He closed the distance between us. And as soon as his hands were on my hips, his mouth was on mine. The familiar sensations he’d awoken in me came to life, and I clung to him. His tongue entwined with mine, and he grabbed my waist, yanking me against him.
I lifted up on tiptoe, trying to get closer, and moaned softly. He needed to do that again. And more. This is how a kiss was supposed to feel. This is what it was supposed to do to me. I might be inexperienced, but even I knew what a good kiss felt like.
And. This. Was. It.
As soon as my lips touched hers, I knew I was making one of the biggest fucking mistakes of my life. I shouldn’t have done that. I really shouldn’t have done that. Seeing her in that bastard’s arms had triggered something deep within me. Something had made me go crazy and come down on her like a barbarian or some shit like that. I’d needed to show her who she should really be kissing. That same primal urge had apparently taken away the common sense God had given me. This was strictly off limits. Forbidden.
Yet I couldn’t stop.
When she whimpered into my mouth and pressed even closer to me, pressing her soft stomach against my hard cock, I wanted so badly to forget all the reasons why I couldn’t kiss her. Forget all the reasons I couldn’t bring her back to my place and spend all night making her scream my name.
But then my phone buzzed.
And all the reasons I shouldn’t be kissing her came flooding back. I jerked free and stumbled back, a hand over my mouth. As if that would help remove the memory of how wonderful she tasted. “Fuck.”
She stiffened, her sapphire eyes going narrow. “No. Fuck you.” Flinging her hair over her shoulder, she headed for the dorms.
I ignored my phone and stumbled after her. “Wait. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry about what?” She spun around, arms akimbo and eyes blazing. “Sorry you kissed me again? Sorry you keep kissing me and then regretting it? Sorry you keep following me around?” She shoved my shoulders hard, but I didn’t move. Not much could move me anymore. “What’s your deal, anyway?”
I clenched my jaw. “The truth is, I don’t want to want you. I’m a Marine. I could be out of this place in days for all I know. And I barely know you, and yet I can’t stay away. That’s what I’m doing here. That’s why I keep coming back.”
Even if it is my job to follow you around.
“Why aren’t you supposed to want me?” Her eyes went wide and she pointed a finger at me. “Oh my God, you have a girlfriend. Don’t you?”
My heart stuttered to a stop before speeding up painfully. For a second, I thought she knew who I really was. For a second, I thought my cover had been blown. And I had been relieved. Maybe I needed to stop this game. Quit.
“No. I don’t.” I held my hands out to my sides, palms up. “I’m not a cheater.”
“Just a player.”
No, just a liar. “Pretty much. And I’m already committed to my work.”
She pressed her lips together. “The Marines.”
I wanted to correct her. Tell her it was my other job that was causing problems, but then she’d want more info. Info I couldn’t give her. “Right.”
She smoothed her hair. “So what are we supposed to do? Stop seeing each other?”
I couldn’t do that even if my job wasn’t to see her. I wanted to be with her, plain and simple; no matter how wrong it might be. “No. I can’t do that.”
“Then what do you want from me?” She tilted her head back and looked up at me, her lips soft and her eyes even softer. I wanted to kiss her again, but I held back. “You aren’t making any sense.”
“I want to…I want to teach you to surf, and ride on my bike, and be with you, but I can’t be with you.”
I cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead. Her lids drifted shut, and she swayed closer. It took all my control to not capture her lips. To not take what she so freely offered, but she didn’t realize who she offered her lips to. If she knew she would hate me.
More than I hated myself right now.
She held on to my biceps and gave me a small smile. “Friends?”
“Friends.”
She nodded and dropped her hold on me. I let her go, but it was hard. Way too fucking hard. “Then you can’t be mad if you see me kissing other guys. You can’t not want me, but not want me to be with someone else. That’s not fair.”
The hell it wasn’t.
“I can’t promise that.” I gritted my teeth. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep, and I don’t think I can keep that one.”
