by Oliver, Nick
I nodded, and finished my water, “I had the same conversation with Dad before I left.”
Roxie’s lip quivered a bit and she squeezed her eyes shut. I could tell she was about to cry so I stood up and wrapped my arms around her. She wrapped hers around me and sobbed for a minute, then pulled away, “We have to leave, I don’t want to die in this house.”
“Nick isn’t going to go quietly.” I sighed, sitting back down now that Roxie was done crying, at least for now, “I don’t know why he’s so hell bent on staying here.”
“It’s the last thing he has from his family,” she reminded me. “His parents moved away four years ago, then he moved in with us, then we moved out. The only one he had left that lived close was his uncle, and he was visiting Nick’s parents when this all happened. He’s heard even less then we have.”
I guess it made sense. Nick had a hard exterior, he’d never admit to weakness like being nostalgic, but I’d known him since we were kids, he’d confided in me about those things a few times, mostly after a few drinks.
“Well maybe this funeral will help him to move on,” I stood up to go wake up Nick and Sarah. “Hopefully it will help us all too.”
Nick was still sprawled on the floor, so I kicked his foot. “Wake up princess we got work to do today.” He jerked, but didn’t get up, so I kicked him again with the same result. “I’ll be back in five minutes with a bucket of water.”
He must have been awake enough to hear me because he jumped up, looked around like he was lost, “I’m up. I’m up.”
I didn’t stay long enough to see if he was actually getting up or just going back to sleep. I noticed Sarah was still asleep as I walked down the stairs, so I went over to the pullout couch. I leaned in and whispered to her, “Sarah, It’s time to…” before I could finish my sentence she swung her arm up in a reflex motion smacking me in the nose, “Ow!”
She had a look of fear for a moment, and then snapped out of it when she saw my face, and even chuckled for a second, “Calm down you baby, I didn’t hit you that hard.”
I rubbed my nose while she stretched and got out of bed, “It’s not polite to hit people you know.”
“You know it’s not polite to wake people up when they are sleeping either,” she rolled her eyes. “Besides I like hitting you too much,” she ended with a smile and leaned up to kiss me.
I leaned down to close the distance, she tasted like morning breath, but I didn’t mind. “Get up lazy, we got stuff to do today.”
“Ugh, fine, I’ll get up.” She sat up and stretched. “When are we leaving?”
“As soon as we’re all ready.” I walked over to my backpack and started digging through the pockets until I found the sidearm, then walked back over to Sarah who was pulling her pants up. “Here.”
She looked at it for a second, then looked back up to me, “Is that the one I used before?”
I nodded, holding it out for her to grab. She seemed a bit hesitant at first, but took it. “I want you to keep this with you whenever you’re outside, no matter what.”
She stared at it in her hands for a few more seconds, then set it down on the bed and hugged me, “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”
“Relax Sarah, it’s not exactly a wedding ring or anything.” I joked to try to make light of the moment.
She rolled her eyes, “That’s not what I mean.” She picked up the gun and tucked it in to the waistline of her jeans, “I mean going home, I don’t think I’m ready to go back.”
I placed my hands on her shoulders, and looked her in the eyes, “Sarah, your dad deserves this and so do you. If you don’t do this now you’ll regret it.”
She preemptively wiped a tear as it was about to roll down her cheek, then nodded. “Okay.”
10:00 AM, July 7
It took longer than expected to get ready to leave. We decided to take four wheelers, since my truck was already packed with supplies.
Roxie had my .22 rifle, Nick had his handgun, Sarah had my handgun, and I had my shotgun. We also each had large empty backpacks ready to be filled with any supplies we came across.
I checked the fuel level in the four-wheeler Sarah and I would be riding. It was just about full, when I realized we should probably bring some empty gas containers with us and siphon some out of some cars or something.
Nick was in the shed looking for a set of bolt cutters to help us break any locks, so I walked over to see if there were any gas containers lying around. When I got there he was digging through a cabinet filled with tools.
