.
The bird-drawn carriage was already waiting for us. It wasn’t the kind we normally used to get to school or the castle. The carriage itself was larger, so riders could be comfortable over journeys of several days, and the wheels were bigger too, since we would be traveling over rougher ground.
And there was Falmelle-san, standing beside the carriage.
Shinichi-sama, Minori-sama, Elvia-san, Brooke-san, and Cerise-san were all there too, almost surrounding her. They had all come to see me and my mother off.
Silently, I came through the front door and headed over to them.
“Oh, Myu...sel?”
Shinichi-sama was the first one to notice me, but as he turned, his eyes widened with surprise. One by one, the others turned, too. Each of them looked startled.
“Myusel.” This time it was Falmelle-san’s turn to speak, her voice laced with annoyance. “Are you still wearing that?”
I stood in front of the house, in front of them all—not in my dress, but in my maid uniform, the one I wore for working in this house. It felt far more familiar and comfortable on me than the dress.
“Hurry up and change,” my mother said. “Everyone’s waiting here for you, you can’t—”
“Falmelle-san,” I said.
Briefly, I looked down at the ground. I licked lips that had gone dry with nervousness. I took a deep breath, trying desperately to calm a heart pounding so loud I could hear it. And then I clenched my fists, scolding myself for being too timid, and looked up.
“I...”
I looked straight at Falmelle-san—at my mother. To my surprise, her expression was reserved and quiet. She didn’t look shocked, or angry. If anything, it was an expression of calm resignation.
“I... don’t want to go...!” My voice shook as I squeezed the words out. The words I had been unable to speak until this very moment.
The instant I said them, the tears poured forth, like a dam had broken. I couldn’t stop the sobs from grabbing my throat. I didn’t want to cry, but I couldn’t stop the gasping and weeping.
“Myusel...” I could see Shinichi-sama and the others, all looking troubled by this sudden spate of tears.
There’s no doubt I was ups
etting things by saying this so suddenly. They had already settled on a new maid, after all, and we had even told Her Majesty that I was leaving.
But I couldn’t hide it any longer, from them or from myself. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay with them... With Shinichi-sama.
And so...
“I...”
I opened my mouth almost involuntarily, not sure myself what I wanted to say. Somehow, though, I was desperate to communicate to them how much I wanted to stay.
My emotions got the better of me, and I could hardly form words. I just stood there with my mouth working open and shut, groaning.
It was at that moment that my vision... tilted.
How strange. The world wasn’t normally so sideways.
No... It wasn’t the world that had moved.
“Oh.........”
I found my sight going dark.
I heard Shinichi-sama shout, “Myusel!”
It was the last thing that reached my ears before I lost consciousness.
The first thing I saw when I came to was a white ceiling. It was the familiar ceiling of my own room.
I was in my own bed—a fact it took me a few minutes to assimilate. I was light-headed and my eyelids felt heavy. Just keeping my eyes open was a struggle; they kept trying to drift shut again.
What had happened to me? I couldn’t quite think straight; it felt like my brain was numb. My body was heavy, like it was trapped in mud. I could hardly move a single finger.
Maybe it was because I hadn’t slept for so long.
I fought to sit up, but I felt vague and diffident, as if I were floating in water—as if my heart might melt and flow away despite my attempts to hold onto it.
As I wrestled with these sensations, I heard a familiar voice. Shinichi-sama’s voice.
“Um... Are you sure she can’t stay here?”
“Why would she?” The reply came from Falmelle-san.
Both of them sounded quite close, probably in the same room with me. And yet with my benumbed senses, the conversation itself seemed distant, unreal. I was just listening passively.
“Well...”
“I’m her mother, and I’ve decided to take her home. What are you saying, that you won’t let me?”
“No, ma’am... It’s just, Myusel said she didn’t want to go...”
“A child’s logic.” Falmelle-san gave a bit of a sigh. “But it has nothing to do with you anyway. Am I wrong?”
“Nothing to do with me—?”
“Or do you also suppose it would be best for Myusel not to go with me? Do you suggest that a parent who has once given up her child has no right to reclaim her?”
“No—”
“Then what is your reason for telling me not to take my daughter home?”
Shinichi-sama didn’t answer. I could all but feel him flinching under Falmelle-san’s withering tone.
“Or,” said my mother, “do you speak without any reason at all?”
“No, I don’t,” Shinichi-sama said. “I mean, I agree that being with your mother is better for sure... But...”
He stopped talking. Silence pervaded the room. Falmelle-san didn’t try to rush an answer from him, but waited without a word.
Finally, Shinichi-sama concluded, “I’m... the same.”
“The same?”
“I don’t want Myusel to go, either. I want her to be here.”
Ahh!
Of course, it would be Shinichi-sama who was kind enough to speak those words. If I hadn’t been feeling so groggy, I would have burst into tears again right then and there.
Falmelle-san, however, heaved a sigh. “Oh, for...”
Her sigh, though, wasn’t one of annoyance or even surrender. Was it just my imagination, or did she sound secretly pleased?
“I guess that girl is my daughter,” Falmelle-san murmured. From her voice, I guessed—just guessed—that there was a small smile on her face.
“What do you mean?” Shinichi-sama asked.