“Then at least promise you won’t lie to me anymore.” She canted her head. “Can you promise me that?”
I swallowed hard. “I can’t promise that either,” I managed to say. “But I can promise to do my best not to hurt you and to be a good friend.”
She gave me one last look and turned on her heel, leaving me behind. I followed her, even though I had been clearly dismissed. Yep. She was just like her father. “Would you rather I lie and say I’ll never tell you a lie? Who can promise that?”
“Honest people. That’s who.”
I laughed hard. “So you’ve never lied to me?”
She hesitated. I could see her recalling our time together, going over every conversation in detail. After licking her lips, she finally admitted, “No. I guess I can’t say that.”
“See?” Of course, I already knew all about the lies she’d told me. Every single one. “No one can promise that. People lie all the time, especially when it comes to little things.”
My phone buzzed again, but I ignored it. Hers buzzed too and she pulled it out. After quickly typing on her phone, she gave me her attention again. “Fine. You win.” Her phone buzzed again and she rolled her eyes. “What is he even doing up?”
“Who?” I asked, even though I knew who it was. I hadn’t answered his text soon enough, so he’d texted his daughter. The dude needed some form of medication and some serious help.
“My dad.” She stole a quick peek at me as she texted. “He’s kind of crazy protective.”
“No kidding.”
She snorted. “I wish I was kidding. It’s, like, after midnight there.”
“Where are you from?”
She froze, her fingers hovering over her iPhone screen. “Washington, D.C.”
“Nice.” I rocked back on my heels, slipping back into my role. It was time to play the part of interested friend again. Asking questions I already knew the answer to. “What does he do?”
“Oh, nothing too interesting.” She put her phone away and gave me a calculating stare. “Something to do with billing.”
Or making bills. “Oh, that sounds fun.”
“Not really,” she said, smiling. “It’s pretty boring. What do your parents do?”
“My mom died of cancer when I was sixteen.” I ignored the pang of pain I still felt at the loss. There was no use living in the past, and it would never go away. “My dad is in security.”
She placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry for you loss. I can’t even imagine…”
I knew she was close with her mother. Much closer than she was to her father, who seemed determined to run her life for her, no matter how old she might be. “Thanks.”
“Can friends hug?”
“Hell yeah they can.”
She flung her arms around my neck, holding me close. For a second, my arms lingered at her hips, but then I let myself pull her close. I may have buried my face in her neck, but that was pure speculation I would deny even under torture if asked later.
She stepped back and grinned up at me. “So…surfing tomorrow?”
“Sure.” I headed toward her dorm room, but she didn’t follow me. I stopped walking. “Hello?’
She grinned. “Hi.”
“Why aren’t you coming with me?”
“I have to go back to the party.” She pointed over her shoulder. “Marie’s waiting for me. I promised her I wouldn’t leave early again.”
I stiffened. I didn’t
like the thought of her hanging out with more guys like the one who’d just kissed her. “You’re going back to that place? To that guy?”
“Yeah, I can handle him.”
She started for the party, but I grabbed her elbow. “Don’t go. Those places are asking for trouble. What if something bad happens?”
She raised her brows. “What if it doesn’t?”
“At least let me go with you.”
“Nope.” She wiggled free and started walking again. “I want to be on my own. I’m ready to go back into the masses. If I’m going to be in college, I have to get used to this type of thing, right?”
“You don’t have to party to be in college,” I said tightly. “You can, ya know, study.”
“I plan on doing that.” She stopped on the steps of the party. The loud music came out the windows, and I could see a couple getting pretty hot and heavy almost directly behind her. Would that be her soon? “But tonight I’m being someone besides myself. And I’m going to go have some fun, even if it kills me.”
It might not kill her, but she might be the death of me.
She wiggled her fingers in my direction and disappeared inside the building. I stood there awkwardly, my hands in my pockets, and shifted on my feet so I could see her. She grabbed another wine cooler and made her way over to a young man sitting in the corner. He had blond hair and screamed of money.