“Any luck yet?” I asked him, knowing the answer already.
He bumped his head on a shelf inside the cabinet, “Son of a bitch,” he turned around surprised. “Please don’t scare me like that again.”
“The undead don’t have a habit of talking before they sneak up on you,” I reminded him. “Anyways, do we have any gas cans in here? I think we should gather gas while we’re out.”
Nick rolled his eyes then nodded then gestured to my right, “There are a few stacked up by the door there.”
I looked to my right and saw four three gallon containers stacked up next to the door. “Thanks, I’m gonna bungee these to the four-wheelers. Let me know if you can’t find those bolt cutters.”
He waved his hand in acknowledgement as he stuck his head back into the cabinet to look for the bolt cutters. I grabbed the containers and carried them over to the four-wheelers.
Roxie was standing at the end of the driveway with her arms crossed, looking toward the highway. I set the containers down next to the four-wheelers and walked over to her. She probably noticed I was walking up, but she didn’t move her head at all before she asked me, and I couldn’t see her eyes behind her thick black sunglasses. “Everything packed up?”
“Not quite,” I answered, but walked past her onto the road. I glanced in the opposite direction she was looking, just in case, but didn’t see anything, then stood next to her. “Nick is still looking for the bolt cutters.”
“Did you already pack something to use instead?” she asked. I smirked a bit, but she didn’t notice, her gaze was fixated straight ahead on the road.
“Of course, but his uncle has to own some bolt cutters. He’s got every other tool known to man in that shed.” I glanced over to Roxie, and stared at her for a second, “Everything is going to be fine,” I reassured her.
She turned her head to meet my gaze, “Can you honestly tell me that, after what you told me this morning?”
I didn’t look away, I just stared. “No,” I admitted. “I honestly can’t, but we have to do this, we can’t stay cooped up forever. We were going to have to move on eventually. You said it yourself, you can’t stay in this house forever.” I broke our gaze, and looked down the road again, “This is the first step in getting out of here.”
“Okay then.” She pulled her hair up and tied it into a pony tail. “Let’s get going.”
She looked back at the road, and then walked over to the shed where Nick was. I went back toward the house to find Sarah, she hadn’t come outside yet.
“Sarah?” I called out as soon as I walked through the door. I didn’t hear an answer, and didn’t see her in the living room or the kitchen, but I had a good idea of where she was.
The door to the garage was open. I saw her sitting in the passenger seat of my truck. She always did like that truck. She was half the reason I hadn’t scrapped it yet, as many problems as I’d had with it. I walked around to the driver’s side and got in.
I didn’t say anything at first, just sat there. She looked over at me, tried to smile, but she was too upset to hold it. I smiled to reassure her, “Still worried?”
“Yeah,” she sighed, “Being in here always helped to cheer me up a bit. I figured maybe if I waited in here until we left it might, I don’t know.”
“Help calm you down.” I helped her finish her thought, and then put my arm around her shoulders.
She smirked a bit, “Yeah. Are we ready to go yet?”
I nodded, “Nick is still looking for bolt cutters but it’s getting too late, we’re leaving in five minutes, whether he’s found them or not.”
She took a deep breath, “I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” She shrugged, and then made an attempt at a smile, but I could tell it was a fake smile. She wasn’t ready, but she would be by the time we got to her house.
We got out of my truck then made our way outside. Nick had a defeated look on his face. He didn’t have any bolt cutters in his hands. I shook my head rather annoyingly. We should have left earlier, and it was past eleven o’clock now. It felt like Nick was just trying to stall for time looking for them, but I wasn’t sure why. He didn’t want to get stuck out there in the dark any more then I did.
I walked up to Nick as he was checking the gas level of his four-wheeler. “Did Roxie talk to you about going to Sarah’s house?”
He nodded, “I think it would have been better if you had talked to me about it, instead of leading me on about a supply run, but yeah, she told me about it.”
