Slowly, her wide eyes rose from the key until her gaze collided with mine. “You gave me a key? To your place?”
“I did.” I tugged on my hair and shifted on my feet. “If you don’t want it, it’s cool. I just thought it would be nice for you to be able to come over here whenever you wanted, even if I’m not here. You could come here and study, or sleep, or eat, or whatever you wanted even if I’m…”
…not here.
Yeah, I already said that.
I stopped talking and stared at my feet, because I was babbling like a fucking idiot. I didn’t like acting like an idiot, although I’d been doing it way too much lately. Apparently, love and idiocy went hand in hand.
“Finn?”
I lifted my head and dropped my hand. “Yeah?”
“This is so…wow,” she said softly. “Thank you.”
I nodded, not sure what else to say. I wanted her in my home all the time, so I gave her a key. It was simple. “Go ahead and see if it works.”
It did. I already tested it.
But at least it gave her something to do besides stare at me looking all happy and yet somehow sad. It’s like she knew why I was really doing this. Even if I was gone, it would be like she was with me whenever she came here, and that meant something.
She slid the key into the lock and turned it, giving me a shaky smile when it opened. “It works.”
“Good,” I said, my voice gruff. “Go in, then.”
She went inside and flipped on the light, stopping a few steps in. She stood in the middle of the living room area, her eyes on my closet. Not a big shocker there. After all, it became clear, quite quickly, that I’d cleared some space in my closet for her—complete with pink fucking hangers waiting for her shit.
Yeah. Pink.
“Did you…is that…?”
“For you?” I leaned against the door and crossed my ankles, trying to go for casual and unconcerned. “Yeah. Last time I checked, I didn’t use pink. I know it doesn’t go with your hair, but…” I shrugged, even though she wasn’t looking at me. She was still staring at the closet. “I figured that would make the clothes stand out more, since you never wear it. Ya know?”
She walked up to the closet and ran her hands over the pink hangers, then touched my cammies before letting her hand drop to her side. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” I crossed the room and came up behind her, resting my hands on her shoulders. I leaned down and kissed the top of her ginger head, breathing in the scent of the shampoo that I’d bought for her. “But are you?” I asked softly. “It’s not like you’re moving in or anything. It’s just an open-door policy.”
She nodded. “You know I’m not going anywhere, right?”
“I know you think that, and I know you want to believe it. And so do I.” I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her close, more so to hide my face from her than anything. And I really didn’t want to fight again. “But I’ve seen a lot more of the world than you have. Shit happens and life is hard. If I leave—”
She smacked me. “I’m not going to move on or forget you.”
I flinched. “I know.” Or, at least I knew she didn’t plan on it. But plans changed, and so did people. Especially when they were separated. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
She tensed in my arms. “But you are. You’re worried if you go on deployment I’ll move on to another guy, aren’t you? You don’t trust me.”
Oh, fuck. This was going to be another fight if I didn’t fix it and fix it now. “Ginger…”
“No way. You’re not getting off that easily.”
My hands flexed on her, but she moved out of my arms. I missed her already. The softness in her blue eyes gave way to her icy look, and she put her hands on her hips. Oh yeah. I’d pissed her off. Damn it. “I trust you, Ginger.”
“Don’t Ginger me, mister.” She poked a finger in my chest and I held my hands up in surrender. “Do you have such little faith in me that you think I would freaking leave you when you’re off defending our country? Really?”
“You’re not the one I don’t have faith in,” I said, squaring my jaw. “I’m worried I’ll do something to fuck this up.”
“How could you mess this up?”
Well, for starters I could die. But I didn’t say that. She would only worry even more. I scrambled for some bullshit reason to give her, but came up a round short. So I shrugged and said nothing. She pushed me hard, back toward the bed, and I stumbled a little bit before I could catch my balance.
Was it somehow perverted that I liked her beating me up? Because I did.