He was probably born with a silver spoon in his mouth, just like Carrie. He wore high-quality clothing and his Rolex glinted in the dim lighting. The boy looked up at her as if she were a goddess and moved over so she could sit beside him. They conversed quietly, and then the boy laughed at something Carrie said.
While I watched from outside, like someone who didn’t belong.
Because I didn’t, in more ways than one.
The next morning, I struggled to get to the surface, my lungs bursting with the need to breathe. The need for air. I kicked wildly but seemed to be getting nowhere fast. I knew time was running out. Knew I needed to breathe sooner rather than later. If I died in this ocean, Dad would kill me.
Finn had given me a ten-minute lecture about the dangers of surfing. Telling me to never leave his side, never take a wave that wasn’t the right size for me, never take chances, and above all—never disobey him out in the ocean. Out there, he was my boss and I would “fucking listen.” Well, I had followed all those rules. I had fucking listened.
But I was still drowning.
Just as I was certain I would never see the light of day again, a strong hand closed around my wrist and tugged me to the surface. As I gulped in a deep breath, the air stinging my oxygen-deprived lungs, I opened my eyes and saw Finn looking down at me with a tight jaw. Little droplets of water spiked on his long lashes, and his hair was soaking wet.
“Got you,” he said, his voice rough.
“Thanks,” I sputtered, struggling to catch my breath. I shivered, and he frowned down at me even more. “It’s c-cold under there.”
“Yeah. I noticed,” he said. A muscle ticked in his jaw again. What was his deal? “You almost drowned. You know that, right?”
“I was fine.” And I was also a big fat liar. I hadn’t been fine. Far from it. And truth be told? I’d been terrified. But that was all the more reason for me to keep going. To try again until I got better. I refused to back down. “Ready to go again?”
“Hell no. You’re done for today, no matter what you say,” he said, paddling toward the shore and towing me behind him like an errant child. “If I have to save your life one more time today, you’ll owe me your first born son.”
I could fight his hold and insist on continuing, but the truth was I was worn out. I could feel my exhaustion all the way to my bones. We’d been in the water for three hours. I was tired, achy, and freezing. California water might look inviting, but it was freaking frigid. “F-Fine. We’ll do it again next weekend.”
He shot me an incredulous look. “You want to go back out?”
“Of course,” I said through numb lips. “I want to learn.”
“You’re something else,” he muttered, shaking his head.
“W-What’s that supposed to mean?”
He lifted a shoulder. “I would’ve thought one time would be enough for you.”
“I don’t give up easily.” As soon as my feet hit sand, I pulled free of his grip. His assumptions about me were getting awfully annoying. “I get my steely determination from my father and my need to succeed from my mother. So don’t assume I’ll quit so easily.”
“Relax. I didn’t mean to insult you.”
“You did.”
I waited for him to apologize. To say he was wrong about me. Good thing I didn’t hold my breath, because I’d have died waiting. Instead, he shot me an amused look and slung his board under his arm. When he reached for mine, I shook my head and mimicked his hold with my own.
“Refusing help now?” he asked, his eyes lighting up with amusement.
I had to know how to do this myself. He wouldn’t always be with me. “I don’t need you doting all over me, thank you very much.”
“Doting?” he spluttered, his face turning red. “I’m not doting on you. Christ.”
“I’m perfectly capable of carrying my own board.”
“Unbelievable,” he muttered under his breath. He shook his head and walked toward our towels. “Take off the wetsuit.”
I looked down at the only thing keeping me warm right now. “Why? That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Can you not argue for one time in your life?”
“Excuse me for speaking my mind, master.” I stiffened. “I’d say it’ll never happen again, but it would be a lie.”
He laughed. “Just trust me, okay? You’ll warm up quicker without the suit.” He held out my towel. “And put this on once you’re out of it.”
Why did I have to wear a towel? Maybe he couldn’t stand the sight of me. “Right here?”
He cocked a brow. “Yeah. What’s wrong? You naked under there?”