I did feel bad for a moment, “Sorry bro, I didn’t know if you’d be up to doing this, I figured it would be better coming from Roxie then me, besides we’re still going to gather supplies from her house.”
He gave me a look of disappointment, “I think we’ve been friends long enough for you to come to me about stuff like this.”
He was right, I made an unfair assumption. I couldn’t do anything but shrug. I already said I was sorry, so I walked back over to the four-wheeler Sarah was standing next to.
12:00 PM, July 7
We parked our four-wheelers in the driveway of Sarah’s house. I wished I had cleaned it up before I brought Sarah here. I could feel her heart rate go up as we pulled in, even over the rumbling of the four-wheeler engine.
Sarah hopped off as soon as we stopped, but I put my hand on her shoulder in hopes of stopping her. She shrugged my hand off and kept walking, regardless. I hopped off and sprinted after her, grabbing her before she set foot on the porch.
She tried to struggle out of my grip, but I didn’t let go. “Sarah, no, you don’t want to go in there,” I tried to warn her, “Trust me, you don’t want to see the inside.”
She didn’t say anything, she just started crying. She could see the dried blood on the porch, and knew the inside was probably the same.
I looked back at Roxie, and motioned her over with my eyes, she understood right away and came over. I let Sarah go once Roxie got there. She would be able to keep her calm. I needed Nick to help me carry Jerry’s body anyway.
I motioned to Nick and he followed me to the garage. We stared at the tarp covered body for a few minutes silently. Nick looked up at me before I looked up, “Where do we dig the hole?”
I already knew where. Sarah’s Mom was buried under a tree in the backyard. It was only fitting that we bury him next to her, the only issue was the tree was about a hundred yards from the garage.
“Next to her Mom’s grave,” I told him. He had never been here before, and was probably cursing me in his head the whole way to the burial sight, though he never said anything to me I could see it in his face.
Nick went back to the garage for shovels while I stared at Sarah’s Mom’s headstone. I’d been here before, but never without Sarah. I looked around to make sure nobody was there, and then said, “Hi, Mrs. W. This is Sam. It’s been a long time.” I felt like a fool, and looked around again to make sure Roxie, Sarah and Nick were still up by the house.
“I don’t know if you knew how much I loved your daughter while you were alive, or if you figured it out afterward.” I shook my head, I barely believed in an afterlife before the dead began to rise, but this felt right, “I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe, and happy. And if you can tell Jerry I’m sorry it took me so long to get here that would be great.”
I shook my head, I was apologizing to a tombstone. For half a second I felt like an idiot, but it felt good to say out loud what I felt. I glanced back at the house and saw Nick coming back with shovels. I knelt down and placed my hand on the headstone, “I promise.”
I didn’t realize how long I knelt next to the grave until Nick cleared his throat behind me. I stood up and grabbed one of the shovels from him.
We started digging the grave, it was tedious, the ground was mostly sand, so the hole kept trying to fill itself in. We didn’t talk for a while, but I had to break the silence. I stopped digging, took my hat off and wiped the sweat off my forehead and then looked at him, “Why won’t you leave your Uncle’s house?” I asked him. He didn’t stop digging, he just kept shoveling the dirt out of the hole, and then he started talking.
“They didn’t screen the people they let into the school, they let dozens of people in that were infected.” He let out a sigh, then set the shovel down, and looked at me with empty eyes. “You saw the bodies outside, that wasn’t even a quarter of the people inside. Shit, that couldn’t have been a quarter the number of zombies inside the school. You weren’t there, it was a goddamned nightmare.”
I may have seen some shit on the road, but I wasn’t going to dismiss what they went through. I wasn’t outside in the opening days of the outbreak. I didn’t say anything, I just listened.