She shoved me again. The back of my knees hit the bed, and I fell onto it, not even bothering to fight it. When I hit the mattress, she climbed on top of me and held my hands down. “I’m going to tell you this once and once only: I will not leave you. And if you leave, I will always be here waiting for you when you get back. Whether it’s in a few days, a week, or a freaking year. I’ll be here. I’ll be yours.”
Something inside of me gave way and broke. Maybe it was my doubt. Maybe it was something else. All I knew is what caused it. Her. “Fuck, I love you. So damn much it scares the shit out of me. I’ve never been scared of anything before. Guns. Surfing. War. But now I have the biggest fear of all—losing you.”
“Finn…” she whispered, her voice breaking.
I slipped my hand behind her head and urged her down, kissing her the second her lips touched mine. Her fingers flexed on mine, and she moaned softly, straining to get closer to me. I slanted my head, deepening the kiss even more, and she wrapped her arms around me.
Man, I needed this in my life. Needed her lips on mine, her arms around me tight, her grip on my heart secure and complete. Without it, I’d be alive, and I’d be here, but I wouldn’t be me. I wouldn’t be living.
My hands moved down her back slowly until I cupped her ass, urging her even closer to my cock. She pressed down, a soft moan escaping her. She adjusted herself slightly so she straddled me, her legs tucked behind her, and she moved against me in a sensuous, perfect circular motion.
I lifted my hands higher, burying them in her hair and yanking her down harder. She whimpered into my mouth and curled her fingers into my pecs, moving her hips faster. She tugged on my shirt impatiently. I broke the kiss off long enough for her to yank it over my head, and then I rolled her beneath me.
Her legs closed around my waist, urging me closer, and my gut tightened. If she didn’t stop making those little sounds, I’d be inside of her before she even came for me once. Slowly, I ran my hands over her breasts, lightly teasing her nipples. She arched into my hand, begging me for more without words, and I gave her what she wanted. Hell, I’d always give her what she wanted.
I was that much of a sap.
I cupped her, rolling my palms over her. The shirt had to go and so did the bra, so I stopped kissing her long enough to get her naked and grab a condom. As I stripped off her pants, I kissed a path down her thigh, over her knee, and nipped at her ankle. She cried out and pressed into the mattress, her breath coming in tiny bursts.
As I removed all my clothing, I watched her. I rolled the condom over my cock, never dropping my eyes from her. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were closed, and she trailed her hand lightly over her own stomach, a small moan escaping at the touch.
Holy fucking hell, she looked like a naughty angel brought to Earth. My angel…and I was never letting her go. Her father could kiss my ass. I was the man for her, and we both knew it. And wasn’t that all that mattered? I’d spent all this time stressing about her father’s reaction, when I should have been focusing on her.
I wouldn’t make the mistake again.
I crawled up her body, leaving kisses and nips as I went, stopping only once I was at her hip. I rolled my tongue over her hipbone, my heart quickening when she cried out and scraped her nails across my shoulders. I loved the way she looked when she was turned on. All rosy cheeks and soft lips. All mine.
I f
licked my tongue over her clit, my finger thrusting inside of her at the same time. She screamed and arched her hips; her breath coming out harsh and uneven. “God, Finn. Don’t stop.”
Oh, I wasn’t planning on it. Not until she was a quivering mess.
I rolled my tongue over her, pressing a little harder, and moved my fingers in and out, building up the speed with each motion. When she tightened her legs on my head, a cry escaping her lips that sounded more like a breath than a word, I positioned myself between her legs. She scrambled to hold on to me, and I lifted her hips, driving inside of her with one smooth thrust.
“Finn,” she cried, her nails raking down my back.
“Come for me again,” I demanded in her ear, biting down on her shoulder and thrusting harder. “Let go for me.”
She dug her nails into my back and held her breath, her pussy clenching down around my cock so hard that she almost pushed me out. When she came, her walls squeezing me until I couldn’t fucking stand it anymore, I was right there with her, my hands gripping her as tight as I could as I soared into the sky.