“No, of course not.” I looked around. A bunch of surfers were stripping out of their suits without a shred of modesty a few feet over, chatting about the waves that would be coming from the storm tonight. Apparently undressing in public was normal. “I just didn’t realize…”
I drifted off, feeling stupid. It’s not like my bikini I wore underneath was something I never showed anyone. It was meant to be worn out in public, for Pete’s sake. I might be undressing in public in front of a bunch of men, but it was a bikini. No big deal.
After taking a deep breath to calm my stupidly racing heart, I peeled the wetsuit off my body. For a brief second, I thought my bikini top had gone off with the suit, but a quick glance showed it was still in place—but slightly skewed. As I adjusted the top, I lifted my head and found Finn watching me with dark eyes. As our gazes collided, he turned away.
I had caught him watching me, and the look in his eyes had sent a fist of something crashing through me. Desire? Need? Both.
God, he didn’t make any sense. He watched me as if he couldn’t get his mind off me, and yet he kept insisting he couldn’t have me. Heaven forbid another man looked my way though. He’d be all over the guy in two seconds flat, just like a jealous boyfriend. All the cons without the pros.
I tugged the wetsuit past my hips, but stopped when I realized the wetsuit wasn’t the only thing I was removing. “Oops. My bikini bottom almost came off.”
“Please make sure it doesn’t,” he said over his shoulder. “Unless you want to put on a show for a bunch of older men.”
Were they all older? I scanned the men surrounding us. A guy was about my age leaned against a tree, his eyes on me. “They’re not all old. The guy watching me over there is my age. Actually, he’s kind of cute…”
Finn spun around so fast he should have gotten whiplash. Within seconds, he was in front of me, his hands on my hips and his back pressed to my front. “Who? Where?”
Yep. Jealous boyfriend, only withou
t the perks. No way I was letting him go all alpha male on the poor guy for daring to look at me. “I think he might have left.”
I pretended to look around his wide shoulders, leaning against his back for support. When my breasts brushed against his damp skin, my already hard nipples pebbled into even harder beads, seeming to beg for his touch. Could he tell? Did he know? When he tensed up and drew in a deep breath, I got my answer. “Fuck, Carrie. What are you doing?”
“Just looking around for that guy,” I breathed, finding boldness in his obvious reaction to me. “Why? Is something wrong?”
“You aren’t ready for what you’re starting, Ginger.”
Yeah, I was. He was the one who wasn’t ready. Not me.
I didn’t know what struck me, what made me think that I could seduce him. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. He’d probably been with countless women, while I was nothing but a nineteen-year-old virgin who read too many romance books. One who didn’t know what to do with a man like Finn.
But I tried anyway. I trailed my fingers over his shoulders, then leaned in and pressed a kiss to the back of his shoulder. Reaching around him, I let my hands slide down his hard pecs, toward his abs. He tensed and hissed through his teeth. I bit down on his shoulder and tried to get up the nerve to go even lower.
He shuddered and leaned back into me, his hands reaching around to grab my butt. His fingers fanned out over the top of my thighs, so close to touching me where I needed him most, yet not close enough. “Carrie…” he said, his voice strained. “You need to…I need to…back away. Now. Or you’ll be mine in more ways than you can handle. Right here. Right now. In front of everyone.”
After a second of hesitation, I backed off, the intensity in his voice almost too much for me to handle. I didn’t doubt that he meant it. That he would kiss me in front of everyone. But surely not…not what he said. He acted as if he was about to bend me over the bench and have his way with me.
“You wouldn’t.” I pressed my hands to my cheeks, which suddenly felt way too hot.
“I would.” He spun to face me, his face red. “What game are you playing?”
My gaze fell to his erection, which strained against his swim trunks. He wanted me, just like I wanted him. I swallowed past the Sahara Desert that was now my throat and forced my eyes northward. “I’m not playing any games. I just wanted—”
The OUT OF LINE Series Page 5