Nick didn’t say anything for a bit, he just stood there and looked at the grave, “They let people in that had bites,” he said, “The police let anyone in, but once the army got there, they tried to filter people in who were clean, but it was too late. We were in one of the science classrooms when people started dying. Doctors argued with the army officers, saying they had to burn the bodies, but the Army officers said they were told to just bag and tag the bodies.” He paused, I didn’t say anything, and I knew he just needed a minute to figure out how to describe what happened.
“A few hours later they started waking up,” he started up again. “At first, people tried to tie them up, but we knew they had to be put down. Some of the military guys knew it too, but before long people who didn’t admit to bites started coming back in other parts of the school and biting others. It didn’t take long for gunshots to be going off from all over the school. That’s when people just started running for the exits.”
He pulled his pistol out of its holster and held it up. “People pulled these out and started firing in all directions, shooting people who weren’t even bitten. I don’t know how we got out of there without getting shot, let alone bitten. We fought our way through the flow of people, and just barely made it to the parking lot when Sarah lost her grip on Roxie’s hand.”
I opened my mouth to say it wasn’t his fault, but he continued without letting me get a word out. “Outside wasn’t any better, by then there were more infected people then not. The military didn’t know what to do either, some of them tried to help people out of the carnage, some bailed, and some just started firing into the crowd. We ran into the woods, a lot of people did. The injured ones didn’t get far, after a while it was only us and two other people, but they went another way once we finally hit a road.”
He started digging again. I could see the tears rolling down his face. I grabbed his shovel, “It’s not your fault.”
He looked at me with hurt eyes and said with a hostile voice, “What do you mean it’s not my fault?”
I was speechless for a few seconds. “You did what you could,” I reassured him. “I don’t blame you for losing Sarah.”
He looked like he was going to hit me, but he glanced over to the house. I don’t know if seeing Roxie or Sarah shifted his mood, but he calmed down almost instantly. He just looked at the grave and said rather cryptically, “Yeah, you do.”
Before I could say anything Roxie and Sarah arrived at the gravesite. Nick and I climbed out of the hole that had to be at least four or five feet deep. Sarah saw the tarp wrapped around her father’s body and started crying again.
I walked over and grabbed her in a hug. She kept saying the same thing muffled against my chest, “I’m not ready.”
> I pulled her hair away from her eyes and behind her ear. She looked up at me, that moment in my mind lasted forever, though it couldn’t have lasted more then a few seconds. “Yes, you are,” was all I said.
I’d been to plenty of funerals in my life, mostly for great uncles, friend’s grandparents, even a classmate who was in a car accident, but this was by far the most emotional. Nick and I lifted Jerry’s tarp wrapped body and placed it into the grave we dug as gently as we could.
Nick and I started filling in the grave with dirt. Sarah and Roxie just stood there silently, watching. They both had tears flowing as we piled on the last bit of earth onto the grave.
We all stood there for what felt like forever. I took my hat off in respect and then broke the silence, “I loved Jerry.” My words seemed to startle everyone else, but I didn’t care, the silence was killing me. “He was like a second Father to me. I will always cherish the advice he gave me, and I hope I will live up to the expectations he had of me.”
I looked over to Sarah, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the photo Jerry had in his hands when he died. I held it out in front of her. She stared at it for a few moments, and then took it from my hand.
She looked back up from the photo, and her eyes were still bloodshot from crying, but she was finally ready. “My Dad didn’t deserve to go like this,” she wiped the tears from her eyes, “But he did everything he could to survive.” She looked at me for a moment, then to Roxie and Nick. “He didn’t give up, he fought to the last breath, hoping, knowing I would survive this, we should honor that, as long as we can.”
She started choking up, and looked to me again, then down to the freshly packed grave, “I love you Daddy,”
We all had tears in our eyes. It wasn’t just a funeral for Sarah’s Dad, this was a funeral for all of our parents. Sarah wasn’t just burying her Dad, Roxie and I were burying our parents and Nick was burying his. The sun was beginning to dip toward the horizon when we decided to head back to Nick’s Uncle George’s house.