When I came back down, she was running her fingers up and down my spine, kissing my shoulder over and over again. I knew, right then and there, that she’d meant every word she said. She’d be here waiting for me no matter what happened.
And it felt fucking amazing to finally, truly believe in that kind of love.
I looked up at Finn, trying to let my love shine out onto him, or light him up or something. It sounded stupid, in theory, but how many times have you looked at a couple and known they were completely in love just from the way they looked at one another?
If ever a girl looked at a guy that way, it had to be Finn and me.
I cupped his face like he always did to me, running my finger over his mouth. I could see why he liked doing it. It was sweet and made me feel closer to him. I repeated the gesture, rubbing the lip I had been kissing. “You okay?”
Because I couldn’t live in a world where Finn wasn’t okay.
“More than okay.” He kissed me, light and teasing, then pulled back again. “But you have to study. I distracted you.”
“I know.” I smiled up at him. “But I guess I have some unpacking to do first, huh?”
“Lots.”
He pushed off me, and I got dressed, watching him as he lounged back on the bed naked and completely okay with that. And so was I.
I could stare at him all night long, admiring the way the colors swirled over his hard muscles the whole time. His tattoos were perfect to me, but he seemed to think there was something wrong with them.
The fact that he thought he wasn’t good enough for me and my father made my throat tighten. Would I ever be able to convince him I loved him exactly how he was, not as a version of what he could be? That I didn’t want him to change at all?
Once I had on one of his green Hollister shirts and a pair of panties, I headed for the closet. His uniforms stared back at me, and I swear the things were alive. Like they were watching me. I was trying to act all confident about this whole possible deployment mess, but the truth was…I was scared, too.
He lifted on his elbows and watched me from the bed, his steamy eyes on me the whole time. I wanted nothing more in this world than to climb on top of him again and curl up in his arms. There was nothing in this world that his arms around me couldn’t fix.
I picked up my bag and took out one of my shirts, hanging it up on the hanger. It meant a lot to me, him offering me this space in his life and his key. It was almost as if, when he was gone, I’d get to be here with him—even without him.
It didn’t make much sense, yet it totally did.
And I liked the idea of sleeping in his bed when he wasn’t here. Smelling him on his sheets. But how long would the scent of Finn linger if he left? A day? A month? I had no freaking clue, but I did know one thing: I needed to spend as much time as possible with him.
I put a shirt on the hanger and gathered by thoughts. My phone rang from beside Finn on the bed. He glanced down at it and his mouth tightened. He picked it up and held it out to me. “It’s your father. He still isn’t texting me like he used to, so be careful what you say. Try to get intel from him.”
I nodded, crossed the room, and sat at his hip. After taking my phone out of his hand, I said, “Hey, Dad.”
“Hello,” Dad said, his voice clear and crisp. “Where are you?”
“You’re up late.” I checked the time, ignoring his question. It was almost midnight back home. Finn toyed with my hair, sending little shivers down my spine. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping by now? And why have you been so quiet this week?”
“I told you I’d be busy,” he said. “My turn for a question. Shouldn’t you be in your room?”
I tensed, and so did Finn. He must’ve heard Dad’s voice through the speaker. He dropped my hair and rolled off the bed. After grabbing his own phone, he swiped his finger across the screen. I raised my brows at him and he shook his head with a frown. He hadn’t gotten any texts from my father asking where I was.
What was Dad up to, and what did it mean for us?
“Uh…” I forced myself to pay attention to Dad. “What makes you think I’m not in my room? Did you put a webcam up in it or something? I’m pretty sure I forbade cameras in my bedroom once I hit puberty.”
He snorted. “Don’t play coy with me, missy. I’m here, at your dorm, with your mother—and you’re not here. Where are you?”
“Wait, what?” I leapt to my feet, my pulse racing and my knees trembling. “Why are you here in San Diego?”