“Hmm? What indeed?” Falmelle-san replied, dodging the question.
I think their conversation continued after that, but my mind had finally grown too clouded to continue picking out individual words.
Shinichi-sama...
I slipped back into the depths of sleep.
When at last I opened my sleep-deprived eyes once more, it was all over. Shinichi-sama, I gathered, had reported to Her Majesty that I was to stay at the mansion. Even Minori-sama, who was normally silent during royal audiences, had told Her Majesty on behalf of everyone in the household that it would be better if I stayed.
Finally, there was the matter of Falmelle-san.
“If you hate me enough to burst into tears about it, I guess I really have no choice but to leave you be.” She shrugged.
“It’s... It’s not that I hate you...”
I really didn’t hate Falmelle-san. I just—
“Thank you for your hospitality.” To the bitter end, Falmelle-san didn’t really listen to me—she bowed to Shinichi-sama and the others instead. “Please look after Myusel for me.”
She said she had to be getting back to oversee the Faugron business. Apparently, it had been all she could do to find ten consecutive days to spend in the capital. And with that, we found ourselves standing outside the house, seeing her off.
“Hardly,” Shinichi-sama said. “She’s the one who takes care of us...”
“Oh, that’s just her job,” Falmelle-san said pointedly. For someone who believed her daughter hated her, she looked awfully cheerful. Then she turned to me. “Myusel.”
“Oh... Um...” I took a step forward. “I’m sorry...”
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go home with her, or that I didn’t want to be with her. I understood how awful I must look, chasing out my own mother when she had come specifically to get me. I knew a few words of apology wouldn’t be enough. But still...
“I have to admit,” Falmelle-san said easily, “I thought you might say you wanted to stay here.”
“Wha...?”
Then she leaned in and whispered, “It’s rough. You’d better brace yourself.”
“Huh? Wha?”
“Consider it a word of warning—not from your mother, but from someone who’s been there.” She sounded almost... mischievous. “There was a time when I believed that if I could just be with the person I loved, just be by his side, I didn’t need anything else. That as long as I had those feelings, I could do anything. There was a time.”
And then she drew back again.
“Um... Oh...”
“Well, I’ll be seeing you, Myusel. If I can find some free time, I’ll come back for a visit. Until then, take care.” She smiled brightly.
And as for me...
“Okay. I’ll be waiting.” I was finally able to say it with earnestness and conviction: “Mother.”
Falmelle-san—no, my mother—blinked in surprise for a moment. But then the happy smile came back over her face. She turned and climbed into the carriage.
We were in the dining area, like always. In the same seats as always.
Shinichi-sama was eating breakfast. A single bentou box sat on the table.
There was no school today. We would be eating at home, so a packed lunch really wasn’t called for, but Shinichi-sama had specially asked me to prepare this for him.
“.........Mm.”
Shinichi-sama used his Ja-panese eating utensils, called chop-sticks, to grab one of the side dishes. I stood beside him, watching.
The lunch was, again, a kyara-ben. Compared to something Elvia-san might make, the artistic quality undoubtedly left something to be desired. But Shinichi-sama gamely worked his way through the lunch, using his chop-sticks to take it apart one mouthful at a time.
He would chew slowly, then take a drink.
Finally he turned back to me and said, “Yeah, this is delicious.”
His warm smile filled me with a happiness that gradually spread to my entire body. “Thank you very much.”<
br />
My kyara-ben were hardly beautiful enough to warrant compliments at this stage, but someday I would catch up to Elvia-san. I wouldn’t rush. But I wouldn’t dawdle. If I worked at it, I was sure I could get there.
I had the time.
“Yeah. It’s really, really good.”
I looked at him, watched the smile on his face.
“There was a time when I believed that if I could just be with the person I loved, just be by his side, I didn’t need anything else. That as long as I had those feelings, I could do anything. There was a time.”
In a corner of my mind, I could still hear my mother’s words.
It was almost like watching a dance.
It was straightforward, unadorned. But somehow beautiful.
You could argue about whether it was closer to dancing or fighting. There was no question that, insofar as they were about executing every movement with the maximum efficiency, kata had a lot in common with dancing. If you wanted to maximize your power, you couldn’t ignore your breathing and even pulse; you had to establish a rhythm.
It was almost like a physical exercise regimen, performed repeatedly following specific steps. A hand moved gently through the air—then a leg lashed out, suddenly, like a flash of light. Although it might look surprising to an observer, I suspected the movement had a logic all its own.
That fact made everything flow together seamlessly. It made it look natural, and strong, and above all, beautiful.
I was in the mansion’s backyard. Unlike out front of the house, the ground here was pretty level—it was almost idyllic.
The person I’d been looking for was standing right in the middle of it, silently moving her body.
At first glance, she didn’t seem very muscular. Her long hair was tied up in a bun, and she wore glasses; it made her look kind of like a librarian, although she also had a restrained beauty. When I saw her practicing her martial arts, though, it reminded me that she was one of those modern-day samurai who protected Japan—the soldiers of the Japan Self-Defense Force.
Koganuma Minori, Private First Class in the Ground Self-Defense Force.
Outbreak Company: Volume 7 Page 10