Finn cursed under his breath and dialed someone. He grabbed his pants off the floor and stepped into them without boxers, his movements jerky and fast. I picked up my own pants, holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder.
Dad sighed. “We wanted to surprise you with a visit. We barely hear from you anymore, and your mother was worried. But all I really care about right now is where the hell—”
“Hugh.” There was a commotion, something that sounded like a fight, and then Mom’s voice came through. “Don’t mind him. We know you’re an adult now and you’re out with friends. We missed you, dear. Where are you? We could come there to meet you and your friends.”
“No.” I shot Finn a desperate look, and he stepped into his motorcycle boots without a word. “I’ll come to you. Just give me, like…?” I shot Finn a look and he held up his hand. “…five minutes, and I’ll be there.”
Mom sighed. “All right. I’ll hold off your father. But hurry up, dear. I need a Carrie hug.”
My heart wrenched with a bit of homesickness, despite the stress of the situation. That’s what Mom called it when I hugged her as tight as I could. When I was a kid, every night she would pick me up and I would cling to her, all arms and legs and giggles, giving her the biggest good night hug I could.
When she let go and I stayed in place without her support, I would giggle harder—until I lost my grip and fell to the bed. Now I was too big to hang off her, but we still called our hugs Carrie hugs. “I’ll hurry, I promise.”
“Give me the phone, Margie.”
“No.”
“Give me the—” Another commotion. “And you’ll be telling me who you were with,” Dad called out. “Missy.”
I could just picture him, pushing in to Mom to get another word in. Finn furiously typed something on his phone. Probably texting my dad in an attempt to cover both our asses before it was too late. Before Finn came under suspicion.
“Oh, leave her alone,” Mom said. “See you soon.”
“Bye,” I said, hanging up. I looked at Finn. “What the heck are they doing here?”
“I don’t have a fucking clue. I didn’t know they were coming,” Finn said, grabbing his keys and heading for the door with large, hurried steps. “Why didn’t he tell me he was coming? This isn’t good. This isn’t good at all.”
I followed him to the door, swallowing hard. Half my clothes were hung up in his closet and the other half
were on his bed. I grabbed my empty bag. “I’ll clean these up and then—”
Finn waved a hand and made an impatient sound. “Leave them. There’s no time for that. We have to leave, and we have to leave yesterday.”
I hesitated. “It’ll be a little rough for a while, I get that, but why are you so upset?”
“Because I’m wondering why the fuck he didn’t tell me he was coming, why the hell he hasn’t texted me during the past two days, and why, even now, there’s no text from him.” His phone chimed, and he closed his eyes, his jaw ticking. “There it is.”
He took his phone out of his pocket and opened the door for me. He scanned it and typed, while I tried to hold on to my patience. “What does it say?”
“He wants to know where you are.” More typing. “I’m telling him you went out to eat with a new friend. Give me the name of someone you talk to in class. Someone new?”
I scrambled for the first name that came to mind. My lab partner I’d studied with the other day popped into my head. “Susan Williams.”
“Good. He won’t be able to locate her that quickly, so she’s a good cover story. Your dad didn’t tell me he’s here in California, though.” More typing, then he lifted his head. “Keep walking, Ginger. I can text and walk.”
I clenched my fists. “I don’t like this.”
He didn’t look up, just kept typing. “Don’t like what?”
“You’re acting different,” I said, my voice cracking. “Again.”
He’d barely looked at me at all since the phone call, and now he was acting cold. Distant. It freaked me out. Was he regretting the fact that he had me in his house when his boss came to visit? Kicking himself for being with me?
I didn’t know, but I knew something was off.
He looked at me, his eyes as closed off as his voice. “Of course I am. I’m trying to cover our tracks. Your daddy’s out there, thinking God knows what, doing God knows what, and I need to get you there without him knowing where the fuck you were. This is me in work mode, Ginger.”
“He won’t find out. You’ll be fine.”
The OUT OF LINE Series Page 27